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 Teh Forum RPG [Reboot] IV: A Choose-Your-Own Adventure

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Shreddventure
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PostSubject: Re: Teh Forum RPG [Reboot] IV: A Choose-Your-Own Adventure   Tue Apr 19, 2011 10:19 am

scrunches his sandwich in his fist, growling "never" at the man
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Jakeyadventure
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PostSubject: Re: Teh Forum RPG [Reboot] IV: A Choose-Your-Own Adventure   Tue Apr 19, 2011 12:30 pm

CHAPTOUR SEVEN:
Bran looks straight at the man and screams "NEVER" while crushing his sandwich with his bare hands. The man runs away, terrified. Bran then gets abducted by the US military. "bran we need you to go to russia" "old" "butthurt" Bran parachutes into Russia, losing his backpack along the way! "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU" "bran you need to get your backpack" "0/10" "do you remember how to climb" "NO U" "NO ME" Bran climbs the tree and retrieves his backpack. "OBTW bran your old mentor, jack white, is here" "OMG OMG OMG" "hey bran it's me" "old" "you've lost weight" "NO U" "NO ME" "you must rescue sokolov bran" "0/10"
Bran walks through the jungle, sneaking past guards and such. Bran finds Sokolov in an abandoned building, and thinks it would be SUPER-FUNNY to chuck a grenade in the room with him.
WHAT DOES BRAN DO
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Dr. Adventure
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PostSubject: Re: Teh Forum RPG [Reboot] IV: A Choose-Your-Own Adventure   Tue Apr 19, 2011 4:40 pm

just as he's about to toss-the grenade, he decides against it and sheds a single tear thinking of the consequences.

he looks down, and the grenade is really a transformer! it changes in his hands into
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Father Adventure
GREEN, RED, YELLOW, BLUE, WHAT WILL YOU DO?!


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PostSubject: Re: Teh Forum RPG [Reboot] IV: A Choose-Your-Own Adventure   Tue Apr 19, 2011 5:05 pm

Bran, blinded at the lust for vengeance he feels for his parents' murders, pulls the pin out of sir pez grenade and throws it into the room sokolov is in
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Jakeyadventure
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PostSubject: Re: Teh Forum RPG [Reboot] IV: A Choose-Your-Own Adventure   Wed Apr 20, 2011 12:19 pm

CHAPTOUR EIGHT:
Bran takes out his PEZ grenade and pulls the pin. Finally, after all these years of searching, Bran will finally avenge his casual acquaintance, Fred. Bran chucks the PEZ grenade into Sokolov's room and Sokolov's like "wat". The PEZ grenade explodes, wiping out everything in a fifty-mile radius. Bran sheds a single tear, knowing that it is all over and walks off aimlessly.
"hey whats up" Revolver Ocelot kills some guys. "hey look at me look at me look at me i'm cool too"
WHAT DOES BRAN DO
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Dr. Adventure
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PostSubject: Re: Teh Forum RPG [Reboot] IV: A Choose-Your-Own Adventure   Wed Apr 20, 2011 1:20 pm

jump the crevice while revolver ocelot is reloading to trade in 20 coins for a star
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Jakeyadventure
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PostSubject: Re: Teh Forum RPG [Reboot] IV: A Choose-Your-Own Adventure   Thu Apr 21, 2011 11:20 am

CHAPTOUR NINE:
Ocelot notices that he has 23 coins! Ocelot attempts to trade 20 for a star. "here have a star for your 20 coins" "what do you mean stars cost 30 i was here yesterday and they cost 20" "sorry sir but that is the rules" Bran leaps as far as he can across the crevice. Ocelot smirks and punches him into the crevice. "rats" Bran falls for days, finally landing and breaking all his bones with a sickening crack. "fuck" Bran runs to the end of the cave, screaming. "ALL I WANTED WAS A PEPSI JUST A PEPSI BUT HE WOULDN'T GIVE IT TO ME JUST A PEPSI" "hey i'm the pain" "oh hey" "THE PAIN" "hmm" "THE PAIN IS PAINFUL" "old" "CAN'T STOP THE PAIN" "butthurt" "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA BEES AAAAAAAAAAA THEY ARE KILLING ME HELP" "NO U" "NO ME" The Pain explodes. "wow"
Bran runs around a bit. "the end will totally be the end for the boy" Bran falls into fatal hysterics.
WHAT DOES BRAN DO
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Father Adventure
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PostSubject: Re: Teh Forum RPG [Reboot] IV: A Choose-Your-Own Adventure   Fri Apr 22, 2011 10:52 am

