ADVENTURE
better safe, then sorry
ADVENTURE
better safe, then sorry

ADVENTURE

STUDIES SHOW THAT ADVENTURE IS AMAZING FOR YOUR HEALTH
 
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 Effect and Cause

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Jakeyadventure
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Jakeyadventure


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PostSubject: Effect and Cause   Effect and Cause Icon_minitimeMon Mar 26, 2012 9:38 pm

Effect and Cause 2mpkbcm
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Number of posts : 13790
Age : 30
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Effect and Cause Empty
PostSubject: Re: Effect and Cause   Effect and Cause Icon_minitimeMon Mar 26, 2012 9:38 pm

CHAPTOUR ONE:
"guys i'm serious" "pfft come on would captain anderson lie to us" "yes" "..." "..." "well you're stupid" "LOOK AT ME I'M JOKER I CAN'T WALK WITHOUT BREAKING ALL MY BONES" "come on guys stop it" "i believe you joker" "thanks shepard" "WELL BACK TO WORK" Shepard pours her coffee into a plant and moseys to the briefing room, whistling badly. "hey bro it's me nihlus" "hey nihlus" "hey i'm gonna make you a spectre" "but i like being alive" "well tough" "hey we're going to find this beacon thing shepard why don't you take kaidan and leroy" "my name isn't leroy" "fuck off leroy" "no" "fuck" "WELP TIME TO DROP" Shepard, Kaidan and Jenkins fall to the ground. "ow" "hey look geth" Jenkins runs out into the open and gets killed. "oh i get it" "hi i'm ashley i-" "OH MY GOD WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOUR FACE" "wat" "it looks like a bee stung her lips" "hey i'm the new party member" "fuck off ashley" "no" "fuck"
"a spectre must be alert at all times for he is t-hey look tv" Nihlus runs over to watch SpongeBob. "Hey It's Me, Saren" "oh hey saren my bro what's up" "Is That SpongeBob" "fuck yeah it is" "Oh Fuck I Love SpongeBob" Saren sits down beside Nihlus. "oh it's over" "Why Did You Do This Nihlus" "what it wasn't me" "Nihlus Why Did You Do It" "b-but" Saren takes out his gun and executes Nihlus. "That Was For SpongeBob" Saren walks away from Nihlus' corpse, a single tear streaming down his cheek.
"oh hey shepard nihlus is dead" "oh okay" "hey look a beacon" Ashley gets lifted by the beacon. "ASHLEY YOU STUPID CUNT" Shepard pushes Ashley out of the way and gets blasted with a beam. "does this mean i'm the commander now" "fuck off ashley" "no" "fuck"
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Jakeyadventure
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Jakeyadventure


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Number of posts : 13790
Age : 30
Registration date : 2007-12-29

Effect and Cause Empty
PostSubject: Re: Effect and Cause   Effect and Cause Icon_minitimeMon Mar 26, 2012 9:38 pm

CHAPTOUR TWO:
"hey shepard what's up" "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAADON'TLETTHEMGETME" "great you broke the commander" "does that mean i-" "NO" "obtw saren betrayed us and shit" "TO THE ANDERSONMOBILE" "we are in that right now" "oh right" Anderson sweats. "carry on then"
"So That Is A Detailed Report On How I Am Innocent And Also Nihlus Wasn't Very Cool Anyway" "i can't argue with that last bit but he is not innocent!!! also the reapers are coming" "These Allegations Are Preposterous" "the allegations have never lied to be before!!!" "hmm well if you bring proof we will try to do things but until then saren is free to roam about the galaxy as he sees fit" "Fuck Yeah Time To Build My Evil Armies" "what was that" "I Mean Time To Build My Not-Evil Armies" "okay go ahead" Saren cuts off communications. "sigh" "hello commander shepard i am garrus vakarian and i am going over here now" "okay" "i cannot forsee an eventuality where we will need to speak to this man again" "HEY COMMANDER GO SPEAK TO GARRUS VAKARIAN" "FUCK"
"so then i was like 'i am going over here now'" "garrus you are such a badass" "i know right" "GARRUS" "oh hey commander shepard we were just talking about how cool i am" "garrus we need your help to stop saren" "okay let's go pick up BACKUP" "fuck yeah" "hey it's me wrex" "FUCK YEAH WREX" "let's go kill fist" "who" "i have no fucking clue" "hey it's me fist" "fist tell me where the plotpoint is!!!" "she's like ten feet away" "okay bye" Wrex kills Fist, and the five run outside. "hey it's me tali" "fuck off tali" "no" "fuck" "i have the mcguffin" "fuck it let's go" "hey thanks for this mcguffin here's your promotion" "what about saren" "we're stripping him of his title" "his pride will be in shambles!!!" "JUST THE EDGE WE NEED" The five start to head for the Normandy. "what about me" "what ABOUT you" "you have to take me along plot demands it" "sigh" "why do all our female party members suck" "i know right"
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Jakeyadventure
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Number of posts : 13790
Age : 30
Registration date : 2007-12-29

