WHAT THE FUCK SERIOUSLY
Let's go through this [notable] person by [notable] person
99: Steven Tyler
Er... well... I like his voice and all, but just what are we rating this on?
98: Stevie Nicks
She can't sing. At all. Ever.
97: Joe Cocker
Okay, this has to be a joke.
76: Steve Perry
I'd have put him closer to the top 20. Also, what the fuck is with his cheeks in that picture? Seriously.
75: Iggy Pop
PUT ON A FUCKING SHIRT
66: Thom Yorke
I do think Thom is one of the 100 best singers. When he decides to sing slower songs, such as Fake Plastic Trees and Gagging Order, his voice is perfectly toned to get the most out of it. When he sings faster rock songs, such as 2+2=5 and The Bends, his voice is toned very well, also. I'd definitely throw him in the top 25.
64: Axl Rose
... WHAT. Axl, as a singer, is "good" at best. Sure, he can belt out songs like Shackler's Revenge and Welcome to the Jungle all fucking day, but songs like Patience and November Rain in no way stack up to, say, Don't Stop Believin' and High and Dry. Putting Axl above Thom or Steve is a joke.
61: Roger Daltrey
Roger can sing. He just chooses not to. Seriously, if he put half the effort into any given The Who song as he put into Love Reign O'er Me, The Who would be the best band ever. Sadly, he just chooses to halfass it. Seriously, if he can sing Love Reign O'er Me, there's no excuse why nearly everything else sounds awful in comparison.
58: Christina Agulera
... Christina Agulera, better than Roger, Thom and Steve. Nice joke.
48: Buddy Holly
47: Jim Morrison
Here's another guy I'd put in the top 25.
45: Kurt Cobain
You all know I love Kurty, but seriously. Putting him above Steve Perry, Thom Yorke, Jim Morrison and Roger Daltrey is just retarded. I love his voice and all, but Jesus. In an objective list, he shouldn't be anywhere near the top 50.
38: Elton John
... seriously? I'd have bet he'd be in the top five, any day.
36: Bruce Springsteen
Now they're just being retarded. There's no way he's better than Elton John, or any of the other guys I've listed as "super-great".
I love Bono, but fuck. He doesn't deserve to be anywhere near 32, or maybe even 72.
28: Janis Joplin
I thought we were past the people who can't sing?
25: Michael Jackson
Another I'd figured for the top five.
23: David Bowie
This is about where I would have thrown him.
21: Johnny Cash
Figured for the top ten.
19: Bob Marley
18: Freddie Mercury
... I figured him for the winner. Like, best singer ever. Seriously, Freddie Mercury should be at least top three.
17: Tina Turner
16: Mick Jagger
COME ON. MICK JAGGER IS NOT AS GOOD AS FREDDIE. NOT EVEN CLOSE.
15: Robert Plant
Figured for top five.
11: Paul McCartney
... he was my second choice for the top spot. Who the fuck is writing this?
9: Stevie Wonder
I wouldn't have thrown him in the top ten, but top twenty-five, sure.
7: Bob Dylan
... no words. Just, no words.
5: John Lennon
After Macca got thrown out of the top ten, I figured Lennon for the winner. Fuck this.
3: Elvis Presley
I guess I should have expected this, but I wouldn't have put him anywhere near the top 30.
1: Aretha Franklin
Fuck this. I'm going home.