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HEY MISTER CAN WE HAVE OUR BALL BACK

ADVENTURE

HEY MISTER CAN WE HAVE OUR BALL BACK
 
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 Teh Forum RPG [Reboot] VII

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Jakeyadventure
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PostSubject: Teh Forum RPG [Reboot] VII   Sat Sep 24, 2011 3:48 pm

CHAPTOUR ONE:
"bitches to my left bitches to my right i sure do love my bitches all day and every night" Jakey wakes up. "aw" "what" "i had the bitches dream again" "oh i hate that dream" "stop being female for once in your life" "um i'll try" Michelle concentrates will all her might. "nope nothing" "oh well" "maybe if i keep trying!!!" "you go do that" Jakey heads downstairs to get a snack and collapses on the kitchen table. Michelle continues concentrating and accidentally a portal to the eighth dimension. Oops. "oh well maybe if i go to sleep it'll go away" Michelle goes to sleep, while the entire nation of Alabama gets sucked into the eighth dimension. "OH MAN THAT WAS A GREAT SLEEP" "old" "wait where are we" "hello" "hello" "bran what are you doing here" "... i don't know" "gee" "oh yeah last night i accidentally a portal to the eighth dimension i must have forgotten" "oh it happens to the best of us" Suddently, A HARLEQUIN FOETUS CAVALIER
Bran leaps into the air and dives toward the harlequin foetus cavalier, skewering it. Bran whips his sword forward suddenly, sending the halrequin foetus cavalier hurtling towards Eif, who roundhouse kicks it into the air. Jakey leaps into the air, charges his sword with electricity and stabs into the harlequin foetus cavalier. Jakey slams the harlequin foetus cavalier into the ground, where Tony crushes it with a giant boulder. Taylor plays solitaire. "oh shit this guy isn't even taking any damage and shit" "oh well this is awkward" Jakey stumbles backwards and falls on a vein of pure post-avant jazzcore. Post-avant jazzcore shoots from Jakey's fingertips into the harlequin foetus cavalier's very soul, exploding it from within. "jakey stop attention-seeking" "but but i didn't even" "butthurt"
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PostSubject: Re: Teh Forum RPG [Reboot] VII   Sat Sep 24, 2011 3:48 pm

CHAPTOUR TWO:
"hey i'm gonna go get a MOUNTAIN DEW CODE ORANGE would anyone like anything" "get me some BACON" "okay" Jakey heads to the fridge and grabs the BACON and a MOUNTAIN DEW CODE ORANGE, then heads back. "here's your BACON" "um jakey this BACON has green shit growing on it" "so" "good point" Eif stuffs his face with all the BACON. "oh man that was good" The credits of Two and a Half Men roll. "man that was a good show" "totally" "hey can you drive me to the hospital" "NO U" "NO ME" "sigh" Bran drives Eif to the hospital. "he's not gonna make it" "old" "come closer" Bran comes closer. "i need i need" "what do you need" "check 'em" "..." "BECAUSE I JUST GOT DOUBLES" "..." "..." "those aren't doubles" "wh-what" "they're quads" "FUCK" "it's okay it happens to us all" "no you don't understand i-" Eif quiety closes his eyes and grabs the scalpel. "i have failed" Eif commits seppuku with the scalpel, when suddenly A HARLEQUIN FOETUS CAVALIER
Bran leaps into the air and dives toward the harlequin foetus cavalier, skewering it. Bran whips his sword forward suddenly, sending the halrequin foetus cavalier hurtling towards Eif, who roundhouse kicks it into the air. Jakey leaps into the air, charges his sword with electricity and stabs into the harlequin foetus cavalier. Jakey slams the harlequin foetus cavalier into the ground, where Tony crushes it with a giant boulder. Taylor plays solitaire. "oh shit this guy isn't even taking any damage and shit" "oh well this is awkward" Bran stumbles backwards and falls on a vein of pure progressive dreamfunk. Progressive dreamfunk shoots from Bran's fingertips into the harlequin foetus cavalier's very soul, exploding it from within. "bran stop attention-seeking" "but but i didn't even" "butthurt"
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Jakeyadventure
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PostSubject: Re: Teh Forum RPG [Reboot] VII   Sat Sep 24, 2011 3:48 pm

