Teh Forum RPG [Reboot] II

CHAPTOUR ONE:
"no bjarne don't go" "but bendik i must" "why" "why not" Bjarne walks off into the cold, unforgiving night, never to return. A single tear streams down Ben's face. A month later, Ben's family gets a letter saying Bjarne has died. A single tear streams down Ben's face. Ben takes his father's armour and sword, and sets off on a journey to avenge Bjarne. "you can't have that it's mine" "wanna bet " "sure why not"
Ben tightens his grip on the hilt of his sword, and lunges at his father, slicing him cleanly in half. "okay you can have it" "thanks" "go avenge my death son" "NO U" "NO ME" Ben's father lies on the floor, limp. Ben takes him in his arms, and shouts a rather long "noooooooooooooooooo" upwards, a single tear streaming down his cheek. Bern puts his father's corpse on the floor, and sets off in search of revenge.

CHAPTOUR TWO:
"dude you seriously aren't thinking about going in there alone" "i must to avenge my brother" "well i'm coming with you" "NO U" "NO ME" Cale joins the party, and the two skip across the field of flowers to the cave. "well the dragon's in here" "the what" "the dragon that killed my father" "oh um" The two enter, and the cave entrance collapses on them! "i hope we never have to go back" "well there was the pretty-great-sword in my friend's house" "fffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-" The two walk through the cave, and make it to the exit. "well that was easy" They get ambushed by a harlequin foetus knight. "GODDAMMIT ORANGE"
Ben slides across the floor, hacking off the harlequin foetus knight's feet and half of its shins. Cale lines up an arrow, and plugs it right in the eyes. Ben runs towards the harlequin foetus knight at full speed, sword dragging across the floor, and unleashes a wave of sparks at it, pinning it to the ground. Orange shoots the harlequin foetus knight in THE FACE. WITH HIS GUN. FUCK YEAH. Orange then slashes at the harlequin foetus knight with a CQC knife combo, killing it instantly. "orange why" "orange go away" "NO U" "NO ME"

CHAPTOUR THREE:
The three thailorskateers walk into the next town. "oh guys it's jakey!!!" "who" "just this guy" "hey orange" "jakey" "what are you doing" "going to avenge ben's mother" "wat" "butthurt" "why didn't you invite me!!!" "i don't even know who you are!!!" "oh sorry i must have forgotten the last time you guys saved the world OH WAIT" "butthurt" "well at least you have some legendary weapons OH WAIT" "i don't like your tone mistour" "old" Ben draws his sword. Jakey laughs, and draws his sword as well.
Jakey rushes towards Ben with his sword outstretched, slicing his head clean off. Cale fires some arrows at Jakey, but Jakey ducks under them, and slides on his back towards Cale, slicing his feet off. Cale falls backward, allowing Jakey to stab him in the crotch, and tear his weapon through Cale's head. Jakey then walks over to Orange, and gives him the power of electricity. Jakey then fires his hookshot at a nearby building and hooks up. Jakey looks back at Cale and Ben's lifeless bodies, a single tear streaming down his cheek. Then Michelle's like "take me home".

CHAPTOUR FOUR:
The three shoeskateers walk across town to get to the guard tower. "oh guys it's taylor!!!" "who" "just this guy" "yo orange" "taylor" "wazzup" "we're going to avenge ben's sister" "nigga whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat" "butthurt" "yo dawg you know i always down fo' a li'l revenge!!!" "i don't even know who you are!!!" "yo dawg i'm always avengin' shit" "butthurt" "i mean shit dawg yo' ain't got nothin' no legendary swords no credentials" "i don't like your tone mistour" "old" Ben draws his sword. Taylor laughs, and draws his sword as well.
Taylor rushes towards Ben with his sword outstretched, slicing his head clean off. Cale fires some arrows at Taylor, but Taylor ducks under them, and slides on his back towards Cale, slicing his feet off. Cale falls backward, allowing Taylor to stab him in the crotch, and tear his weapon through Cale's head. Taylor then walks over to Cale, and gives him the power of wind. Taylor then fires his hookshot at a nearby building and hooks up. Taylor looks back at Cale and Ben's lifeless bodies, a single tear streaming down his cheek. Then Michelle's like "take me home".

CHAPTOUR FIVE:
Orange runs ahead to an alley, where he sees a man being beaten to death with a rusty stick! Orange rushes over to the man, and holds his head in his arms. "my name is brucie" "who did this to you brucie" "the italians" "fuck" Brucie goes limp in Orange's arms. "why" "orange what did you do!!!" "it wasn't me!!!" "butthurt" "butthurt" The three build a fire and burn Brucie's body at the stake as a sign of respect. The four then go off into the unknown.
The four run through the forest aimlessly, eventually stumbling upon an arena! However, they ban ranged weapons, so Orange and Cale are teleported to the dungeons! Ben and Brucie stand back-to-back, swinging their weapons at the Romans who pour through the gates. After a thousand Romans lay slaughtered, Ben and Brucie get the BLING-BLING WILD MEDALS. The four set off towards the next town, where the next chaptour takes place, and arrive there, waiting to do things that will be shown in the next chaptour.

