Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas Stories

Important parts of the soundtrack:

K Rose:
"Ring of Fire" by Johnny Cash
"Mountain Music" by Alabama
"Volcano" by Jimmy Buffett
"Dark Eyes" by Chet Atkins
"Move it on Over" by Hank Williams Sr.
"Friends in Low Places" by Garth Brooks
"On the Road Again" by Willie Nelson
"The Gambler" by Kenny Rogers
"Hello Darlin'" by Conway Twitty
"Family Tradition" by Hank Williams Jr.
"The Devil Went Down to Georgia" by The Charlie Daniels Band
"If You Ain't Lovin', You Ain't Livin'" by George Strait
"A Few Ole Country Boys" by Randy Travis
"Drivin' My Life Away" by Eddie Rabbitt
"How Great Thou Art" by The Statler Brothers
"I'd Love You All Over Again" by Alan Jackson
"Country Club" by Travis Tritt
"Ride 'em, Cowboy" by Juice Newton
"Good Ol' Boys" by Waylon Jennings
"I'm a Honky Tonk Girl" by Loretta Lynn

K-DST:
"You Got That Right" by Lynyrd Skynyrd
"Child of Innocence" by Kansas
"Brighton Rock" by Queen
"Band on the Run" by Paul McCartney and Wings
"Oh Well" by Fleetwood Mac
"Don't Bring Me Down" by Electric Light Orchestra
"Sharp-Dressed Man" by ZZ Top
"Burn" by Deep Purple
"Sound and Vision" by David Bowie
"Buick Mackane" by T.Rex
"Got My Mind Set on You" by George Harrison
"Blinded by the Light" by Manfred Mann
"Rainbow in the Dark" by Dio
"Slide it In" by Whitesnake
"F.I.N.E." by Aerosmith
"Tiny Dancer" by Elton John
"Voodoo Child" by The Jimi Hendrix Experience
"Rock and Roll Hoochie Koo" by Rick Derringer
"In the Dark" by Billy Squier
"Oh! Darling" by The Beatles

Radio X:
"Lounge Act" by Nirvana
"This Town" by Green River
"Mary Jane" by Megadeth
"Hard to Handle" by Black Crowes
"Stop!" by Jane's Addiction
"Porch" by Pearl Jam
"Dust 'n' Bones" by Guns N' Roses
"Devil to Pay" by RTZ
"Let it Slide" by Mudhoney
"Wasted Years" by Iron Maiden
"The One I Love" by R.E.M.
"They" by The U-Men
"Alex Chilton" by The Replacements
"Shot in the Dark" by Ozzy Osbourne
"Under the Bridge" by Red Hot Chili Peppers
"Siva" by Smashing Pumpkins
"I Wanna Live" by Ramones
"Man in the Box" by Alice in Chains
"Epic" by Faith No More
"Wave of Mutilation" by The Pixies

In addition, the opening theme of the game is Rick Astley's "Never Gonna Give You Up", and after passing any mission, the first ten seconds of the song play.

WEAPONS:

Slot One:
Fists
Novelty boxing glove

Slot Two:
Katana
Cricket bat
Knife
Spoon
Crowbar
Baguette
Oscillating fan

Slot Three:
Grenade
Satchel charge
Denver Post bomb

Slot Four:
9mm pistol
Desert eagle
.357 magnum
Tranquiliser

Slot Five:
Chromed shotgun
Semi-automatic shotgun
Silenced shotgun

Slot Six:
Tec-9
Micro SMG
MP5
PEZ uzi

Slot Seven:
Tommy gun
AK-47
M4
Sleeping pill rifle

Slot Eight:
Bolt-action rifle
M1 Garrand
PSG-1
Scoped squirt gun

Slot Nine:
RPG-7
Semi-automatic minigun
Shoe
Railgun
M-388 Davy Crockett
Homing lamp

Slot Ten:
Parachute
Night-vision goggles
Beer goggles

Slot Eleven:
Flowers
Steelheart CD
Washington Post
Harlequin foetus

VEHICLES:

Super GT

ODD JOBS:
Hidden Packages:
There are 1,000 ANAL MAGAZINES scattered around San Andreas. For every 100 Loc finds, he will recieve an item spawn at each of his safehouses.
100: Body armour
200: 9mm pistol
300: MP5
400: Silenced shotgun
500: Knife
600: Beer goggles
700: Steelheart CD
800: .357 magnum
900: M4
1,000: A new radio station is unlocked! It plays all of the songs from K-DST in a different order!