CHAPTOUR THREE:
"oh god this thing is huge how many floors left" "fifty" "wat" "it's a skyscraper, eif" "this is diculous!!!" "old" "we should form" Eif grimaces. "a union" "GASP" "GASP" "GASP" "NO YOU IDIOT" "you sound mad" "UNIONISED LABOUR IS KILLING OUR ECONOMY YOU IDIOT" "NO U" "NO ME" Eif gasps, defeated in debate for the first time. Eif walks to the edge of the incomplete building. "jakey... good job" Eif leaps off the building, a single tear streaming down his face. "well that solves that" Eif hits the ground with a sickening crack. Every bone in his body crumbles from the impact of falling fifty stories. "so time for our break" "we're not in a union, we don't get breaks" "..." "..." "fuck" Suddenly, A HARLEQUIN FOETUS CAVALIER
Bran leaps into the air and dives toward the harlequin foetus cavalier, skewering it. Bran whips his sword forward suddenly, sending the halrequin foetus cavalier hurtling towards Eif, who roundhouse kicks it into the air. Jakey leaps into the air, charges his sword with electricity and stabs into the harlequin foetus cavalier. Jakey slams the harlequin foetus cavalier into the ground, where Tony crushes it with a giant boulder. Taylor plays solitaire. "oh shit this guy isn't even taking any damage and shit" "oh well this is awkward" Taylor stumbles backwards and falls on a vein of pure glam-fusion. Glam-fusion shoots from Taylor's fingertips into the harlequin foetus cavalier's very soul, exploding it from within. "taylor stop attention-seeking" "but but i didn't even" "butthurt"
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PostSubject: Re: Teh Forum RPG [Reboot] VII   Sat Sep 24, 2011 3:48 pm

CHAPTOUR FOUR:
"hey i have a great idea let's form a band!!!" "great idea!!!" "i call cowbell" "fuck" "i get um triangle" "i'll be tambourine" "i'll choose panjo" "er i got electric guitar" "HAHA FAG" "stop it come on" They gather their instruments and head to Jakey's attic to practice. "okay jakey you start us off" "all right" Jakey plays an Amaj8 chord in the key of Dmin17 on his cowbell. "OH GOD MY EARS" "JAKEY YOU SUCK YOU'RE OUT OF THE BAND" "IT'S MY FUCKING ATTIC" "FINE WE'LL PRACTICE SOMEWHERE ELSE" "YOU HAVE NOWHERE ELSE" "..." "..." "shit he's right" "well this is awkward" "hey let's go watch cartoons" "i think spongebob is on!!!" "sweet" Then A HARLEQUIN FOETUS CAVALIER
Bran leaps into the air and dives toward the harlequin foetus cavalier, skewering it. Bran whips his sword forward suddenly, sending the halrequin foetus cavalier hurtling towards Eif, who roundhouse kicks it into the air. Jakey leaps into the air, charges his sword with electricity and stabs into the harlequin foetus cavalier. Jakey slams the harlequin foetus cavalier into the ground, where Tony crushes it with a giant boulder. Taylor plays solitaire. "oh shit this guy isn't even taking any damage and shit" "oh well this is awkward" Eif stumbles backwards and falls on a vein of pure j-industrial metal. J-industrial metal shoots from Eif's fingertips into the harlequin foetus cavalier's very soul, exploding it from within. "eif stop attention-seeking" "but but i didn't even" "butthurt"
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PostSubject: Re: Teh Forum RPG [Reboot] VII   Sat Sep 24, 2011 3:49 pm

