Passover Special 2014

PASSOVER SPECIAL AND SHIT:
"man i can't believe i got passed over for a promotion again all because taylor 'did more work', 'had a more positive attitude', and 'started less fires' than me" "yeah well we'll show him" Jakey cocks his shotgun with one hand, and he and Eif head down to Svart's house. Jakey rings the doorbell, and Svart answers the door. "oh come in come in" Svart leads the two inside. "that's a really nice shotgun" "thanks; it's grampa jakey's; he used it to kill foreign dignitaries" "truly a hero to us all" Jakey points his shotgun at Svart. "give eif a promotion or else" "or else what" "uh i hadn't gotten that far yet" "well i like your enthusiasm; how would you like a promotion" "really?!" "wait WHAT" Eif punches a wall. "i got passed over AGAIN?!" Eif kicks Jakey's shotgun, causing it to fill Svart with lead. "NO" "j-jakey" "svart" A single tear streams down Svart's and Jakey's faces in unison. "please take care of my company for me; i am giving you the final promotion" "WHAT" "eif please this is a sad moment" "NO FUCK YOU" Eif pummels Jakey with his own shotgun. "oh no now i am crippled and unfit for bossmanship; i will have to promote someone to my place" "don't worr-" Jakey gets out his phone and calls Bran. "yo bran how would you like a promotion" Eif looks around and nods his head, smiling like a lunatic. "heh yeah that's yeah ha" Eif puts Jakey's shotgun in his mouth and pulls the trigger, splattering his brains all over the wall. "oh dear; who will fill his position" Jakey grabs his phone and calls A HARLEQUIN FOETUS KNIGHT
Sheriff Antony twirls his revolvers. "heh" Bran launches the harlequin foetus knight into the air, and Sheriff Antony shoots it with his revolvers. Taylor leaps into the air and impales the harlequin foetus knight. Taylor leaps off, and Tony runs at the harlequin foetus knight, sword dragging across the floor, and releases it into a deadly spiral of energy. The harlequin foetus knight is launched into the air, and Michelle leaps at it and kicks it at a wall. Amiee :3 makes pastry for Jakey and Eif as they play Strip Parcheesi. "so like" "yeah?" "what now" "well according to protocol, one of us has to get his/her powers now" "but i already have them" "play along you you not-very-cool guy" "TAKE THAT BACK" "okay yeah that was mean" "OKAY" Jakey runs around aimlessly and gets struck by a bolt of electricity. Electricity shoots from Jakey's left hand and obliterates the harlequin foetus knight. "wow nice job jakey" "yeah you're pretty cool" "you mean it?!" "no" "fuck"