Gold-Plated German Idols:
There are 100 gold-plated German idols scattered around Holland. For every 10 Loc finds, he will recieve a new item of clothing.
10: Tuxedo
20: Coveralls
30: White t-shirt
40: Black vest
50: Fingerless gloves
60: Bikini
70: Dog collar
80: Socks
90: Giant shoe costume
100: Respect +

Zero missions (open after certain story events are completed):
Zero mission 01: Destroy the Rifa (or else) - Reward: Respect +
Zero orders Loc to kill ten-thousand Rifa with his RC plane before it runs out of fuel! The fuel tank only has enough for three minutes of flying!
Zero mission 02: Bring Supplies to Zero's Comrades in Los Santos - Reward: Respect +
Zero orders Loc to bring three packages to Los Santos with his RC pick-up truck. They need to all be delivered in five minutes or his men will die. What's more is he can only take the packages one at a time!

STORY:
Mission 001: Vinnicacious - Contact: N/A - Reward: Respect +, Contact: Big Devil
OG Loc gets out of prison, after serving a year for assraping Skid Row. Little Devil is there to pick him up. Dialogue ensues, and Little Devil's car is shot up by Welsh grannies! They then get in go-karts and kart to Little Devil's safehouse. Big Devil is there, and asks Loc to take him home.

Mission 002: Wolseley Heights - Contact: Big Devil - Reward: Respect +, Binco and Sub Urban open
Big Devil shoos Loc out of LD's safehouse for being "embarassing to be seen with", so LD takes Loc to get some new clothes and a haircut. They stop at Gay Gordo's and Sub Urban. In town, former American Idol contestant Clay Aiken asks Loc for an autograph. They then return to LD's safehouse, and Big Devil begrudgingly accepts Loc's gangstaosity, and tells Loc to take him home.

Mission 003: Scribble - Contact: Big Devil - Reward: Respect +, 9mm pistol
BD and LD say to Loc, "let's blast some fools", and give him a nine. Loc then drives, while LD and BD blast some Rifa fools. After that success, they stop for some tea. Rifa appear from the Starbucks across the street, and blow up Big Devil's car! Loc then proceeds to blast some civilians! The Devils then tell Loc to take them home.

Mission 004: Scrumpadoceous - Contact: Big Devil - Reward: Respect +, $60, Contacts: Little Devil, Tommy "The Nightmare" Smith
Big Devil gets bored and says "hey, let's go rob Burger Shot as a prank". They then go to pick up some guy off the street. The man they pick up says "hey, I'm Tommy "The Nightmare" Smith". They go to the Burger Shot. The clerk stares out the window as the sun sets. A single tear rolls down the clerk's cheek, and he asks "why", and Loc replies "because we thought it would be funny". The cops then are all over the joint, and the crew has to go to the Pay 'n' Spray to get rid of their wanted level! Then, they tell Loc to take them home.

Mission 005: Black (Black) - Contact: Big Devil - Reward: Respect +, Odd Jobs: Tagging, Nurse
Big Devil is annoyed that Rifa keep tagging over the Grove Street tags, so he and Loc go re-tag. After tagging over five Rifa tags, Big Devil says, "hey, Loc, we gotta go snipe that guy!", to which OG Loc replies, "can't I just shoot him with my pistol?", but Big Devil retorts, "no, snipe him", "but", "SNIPE", so Loc snipes the shit out of Chet. The police see said sniping, and Loc drives with the police in hot pursuit (4*)! Eventually, they crash through the wall of a garage in Doherty, with the cops thinking they died. They climb out unscathed, however! Except Big Devil's left arm is torn off. Oops. Then Big Devil's like "take me home".

Mission 006: Fountain (in My Pants) - Contact: Little Devil - Reward: Respect +, Crowbar
Little Devil decides he wants a fountain for his pad, so him and Loc go down to San Fierro square and steal it, using crowbars. While they're doing this, the Rifa start attacking and set up blockades! After blasting those fools, Loc and Devil get in a car, and ramp off the blockade! They got fountain, however, so Devil tells Loc to take him home!