CHAPTOUR FIVE:
"my boogieboard tricks are the sweetest in the land" "TAKE THAT BACK" Eif steps up with his boogieboard. "I HAVE THE SWEETEST BOOGIEBOARD TRICKS" "you sound rather angry" "NO U" "NO ME" "them's fightin' words!!!" "old" Bran charges at Eif with his boogieboard, smacking him clean upside the head. "ow" Eif slides between Bran's legs and jams his boogieboard into Bran's back. "ouch" "ENOUGH" Tony grabs Taylor's boogie board and claps Eif and Bran's heads together between the boogieboards. "ow" "ow" Tony tosses Taylor back his boogieboard. "it is a well-known fact that MY boogieboard tricks are the sweetest" Eif and Bran look at Tony and laugh. "tony that is just diculous we all know MY boogieboard tricks are the sweetest" "fuck off jakey" "okay i'll be over here, boogie...-ing on my... boogieboard" Jakey performs some sweet boogieboard tricks while the other four argue about their boogieboard tricks. "wow those tricks are pretty sweet" "thanks" "wanna be on alabama's next top boogieboard... guy" "do i ever!!!" "sign here" Jakey signs and recieves his signing bonus of A HARLEQUIN FOETUS CAVALIER
Bran leaps into the air and dives toward the harlequin foetus cavalier, skewering it. Bran whips his sword forward suddenly, sending the halrequin foetus cavalier hurtling towards Eif, who roundhouse kicks it into the air. Jakey leaps into the air, charges his sword with electricity and stabs into the harlequin foetus cavalier. Jakey slams the harlequin foetus cavalier into the ground, where Tony crushes it with a giant boulder. Taylor plays solitaire. "oh shit this guy isn't even taking any damage and shit" "oh well this is awkward" Tony stumbles backwards and falls on a vein of pure pre-sludgecore jazz-fusion. Pre-sludgecore jazz-fusion shoots from Tony's fingertips into the harlequin foetus cavalier's very soul, exploding it from within. "tony stop attention-seeking" "but but i didn't even" "butthurt"
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PostSubject: Re: Teh Forum RPG [Reboot] VII   Sat Sep 24, 2011 3:49 pm

CHAPTOUR SIX:
"BRO I CAN'T DO THIS" "calm down" "I AM CALM I JUST CAN'T DO THIS" "i have sealed the exits" "FUCK" Jakey runs around the room in panic while Eif flips through his magazine. "i don't see why you're so upset" "HELLO WE ARE AT A WEDDING" "but it's not like you're getting married" "BUT I HAVE THE HARDEST JOB" "wha-why" "i have to not only give a speech, but also not lose the ring for like an hour!!!" "cry more" "i do believe i shall!!!" Jakey begins sobbing in his hands while the wedding march plays. "OH SHIT" Jakey grabs his flowers and runs to the back of the church. Bran marches down the aisle in his beautiful white dress as Jakey and the other bridesmaids stand in respect, single tears streaming down their faces. "he's so beautiful" Jakey begins sobbing on Michelle's shoulder. Michelle pats Jakey on the back lightly. Tony takes out the Quran. "DO YOU SOLEMNLY SWEAR TO TELL THE WHOLE TRUTH AND NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH SO HELP YOU GOD" "sure" "i don't see why not" "so like do you take eachother in holy matrimony and shit" "okay" "i don't mind" "NOW FOR THE RINGS" Jakey chucks his ring to Bran, who puts it on Eif's finger. Taylor chucks his ring to Eif, who puts it on Bran's finger. "now you're like married and shit" "gee" "hey am i on" Jakey rushes the podium. "there are so many people i'd like to thank" "such as" "..." "..." "i got nothin'" "TIME TO CUT THE MOTHERFUCKING CAKE, BITCHES" Eif and Bran hold the cake slicer and CUT THE SHIT OUT OF THAT CAKE, when suddenly A HARLEQUIN FOETUS CAVALIER
Bran leaps into the air and dives toward the harlequin foetus cavalier, skewering it. Bran whips his sword forward suddenly, sending the halrequin foetus cavalier hurtling towards Eif, who roundhouse kicks it into the air. Jakey leaps into the air, charges his sword with electricity and stabs into the harlequin foetus cavalier. Jakey slams the harlequin foetus cavalier into the ground, where Tony crushes it with a giant boulder. Taylor plays solitaire. "oh shit this guy isn't even taking any damage and shit" "oh well this is awkward" Luigi stumbles backwards and falls on a vein of pure progressive metalcore. Progressive metalcore shoots from Luigi's fingertips into the harlequin foetus cavalier's very soul, exploding it from within. "luigi stop attention-seeking" "but but i didn't even" "butthurt"
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Jakeyadventure
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PostSubject: Re: Teh Forum RPG [Reboot] VII   Sat Sep 24, 2011 3:49 pm