Effect and Cause Empty
PostSubject: Re: Effect and Cause   Effect and Cause Icon_minitimeMon Mar 26, 2012 9:38 pm

CHAPTOUR THREE:
"HEY WHAT'S IN THIS ROOM" "hey it's me the plotpoint" "oh hey plotpoint why are you floating" "thought it would be funny" "okay well give me the mcguffin so we c-" "i AM the mcguffin" "oh so do you want to get down or" "that would be nice" Shepard flicks the "stop floating" switch. "thanks let's g-" "HEY I'M A BAD GUY" "oh hey" "can i have the mcguffin chick" "no" "aw come on don't be lame" "sorry but this adventure requires i be lame" "okay you asked for it" The bad guy does a cool pose with his posse. "ow" "WATCH THIS" Shepard and her posse do the greatest pose ever. "NO MY PRIDE IS IN SHAMBLES" The bad guy runs off crying. "good job team"
"hey look what i can do" Liara touches Shepard's head and inhales her memories. "you saw the snurfs on ice?!" "well it was more like the snurfs on slush but yeah" "lucky cunt"
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Number of posts : 13790
Age : 30
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PostSubject: Re: Effect and Cause   Effect and Cause Icon_minitimeMon Mar 26, 2012 9:39 pm

CHAPTOUR FOUR:
"hey bro i need to get to the secret mountain base" "you'll need a car hole pass" "how do i get one of those" "i issue them" "can i have one" "no" "aw come on" "no" "i'll be your best friend" "tempting but no" "i'll fashion my hair into a ridiculous-looking candlabra" "please stop" "fine" "pthht you can get one from a diverthionary quetht" "do you have one" "yeth" "can i have it" "NO" "sigh" Shepard and co. do a pointless diversionary quest. "to the base!!!" "hey look a mako segment" "how bad could this b-OH FUCK IT'S LIKE I'M DRIVING ON ICE" "but you are" "SHUT UP ASHLEY"
"phew we made it" "you crashed the mako fifty-seven times" "I'D LIKE TO SEE YOU DO BETTER" "sigh" The seven trudge off. "hey look it's rachni i know this right off even though they've been extinct my whole life" "WHAT DID YOU GUYS DOOOOOOOOOOOO" "oh we revived a species known for its ferocity; it was so ferocious that we had to call in the krogan to make them extinct; and as you'll recall the krogan are sterile because we deemed them too dangerous" "and you never thought 'hey maybe this is a bad idea'" "not once" "hate my life"
"Hey It's Me Matriarch Benezia" "hey it's me liara your daughter" "Oh Hey What's Up" "well i-" "That Was A Rhetorical Question; The Answer Was Your Doom" "what a cunt" "that's my mother!!!" "liara your mother is a cunt" "b-" "no buts" "hate my life" "Oh By The Way I Was Being Controlled By Saren I Really Love You Liara" "really?!" "Nope" Matriarch Benezia gives the party the middle finger before dying. "fuck" "HEY IT'S ME THE RACHNI QUEEN SPARE ME BRO" "no" "COME ON DON'T BE LAME" "i always wanted to make a species extinct" "sigh" Shepard pulls a nearby lever, killing the rachni queen painfully. "i feel so much better now"
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Jakeyadventure


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Number of posts : 13790
Age : 30
Registration date : 2007-12-29