Mission 007: Fundraiser! In the Thunder and Heat! - Contact: Little Devil - Reward: Respect +, $100
Loc and Devil try a different approach to acquiring the fountain. They try to raise the money to buy it legally! But, of course, they try to steal the money. Loc and Devil spend five hours picking pockets, only to get $200, and a 3* wanted level! They evade the cops and make it back to the hideout $200 richer. Paul then tells Loc to take him home.

Mission 008: Burgle King - Contact: Little Devil - Reward: Respect +, $200, Odd Job: Burglary
Devil seems to have forgotten about the fountain, and goes with Loc to burgle some upper-class homes in the suburbs of San Fierro. They steal a few TVs and such, but the last owner hears them and pulls a gun! They blast that fool, getting a 3* wanted level! They evade the cops, get back to the hideout, and Devil gives Loc some of the money he found in the fool they blasted's sock drawer. George then tells Loc to take him home.

Mission 009: Babe, I Got You, Babe - Contact: Little Devil - Reward: Respect +, Tw@ opens
Devil wants to get some babes to cook for him and clean the crib. He and Loc go and kidnap some ATTRACTIVE WOMEN Loc, Devil and the babes then stop by the internet cafe, Tw@, to troll /mu/. Loc then takes Devil and the chicks to the-crib. Pubette then tells Loc to take her home.

Mission 010: Get on Your Bikes and Ride - Contact: Little Devil - Reward: Respect +, $1,000, Odd Job: Bike Racing
Little Devil has entered Loc in a bicycle race as a prank. He drives Loc to the start, and forces him to race. Loc wins the race, then Little Devil's right arm falls off. Devil then tells Loc to take him home.

Mission 011: Don't Bring Me Down, Bruce - Contact: Tommy "The Nightmare" Smith - Reward: Respect +, $60, Contact: The Truth
Tommy introduces Loc to The Truth, who tells Loc to come to his farm sometime. Tommy then sends Loc to Liberty City to get the master tracks for Muse's "Fillip", so he can put the song in Guitar Hero: World Tour. Loc returns with the tracks, and Tommy tells Loc to take him home.

Mission 012: Show Me the Meaning of Being Lonely - Contact: Tommy "The Nightmare" Smith - Reward: Respect +, $60
Tommy orders Loc to hijack a van full of vinyl headed for Radio X, so Loc calls his friend, Medium-Sized Devil, to help him. They get the truck, and immediately get a 4* wanted level. Devil gets in the back of the van, and starts throwing vinyl at the cops, until they shoot him to death because they "thought it would be funny". Loc immediately rigs the car up with a bomb, and blows up the police station! Then Tommy tells Loc to take him home.

Mission 013: I Can Call on the Hands of Love - Contact: Tommy "The Nightmare" Smith - Reward: Respect +, $60
Tommy tells Loc to blow up Radio X's call-reciever. Then Tommy tells Loc to take him home.

Mission 014: All Along the Broadcasttower - Contact: Tommy "The Nightmare" Smith - Reward: Respct +, $60
Tommy tells Loc to blow up Radio X's signal tower, but he's out of explosives, so Loc hijacks a plane, and flies it into the tower, then parachutes out to safety! Bullwinkle then calls, telling Loc to take him home.

Mission 015: Runnin' Down a Dream - Contact: Tommy "The Nightmare" Smith - Reward: Respect +, $60
Tommy tells Loc to run Radio X's DJ, Sage, out of town. He shows up at her house, and throws her in the back of his dumptruck, which is filled with afterbirth and harequin foetii! He then dumps her in the San Fierro bay, where she swims to Las Venturas. Tommy leans on Loc's shoulder, requesting that Loc take him home.

Mission 016: Shoe - Contact: The Truth - Reward: Respect +, Contact: Ran Fa Li
The Truth slaps Loc on a dirtbike, and shoos him away to Mount Chiliad, where he finds what appears to be a shoe. He picks it up, and races it back to The Truth, who says, "ah, its all coming together", and leaves Loc at his farm in the middle of nowhere. Then Ran Fa Li's assistant calls, and orders Loc over to take him home.

Mission 017: Kill All the Jews - Contact: Ran Fa Li - Reward: Respect +, $1,000, Rifa outfit, Contact: Guppy
Ran Fa Li's assistant, Guppy, tells Loc to go blast some fools. He complies, and decides to head to the beach to get some sun whilst killing Rifa desguised as a Rifa. He kills eleventy, and then is rewarded by Guppy for his actions after he takes Guppy home!

