do not read until you're finished reading IJOTAA nigga
yes yes
DATE BEGUN: 23 oct 2016
DATE FINISHED: 25 jan 2017
this took me way longer than it should have
just
writer's block all around yo
i tried really hard the whole way through, but i wasn't about to just put out fucking whatever just to say i put something out
once again, i had the name, so i had to do it
soz
only bad thing about midquels like this: LIMITED CAST
some of my favourite characters can't appear (valerie, harvey) [i WILL figure out a way to include piper and ressie though]
this is the one where i realised i've gone from
"write dumb stories about my friends"
to
"write dumb stories about self-created waifus"
no regrets
also: i added another dlc pack to king bran kart racing so it includes the new characters from this one
thank me l8r
NEW DLC:
Brooke (ALL-AROUND, purple)
Amber (ACCELERATION, medium green)
Olivia (HANDLING, tan)
Hulk Hogan (SPEED, yellow)
Sara (ALL-AROUND, purple)
Hattie (ACCELERATION, dark red)
Hanukkah Lady (SPEED, dark green)
Azalea (HANDLING, neon cyan)
okay so
i realised a long long time ago that mission 000 (the one i always copy/paste into each installment)
is really shitty (just like all of the original a thing)
so TODAY
2017/1/18
i wrote a new one
AND
i copy/pasted it into all of the other ones, barring the original
it's not a 10/10, but it's CERTAINLY better than the old one
i didn't put it in the original because something decent followed by 125 shitty missions is too much contrast
+ prosperity
YOU'D THINK that mission 001 creates a plothole, but I am too clever for that
All I have to say in order to resolve any conflict between what I write now and what I wrote in OTLTA is that Jakey didn't know Piper was Rachel's mother. Jackson is a common enough last name. Now we can have our titties and feel them too
Also, Jakey can speak in complete sentences in this mission because he can't see the nipples.
The reason he forgot Piper's name in that one and called her Mrs. Jackson was because of the nipples.
Mission 002: the door/curtains' signs form a haiku
Employees only
No admittance past curtain
Seriously dude
Yuko is now going to join Shopkeepour as a "sometimes gives missions sometimes doesn't" character. Thank you for
So, I've realised that I have somehow made Piper a contender for "silliest character". Her original purpose when I created her was to be the MILF who seduces our hero into helping her with her stamp collection.
Since then, she has become a silly woman who collects all manner of silly things and needs our hero to help her acquire more silly things. This is a prime example of how I write characters. They start out with a purpose in mind, then as I expand the character, their original purpose ends up disappearing entirely.
Mission 007 is the one where I tried playing with expectations. Like, when you're reading, you've got an expectation of what I'm going to write next. But then I just don't. It's just kind of anticlimactic. I don't know if it worked or not, because I am the only person that can't really judge that, since I wrote it and all. So I just left it in and I am going to see how it goes.
if i were really doing the videogame and i really got hulk hogan to appear i'd just let him say whatever and let him do what he does
I also wanted to lead people into thinking I was going for the John Cena meme, but then turning it on its head, but I'm really not good enough at writing for that to work.
Mission 013: YES, I know the proper word is "ministerin", but it sounds really fucking dumb and never reads right no matter how many times I go over it. "Ministress" at least sounds decent.
Mission 024 is based on a true story
Mission 040 is where I realised Grace has gone from "potential waifu" to "babysitter"
Mission 041: Changquan Chin's etc. is a chain; this particular restaurant does not have a prize fightery, kind of like how some McDonald's have a playpark
Mission 042 was originally written for One of Those Things, but I couldn't figure out where to go with it. Everything from "blindfold store" on is new.
Mission 043 was originally 042 but I swapped them
Mission 046: shortly after azalea travelled back in time, king bran XLIX was santified so his real title is Saint King Bran XLIX, CC (Companion of the Canadian Empire)
Mission 047: i was originally going to use the UK Now! series so i could use this line:
""i am so impressed by this 'now that's what i call music' guy; just listen to his vocal range!!! one moment he is singing a sweet little song about kissing beneath the milky twilight and the next he's blue da ba dee da ba die""
but then i realised that's dumb and went for the US series (which never featured sixpence none the richer at all!!!)
the ending has A LOT of hints to who the villain was
and mission 070 basically just flat-out tells you the loudspeaker announcements were prerecorded