HANUKKAH SPECIAL AND SHIT:
"deck the halls with bows of holly oh shit yeah" "so like let me get this straight we decorate a large tree" "a large hanukkah tree" "right then we pin our socks and sandals to the wall" "our hanukkah socks and sandals" "okay then a rolly-polly red guy gives us presents" "yeah" "..." "..." "sounds good" "ASADGJFAGSWYIPDSJLN" Eif falls to the floor, all of the Hanukkah lights wrapped around him. "FUCK THIS I PUT THESE IN HERE IN A CLUMP NOT A KNOT" "how do they even get knotted anyway they weren't knotted when we put them in there and we haven't touched them since last hanukkah" "FUCKING HARLEQUIN FOETUS GREMLINS" "here let me help you" "LJSAGDLKHSLKDH" Eif passes out from lack of oxygen. "TONY HELP" "IT'S OKAY I KNOW MOUTH TO MOUTH" "hurry!!!" Tony looks around nervously. "WE DON'T HAVE MUCH TIME HERE" "b-but" "THIS ISN'T A FUCKING HOLIDAY IN FUCKING GREENLAND TONY" "i can't find my spray thing that makes my breath smell not-bad!!!" "oh dear" "well it was nice knowing him" "i'll make the funeral arrangements" "i'll call the taxidermist" Tony looks at the statues of Eifs I through XXIV nostalgically. "sigh" "hello" "hello" "eif's dead again" "oh" "yeah" "so what's for dinner" "do you have to ask" Bran smiles and drags Eif's body to the kitchen. "michelle cook for us" "yeah we're hungry" "oh another eif to cook i was gonna make turchicduhbaconamckenkey" "well now you can make eiturchicduhbaconamckenkeyf" "my favourite!!!" "hey jakey i got you a cornea scraper" "what will i ever use this for" "scraping corneas" "... why didn't i think of that" "oh hey eif" "hey guys" "we thought you were dead we are canibalising your corpse right now" "yeah well if the witch knew the true meaning of sacrifice she might have interpreted the deep magic a little differently for she would know that if a willing victim who had committed no treachery died in a traitors stead the stone table would crack and death itself would begin to unwind" "oh i see" "TAYLOR OPEN YOUR PRESENT" Taylor opens his present to reveal A HARLEQUIN FOETUS KNIGHT
Taylor leaps at the harlequin foetus knight, slicing him in half. Bran runs towards the harlequin foetus knight's head, sword grinding against the ground. Bran releases his grip on the sword, sending it flying at the harlequin foetus knight, decapitating it. Jakey and Eif play strip poker. The harlequin foetus knight laughs, undamaged. "oh man it's gonna take some heavy firepower to take this guy on" Adrian runs to the other side of the room, and gets struck by a bolt of proud. Anal shoots from Mercutio's hands at the harlequin foetus knight, destroying it instantly. "phyllyp stop attention-seeking" "but guys i didn't even do anything" "old"