Teh Forum RPG [Reboot] IV: A Choose-Your-Own Adventure

engage in an anglo-saxon role-play to the death with the psyducks

he sits down and reevaluates his life decisions

Tells the Psyducks to move or else... this gun...

sets up a ramp and skillfully skateboards over the psyducks

CHAPTOUR SIX:
Adam Lambert decides he doesn't have time for this. Adam Lambert sets up a makeshift ramp, and skateboards over the Psyducks! Adam Lambert takes out his fishing rod and attempts to find a water-type Pokemon. Adam Lambert sits for hours, but finally finds a Megakotexar! Adam Lambert chucks a Pokeball at Megakotexar, then skillfully turns away and looks uninterested! Megakotexar is caught! Adam Lambert runs back to Petalburg, but Kris Allen is there! "hello" "hello" Kris Allen sends out Blaggitygook! Adam Lambert sends out Megakotexar! Megakotexar uses its mighty ice beam to freeze Blaggitygook in place! Adam Lambert rams through the Psyducks, and has Megakotexar use surf! The fire is taken out, but the water sweeps away Phyllyp Lambert! Adam Lambert gasps, a single tear streaming down his cheek.
"adam lambert don't go" "but geraldine lambert i must find my brothour" Adam Lambert follows the wave that swept away his brothour, but comes across a small river! Adam Lambert doesn't have enough gym badges to use surf to cross it, however.
WHAT DOES ADAM LAMBERT DO

nothing

carefully creates a RPGboot Abridged series

it's funny 'cos

it is too late for phyllyp lambert - and he would have wanted adam lambert to pursue his dream of becoming the greatest trainer of them all. therefore adam lambert should accept his loss and hold a funeral for phyllyp lambert in his own town, invite family, friends and ainsley harriott in tribute to his brother who brightened and made such a big impact on all their lives for such a long time

phyllyp lambert, we hardly knew ye

R.I.P.

oh and then he should shave off his eyebrows

CHAPTOUR SEVEN:
Adam Lambert runs back through town, but realises that Phyllyp Lambert is most likely dead. Phyllyp Lambert wouldn't want Adam Lambert to give up on his dream of becoming the very best like no one ever was for a lost cause. The next morning, Adam Lambert holds a funeral for his departed brother, inviting Geraldine Lambert, Trevor Lambert, Norman Lambert, Phyllyp Lambert, Montgomery Lambert, Liam Lambert, Noel Lambert, Brian Lambert, Cleetus Lambert, Tobias Lambert, Hans Lambert, Jennifer Lambert, George Lambert, Paul Lambert, John Lambert, Ringo Lambert, Steve Lambert, Randy Lambert, Dustbin Lambert, Amanda Lambert, Adam Lambert, Dave Lambert, Neil Lambert, Anthony Lambert, Joey Lambert, Hokage Lambert, Kurt Lambert, Thomas Lambert, Matthew Lambert, Julian Lambert, Julia Lambert, Albert Lambert, Jack Lambert, Meg Lambert, Julia Lambert, Henry Lambert, Jessica Lambert, Ernie Lambert, Bert Lambert, Dante Lambert, Carl Lambert, Emilo Lambert, Douglas Lambert, Gary Lambert, Jimi Lambert, Andy Lambert, Gerard Lambert, James Lambert, Frank Lambert, Fraibel Lambert, Abraham Lambert, Ray Lambert, Lilly Lambert, Veronica Lambert, Manny Lambert, Rose Lambert, Charlie Lambert, Alan Lambert, Barney Lambert, Ted Lambert, Christopher Lambert, Lee Lambert, Casey Lambert, Bill Lambert, Jeffrey Lambert, Emily Lambert, Dustin Lambert, Chuck Lambert, Bentley Lambert, Cale Lambert, Murray Lambert and Captain Lambert. Adam Lambert says a few words, including but not limited to "shoe", "thailors", "adventure" and "love", and starts a toast. Adam Lambert then gears up and takes Blarshbabble and Megakotexar with him on his new journey to be the very best, like no one ever was.
END OF EPISODE ONE
STILL CHAPTOUR SEVEN, BUT A DIFFERENT EPISODE:
Adam Lambert heads through the woods to get to the first gym, when some guy totally wrecks his shop throws him in the path of a criminal! The guy expects Adam Lambert to defend him! Adam Lambert thinks this is very rude.
WHAT DOES ADAM LAMBERT DO

