EASTER SPECIAL AND SHIT:
"OH FUCK LOOK AT ALL THESE EGGS" "OH SHIT" "OMLETTE TIME" "omlette du fromage" "fuck yeah" "i'll cook the bacon!!!" "if you make it too crispy again swear to god" "too-crispy bacon?!" "that is not a thing that exists" "omlette du fromage" "you said it taylor"
"oh man these omlettes are fucking amazing" "omlette du fromage" "life is okay" "it's a 'pretty okay' on the okay scale" "i agree" "omlette du fromage" "today was the best day"
"oh god what's that smell" "..." "..." "i don't think we found all the eggs" "fuck my life" "omlette du fromage"
"well um" "i think we got them all" "omlette du fromage" "but now our home is uninhabitable" "damn you, the easter bunny" "damn you"
A year passes. On the Saturday before Easter, Jakey and Eif put up bear traps to track the Easter Bunny. "guys these are bear traps" "yeah so" "they trap BEARS not easter bunnies" "..." "..." "fuck" Jakey and Eif rush to the local WAL*MART. "fuck they're closed" "let's try target" "NO I WILL NEVER BETRAY MY BELOVED WAL*MART" "eif" Jakey puts his hands on Eif's shoulders. "we have to do this, for our old house" Fond memories of living in the old house flood Eif's mind. "why is life so hard" Eif begins crying on Jakey's shoulders. "there there everything will be okay"
The two boldly step into Target. "i feel awful now" "it's okay, WAL*MART will understand" "i hope you're right" The two head for the hunting department. "FUCK" "what" "they're fresh out of easter bunny traps" "FUCK" "all this for nothing" Eif slumps to the ground and pounds his fist into the floor. The floor slides open, revealing a hidden passageway. "OH FUCK" Jakey grabs a torch from its wallsconce and the two proceed into the network of caverns below Target. "look!!! easter bunny traps!!!" Eif rushes over to the wall and grabs an Easter Bunny trap. He turns around, catching his foot on a pressure plate. The wall slides into the floor, causing a giant boulder to careen down the halls. "OH FUCK RUN" The two run. "jakey i'm not going to make it" "0/10" Eif chucks the Easter Bunny trap to Jakey before collapsing onto the floor. "fuck my life" Jakey rushes up the ladder, tossing the torch on the floor. "eif your sacrifice won't be in vain" A single tear streams down Jakey's cheek as he heads out of Target with a newfound resolve.
Jakey wakes up the following morning and heads to the traps, finding the Easter Bunny caught in one. "well well well" Jakey smirks. "not so happy now, eh, mistour bunny" The Easter Bunny throws one of his eggs at Jakey's face. Jakey wipes egg yolk off his face. "now, we can do this the easy way" Jakey picks up a bear trap. "or the hard way" Jakey clamps the bear trap onto the Easter Bunny's left arm, causing it to drop its basket of eggs. Jakey picks up several eggs, and chucks them at the Easter Bunny. The Easter Bunny starts trying to gnaw its own leg off. Jakey smirks and grabs another bear trap. "well mistour bunny it looks like we got off on the wrong... foot" Jakey clamps the bear trap onto the Easter Bunny's other foot. "..." "..." "um... i don't really know where to go from here" "omlette du fromage" "good idea taylor" The eight friends head off to make omlettes. Then A HARLEQUIN FOETUS KNIGHT
Taylor leaps at the harlequin foetus knight, slicing him in half. Bran runs towards the harlequin foetus knight's head, sword grinding against the ground. Bran releases his grip on the sword, sending it flying at the harlequin foetus knight, decapitating it. Jakey and Eif play strip poker. The harlequin foetus knight laughs, undamaged. "oh man it's gonna take some heavy firepower to take this guy on" Adrian runs to the other side of the room, and gets struck by a bolt of proud. Anal shoots from Mercutio's hands at the harlequin foetus knight, destroying it instantly. "phyllyp stop attention-seeking" "but guys i didn't even do anything" "old"