One Day After Halloween Special 2018

HALLOWEEN SPECIAL AND SHIT:
"hey jakey what are you going as for halloween this year" "oh i've got a great new costume lined up but i need to assemble it on-site" "wait it's really you this time?" "yeah why wouldn't it be me" "nevermind" "so what are you supposed to be eif" "jack frost" "never heard of it" "really? his new album is the current #1 best seller" "oh is it good" "eh" "yo what is up my niggas" "are you ready for some classic style halloween?!" Taylor and Bran bounce out of the kitchen, dressed as Thing 1 and Thing 2, respectively. "where's the cat" "he couldn't make it this year" "tuberculosis very sad" "oh well give him my regards" "will do" The four men turn to leave the house. "WAIT WAIT WAIT" Michelle stumbles and falls down the stairs in her ball of yarn costume, bowling everyone out and down the street to Svart's house, where they are greeted by Donkey Kong. "welcome welcome make yourselves at"
01:
"so uh what are you supposed to be bendik" "i am youtube superstar logan paul" "uh didn't he have a thing he did that people didn't like" "yeah behind me you will see another guest helping me out" The tree behind Bendik spins 180, revealing a girl piloting the tree, and a dummy of a Japanese man swinging from a branch by his neck. "wait a second who are you" "my name is unimportant" "um it kind of is; you can't win the costume contest if i can't call your name" "no i mean my name is actually unimportant" Unimportant holds out her birth certificate. "oh sorry my mistake" "happens all the time"
02:
"so what are you supposed to be" "i am a GLOWING 1000 degree knife!!! watch as i go up against this hot dog!!!" Rachel begins to slice through Emelyn, who is dressed as a hot dog. "ow ow stop" "oh sorry i thought you were a regular hot dog not a woman in a hot dog suit" "it's okay i do look delicious"
03:
"okay listen that's the wrong holiday" "what? on halloween you dress up as your favourite celebrities and mythological creatures; i am dressed as santa" "yeah you can't just be SANTA for halloween" "why not?" "um because uh" "see? you can't come up with a good reason; me being santa for halloween just means that i have successfully resisted getting more than one costume for this year's line-up of holidays" Eif throws his arms up in the air and storms off. He has always hated that woman.
04:
"and i am telling YOU that Pokémon RED was the superior game" "no way!!! Pokémon blue is where it is at!!!" Hattie holds up a little Meowth doll and pulls the string on its back. "meowth that's right!!!" "meowth is a biased judge you can't trust anything he says about this" "well what do you think, donkey kong" "well i was always partial to blastoise-" "gross" "wha-" "bulbasaur is where it is at" "yeah dude get out you're terrible" Brooke shoos Svart away. "hey you jack frost back me up here Pokémon red is the superior game right" "wait weren't you two arguing last year about which ply is best for toilet paper mummies" "yeah but i was wrong about that one; 2 plys is too many and i couldn't get my costume off for three days" "no i was the one who was wrong; my costume fell off before the party was even over!!! 1 ply is not enough!!!" "that's stupid" "YOU'RE stupid" "not as stupid as you" "you take that back" "make me" Hattie jumps on top of Brooke, and the two begin to roll away in a cloud of dust, punching the shit out of eachother.
05:
"hey valerie nice spider-man costume" "th-thanks" "how'd you get up on the ceiling like that" "s-superglue" "oh well it really adds to the effect" Svart gives Valerie a thumbs up and walks off. "w-w-wait h-help i-i-i c-can't get d-down a-and i-i-i-i'm s-so th-thirsty"
06:
"uh are you sure about this ressie i mean i would imagine it's pretty painful" "oh pshaw!!! pshaw i say!!! what kind of leadour of resistance would i even be if i couldn't resist a glowing 1000 degree knife?!" "you've got me there" Rachel begins cutting into Resistance Leadour, but cannot pierce even the fabric of her costume. "jesus what is this costume made of" "polyester i think?" "i can't make even a single scratch on it!!!" Rachel stares in awe at the apparent flame retardant properties of polyester.
07:
"uh piper are you a bowl of cereal this year" "yes indeed!!! i am a delicious bowl of raisin bran!!!" "how many boxes did you need to buy to pull this off" "a dozen or so; go on have a bite" "but what if you run out of cereal and your costume just becomes a bowl costume" "i brought extra boxes don't worry!!! live a little!!!" Svart helps himself to a few spoonfuls of delicious Raisin Bran. "i forgot how great this cereal was" "delicious and nutritious!!! it is the perfect breakfast cereal!!!"
08:
"this is bad" "wh-what's bad doctor?!" Grace lowers her stethoscope. "i'm afraid your friend suffers from a horrible, incurable disease known only as timinchinitis" "oh no no no he was so young" Dozens of single tears pour forth from Sophia's face, staining her auto mechanic costume. "the best i can do is prescribe these painkillers" Grace hands Sophia a box of blanks. "load him up with these, and he will at least not suffer in the short time he has left" "thank you doctor" Sophia gently pulls Mr. Shooty off of the operating table, and loads him with the blanks.