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PostSubject: Re: Effect and Cause   Effect and Cause Icon_minitimeMon Mar 26, 2012 9:39 pm

CHAPTOUR FIVE:
"hey go do some busywork that endangers us all" "OKAY" "obtw there's an evil sentient plant that's killing us all" "hate my life" "hey i'm green" "WHY ARE YOU GREEN" "i like the colour" "oh that sounds logical" "btw i'm here to kill you" "fuck" "you cannot defeat the thorian it i-hey stop shooting those" "i'd rather not" "fuck" The Thorian dies forever. "HEY IT'S ME I'M BLUE NOW" "oh" Shepard sweats. "you looked better before" "i can change baby i swear" "it's too late for that i want my mcguffin back" "fine" Chick Formerly Coloured Green gives Shepard the McGuffin. "fuck yeah"
"hey look what i can do" Liara touches Shepard's head and absorbs the McGuffin into her own body. "a dvd recording of the snurfs on slush?!" "i searched everywhere for it" "you do care!!!" Liara and Shepard embrace. "so do we have sex now or" "only if the recording quality isn't shitty" "fair enough"
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Jakeyadventure


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Number of posts : 13790
Age : 30
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PostSubject: Re: Effect and Cause   Effect and Cause Icon_minitimeMon Mar 26, 2012 9:39 pm

CHAPTOUR SIX:
"okay so we need to attack this facility that cures a disease that one of your squad members is afflicted with" "LET'S DO IT" "SHEPARD YOU CUNT" "oh wrex i didn't know it was you i thought it was ashley" "oh fair enough" "I'LL SAVE YOU COMMANDER" Ashley whips out her gun and flails around wildly. "SOMEONE GET THIS WOMAN AWAY FROM ME" "we will take her with us!!!" A small group of salarians runs up to Ashley single-file and swing her above their heads, carrying her to the front lines. "hup hup hup hup" "SAVE ME COMMANDER" "YOU GUYS CAN KEEP HER IF YOU'D LIKE"
"Hey I'm A Reaper" "fuck off reaper" "No" "fuck" "We Must Kill You And There Is Nothing You Can Do About It" "but why" "You Would Not Understand" "try me" "I'd Rather Not" "fuck" "Hey It's Me Saren" "fuck off saren" "No" "fuck" "We Have A Score To Settle; No One Hurts My Feelings And Gets Away With It" "fuck" "HEY I'M HERE TO SAVE THE DAY" "yayyyyyyyyyy" "come on kaidan!!!" "right behind you commander!!!" "time to detonate the bomb!!!" "wait ashley's still on the planet" "..." "..." "so yeah detonatin'" "SAVE ME COMMANDER"
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Number of posts : 13790
Age : 30
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PostSubject: Re: Effect and Cause   Effect and Cause Icon_minitimeMon Mar 26, 2012 9:39 pm

CHAPTOUR SEVEN:
"hey nice job saving three planets and two mcguffins" "but you didn't accrue enough style points" "so we're going to have to ground you" "but motherrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr" "no buts" "this SUCKS"
"hey shepard the dvd was great" "glad you liked it" "so about that sex" "i have a question actually" "go ahead" "why are you the only asari with eyebrows" "what" "all the other asari have nothing above their eyes; even your mother" "i don't see any eyebrows" "sigh" "so about that sex" "sigh let's go"
"SHEPARD I HAVE A PLAN" "okay" "i will go kill udina and let you escape" "do you have to kill him i mean" "YES I DO" "i'd rather you not" "i'd rather i do" "no bad anderson bad" "aw" Anderson heads to Udina's office and knocks him out. "we will regret this later" "GO JOKER GO" The Normandy blasts off to the next McGuffin.
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Jakeyadventure


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Number of posts : 13790
Age : 30
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Effect and Cause Empty
PostSubject: Re: Effect and Cause   Effect and Cause Icon_minitimeMon Mar 26, 2012 9:39 pm