bran has to eat to recover stamina!! so he crawls through the cave searching for a nice juicy space cow
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Dr. Adventure
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PostSubject: Re: Teh Forum RPG [Reboot] IV: A Choose-Your-Own Adventure   Fri Apr 22, 2011 4:46 pm

to prepare for the historic battle against the end, bran walks to the local grocery store to stock up on supplies like Whole Wheat, Organic Salt and Pepper, Riot Police Goggles, Papal Signet Rings, Muslim Veils, and a Weeaboo Man
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PostSubject: Re: Teh Forum RPG [Reboot] IV: A Choose-Your-Own Adventure   Fri Apr 22, 2011 4:57 pm

CHAPTOUR TEN:
Bran gasps and runs to the grocery store. If this is the end, Bran wishes to have the right ingredients! Bran picks up some whole wheat, organic salt, organic pepper, riot police sheilds, Muslim veils, Papal signet rings and a Weeaboo Man. All of this gathering has rendered Bran's stamina bar rather empty. Bran runs back to the cave to find some nice juicy space cows. Bran searches for days and finally finds a space cow. Bran chucks a spear at it, missing. "fuck" Bran slides to his spear, and chucks it at the space cow while on his back.The space cow bursts into treats, and Bran grabs as many as he can. Bran chucks the pieces at the fire, leaps over the fire and grabs a piece just before it burns. Bran chucks the piece in the air and slices through it. Bran leaps in the air again and catches all the pieces in his mouth.
Bran walks outside the shop. "you guys totally wrecked my shop" "old" "butthurt" Bran leaps in the air and Dave Grohl calls. "hey sokolov is in that big building over there" "great" Bran enters the building, but sees that it's full of Jewish people!
WHAT DOES BRAN DO
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Dr. Adventure
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PostSubject: Re: Teh Forum RPG [Reboot] IV: A Choose-Your-Own Adventure   Sat Apr 23, 2011 11:17 am

skip merrily through all of them holding a palastinian flag and whistling the One Piece theme song
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Jakeyadventure
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PostSubject: Re: Teh Forum RPG [Reboot] IV: A Choose-Your-Own Adventure   Sat Apr 23, 2011 11:28 am

CHAPTOUR ELEVEN:
Bran beings to skip rather fast. Not too fast, though. Bran waves the Papal robes around wildly while singing the One Piece song as loudly as humanely possible. "give it up bran give it up ocelot give it up the end give it up sokolov give it up jack white" Eventually, Bran makes it to Sokolov's room. "sokolov isn't here" "old" "he's lame anyway look at me i'm drunk wheeeeeeeeeeeeee" "butthurt" "NO U" "NO ME" Bran walks away from the complex and pushes the button, a single tear streaming down his face. The compound explodes, killing everyone inside instantly. "get i'm the fear" "oh hey" "THE FEAR" "hmm" "THE FEAR IS FEARFUL" "old" "CAN'T STOP THE FEAR" "butthurt" "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA MUSHROOMS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA THEY ARE KILLING ME HELP" "NO U" "NO ME" The Fear explodes. "wow"
Bran runs around a bit and gets sniped by The End. Bran wakes up in Jewish Compound Land. "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"
WHAT DOES BRAN DO
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Dr. Adventure
i tell you what im NOT trying to pull my own cock


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PostSubject: Re: Teh Forum RPG [Reboot] IV: A Choose-Your-Own Adventure   Sat Apr 23, 2011 1:01 pm

he swears on the life of his great aunt, Lauren Cole Lehman, not to end up in Jewish Compound Land again, and heads to mexico to train to be the very best like no one ever was at sniping
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PostSubject: Re: Teh Forum RPG [Reboot] IV: A Choose-Your-Own Adventure   Sun Apr 24, 2011 11:25 am