09:
"o-oh!!! th-the g-great cheryl!!! p-please u-use your m-magic t-to g-get m-me off the c-ceiling" "what no way i can't i'm not getting disqualified again" "wh-wha-" "i am going to win the prize this year and your tricks are not going to stop me veronica" "b-but-" "but nothing i worked hard on this oscar the grouch costume and i will not have you ruining my halloween" The Great Cheryl stomps away, angry at Virginia.
10:
"uh are you sure about this rachel 1000 degrees is a lot of degrees" "it will be all right; your costume is made of polyester!!! even the glowiest of knives cannot penetrate polyester!!!" "okay if you say so" Rachel begins to cut through Amber's angel costume, setting her alight. "OH GOD HELP" "THAT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN" A siren blares as Sara aims her mighty hose at Amber, putting out the fire. "i'm uh gonna go change" "that's probably a good idea" Rachel heads outside to discard her costume and grab a new one, as Candice uses the power of her seamstress costume to repair Amber's costume.
11:
"hey nice vampire costume" "nice rock and roll costume" "oh yeah check out my sick jams" Gwendolyn begins to plunk away on a ukelele. "nice plunking; i've always been a fan of a good plunk" "all right now show me what you've got" "oh right yeah" Julia grabs a nearby Svart and sinks her plastic fangs into his neck. "nice; i've never seen someone so young with such impressive form" "i did a lot of training with this videotape collection" Julia holds up a copy of Count Dracula's Wicked Groovy and also Far Out Guide to Neck-Biting: Volumes 1-25 on VHS. "wow, that hasn't been on store shelves in decades" "yeah but it spoke to me more than the modern version, cnt drclas gid 2 nk btng lol" "say what you will, but the man knows how to capture the hearts of youths" "definitely"
12:
"hey ressie do you have any more of that flex tape" "oh yeah check it out" Resistance Leadour sets down her Santa sack and opens it to reveal dozens and dozens of rolls of Flex Tape. "oh sweet can i have some" "sure sure" Resistance Leadour hands Olivia a roll of Flex Tape. "merry christmas" "thanks" Olivia begins to tape up her bride costume, which had gotten snagged on a loose nail.
13:
"hey claire cool pilsbury dough boy costume" Bran reaches in to poke her stomach, but his hand passes right through her ghostly form. "aw man" "oh uh sorry i can poke my own stomach if you want" "it's not the same" Bran walks away to the punch bowl, his entire Halloween ruined.
14:
"hey azalea nice big mac costume" "wha-THIS IS A WHOPPER JR. COSTUME YOU UNCULTURED SWINE" "oh um sorry?" "i can't believe ANYONE would be so FOOLISH as to get those two sandwiches confused" "you must really like whopper jr.s huh" "what no i really like big macs and do not appreciate you comparing them to a scrub sandwich like a whopper jr." "then why are you dressed as a whopper jr. and not a big mac?!" "the whopper jr. costume was really cheap" "ah"
15:
"forgive me father for i have sinned" "tell me all about it" "i accidentally set someone on fire today" "accidentally?" "yeah i thought it would be safe but it wasn't" "well if it was an accident, that's okay; all we need to make this right is a quick baptism" "oh boy" Rachel gets out her rubber ducky as Father Brucie prepares the baptism water. "this will be the greatest baptism in the history of baptistery" "BAPTISTERY?!" Erin falls from the ceiling, ready to perform the baptism. "were you banking your entire halloween on someone saying 'baptistery'?" "yeah i was getting kind of worried to be honest" "do you just like look up words that end in 'stery' and go from there" "no comment"
16:
"hey kathy can i get through here" "if you pay the toll, sure" "please i need to get to the bathroom" "and i need to see george washington before i can let you past" "fine fine" Svart grabs Orange, who is conveniently dressed as George Washington, and shows him to Kathy. "..." "..." "that's not what i meant" "but it's what you said" Kathy sighs and lets Svart through. Little does he know, however, that he also has to pay the toll to get out of the bathroom. Little does Kathy know, however, that Svart can just escape through the window and go back in through the front door.
17:
"h-h-hey m-miss c-could y-you h-help m-me g-get off th-the c-ceiling" "oh sure" Sophia aims Mr. Shooty at Valerie. "AUGH N-NO N-N-NEVERMIND I-I-I-I'VE CH-CHANGED M-MY M-MIND" "okay" Sophia walks off as Valerie breathes a heavy sigh of relief.
18:
"what the fuck bran where have you been" "in this corner, alone" "well come on my thing 1 costume doesn't make any sense without thing 2" "i'm just not in the mood today" "THERE'S ONLY ONE POSSIBLE DAY YOU CAN BE IN THE MOOD" "i'm sorry; you'll have to deputise another thing 2" Bran hands Taylor his Thing 2 sweater. "everyone else here already has a costume!!!" "excuse me i heard you are accepting applications for thing 2" Taylor turns around to see Piper wearing an empty bowl. "uh yeah what's your story" "i was originally a bowl of raisin bran but i kept giving out free samples and i ran out of raisin bran and being just a bowl is kind of silly so i tried cooking up some delicious top ramen to go in the bowl but it's just so hot" "you're hired" Piper takes off her bowl costume and puts on the Thing 2 sweater, so she and Taylor can get out there and mingle.