CHAPTOUR SIX:
The four guys rush in to see the king. "oh guys it's bran!!!" "who" "just this guy" "hello orange" "bran" "what are" "we're going to avenge ben's cousin" "why not let bran help" "i don't even know who you are!!!" "i'm the king of HEY MISTER CAN WE HAVE OUR BALL BACK" "i don't like your tone mistour" "old" Ben draws his sword. Bran laughs, and draws his sword as well.
Bran rushes towards Ben with his sword outstretched, slicing his head clean off. Cale fires some arrows at Bran, but Bran ducks under them, and slides on his back towards Cale, slicing his feet off. Cale falls backward, allowing Bran to stab him in the crotch, and tear his weapon through Cale's head. Bran then walks over to Brucie, and gives him the power of ice. Bran then fires his hookshot at a nearby building and hooks up. Bran looks back at Cale and Ben's lifeless bodies, a single tear streaming down his cheek. Then Michelle's like "take me home".

CHAPTOUR SEVEN:
Orange runs ahead to an alley, where he sees a man being beaten to death with a rusty stick! Orange rushes over to the man, and holds his head in his arms. "my name is max" "who did this to you max" "the italians" "fuck" Max goes limp in Orange's arms. "why" "orange what did you do!!!" "it wasn't me!!!" "butthurt" "butthurt" The four build a fire and burn Brucie's body at the stake as a sign of respect. The five then go off into the unknown.
The five run through the field aimlessly, eventually stumbling upon a chariot race! However, they ban ranged weapons, so Orange and Cale are teleported to the dungeons! Ben and Brucie sit on the sides of their chariot, attacking Romans while Max drives. After destroying all the Romans' chariots, Brucie and Ben backflip off of the chariot, and Max dives off, running the chariot into the wall! Max, Brucie and Ben get BLING-BLING WILD MEDALS, and set off towards the next town, where the next chaptour takes place, and arrive there, waiting to do things that will be shown in the next chaptour.

CHAPTOUR EIGHT:
The five people rush ahead to find a man. "oh guys it's eif!!!" "who" "just this guy" "lo orange" "eif" "what's going" "we're going to avenge ben's uncle" "not inviting eif great idea" "i don't even know who you are!!!" "i was a doctor once you know" "butthurt" "but they said i was too good at doctoring so they fired me" "butthurt" "anyway yeah" "i don't like your tone mistour" "old" Ben draws his sword. Eif laughs, and draws his sword as well.
Eif rushes towards Ben with his sword outstretched, slicing his head clean off. Cale fires some arrows at Eif, but Eif ducks under them, and slides on his back towards Cale, slicing his feet off. Cale falls backward, allowing Eif to stab him in the crotch, and tear his weapon through Cale's head. Eif then walks over to Max, and gives him the power of fire. Eif then fires his hookshot at a nearby building and hooks up. Eif looks back at Cale and Ben's lifeless bodies, a single tear streaming down his cheek. Then Michelle's like "take me home".

CHAPTOUR NINE:
The gang walk into a shop, where they see a man flailing his arms around randomly. "howdy welcome to original gangster george's previously-owned coffins we handle the dead for a lot less bread what are you looking for son need a bin for your next of kin want a family plot without spending a lot you're in luck just look at all this quality merchandise never before touched by a living soul most of it used only for a few hours premature burial you know that sort of thing well speak up or are you dead" "i'm looking for a good used coffin" "when you first walked in here i said now there's a guy who needs a good used coffin there happens to be an excellent deal right behind you let's go take a look see now this here is the cadilac of coffins look at all that leg room there's room in there for long john silver himself here let me get in and show you now a man can really rest in peace and comfort in one of these" Ben slams the previously-owned coffin shut on Original Gangster George, and nails him in.
The five hop abourd the coffin, and sail off aimlessly. "a gathering of angels" "JAKEY STOP" "appeared above my head" "JAKEY WHY" "they sang to me a song of hope" "let's hear that instead!!!" "and this is what they said" "oh boy oh" "they said come sail away come sail away come sail away with me" "wow how inspiring" "come sail away come sail away come sail away with me" "a single tear" "come sail away come sail away come sail away with me" "is streaming down my cheek" "come sail away come sail away come sail away with me" "i will never love again" "i thought that they were angels but to my surprise" "but the heavenly chorus!!!" "we climbed abourd their starship and headed for the skies" "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-" "singing come sail away come sail away come sail away with me" "old" "come sail away come sail away come sail away with me" "stop" "come sail away come sail away come sail away with me" "we're already sailing" "come sail away come sail away come sail away with me" "so much sailing" "come sail away come sail away come sail away with me" "why" "come sail away come sail away come sail away with me" "IT KEEPS HAPPENING" "come sail away come sail away come sail away with me" "I WARNED YOU ABOUT SAILS BRO" "come sail away come sail away come sail away with me" "I TOLD YOU DOG"