CHAPTOUR EIGHT:
"OKAY WHERE'S THAT MCGUFFIN" "over there" Saren shuts the door. "MwaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHa" "fuck" "this will delay our progress by several minutes!!!" Their progress is delayed by several minutes. "psst commander over here" "KIND OF BUSY MYSTERIOUS VOICE" "i have candy" Shepard stomps on the brakes and sprints towards the mysterious voice. "WHERE IS THE CANDY" "there is no candy" "..." "..." "hate my life" "the mcguffin leads to the citadel" "wat" "yeah" "so grounding us was... a good plan?" "yeah" "fuck" "well bye" "hate my life"
"HEY SAREN WE ARE HERE TO STOP YOU FOREVER" "Good Luck" Saren types away at a keypad. "NO SAREN YOU MUSTN'T DO THIS THING" "Oh My God You're Right" Saren kills himself. "well that was easy" Shepard gets up to leave, when Saren comes back to life. "hello" "Hello" Saren blasts everyone into some underground tree place. "wow this is pretty nice" "It Cost A Fortune To Rent" "i know the feeling" "Oh By The Way It Is Time For Your Doom" "old" Shepard shoots Saren. "Fuck Off Shepard" "no" "Fuck"
"oh hey did someone say joker" Joker smirks and flies into Sovereign and shoots the shit out of it. "Fuck Off Joker" "no" "Fuck" Sovereign falls dead. "DAMN i'm good"
"oh hey guys where's shepard" "no fucking clue" "HERE I AM" "get down from there shepard it's dangerous!!!" "MOTHERRRRRR I'M IN HIGH SCHOOL NOW I CAN DO WHAT I WANT" Shepard stumbles and falls off the rubble, breaking her neck. "hate my life"
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Jakeyadventure


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PostSubject: Re: Effect and Cause   Effect and Cause Icon_minitimeMon Mar 26, 2012 9:40 pm

Effect and Cause 33ykobl
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Jakeyadventure


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Number of posts : 13790
Age : 30
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PostSubject: Re: Effect and Cause   Effect and Cause Icon_minitimeMon Mar 26, 2012 9:40 pm

CHAPTOUR NINE:
"We Can Totally Rebuild Shepard" "0/10" "Fuck Off Miranda" "no" "Fuck" Over two years, Tim rebuilds Shepard, piece by piece. Nothing is changed except what is neccessary in the transition from dead to alive. "I Told You So" "fuck off tim" "No" "fuck"
"shepard we have to go" "WHERE AM I" "that is unimportant" "0/10" "fuck off shepard" "no" "fuck" "HEY IT'S ME JACOB" "hey jacob" "hey i'm going to die in five minutes" "sweet" Five minutes pass. "WHAT THE FUCK MIRANDA" "he was a traitor" "0/10" "fuck off jacob" "no" "fuck"
"Hey I'm Your New Employer Also I Am Obviously Evil" "fuck off tim" "No" "fuck" "hey it's me joker" "JOKER MY FRIEND" "check out my ship" "wow sweet" "hello i am the ship's ai, edi" "fuck off edi" "no" "fuck"
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Jakeyadventure


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Number of posts : 13790
Age : 30
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PostSubject: Re: Effect and Cause   Effect and Cause Icon_minitimeMon Mar 26, 2012 9:40 pm

CHAPTOUR TEN:
"hey it's me tali" "fuck off tali" "no" "fuck" "how are you even still alive" "CERBERUS" "fuck off shepard" "no" "fuck" "hey look it's a plotpoint" "can't let them get me!!!" "now we could go into a huge dialogue that ends in everyone hating you orrrrrrrrrrr" Miranda pulls out a box with question marks on it. "you could have what's in... the box" "THE BOX THE BOX" Miranda opens the box to reveal a button. Shepard shoves Miranda and presses the button, causing a crane to appear and take the plotpoint out of its hiding place and throwing it aboard the Normandy. "wait you can't do that" "RENEGADE INTERRUPT" "fuck"
"Hey Shepard I Have An Idea" "fuck off tim" "No" "fuck" "Why Don't You Recruit A Team" "i had a goddamn team" "Had Being The Key Word" "fuck off tim" "No" "fuck"
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Age : 30
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PostSubject: Re: Effect and Cause   Effect and Cause Icon_minitimeMon Mar 26, 2012 9:40 pm