Mission 017: Bring Your Own Bombs - Contact: Ran Fa Li - Reward: Respect +, $2,000, Odd Job: Zero
Guppy tells Loc that Mr. Farlie wants him to pick up some bombs from Zero. He retrieves them using the RC sky crane, and Zero orders Loc to come back later and "check out some of my shit, bro". Loc delivers the bombs, and is handsomely rewarded after he takes Emily home!

Mission 018: Grab - Contact: Guppy - Reward: Respect +
Guppy orders Loc to get some homies, and he tags along for lulz. Loc takes four trips collecting two guys and dropping them off at the safehouse, but on the last trip, the second guy isn't outside the hotel he's supposed to be at! Loc goes inside, and springs a Rifa trap! He slaughters them all, then takes the homie to the hospital. Then Guppy says, "drive me home (or else)", so Loc complies, but halfway there, they're attacked by Rifa, and have to jump out of the car to avoid exploding! The two hop on a Sanchez, and Guppy drives while Loc shoots those Rifa fools. Eventually, they get overwhelmed, and leap onto the back of a plane headed for Liberty City. Guppy tells Loc to blow the plane up, so he sets a satchel charge, and parachutes out of the plane, landing in a small marker! Guppy is there, and he tells Loc to take him home.

Mission 019: Love Gun - Contact: Guppy - Reward: Respect +
Guppy tells Loc that the plane he downed was full of guns, so he goes out to the harbour and dives to the bottom of the river, grabbing guns whilst trying to not deplete his air supply! After he collects the last gun, Guppy tells him a truck is waiting in the Badlands of San Fierro to collect them! Loc puts all the guns in the back of a pick-up truck, and drives away! Around the train station, Rifa attack the shit out of his truck, so Loc goes to the airport, and loads them onto a plane, while fighting off Rifa! He then flies to Angel Pine, and drops the guns into the trailer park, where Guppy is waiting for him! Guppy then tells Loc to take him home.

Mission 020: Tanks for the Memories - Contact: Guppy - Reward: Respect +
Guppy informs Loc of a military parade going down by the beach, and says this is the perfect opportunity to steal a tank! Loc and Guppy cruise over to the beach, and Loc gets in the tank, and Guppy steals a Barracks OL. Guppy leads Loc through a series of jumps and military blockades, eventually making it to the safehouse, where Guppy tells Loc to take him home.

Mission 021: Dress-up - Contact: Guppy - Reward: Respect +
Guppy tells Loc they need one more thing for the attack: Elvis and Rick Astley suits. Loc goes to the costume shoppe, and is told that the last of each was bought by some Rifa motherfuckers! They just left the Chinese place next door, so Loc hops onto a BMX and gives chase! He pulls up alongside the car, and hops inside, killing both Rifa, and securing the suits! He then drives them back to Guppy's place.

Mission 022: Attack! Attack! - Contect: Guppy - Reward: Respect +, Rick Astley and Elvis costumes, Contacts: Little Devil, Jizzy, Odd Job: Party Entertainer
Loc and Guppy drive to the Pleasure Domes, where a Rifa member is having a birthday party. Loc and him go in as Rick Astley and Elvis, respectively. They make it to the Rifa member's birthday cake, where Guppy dives and shoots the shit out of the birthday boy! This enfuriates the Rifa, who start blasting! The rest of the Triads burst in, and are all killed by the disco ball! Loc and Guppy run outside, and get in a car. Ran Fa Li and Guppy ride out on a boat to leave forever. Loc drives to the airport with loads of Rifa on his tail, where he dramatically fakes his own death by driving off the runway! The Rifa then leave! But little did they know, Loc brought a flying car! He flies to the safehouse, where Little Devil informs him something big is going down! Jizzy then calls, saying he likes Loc's style, and tells Loc to get to the Pleasure Domes! Guppy calls Loc and tells him to swim out to the boat and take him and Ran Fa Li home.

Mission 023: With a Little Help from My Friends - Contact: Little Devil - Reward: Respect +, ProLaps opens, Contact: Claude
The Sweet comes around and tries to take Loc and the Devils to Santos, but a magician Vago turns the car into a shoe, then the bridge explodes! Loc avenges The Sweet's car by chasing the magician's Bullet down on his BMX, and proceeding to burtally murder the magician! Claude then appears, and tells Loc to take him home via a game of pictionary!