CHAPTOUR TWELVE:
Bran sweats and swears on the life of Margaret that he will never wake up in Jewish Compound Land ever again. Bran hops aboard a train and plows into The End. "father i want to kill you mother i want to rape you" "fer i'm the end" "oh hey" "THE END" "hmm" "THE END IS ENDFUL" "old" "CAN'T STOP THE END" "butthurt" "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA PHOTOSYNTHESIS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA THEY ARE KILLING ME HELP" "NO U" "NO ME" The End explodes. "wow"
Bran then climbs a ladder. "what a thrill" "OH FUCK" "with darkness and silence through the niiiiiiiiiiiight" "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" "what a trill" "FUCK THIS ISN'T HAPPENING" "i'm searching and a mountain to you (?)" "FFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU" "what a fear in my heart" "FUCK" "when you're so supreme" "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" "i give my life not for honour but for you" "NO HELP" "in my time there'll be no one else" "OH GOD HELP" "crime it's the way i fly to you" "PLEASE SOMEONE" "i'm still in a dream snake eater" "butthurt"
WHAT DOES BRAN DO
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Dr. Adventure
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PostSubject: Re: Teh Forum RPG [Reboot] IV: A Choose-Your-Own Adventure   Sun Apr 24, 2011 11:28 am

the song has changed his view of life and its entrails, so he sells his possessions to the poor and becomes a sailor on the aegean

coincidentally, the fury has also become a sailor, but mostly because he's grieving the fact that he bought a PS3 and hates movies
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PostSubject: Re: Teh Forum RPG [Reboot] IV: A Choose-Your-Own Adventure   Mon Apr 25, 2011 3:43 pm

CHAPTOUR THIRTEEN:
The song has changed Bran. Bran pulls out his gun and shoots himself in the head. Bran falls down ten stories to the floor. Bran lands with a sickening crack, all of Bran's bones breaking upon impact. Bran smiles, as he no longer has to deal with a world with such a soundtrack. "i love you, frankette" "dee i'm the fury" "oh hey" "THE FURY" "hmm" "THE FURY IS FURYFUL" "old" "CAN'T STOP THE FURY" "butthurt" "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA OXYGENS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA THEY ARE KILLING ME HELP" "NO U" "NO ME" The Fury explodes. "wow"
Bran sneaks into a big building. "hey i'm raikov" Bran kills Raikov. "ow that hurt" Bran wears Raikov's skin and heads to Sokolov's location. "hey guess what" Volgin grabs Braikov's crotch. "YOU ARE NOT IVAN" "old" "butthurt" Volgin beats the shit out of Bran, and chucks him into a cell. Ocelot shoots out Bran's eye. "I DON'T LIKE THIS GAME"
WHAT DOES BRAN DO
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Shreddventure
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PostSubject: Re: Teh Forum RPG [Reboot] IV: A Choose-Your-Own Adventure   Tue Apr 26, 2011 3:53 pm

open up the console and type the unlock and killall commands then stroll onto the next zone unchallenged
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PostSubject: Re: Teh Forum RPG [Reboot] IV: A Choose-Your-Own Adventure   Tue Apr 26, 2011 4:04 pm

CHAPTOUR FOURTEEN:
Bran presses Tab and opens the console. Bran types the KILLALL command. Johnny, Volgin, Yay!, The Boss and Ocelot die instantly. Bran loots Ocelot's corpse for BRAN'S EYE and strolls out. "hello bran" "ocelot why did you follow me" "i have this bullet it's yours i love you bran" "NO U" "NO ME" Bran leaps to his death. Bran lands on a sharp rock, impaling him. Bran bleeds to death into the river, never to be seen again. "sew i'm the sorry" "oh hey" "THE SORROW" "hmm" "THE SORROW IS SORROWFUL" "old" "CAN'T STOP THE SORROW" "butthurt" "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA RAINING BLOOD FROM A LACERATED SKY AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA THEY ARE KILLING ME HELP" "NO U" "NO ME" The Sorrow explodes. "wow"
"hey bran i got your stuff!!!" "but all my stuff is right here" "then whose stuff is this!!!" Jakey stands in a field, naked. "well this isn't how i planned to spend my tuesday"
WHAT DOES BRAN DO
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Dr. Adventure
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PostSubject: Re: Teh Forum RPG [Reboot] IV: A Choose-Your-Own Adventure   Tue Apr 26, 2011 4:06 pm