CHAPTOUR ELEVEN:
"hey it's me garrus" "GARRUS" "shepard" Shepard and Garrus nod at eachother for ten minutes. "so yeah do you want to join my team" "okay but wait there is something i must do first" Garrus jumps in front of a missile. "..." "..." "that was awesome!!!" "my flesh is burning" "stop being such a pussy" "fuck off shepard" "no" "fuck"
"crikey!!! i'm a goddamn new character" "cool let's go" "crikey i'd sure love to but me shiela'll be awful sore if i come home with muddy boots again" "what if i solve a problem in your life" "crikey there are these awful merecenaries i've been itchin' to get revenge on" "let's gooooooooooo" "crikey check this out" Zaeed blows up a building full of innocent people. "awesome!!!" "crikey i know right"
"hey i'm a new character the BEST new character" "prove it" "i'd rather not" "sigh" "while i stay here doing cool things why don't you guys do some busywork" "hate my life"
"hey i'm a new character the WORST new character" "prove it" "i'm a bald woman with angst in spades" "okay bye" "nope i'm coming with you" "fuck off jack" "no" "fuck"
"hey i'm a new character that you paid $15 for" "sigh" "LET'S GO ON A QUEST" "OKAY" "HEY I'M HERE TO STEAL YOUR STUFF" "fuck off shepard" "no" "fuck"
"hey i'm the man you came to rescue" "okay let's g-" "NO" Okeer leaps in front of a steamroller. "..." "..." "fuck off okeer?" "no?" "fuck?" "hey look a krogan in tank" "crikey that would make a goddamn good pet" "fuck yeah!!!" "oh hey i'm openin' him" "crikey shepard that seems like an awful bad idea" "TOO LATE" Grunt emerges from the tank. "fuck off shepard" "no" "fuck"
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PostSubject: Re: Effect and Cause   Effect and Cause Icon_minitimeMon Mar 26, 2012 9:40 pm

CHAPTOUR TWELVE:
"hey it's me kaidan" "KAIDAN" "shepard have you been working with cerberus" "... yeah" "fuck off shepard" "no" "fuck" Kaidan walks off into the sunset, disappointed at the turn his friend has made. "there are many things that i would like to say to you but i don't know how"
"Assuming Direct Control-Oh Hey Shepard What's Up" "oh you know just practicing my licks" "Cool Can I Join" "i only brought one exotic instrument" "Oh That's Fine I Have My Own" Harbinger whips out an Epiphone Les Paul. "oh god what a lame instrument" "Take That Back" "no" "I Promise You I Will Have Revenge On You For Hurting My Feelings" "fuck off harbinger" "No" "fuck"
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PostSubject: Re: Effect and Cause   Effect and Cause Icon_minitimeMon Mar 26, 2012 9:41 pm

CHAPTOUR THIRTEEN:
"hey it's me liara" "LIARA" "shepard i must stay here and do paperwork" "fuck my life"
"hey i'm a new character i have no personality" "welcome aboard!!!" "obtw my daughter is psychotic we should stop her" "all right" "hey sailor" "hey" Shepard shoots Morinth in the head, point-blank. "that... wasn't what i had in mind" Shepard shrugs. "crikey that was some goddamn fancy shootin' shepard let's put some kebabs on the barbie to celebrate" "you read my mind zaeed"
"hey i'm an assassin" "oh you must like vents!!!" "not rea-" "I SAID YOU MUST LIKE VENTS" "sigh oh well i don't see a way this could affect me negatively in the future" "that's the spirit"
"hey i'-" "Forget That Shepard It's Time To Do A Horrible Mission That Will Cause You To Hate Me" "but i already-" "Hate Me More Then" "sigh" Tim railroads Shepard into a shitty mission. "Wasn't That Horrible" "i hate you so much" "Good" "hey it's me tali" "tali!!!" "shepard!!!" "hey tali guess what" "what" "fuck off tali" "no" "fuck"
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PostSubject: Re: Effect and Cause   Effect and Cause Icon_minitimeMon Mar 26, 2012 9:41 pm