CHAPTOUR SEVEN:
"rub-a-motherfucking-dub bitches" Jakey grabs his rubber ducky and puts the bubbly bath into the tub. "aw shit yeah" Jakey soaks into his new bubbly bath and relaxes. "aw yeah this is the motherfucking life" Eif barges in. "WHAT THE FUCK" "i need to expell urine" "but you can't just interrupt my bubbly bath!!!" "it's okay i'm a professional" "then let me see your badge" Eif shows Jakey his "Professional Bubbly Bath Interrupter" badge. "oh everything seems to be in order, carry on" Jakey gets out his submarine. "aw yeah" "oh shit can i play" "sure" Eif grabs the barge and moves it around the tub. "haha!!! you've activated my 'TORPEDO' trap card!!!" "shit" Jakey slams his card down on the rim of the tub and blows up the barge. "dammit" Michelle walks in. "hello" "hello" "hello" "michelle may i see your badge" "um" Michelle takes off running. Eif runs after her, and Jakey jumps out of the tub to chase her, as well. The chase leads through a shipyard, construction site and gay bar, right into the jaws of a HARLEQUIN FOETUS CAVALIER
Bran leaps into the air and dives toward the harlequin foetus cavalier, skewering it. Bran whips his sword forward suddenly, sending the halrequin foetus cavalier hurtling towards Eif, who roundhouse kicks it into the air. Jakey leaps into the air, charges his sword with electricity and stabs into the harlequin foetus cavalier. Jakey slams the harlequin foetus cavalier into the ground, where Tony crushes it with a giant boulder. Taylor plays solitaire. "oh shit this guy isn't even taking any damage and shit" "oh well this is awkward" Obama stumbles backwards and falls on a vein of pure post-glamcore-fusion. Post-glamcore-fusion shoots from Obama's fingertips into the harlequin foetus cavalier's very soul, exploding it from within. "obama stop attention-seeking" "but but i didn't even" "butthurt"
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PostSubject: Re: Teh Forum RPG [Reboot] VII   Sat Sep 24, 2011 3:49 pm