enjoy a passionate night under a waterfall with jakey and never stop not even for the armaggedon no siree
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PostSubject: Re: Teh Forum RPG [Reboot] IV: A Choose-Your-Own Adventure   Wed Apr 27, 2011 3:37 pm

CHAPTOUR FIFTEEN:
Bran and Jakey lie underneath the trees. "jakey i" "NO U" "NO ME" Bran walks into the lab and sets up some explosives. "hehe this is such a great prank" "aeq i'm the volgin" "oh hey" "THE VOLGIN" "hmm" "THE VOLGIN IS VOLGINFUl" "old" "CAN'T STOP THE VOLGIN" "butthurt" "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA RAIN AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA THEY ARE KILLING ME HELP" "NO U" "NO ME" The Volgin explodes. "wow"
"hey the gas tank has a hole let me look at it instead of where i'm going" They crash. "fuck" "so bran you've made it" "NO U" "NO ME" "YOU SEE THIS SCAR" "butthurt" The Boss sweats. "bran i" "shhhhhhhhhh" Bran puts his finger to The Boss's lips and the two pationately kiss. "the boss i" "i know" The two engage in PASSIONATE PANTS-ON HUGGING. "well now it's time for you to kill me" "NO U" "NO ME"
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PostSubject: Re: Teh Forum RPG [Reboot] IV: A Choose-Your-Own Adventure   Thu Apr 28, 2011 3:44 pm

CHAPTOUR SIXTEEN:
"DON'T MAKE ME DO IT THE BOSS I WILL KILL YOU I AM NOT AFRAID" "lep i'm the joy" "oh hey" "THE JOY" "hmm" "THE JOY IS JOYFUL" "old" "CAN'T STOP THE JOY" "butthurt" "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA FLOWERS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA THEY ARE KILLING ME HELP" "NO U" "NO ME" The Joy explodes. "wow"
"HEY BRAN" "hey ocelot" "I'M COOL TOO WATCH" Bran shoots Ocelot. "HAHA IT WAS A BLANK" "WHAT THE FUCK HOW DID YOU PUT A BLANK IN MY GUN" Ocelot puts on his best trollface and falls out of the helicopter. "DAMN YOU OCELOT" "NO U" "NO ME"
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Jakeyadventure
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PostSubject: Re: Teh Forum RPG [Reboot] IV: A Choose-Your-Own Adventure   Thu Apr 28, 2011 3:44 pm

CHAPTOUR TWENTY-NINE:
Bran and the gang return home with The Boss being dead. "mistour president i" "save it the look on your face is enough" Bran and President Johnson embrace. A single tear streams down Bran's face, then lands on President Johnson's face, and begins the streaming process anew. Bran and President Johnson engage in a passionate kiss, and Bran carries President Johnson to bed for some HOT LOVIN TONIGHT. Michelle runs up to Ocelot, and the two embrace. "eeewww" "get a room you two" "NO U" "NO ME"
"lo all" Stevman does a kneeslide, and plays a powerchord. "THAT'S OUR STEVMAN" Then Michelle's like "take me home'. THE END.
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Jakeyadventure
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PostSubject: Re: Teh Forum RPG [Reboot] IV: A Choose-Your-Own Adventure   Thu Apr 28, 2011 3:45 pm

CHOOSE
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PostSubject: Re: Teh Forum RPG [Reboot] IV: A Choose-Your-Own Adventure   Thu Apr 28, 2011 3:49 pm

Eif
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Dr. Adventure
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PostSubject: Re: Teh Forum RPG [Reboot] IV: A Choose-Your-Own Adventure   Thu Apr 28, 2011 4:27 pm

Eif, the groovin' chum
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