CHAPTOUR FOURTEEN:
"hey i have an idea" "what's that miranda" "let's do a series of missions designed to show off each character's unique personalities" "sounds good"
"WAAAAAAAH DADDY WHY" "fuck off jacob" "no" "fuck" "WAAAAAAAAAAAH DADDY WHY" "fuck off miranda" "no" "fuck" "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH DADDY WHY" "fuck off tali" "no" "fuck" "time to kill some guys" "i knew you wouldn't let me down gar-" "WAAAAAAAAAH SIDONIS WHY" "..." "..." "um" "well" "i'm sorry but you know what's coming" "i respect you forever" "fuck off garrus" "no" "fuck"
"hey let's go keep the krogan sterile" "good idea" "hey let's go prove that i'm a true krogan" "two birds" "SHEPARD" "WREX" Shepard and Wrex embrace. "bro let's go do bro things" "no i'm too cool to hang out with these losers" "crikey i'm not a loser i've got a pet kangaroo with a goddamn squadron of dingo guards" "i see your point wrex" "well see ya buddy" "bye wrex"
"hey let's go blow shit up" "fuck off jack" "no" "fuck" "hey look at me angst angst i'm so cool i have tattoos and hate everyone" "fuck off jack" "no" "fuck"
"hey let's go prevent my son from being retarded" "okay" "NO KOLIYAT YOU MUSTN'T DO THIS THING" "you're right!!!" "I LOVE YOU SON" "I LOVE YOU DADDY" "I LOVE YOU GRAMPA" "..." "..." "what"
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PostSubject: Re: Effect and Cause   Effect and Cause Icon_minitimeMon Mar 26, 2012 9:41 pm

CHAPTOUR FIFTEEN:
"hey shepard remember when i said i had to do paperwork" "haha yeah good times" "well i'm done with the paperwork" Shepard flips up the table. "PARTY" "allow me to go home and get changed i look stupid" "okay" Hours pass as Shepard waits patiently for Liara. "crikey shepard she's been gone an awful long time i could have made us kebabs on the barbie by now" "let's go find her" "hey it's me i'm trustworthy as FUCK" "okay" "liara's dead btw" "WHAT" "BECAUSE I'M GOING TO KILL HER BYE" The chick jumps out the window. "LET'S ROLL" "hey it's me liara" "fuck yes" "get into this car and we will drive" "bad idea" "why" "woman can't drive" "oh yeah" "crikey i'll drive if i have to" "good idea zaeed" "crikey i mean it must be just like riding a kangaroo"
"oh hey now we're in space also reference to first adventure" "DO HO HO HO HO" "hey look it's my friend" "fuck off liara's friend" "no" "fuck" "hey look it's the shadow broker" "fuck off shadow broker" "no" "fuck" "also look at me i am a new character design" "fuck off new character design" "no" "fuck" Shepard kills the Shadow Broker. "well liara it looks like you are the shadow broker now" "NOW I AM THE SHADOW BROKER" "oh nice job liara" "thanks; i have the largest network of contacts in the galaxy" "oh sweet use them to figure out why you're the only asari with eyebrows" "i don't understand your language" "sigh hey i have an idea let us fuck" "did you bring a copy of the snurfs on slush" "um no" "i can't get in the mood without the snurfs on slush!!!" "fuck"
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PostSubject: Re: Effect and Cause   Effect and Cause Icon_minitimeMon Mar 26, 2012 9:41 pm

CHAPTOUR SIXTEEN:
"Hey Guess What" "what is it tim" "You Are Going On A Trip To A Dangerous Ship On Which You Will Probably Die" "i'd rather not" "Too Bad I Am The Captain Of This Ship" "fuck off tim" "No" "Fuck"
"hey i'm a geth platform" "WHY ARE YOU WEARING MY ARMOUR" "reaching consensus: we 'thought it would be funny'" "oh okay" "shepard commander let us go" "good idea" "ow that hurt" "geth guy!!!" "Hello" "hello" "Did I Do That" "fuck off collector" "No" "fuck"
"hey you can call me legion let's go rewrite the data of like half of my species" "sounds hilarious" "the consensus would agree" "crikey let's do it" "you said it zaeed"
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PostSubject: Re: Effect and Cause   Effect and Cause Icon_minitimeMon Mar 26, 2012 9:41 pm