Mission 024: Defuse Me Harder, Big Boy - Contact: Jizzy - Reward: Respect +, Jeepster spawns at the Pleasure Domes, Odd Job: Car Racing
Jizzy tells Loc to enter a lowrider race, because "why not". Loc goes to the start area, and Zombie Marc Bolan introduces himself. They race, and Zombie Marc Bolan gives Loc his Jeepster, as he needs his money to buy food for him, but on the condition that Loc takes him home.

Mission 025: Hard Mission - Contact: Jizzy - Reward: Respect +, $100,000
Jizzy orders Loc to take a picture of a pedestrian. Then Jizzy's like "take me home".

Mission 026: In My Own Dojo - Contact: Jizzy - Reward: Respect +
Jizzy orders Loc to kill a rival pimp in the dojo. After learning the way of the warrior, Loc pummels him with his shoe, but the pimp escapes! Loc chases him down in a combine harvester, wastes the pimp, steals the car, resprays the car, and drops it off at the Pleasure Domes.

Mission 027: You Need Kool-Aid Baby, I'm Not Fool-Aid - Contact: Jizzy - Reward: Respect +, Perrinenial and Super GT and Tractor spawn outside Turning Tricks
Jizzy has enrolled Loc in driving school, and orders him to go. Loc attends, and gets all gold medals, and is rewarded with a Perrenenial, Super GT and a Tractor spawn outside the school. Harvey's there, crying out of pride for Loc's accomplishments, and tells Loc to take him home.

Mission 028: We Didn't Start the Fire - Contact: Jizzy - Reward: Respect +, Another Part becomes an asset
Jizzy orders Loc to steal a firetruck and rig it with a bomb, then place it inside the fire station, because he "thought it would be funny". Loc soes so, then jumps inside to save everyone! Then Helen appears and tells Loc to take her home.

Mission 029: Shipment of Cars Needing Hijacking for Jizzy - Contact: Jizzy - Reward: Respect +
Jizzy informs Loc of a ship coming in full of cars, and Loc parachutes onto it, and infiltrates it. He then pilots the boat back to the Pleasure Domes, where the entire population of Germany tells Loc to take him home.

Mission 030: Corporate Rivalry - Contact: Claude - Reward: Respect +
Claude orders Loc to destroy a bridge the Triads are building to Santos. Loc questions this, but Claude explains that he has Wendy, and will execute Wendy if Loc does not comply via a game of charades. Loc must find the guy who holds the airport keys in a 7/11 somewhere in San Andreas and kill him to acquire the keys. Loc crashes a plane into the bridge, and reports to Claude. Claude tells Loc to take him home.

Mission 031: Revenge!! - Contact: Claude - Reward: Respect +
Claude orders Loc to fly into Jeremy's house because he said Claude wasn't that cool. Loc goes to the airport, and steals a plane, flying it into Jeremy's house. Jared appears, and tells Loc to take him to a meeting for the Subway corporation. Loc complies, and Jared asks him to guard the meeting to make sure nothing happens. Loc grabs a minigun and must hold off several waves of Jared fanboys with silenced shotguns invading from all angles from reaching the door. Jared then comes out, and tells Loc to drive him home.

Mission 032: Locin' it Up - Contact: Claude - Reward: Respect +, PCJ-600 spawns at Jeremy's house, Girlfriend: Harriet
Claude tells Loc to scavenge the remains of Jeremy's house for his Queen CD that he let Jeremy borrow last month. Loc complies, and finds the CD. Then Harriet comes out and says she thinks guys who search the remains of destroyed houses are hot. She and Loc engage in a passionate kiss. Loc then hits her over the head with a shovel, takes her outside and buries her alive. Loc gives Claude his Queen CD back, and Claude orders Loc to take him home.

Mission 033: Loc's Sorrow - Contact: Claude - Reward: Respect +, Flamethrower
Claude orders Loc to kill Harriet because he "thought it would be funny". He gives Loc a flamethrower, and he burns Harriet to a crisp. Then Claude tells Loc to take him home with a 6* wanted level.

Mission 034: ... fuck! - Contact: Claude - Reward: Respect +, $5, Contact: The Sweet
Claude tells Loc to drive a tanker up to Los Santos using the second bridge, built in 1963. Loc complies, and is rewarded with five dollars by a creepy man with a grey moustache, who tells Loc to take him home.

