Delaware. A communist/fascist paradise in the middle of a war-torn capitalist nation. From this humble land comes Jake Adjutant, a musician with ideals. These ideals are especially present in The Jake Adjutant Band's newest album, We Aren't in a Tub
. Eskewing the Nazi-Fusion of the last two albums, Adjutant has settled back into the genre of Glam-Fusion, to great effect.
This also marks the re-introduction of drummer Kevin J. Repp into Adjutant's music. Arrested in the early '90s for murder, Repp has been placed on parole, and joined Adjutant's band as a prank. This marks the first time The Jake Adjutant Band has had a drummer, and what a drummer. Repp naturally meshes with the band, probably from playing with Adjutant for over fifteen years, adding in drum fills at every opporotunity. Percussion enthusiasts need look no further from this album for the best drumming in over two decades.
The critics generally hate The Jake Adjutant Band's work, but only because it's too different and badass for them. No other band can use their anal to make such great songs with crushing guitar riffs and basslines.We Aren't in a Tub
by The Jake Adjutant Band:Front cover:Back cover:
01: "Extreme Visions of a Man Who Loved to Rape" (Adjutant, Repp) 3:10
02: "Creatively-Titled Song" (Cactus, Schleiden) 2:15
03: "The Ballad of Staple Gun" (Adjutant, Cactus) 5:00
04: "Fuck it All; Especially the Hot Chick in Front" (Adjutant, Repp) 4:20
05: "Anal of Steel" (Adjutant, Cactus, Repp) 2:30
06: "I Want to be a Mermaid" (Adjutant) 5:50
07: "9/11 Reprise" (Adjutant, Repp) 3:45
08: "Anal in the Negative Values" (Adjutant, Schleiden) 5:40
09: "Anal Wrench" (Adjutant, Repp) 4:40
10: "Am I on Fire?" (Adjutant) 1:00
Bonus track: "Have You Tried Inserting it into Your Anal?" (Adjutant) 60:00
The highlight of the album is track 06; a ballad about how no one polled wanted to be a fucking mermaid. Fuck! Mermaids are cool, faggots. Not The Little Mermaid, though. She sucked balls. I was happy when she died.
Another shocking development: The long-lost Jake Adjutant solo album, Pitiful Attempt to be as Metal as Jethro Tull
, has been found! This is a fucking Metal
album, but it still pales in comparison to the Metalness of Jethro Tull. This was recorded in 2008.Pitiful Attempt to be as Metal as Jethro Tull
by Jake Adjutant:
01: "Aqualung" (Anderson, Anderson) 6:32
02: "Cumming on My Shoe" (Adjutant, Lewis) 7:18
03: "Sit on My Lap" (Adjutant, Lewis) 13:27
04: "Ginger Madness" (Adjutant, Maddox) 27:16
05: "Cut-Class Blues" (Adjutant, LePage) 5:48
06: "Bad Reputation" (Jett, Adjutant, Cordell, Laguna, Kupersmith) 7:14
07: "Circling Above" (Adjutant) 2:16
08: "Ohioian Fields" (Adjutant, Lehman) 27:17
Bonus track: "Bulemic Hippos on a Couch" (Adjutant) 57:18
"I was crushed when I lost this album. I cried for weeks. I held a nation-wide search party. How was I supposed to know it was in my mother's basement? Anyway, I love this album. I decided I needed to take this up myself, and left Cactus out of it. This was before Jessie joined the band, and started loathing Brandon, so we co-wrote a song, 'Ohioian Fields', a nice ballad. Looking back on it, I could be as Metal as Jethro Tull now, if I tried. But this was such a milestone in my career that I'd loathe to undermine it in any way."
And in the time it took to write this, he released yet another album! Whee!Now and Forever
by The Jake Adjutant Band
01: "The Kids Are Quite Alright" (Adjutant, Bowie) 3:00
02: "Learn to Fly/Generator" (Grohl, Mendel, Hawkins, Adjutant) 10:00
03: "Why Don't You Get a Job Blues" (Holland, Noodles, K., Welty, Adjutant) 4:00
04: "Anal Recepticle" (Adjutant, Repp) 3:30
05: "Saimese Anal" (Adjutant) 4:30
06: "Dialated Anal" (Adjutant) 5:00
Bonus track: "Time. It Sucks." (The Anti-Time Brigade*) 60:00
The Anti-Time Brigade is made up of Jake Adjutant, Kevin J. Repp, Jessica Schleiden, Cactus and George Kennedy.
The Jake Adjutant Band is currently on a joint-tour with The Taylor Maddox Band.