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 If this were 2007, would you buy this

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remember chocolate rain? whatever happened to that guy

Number of posts : 8927
Age : 25
Registration date : 2007-12-29

PostSubject: If this were 2007, would you buy this   Mon Jul 13, 2009 1:06 pm

Oh hello! Didn't see you there! Today we are going to go through the setlist for Harmonix's dream Guitar Hero IV, also known as Guitar Hero II: The Revenge. Sit back, grab some popcorn and enjoy this gripping tale of a young man's struggle with high school bullies and his turn to homosexuality... wait. What the fuck? YOU GAVE ME THE WRONG SCRIPT. Whatever. Here's Guitar Hero II: The Revenge, presented to you by Geico auto insurance.

Young Bill Cosby was walking down the street with his band, Bill Cosby and the New Coke, when he found a nice Ibanez JEM just lying in the trash! He picked it up, and got infused with the power of rock! Cliche, no doubt!
The band went on to the local House of Blues to Rock and/or Fucking Roll.

Tier One: Opening Licks - House of Blues
"The Deepest Blues Are Black" by Foo Fighters
"Anyway, Anyhow, Anywhere" by The Who
"Keep Fishin'" by Weezer
"Living After Midnight" by Judas Priest
"Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is" by JET
Some angry Blues artists hang the drummer!
Encore: "About a Girl" by Nirvana

Unfortunately, a man in a skin-tight bodysuit with a boner steals Bill's precious JEM that he found just minutes earlier! Bill chases that rascal down to Mexico, but stops off in Texas for a small burrito. The gas station employees notices his shitty Stratocaster knock-off, and proceed to withold the burrito until he rcosk out. Bugger! He really wanted that burrito!

Tier Two: Amp-Warmers - Gas Station
"I Choose" by The Offspring
"Merry-Go-Round" by Puddle of Mudd
"Let it Slide" by Mudhoney
"Stays in Mexico" by Toby Keith
"Fly Away" by Lenny Kravitz
The gas station employees give Bill his burrito! He munches on it joyfully, and the pick him up while he plays something Hard Rockin' but acceptable for the second tier of a rhythm game!
Encore: "Bad Medicine" by Bon Jovi

Bill drives like a madman in the general direction the guitar-thief went, only to crash into a giant boner erupting out of the Earth! Some hippies run up to Bill, and tie him to a giant stake for ruining the First Annual Boner Festival, but he manages to break his arms free and play some Rock and Roll for the hippies!

Tier Three: String-Snappers - BonerFEST I
"One Step Forward" by The Desert Rose Band
"Cool the Engines" by Boston
"Get Up" by Van Halen
"Garden of Eden" by Guns N' Roses
"Jungle Love" by The Steve Miller Band
The hippies release Bill on one condition: He plays some motherfucking Glam Rock acceptable for the third tier of a rhythm game!
Encore: "Rock On" by T.Rex

The hippies give Bill some experimental... experiments... which he uses, and finds himself in Atlantis. Greg, the ruler of Atlantis, commands Bill to play music in exchange for not being eaten by kraken.

Tier Four: Thrash and Burn - Atlantis
"Don't Treat Me Bad" by Firehouse
"Freedom" by Jimi Hendrix
"This Town" by Green River
"Life in the Fast Lane" by Eagles
"Rock the Night" by Europe
Greg laughs, and releases the kraken! Quick! More Rock!
Encore: "Child of Innocence" by Kansas

Bill gets eaten by the kraken. If you're playing on Easy, he dies from this , then gets shat out and eaten by the Atlantians. If not...
Bill wakes up, naked, covered in sweat and seminal fluids. He appears to be in the middle of Red Square, which is amazing, because, well, he was in another continent beforehand. The communists stand him up at gunpoint, and command him to play his guitar for survival!

Tier Five: Return of the Shredd - Red Square
"Runnin' Down a Dream" by Tom Petty
"Too Fast for Love" by Motley Crue
"Look What the Cat Dragged In" by Poison
"Peanuts" by The Police
"Sting Me" by Black Crowes
The communists revive Joseph Stalin!
Encore: "Shut Up and Dance" by Aerosmith

Stalin shoots at Bill. If you're playing on Medium, he dies from this, and gets gang-raped by a bunch of Russians. If not...
Bill nimbly dodges the bullet, runs up, punches Stalin in the face, and shoots him in the temple. The communists then press a button, and Bill and Stalin's corpse are ejected into the middle of the sevteenth century! Bill is called a witch, and taken to the stocks, where he plays his electric guitar for his life!

Tier Six: Relentless Riffs - The Seventeeth Century
"Rainbow in the Dark" by Dio
"Beating Around the Bush" by AC/DC
"Here I Am" by Skid Row
"I Know a Little" by Lynyrd Skynyrd
"Slide it In" by Whitesnake
The Hard Rockin' Bill was doing broke the stocks! A witch grabs him, and wisks him away to his hide-out!
Encore: "A Daily Anthem/Kiss on the Neck" by David Cook

Bill and the witch arrive at the hide-out. If you're playing on Hard, the witched canabalise Bill. If not...
The witches send Bill back to the time when skin-tight-suit-man-guy was weakest. This ambiguous... thing... sends Bill off to the distant past, where he's laughed at for his outlandish attire, and forced to play Rock.

Tier Seven: Fret-Burners - Some Place
"Burn" by Deep Purple
"Run for Cover" by Quiet Riot
"Come Whatever May" by Stone Sour
"Can't Stop the Night" by Bang Camaro
"Heartbreaker/Living, Loving Maid" by Led Zeppelin
The weird guys start headbanging, and Bill sees STSMG in the vackground! He is mobbed before he can reach him, however!
Encore: "Rattlehead" by Megadeth

Bill finally catches up to the skin-tight-suit-man-guy. He jumps high into the clouds, and Bill tries to fly toward him with his rocket shoes, but he is pulled down by his leigions of fans, and forced to play Rock and Roll!

Tier Eight: Face-Melters - In the Sky with Diamonds
"Take a Ride" by The Timothy Lee Band
"Hocus Pocus" by Focus
"Be Quick or be Dead" by Iron Maiden
"You Need Love" by Styx
"Scuttle Buttin'/Couldn't Stand the Weather" by Stevie Ray Vaughan
Turns out the man Bill strived to beat for so long was actually Jesus! He challenges Bill to a guitar duel, but Bill realises that this game doesn't suck, and he crucifies the fuck out of that bitch!
Final Encore: "I Love Prack: Prack is Great / Prack! / Prack is Yummy in My Tummy / Prack is a Great Substance / Prack was the Cure" by Broom Broom Car

Having defeated the evil Jesus, Bill is teleported to Jew Heaven, and realises that he's become gay! He travels back to Earth, and revives Jesus, and they become great friends, listening to Jazz, and drinking the New Coke all day long.

Last edited by Jakeyfuck on Wed Aug 05, 2009 4:07 pm; edited 3 times in total
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Dr. Adventure
i tell you what im NOT trying to pull my own cock

Number of posts : 1071
Age : 27
Registration date : 2007-12-29

PostSubject: Re: If this were 2007, would you buy this   Mon Jul 13, 2009 1:15 pm

the songs are good
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remember chocolate rain? whatever happened to that guy

Number of posts : 8927
Age : 25
Registration date : 2007-12-29

PostSubject: Re: If this were 2007, would you buy this   Wed Jul 15, 2009 7:15 pm

got rid of bad company, changed whitesnake song, added the timothy lee band
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