CHAPTOUR SEVENTEEN:
"OKAY TIME TO GO DO SOMETHING INCONSEQUENTIAL" "OKAY" "guys wait the collectors-" "I CAN'T HEAR YOU I'M GOING TO GO DO SOMETHING STUPID" "sigh"
"SHEPARD THE CREW HAS BEEN KIDNAPPED" "0/10" "it's true bro!!!" "sigh let us go get them" "OKAY to assault this base there is a vent-" "THANE YOU GET THE VENT" "but the vent requires hacking ski-" "THANE IS AN ASSASSIN HE FUCKING LOVES VENTS" "okay so who will lead the second squad" "zaeed" "crikey shepard everyone in my goddamn command has died but me" "I BELIEVE IN YOU" Zaeed's eyes light up as his puts his hands on his chin. "crikey shepard i'll do my best"
"shepard thane and zaeed are dead" "wat" "everyone else is fine but you're stupid" "fuck off miranda" "no" "fuck" "okay someone needs to put up a biotic barrier" "good idea i choose samara because why not" "but shepard that is actually a good decision" "oh boy" "who will lead the second fire team" "ooh me pick me" "fuck off jacob" "no" "fuck"
"shepard everyone lived" "okay" "HEY IT'S US THE CREW" "oh hmm they'll need a good escort like GRUNT" "good idea" "i don't see how this could go awry" "IT'S TIME TO GO FIGHT AN ABOMINATION" "how do you know it will be an abomination" "i've got a feeling" "a feeling deep inside" "oh yeah" A giant human abomination thing appears. "TEN FOR SHEPARD" "how will we kill it" "shoot it in the eyes" "i doubt the weak point would be s-" Shepard shoots it in the eyes and it falls to the ground. "fuck" "WELP TIME TO GO HOME" "shepard jack died" "i'm okay with this" "fuck off shepard" "no" "fuck" "Hey Good Work Getting The Base For Me" "for you?! haha NOPE" Shepard sets a bomb and runs away. "Fuck My Life"
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PostSubject: Re: Effect and Cause   Effect and Cause Icon_minitimeMon Mar 26, 2012 9:42 pm

Effect and Cause Ru1w84
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PostSubject: Re: Effect and Cause   Effect and Cause Icon_minitimeMon Mar 26, 2012 9:42 pm

CHAPTOUR EIGHTEEN:
"shepard we need your help" "i'm grounded remember" "but the reapers" "fuck off anderson" "no" "fuck" "london is under attack" "wat" "I WAS BORN IN LONDON" "oh hey look outside" "fuck" "Hello How Are You" "We'd Like To Come In For Some Canadian Maple Syrup" "We're Awfully Parched After Having Come All This Way" "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" Shepard runs the fuck away. "TO MARS" "wat" "MARS KAIDAN MARS" They head to Mars. "hey it's me liara" "oh hey liara how's having eyebrows working for you" "um well?" "that's good" "HEY I FOUND PLANS FOR A PROTHEAN DEVICE" "OH SHIT" "Hey Look Over Here It's Me Tim" "fuck off tim" "No" "fuck" "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" James rams a ship into the platform. "DID YOU SEE THAT I HELPED" "fuck off james" "no" "fuck" "LOOK WHAT I CAN DO" Some robot chick crushes Kaidan's face in her bare hands. "fuck now i have to bring james with me" "fuck off shepard" "no" "fuck"
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PostSubject: Re: Effect and Cause   Effect and Cause Icon_minitimeMon Mar 26, 2012 9:42 pm

CHAPTOUR NINETEEN:
"well guys kaidan's dead a-" "but the doctor said he'd make a full recovery" "kaidan is DEAD james" "fuck off shepard" "no" "fuck" "HEY I HAVE AN IDEA LET'S PETITION THE COUNCIL" "THAT IS A SHITTY IDEA AND YOU ARE FUCKING RETARDED FOR HAVING IT" They go to see the council. "so that's why we need hel-" "fuck off shepard" "no" "fuck" "hey bro go to palaven and find the primarch!!!" "good idea"
"the primarch's dead" "fuck" "hey it's me garrus" "GARRUS" "let's go find the new primarch or something" "good idea james go back to the ship" "bu-" "fuck off james" "no" "fuck" "hey it's me i'm a general" "0/10" "not even trolling" "you're the primarch dude" "0/10" "not even trolling" "fuck my life"
"hey it's me wrex" "WREX" "i'll totally help out dude if you cure the genophage" "all right!!!" "NO I REFUSE" "fuck off dalatrass" "no" "fuck" "hey it's me mordin" "MORDIN" "it's time to free some bitches" "fuck yeah bitches" "also i revived zaeed as a joke" "crikey shepard did i do you proud" "yeah zaeed" A single tear streams down Shepard's cheek. "you always do me proud" "crikey"
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PostSubject: Re: Effect and Cause   Effect and Cause Icon_minitimeMon Mar 26, 2012 9:42 pm