CHAPTOUR TEN:
The five walk into a factory. "hey kids we got a shipment of legendary miscelaneous weapons but we have no use for legendary miscelaneous weapons here have some legendary miscelaneous weapons" The five take the legendary miscelaneous weapons. "wow these are great" "meh" "mine tastes funny" The six march off aimlessly, and find a giant Rolf Harris demo tape. "orange use your grass powers!!!" "i have electricity powers" "wat" "why are you so useless orange" The giant plant eats the five. "well this sucks" "hey i have an idea let's BURN the cd" "butthurt" "butthurt" "THAT WON'T WORK YOU RETARD" "butthurt" "but guys what else do you do with cds" "butthurt" "i have an idea let's BLOW AWAY the demo tape" "that's brilliant!!!" "but guys burning" "stop being butthurt because wind is super effective against demo tapes" The five blow their way out of the giant demo tape. "hey guys it's tony!!!" "who" "just this guy" "oh hello orange" "tony" "what are you up to" "we're going to avenge ben's great-aunt thrice-removed" "oh thanks for not inviting me" "i don't even know you!!!" "no one knows me i saved the world and what do i get nothing" "i don't like your tone mistour" "old" Ben draws his sword. Tony sighs, and draws his sword as well.
Tony rushes towards Ben with his sword outstretched, slicing his head clean off. Cale fires some arrows at Tony, but Tony ducks under them, and slides on his back towards Cale, slicing his feet off. Cale falls backward, allowing Tony to stab him in the crotch, and tear his weapon through Cale's head. Tony then walks over to Ben, and gives him the power of earth. Tony then fires his hookshot at a nearby building and hooks up. Tony looks back at Cale and Ben's lifeless bodies, a single tear streaming down his cheek. Then Michelle's like "take me home".

CHAPTOUR ELEVEN:
The five stumble across a lamp. They rub the fuck out of that shit, and THE MYSTICAL GENIE OF THE pops out! "hello" "hello" "who are you" "i'm a genie see what you wish it's yours true dish how about a little more baklavaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa" The five are covered in baklava, seeing nothing but baklava. "i can't find you in the baklava" "the night is set on you" "aaaaaaaaah watch out" The five rocket up to the moon, and find a harlequin foetus knight!
Cale leaps at the harlequin foetus knight, pelting him with arrows. Brucie runs towards the harlequin foetus knight's head, axe grinding against the ground. Brucie releases his grip on the axe, sending it flying at the harlequin foetus knight, decapitating it. Orange and Max play strip poker. The harlequin foetus knight laughs, undamaged. "oh man it's gonna take some heavy firepower to take this guy on" Phyllyp runs to the other side of the room, and gets struck by a bolt of it. Plot hax shoot from Craig's hands at the harlequin foetus knight, destroying it instantly. "geromy stop attention-seeking" "but guys i didn't even do anything" "old"

CHAPTOUR TWELVE:
Ben runs into the next room, and comes face-to-face with his father's killer. Ben tightens his grip on his sword, and runs at Roubourt, when Jakey, Eif, Bran, Tony and Taylor skydive through the ceiling, and land in the centre of the marker for more points! "hello" Jakey slides towards Roubourt, hacking his legs off at the knees. Bran leaps into the air, and impales Roubourt through the chest, putting all his weight on the hilt of his sword. Taylor chucks his sword into Roubourt's eye, allowing Eif to cut Roubourt in half, tall-ways. Tony shouts at Roubourt, "HEY MISTER CAN WE HAVE OUR BALL BACK". Roubourt chucks the ball at Tony with all his might. Tony combines the ball with his sword, and unleashes a nuclear blast, destroying everything in a ten-mile radius. Roubourt is reduced to nothing but ash.
"wat" "oh hey ben, orange, brucie, max and cale" "i was supposed to kill him to avenge my grandfather!!!" "butthurt" "why did you do that!!!" "i wanted the experience" "at least i can recover my family's stolen ps3 games" "i'm sorry to inform you ben but" "noooooooooooooooooooooooooo" "oh hey i leveled up" "me too high-five jakey" Eif and Jakey perform an aerial high-five, gaining an experience boost for being STYLISH. "it's finally over" A single tear streams down Tony's cheek. "i can tell mother i got our ball back" "she'll be so proud tony" "yeah tony let's go" "i just have one piece of unfinished business here" Tony walks up to Ben, a single tear streaming down his cheek. "i can't believe you let brian die, man" The five heroes wander off aimlessly in the direction of that distant horizon.

CHAPTOUR THIRTEEN:
Tony and the gang return home with the ball. "mother i" "save it the look on your face is enough" Tony and his mother embrace. A single tear streams down Tony's face, then lands on his mother's face, and begins the streaming process anew. Tony and his mother engage in a passionate kiss, and Tony carries his mother to bed for some HOT LOVIN TONIGHT. Michelle runs up to Jakey, and the two embrace. "eeewww" "get a room you two" "NO U" "NO ME"
"lo all" Stevman does a kneeslide, and plays a powerchord. "THAT'S OUR STEVMAN" Then Michelle's like "take me home". THE END.