CHAPTOUR EIGHT:
"yarr english privateer on the starboard bow" "that's port" "..." "..." "no i'm pretty sure it's starboard" Jakey and Bran consult their shippy pamphlets. "oh it is starboard" "SEE" "whatever" "anyway as i was saying yarr english privateer on the starboard bow" "shiver me timbers jakey!!!" "oh look it's dread pirate captain frank" "not dread pirate captain frank!!!" "maybe if we ignore him he'll go away" Dread Pirate Captain Frank boards the ship. "hello" "..." "..." "..." "i said hello" "..." "..." "..." "fuck you guys" Dread Pirate Captain Frank leaves, barely able to contain his tears. "hooray!!!" "that was super-manly of us" "do girls like super-manly guys" "only one way to find out" Eif crashes the ship in port. "HEY LADIES WE MADE DREAD PIRATE CAPTAIN FRANK RUN AWAY CRYING" "wow you are so super-manly" "sure" "i don't like that in men" The ladies walk off. "..." "..." "okay new plan" "HEY LADIES WE RAN AWAY FROM DREAD PIRATE CAPTAIN FRANK, CRYING" The ladies' clothes fall off onto a HARLEQUIN FOETUS CAVALIER
Bran leaps into the air and dives toward the harlequin foetus cavalier, skewering it. Bran whips his sword forward suddenly, sending the halrequin foetus cavalier hurtling towards Eif, who roundhouse kicks it into the air. Jakey leaps into the air, charges his sword with electricity and stabs into the harlequin foetus cavalier. Jakey slams the harlequin foetus cavalier into the ground, where Tony crushes it with a giant boulder. Taylor plays solitaire. "oh shit this guy isn't even taking any damage and shit" "oh well this is awkward" Bush stumbles backwards and falls on a vein of pure pre-funkcore. Pre-funkcore shoots from Bush's fingertips into the harlequin foetus cavalier's very soul, exploding it from within. "bush stop attention-seeking" "but but i didn't even" "butthurt"
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PostSubject: Re: Teh Forum RPG [Reboot] VII   Sat Sep 24, 2011 3:49 pm

CHAPTOUR NINE:
"i really like this resturant jakey" "thanks" "HEY YOU DON'T OWN THIS PLACE" Eif storms out of the kitchen. "wat" "if anything i should be saying thanks!!!" "can we start over" "okay" "i really like this resturant eif" "thanks" Eif goes back to the kitchen. "jakey i love you" "i love you too, michelle who is my sister" "it is good that we love eachother; it is a healthy thing for families to do" "yes ever since our parents died we have stuck together" "yes that is also good as family can dampen a loss through moral support" "that is true" "yes" Jakey sips from his glass of arsenic. "well now is a good time to leave the resturant as we have finished our food" "that is true" "being male i will pick up the cheque" "being female i will allow this without complaint" Bran walks up. "did you enjoy your meal" "yes" "sure" "that will be $100000000000000000000000" "here is $100000000000000000000000" "WHAT THE FUCK YOU DIDN'T GIVE ME A TIP I EXPECT YOU TO GIVE ME ADDITIONAL MONEY TO ADD TO THE MONEY WHICH I MAKE FROM DOING MY JOB WHICH IS PAID BY MY EMPLOYER" "being a foreigner, i find this concept diculous" "GET OUT" They go out to the mean streets of Alabama and find A HARLEQUIN FOETUS CAVALIER
Bran leaps into the air and dives toward the harlequin foetus cavalier, skewering it. Bran whips his sword forward suddenly, sending the halrequin foetus cavalier hurtling towards Eif, who roundhouse kicks it into the air. Jakey leaps into the air, charges his sword with electricity and stabs into the harlequin foetus cavalier. Jakey slams the harlequin foetus cavalier into the ground, where Tony crushes it with a giant boulder. Taylor plays solitaire. "oh shit this guy isn't even taking any damage and shit" "oh well this is awkward" Sheriff Antony stumbles backwards and falls on a vein of pure blues. Blues shoots from Sheriff Antony's fingertips into the harlequin foetus cavalier's very soul, exploding it from within. "sheriff antony stop attention-seeking" "but but i didn't even" "butthurt"
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PostSubject: Re: Teh Forum RPG [Reboot] VII   Sat Sep 24, 2011 3:50 pm