CHAPTOUR TWENTY:
"so how are we going to cure this bitch" "we will release the cure into the ATMOSPHERE" "good idea let's go" They go, except Shepard. "hey i have an idea how about you DON'T cure the genophage" "why would i want that" "it'll raise your in-game stats higher than if you didn't" "okay give me a second" Shepard checks the wiki. "WREX DIES IF I DON'T" "who cares" "I CARE" "fag" Shepard runs to help her friends.
"obtw a reaper's here" "fuck" "obtw one of our distraction teams got killed by a thresher maw" "lightbulb" Shepard gives the reaper the thresher maw's ball. "that was mean" "had to be done" The thresher maw kills the reaper for its ball. "obtw the salarians sabotaged the atmosphere" "TIME TO DO HERO THINGS" Mordin rides and elevator. "aw yeah well i am a fucking salarian; not a pussy vegetarian; a scientist sure; the genophage i will cure" Mordin rushes to the console on the uppermost level of the tower. "i am a scientist; not a fucking appliantist; i will save the day; nice things about me they will say" Mordin smiles as his work is completed. "in the end i am the coolest; unlike the dalatrass who is the droolest; my sacrifice will be mourned; with medals i will be adorned" A explosion is triggered behind Mordin, the debris crushing every bone in his body. "all in all; i'm just another brick in the wall" Mordin closes his eyes for the final time, his being drained away. "MORDIN WHYYYYYYYYYY" "oh hey shepard" "MORDIN" "i cloned myself and shit" "crikey" "yeah i'm pretty cool"
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PostSubject: Re: Effect and Cause   Effect and Cause Icon_minitimeMon Mar 26, 2012 9:43 pm

CHAPTOUR TWENTY-ONE:
"hey guys i have an idea why don't you come to the citadel" "good idea" "Hello Shepard How Do You Feel" "fuck off tim" "No" "fuck" "oh hey it's the councilor" Raiden appears. "oh fuck raiden's going for the councilor" "we will save her commander!!!" A small group of salarians runs up to the Salarian councilor single-file and swing her above their heads, carrying her to safety. "hup hup hup hup" "fuck" "aw yeah"
"oh hey it's councilor udina hi councilor udina!!!" "oh hey shepard it's me kaidan" "KAIDAN YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD" "fuck off shepard" "no" "fuck" "HEY IT'S TIME TO BETRAY EVERYONE" Udina moseys over to the "betray everyone" button. "noooooooooo" Shepard shoots Udina in the head. "why do we even have that button" "oh hey shepard can i join your crew" "i don't know we're kind of full" "fuck off shepard" "no" "fuck"
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Jakeyadventure


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Number of posts : 13790
Age : 30
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Effect and Cause Empty
PostSubject: Re: Effect and Cause   Effect and Cause Icon_minitimeMon Mar 26, 2012 9:43 pm

CHAPTOUR TWENTY-TWO:
"hey it's me tali" "fuck off tali" "no" "fuck" "i actually have a personality now!!!" "oh boy" "oh hey it's legion" "sup shepard commander" "sup" "mind getting this platform out of this shit bro" "no problem bro" "hey bro now you get to go inside the geth consensus" "OH FUCK" "yo dawg these are our memories or some shit bro" "wow" "hey quarians are pretty gay aren't they" "so gay" "the gayest" "they couldn't be gayer" "i'm convinced"
"commander shepard!!! you just defeated a reaper on rannoch what are you going to do now!!!" "kill all the quarians!!!" "NO DON'T" "why" "YOUR IN-GAME STATS WILL SUFFER" "fuck" "we're all working together and shit" "i have to go now" Legion dies. "WELP"
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