perplexes him with a riddle while blarshblabble steals all his belongings

CHAPTOUR EIGHT:
Adam Lambert opens up the criminal, and jumps inside him. Adam Lambert then walks around inside this man fighting crime as "Adam Lambert Man". Adam Lambert flies around, but is stopped by the local police for not having enough badges to use fly! Adam Lambert crashes to earth with a sickening crack. Everybone in his body lies, broken. A single tear streams down his cheek. "i'm sorry, harold lambert" The world goes dark.
Adam Lambert grabs the criminal and uses him as a human shield, which confuses the criminal's Blaggitygook. Blaggitygook stares in confusion, a single tear streaming down his cheek. Adam Lambert smirks, and chucks the criminal at Margaret Lambert. The rude man thanks Adam Lambert and gives him an all-right-if-you-like-SHIT ball, and skips off happily. Adam Lambert gets to Rustboro, and enters the gym. Friend tells him that the gym leader here uses super-okay Pokemon.
WHAT DOES ADAM LAMBERT DO

decides to catch a pretty not-bad pokemon, as everyone knows it has a type advantage over super-okay pokemon

he searches far and wide for

rare candies

then sells them so he can afford a TM for a moderately-okay type move

CHAPTOUR NINE:
Adam Lambert runs out to the nearby Pokemart, and buys 10,000 rare candies. Adam Lambert rushes to cutman's house, and trades them for HM 01: cut! Adam Lambert chucks it at Blarshbabble, teaching him cut! Adam Lambert struts confidently into the gym. "hey what's up" David Coverdale looks down at Adam Lambert, a smirk appearing on his face. David Coverdale sends out Luvdisc, and Adam Lambert sends out Blarshbabble. Blarshbabble uses his blarsh attack to paralyze Luvdisc, then goes in for the kill. David Coverdale uses a wheely-dealy healyglobber, bringing Luvdisc back. Adam Lambert curses his luck, and sends out Megakotexar. Megakotexar looks at Luvdisc, his face turning red. Luvdisc motions Megakotexar over, and Megakotexar grabs Luvdisc, planting a passionate kiss square on Luvdisc's lips. Megakotexar takes Luvdisc out to dinner, and after several dates, Megakotexar asks Luvdisc to marry Blarshbabble. Luvdisc accepts, and she and Blarshbabble walk down the aisle. A single tear streams down Megakotexar's face, a smile on his lips.
David Coverdale gives Adam Lambert the Love Badge. Adam Lambert puts the Love Badge in the Love Badge's Badge Slot in the Badge Case. Friend congratulates Adam Lambert on his victoly, saying things just get harder from here. Adam Lambert takes his locket out from under his shirt and opens it. "jasmine lambert i promise i'll come back for you" Adam Lambert puts his locket back, grabs his backpack and takes Blarshbabble and Megakotexar with him on his new journey to be the very best, like no one ever was.
END OF EPISODE TWO
STILL CHAPTOUR NINE, BUT A DIFFERENT EPISODE:
Adam Lambert heads through the town to get directions to the second gym, when some guy totally wrecks his shop tells Adam Lambert to go get his stuff back from a criminal! Some other guy expects Adam Lambert to get his Wingull back! Adam Lambert thinks this is very rude.
WHAT DOES ADAM LAMBERT DO

Adam navigates through the 13 trials of Artemis and ascends the deadly Mt. Sure-Death and other impossible feats in order to retreive the aforementioned items, but keeps both of them for himself. Then he paraglides to 2nd gym town.

CHAPTOUR TEN:
Adam Lambert sighs, and heads off to Mt. Sure-Death to follow the criminal. On his ascent, Adam Lambert faces the 13 trials of Artemis, learns to script Java, uses the villagers' corpses to make spaghetti sauce, catches every single Pokemon, helps an elderly lady cross the street, trolls /mu/, gets Scott to make a good VG Cats, sells out, prevents the confusion in the city, revs up those friers, works out Blue's Clues, flies a plane into the twin towers, makes another It's Times Like These take, wakes up, reenacts William Shakespearre's "Hamlet", catches up on the last season of Friends, turns the lights out and has a jam session with Neil Yong and Robert Planet. After all the hardship, Adam Lambert reaches the criminal in his island hideout. The criminal surrenders as a prank, and gives Adam Lambert Wingull and the items. Adam Lambert keeps these items and Wingull for himself.
Adam Lambert paraglides to Dewford and enters the gym. Friend tells him that the gym leader here uses super not-bad Pokemon.
WHAT DOES ADAM LAMBERT DO

grind wingull to a pulp since he learns Give Me The Diamonds at level 21

blarshbabble gets jealous of the attention given to wingull and it creates TENSION