19:
"hey rachel i thought you were dressed as some kind of big knife" "well uh that costume was pretty dangerous so i swapped it out for something wholesome that can't possibly kill people" "yeah as long as the wick doesn't ignite, your dynamite costume is totally safe" "i know right!!!"
20:
"nice foam finger costume natalie" "thanks" "which team do you root for" "whichever one is number one" "what" "i just shout 'we're number one' over and over and whichever team is number one is then assumed to be the one i am rooting for" "that's absolutely genius" "thanks i know; i go more in-depth in my new book" Natalie hands Svart a copy of her new book, We're Number One - A Guide to Enjoying Sport Without Any of That Pesky 'Knowing Who the Players Are' or 'Understanding the Rules of the Sport'. "this should come in handy next time i accidentally end up at a high school backgammon tournament" "does that happen to you often?" "uh yeah why else would i mention it as though it happens often" "right right"
21:
"h-h-hey r-r-resistance l-lady" "oh hey what are you up to on the ceiling like that" "i-i-i-i g-glued m-myself t-to the c-ceiling f-for m-my costume b-but i-i-i-i n-need to g-get d-down" "oh do not worry spider-man i will resist that glue's adhesion and get you down lickedy and also split" "th-thanks" Resistance Leadour sits down right below Valerie, and begins to resist the adhesive properties of the glue. Within seconds, Valerie falls from the ceiling into Resistance Leadour's lap. "th-th-THANK YOU s-so m-much" "any time you need something resisted, just give me a call" Resistance Leadour hands Valerie her business card, then stands up and walks away while Valerie runs to the kitchen to drink some water.
22:
"..." "..." "so uh" "oh don't mind the demon wings they don't come off" "uh" "well i mean they can but it would be very painful you know" "w-well i-" "oh i'm just kidding check it out" Jezzie snaps her fingers, and her wings disappear. She snaps them again, and her wings reappear. "i just really think the wings set off my costume; lawyers am i right" "r-right" "why are you so nervous? is it because you're dressed as an angel?" "kinda yeah" "oh don't worry!!! i may be an evil demoness but i don't kill people DRESSED as angels; only the genuine article" "g-good to know" "well, enjoy the party!!!" Jezzie flutters off as Amber tries to calm down.
23:
"hey there bran i'm sorry about the whole 'ruining your halloween accidentally' thing so here's a song to try and make it up to you" Claire gives the signal, and Gwendolyn begins plunking away on her ukulele. "i always did enjoy a good plunking" "see it's all-" "wait what happened to your costume" "i felt REALLY bad about what happened so i threw it away; it can no longer hurt anyone else" "i appreciate that" Bran and Claire sit next to eachother, listening to Gwendolyn plunking away their troubles for the rest of the night.
FINALE:
"okay so thank you all for coming yada yada yada it's now time to reveal the winner of the BEST COSTUME AWARD" "hey wait where's jakey" "who" "yeah i haven't seen him all night" A loud, sharp laugh is heard from behind everyone. "a ha ha ha ha ha ha A HA HA HA HA HA HA HA YOU FOOLS" "who said that?!" "sounded like jakey" "where is he?!" "WHILE YOU WERE ALL MEETING AND GREETING EACHOTHER, MY COSTUME LAY UNDETECTED; MY MACHINATIONS FOOLED EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU" Everyone looks around nervously. "LITTLE DID YOU ALL KNOW THAT I WAS HERE RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOUR FACES ALL ALONG" An arm reaches out from within the front door of Svart's house and slides down a small window, revealing Jakey's face inside the door. "WHAT" "I DON'T BELIEVE IT" "OH YES; BELIEVE YOUR EYES, FOR I WAS THE FRONT DOOR ALL ALONG" "well uh best costume goes to-" "HOLD ON A MINUTE" A loud, thunderous voice echoes from all around. "uh-oh" "JAKEY MAY HAVE REPLACED THE FRONT DOOR BUT I DID HIM ONE BETTER" An arm appears from underneath the floorboards and slides down a trap door, revealing Sheriff Antony's face in the floor. "WHAT" "NO" "oh come on he's just lying down under the floorboards anyone could have done that" "but could they have done THIS" Another arm reaches out of the wall and slides down a window, revealing a second Sheriff Antony face. Soon, all four walls, the floor, and the ceiling all show Sheriff Antony faces. "A HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA" "WHAT CLONING YOURSELF IS CHEATING" Svart flips through the rule book. "well uh there is no rule specifically against cloning yourself" "WHAT COME ON" "we'll have to discuss this at next year's board meeting but uh i have to decide a winner right now so" Svart pins blue ribbons to each of Sheriff Antony's faces. "GODDAMMIT"
THE END