CHAPTOUR TEN:
The five walk into a factory. "hey kids we got a shipment of legendary swords but we have no use for legendary swords here have some legendary swords" "sweet these'll look orgasmic next to my karate" "and my tae kwon do" "FOR THE LAST FUCKING TIME YOUR FUCKING TAE KWON DO AREN'T FUCKING GOING ANY-FUCKING-WHERE NEAR MY FUCKING KARATE, FUCKFACE" "touchy" The six march off aimlessly and find a giant... thing. "taylor use your grass powers!!!" "i have wind powers" "wat" "why are you so useless taylor" The giant... thing eats the five. "well this sucks" "hey i have an idea let's BURN the... thing" "butthurt" "butthurt" "THAT WON'T WORK YOU RETARD" "but guys fire is super effective to... thi-" "butthurt" "i have an idea let's ELECTRICITY the... thing" "that's brilliant!!!" "but guys fire" "stop being butthurt because electricity is super effective against... things" The five electricity their way out of the giant... thing. "it sure is cold in the vacuum of space" "old" "butthurt" "old" The five float around aimlessly, when someone changes the HEY MISTER CAN WE HAVE OUR BALL BACK The five are emptied into the trash can and climb their way out. Then A HARLEQUIN FOETUS CAVALIER
Bran leaps into the air and dives toward the harlequin foetus cavalier, skewering it. Bran whips his sword forward suddenly, sending the halrequin foetus cavalier hurtling towards Eif, who roundhouse kicks it into the air. Jakey leaps into the air, charges his sword with electricity and stabs into the harlequin foetus cavalier. Jakey slams the harlequin foetus cavalier into the ground, where Tony crushes it with a giant boulder. Taylor plays solitaire. "oh shit this guy isn't even taking any damage and shit" "oh well this is awkward" Phyllyp stumbles backwards and falls on a vein of pure progessive traingrunge. Progressive traingrunge shoots from Phyllyp's fingertips into the harlequin foetus cavalier's very soul, exploding it from within. "phyllyp stop attention-seeking" "but but i didn't even" "butthurt"
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PostSubject: Re: Teh Forum RPG [Reboot] VII   Sat Sep 24, 2011 3:50 pm

CHAPTOUR ELEVEN:
The five guys rush ahead to find a man. "oh guys it's hey! arnold!!!" "who" "just this guy" "hello jakey" "hey! arnold" "do you guys know where RANDOM ERECTION SYNDROME is" "we're going to avenge it" "that doesn't answer my question" "i don't even know who you are!!!" "oh well this is awkward" "butthurt" "well goodbye, friends" "i don't like your tone mistour" "old" Jakey draws his sword. hey! arnold laughs and draws his sword as well.
hey! arnold lunges towards Jakey with his sword outstretched, lopping his head clean off. Bran fires some swords at hey! arnold, but hey! arnold ducks under them, and slides on his back towards Bran, chopping his feet off. Bran falls backward, allowing hey! arnold to stab him in the stomach and tear his weapon straight through Bran's head. hey! arnold then casually strolls over to Tony, and gives him the power of selling things to buy food for him. hey! arnold then shoots his hookshot at a nearby building and rappels up. hey! arnold looks back at Bran and Jakey's lifeless bodies, a single tear streaming down his cheek. Then Michelle's like "take me home".
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PostSubject: Re: Teh Forum RPG [Reboot] VII   Sat Sep 24, 2011 3:50 pm

CHAPTOUR TWELVE:
"hey look it's our ball!!!" Tony grabs the ball. "okay we got what we came for let's go home!!!" "okay" "sounds good" The five go home.
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PostSubject: Re: Teh Forum RPG [Reboot] VII   Sat Sep 24, 2011 3:50 pm

CHAPTOUR THIRTEEN:
Tony and the gang return home with the ball. "mother i" "save it the look on your face is enough" Tony and his mother embrace. A single tear streams down Tony's face, then lands on his mother's face and begins the streaming process anew. Tony and his mother engage in a passionate kiss and Tony carries his mother to bed for some HOT LOVIN TONIGHT. Michelle runs up to Jakey and the two embrace. "eeewww" "get a room you two" "NO U" "NO ME"
"lo all" Stevman does a kneeslide and plays a powerchord. "THAT'S OUR STEVMAN" Then Michelle's like "take me home". THE END.
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