use fissure on the gym itself for super effective global calamity

CHAPTOUR ELEVEN:
Adam Lambert heads to Granite Cave for some grinding. Wingull reaches level 21 and leans give me the diamonds. Adam Lambert struts confidently into the gym. "hey what's up" David Bowie looks down at Adam Lambert, a smirk appearing on his face. David Bowie sends out Miltank, and Adam Lambert sends out Wingull. Wingull uses his give me the diamonds attack to paralyze Miltank, then goes in for the kill. David Bowie uses a wheely-dealy healyglobber, bringing Miltank back. Adam Lambert curses his luck, and sends out Blarshbabble. Blarshbabble looks at Miltank, his face turning red. Miltank motions Blarshbabble over, and Blarshbabble grabs Miltank, planting a passionate kiss square on Miltank's lips. Blarshbabble takes Miltank out to dinner, and after several dates, Blarshbabble asks Miltank to marry Wingull. Miltank accepts, and she and Wingull walk down the aisle. A single tear streams down Blarshbabble's face, a smile on his lips.
David Bowie gives Adam Lambert the Milk Badge. Adam Lambert puts the Milk Badge in the Milk Badge's Badge Slot in the Badge Case. Friend congratulates Adam Lambert on his victoly, saying things just get harder from here. Adam Lambert takes his locket out from under his shirt and opens it. "jasmine lambert i promise i'll come back for you" Adam Lambert puts his locket back, grabs his backpack and takes Blarshbabble, Wingull and Megakotexar with him on his new journey to be the very best, like no one ever was.
END OF EPISODE THREE
STILL CHAPTOUR ELEVEN, BUT A DIFFERENT EPISODE:
Adam Lambert heads through the town to get directions to the third gym, when some guy totally wrecks his shop ferries Adam Lambert to Slateport! Adam Lambert thinks this is very rude.
WHAT DOES ADAM LAMBERT DO

if i were adam lambert i would totally find the nearest pokemart to check out their wares

CHAPTOUR TWELVE:
Adam Lambert struts into the Pokemart confidently and talks to the cashier. "Hi! I'm Adam Lambert! Do you wanna be my FRIEND?! You do?! Aw, man! We're gonna be best friends forever! Now, my friend, can you do your best buddy a super-favour?!I need some Pokeorbs and Wheely-Dealy Healyglobbers! You wouldn't deny your super-best friend a much-needed favour, would you, best buddy?!" The cashier gives Adam Lambert some Pokeorbs and some Wheely-Dealy Healyglobbers. "Thanks, best friend in the world! I won't forget this, my friend!" Adam Lambert leaves the Pokemart, never to be seen again. The cashier loses his job, and promptly commits suicide. Hanging from his roof, his last words are "dammit, orange".
Adam Lambert heads through the woods and reaches a weird house. Adam Lambert feels as if he is being watched and sees a faint glint under the table.
WHAT DOES ADAM LAMBERT DO

ignore the glint, loot the house for all of its treasures, and leave without so much as a sound

CHAPTOUR THIRTEEN:
Adam Lambert finds the glint to be of little consequence, so he loots the house, finding the iron boots, HM 06: rock smash, the exp. share, a copy of Anal Monthly, last week's TV Guide and a book containing the lost art of punch-fu! Adam Lambert leaves the house wordlessly and sits on a rock to read the tome. It reads "punching people by lunatone; punching people by solrock; when i punch you it will really hurt; i'm gonna punch you in the face". Saying these enchanted words, Adam Lambert is approached by a Makuhita! "hey" "hey" Adam Lambert shoves a Pokeorb into Makuhita's FACE. Makuhita enters the Pokeorb and joins Adam Lambert's team!
Adam Lambert struts along the walkway and finds a GUY. "fire, water, flying and ground; fucking magnemite how do they work" Adam Lambert sweats and sends out Makuhita. "hey magnemite come here i'm gonna punch you" "okay just don't punch me in the face" Makuhita punches Magnemite. "ow i told you not to punch me there" "that is why i punched you in the face" "damn you, makuhita; i will get you back somehow"
Kris Allen comes up behind Adam Lambert. "HEY ADAM LAMBERT GRAB YOUR BALLS AND LET'S GOOOOOOOOOOO" "NO U" "NO ME" Kris Allen sends out Farfignugletron.
WHAT DOES ADAM LAMBERT DO

adam lambert should totally send out wingull, d00d

CHAPTOUR FOURTEEN:
Adam Lambert sends out Wingull. Farfignugletron sweats and uses brick break. Wingull shrugs it off and uses give me the diamonds, which kills Farfignugletron in one hit. "adam lambert i hate you" "butthurt" Kris Allen storms off in a rage and Adam Lambert makes his way to Mauvile. Danny Gokey is in front of the gym. "hey" "hey" "LET US FIGHT OUR PETS TO THE DEATH " Blarshbabble rapes Danny Gokey's Ralts. "fycc"
Adam Lambert does a victoly lap and materialises in the gym. Friend tells him that the gym leader here uses super-decent in a way Pokemon.
WHAT DOES ADAM LAMBERT DO