Mission 035: Visible Light Spectrum - Contact: The Sweet - Reward: Respect +, Vagos colours, Zip and WAL*MART open
The Sweet informs Loc of his ingenius plan to have Loc and the Devils infiltrate the Vagos and destroy their drug ring. Loc and the Devils go to Zip to buy yellow clothing, and go to a Vagos hangout to crash. They go in by digging a hole in the middle of Vinewood, and dig all the way to Glen Park, where they enter the drug lab. They come up next to the main thing, and the guy there is like "hey man", and walks off. Loc blows it up, and they get out of there. The place explodes, and a voice yells "JOHNSON", and the screen cuts to The Sweet, smiling, whilst anally penetrating Denise Robinson. Loc runs her out of town, then The Sweet convinces them to lay low at a dance club. Loc grooves hard to the tune "Stone Cold Crazy", acquiring 1,000,000 points, then the Vagos storm in and yell "YOU RASCAL" at Loc, at which point they storm off and light the entrance on fire. They run out the fire escape, which has been blown up by a Hunter! The Sweet and Loc get into a Hydra on the roof, and the Devils get into their own. Unfortunately, the Vagos have their own Hydras! They blow up the Devils' Hydra, and Loc blows the shit out of the Vagos! Loc and The Sweet parachute onto the roof of the BurgerShot, where he does a barrel roll to honour his fallen comrades. The Sweet says "man, you look disrespectin', foo'; go to WAL*MART and get yo'self some colours, foo'", so Loc does so, and drives The Sweet back to Grove Street, where he chews Loc out, saying "I can't believe you let Brian die, man", to which Loc responds "?".

Mission 036: RIP NEVAR 4GET - Contact: The Sweet - Reward: Respect +
The Sweet tells Loc to get in his pimped-out limousine to drive Big and Little Devil to Los Sepulcros for burial. Loc hops and drives, while The Sweet mingles with Big and Little Devil, laughing all the way to the end of Grove Street, where they're attacked by Los Aztecas! Loc drives to the airport, and loads the bodies into the plane (The Sweet drives around as a decoy), then crashes the plane into the building next to Los Sepulcros, and the bodies land in a ditch! The Sweet then tells Loc to take him home.

Mission 037: Peace Cores - Contact: The Sweet - Reward: Respect +, Contacts: Kendl, Cesar
The Sweet and Loc go to make peace with the Los Aztecas, and Kendl tags along to bake cookies. Once they arrive, Kendl and Cesar fall in love. The Sweet does not approve, and starts cutting himself. Loc takes him to the hospital, so he doesn't die of blood loss. He stays by his side in the hospital for days, until he recovers, telling Loc to take him home.

Mission 038: OfficeMax - Contact: The Sweet - Reward: Respect +, Contact: Ryder
The Sweet sends Loc to meet up with Ryder in a helicopter. After Loc leaves, the camera shows The Sweet cutting himself. Ryder flies Loc to do some fly-bys of an office building. After Loc blasts some fools, Ryder crashes the heli into the tower, and he and Loc are trapped by the wreckage and fires! Loc grabs a fire extinguisher, and extinguishes the fires by the stairs. He and Ryder go up to the roof, and parachute off. Ryder injures his leg in the fall, and Loc must drive him home without hitting anything, or else the bone will be driven into Ryder's neck, killing him instantly.

Mission 039: Magos - Contact: The Sweet - Reward: Respect + , Contact: Big Smoke
The Sweet sends Loc and Big Smoke to go destroy a mall the Vagos opened up nearby. Big Smoke drives Loc there, and Loc takes out the mall security, then lobs molotovs into the windows of each shop. Big Smoke then pulls up, and yells "Get In, Dawg", and drives Loc to San Fierro because he "Thought It Would Be Funny". Smoke then has Loc drive him home, before his favourite show, Friends, is on. Loc drives Smoke there in the five minutes before Friends, but when they get there, Smoke says, "Oh, Right; They Cancelled My Favourite Show Several Years Ago; My Bad".

Mission 040: Girls' Night Out - Contact: The Sweet - Reward: Respect +, Contact: Big Bear
The Sweet orders Loc to kill him. Loc replies "dude, no". The Sweet retorts with "come on, man, don't be lame". Loc gets tired of this, and takes The Sweet to WAL*MART to get some nice items. Once they achieve this goal, The Sweet inserts the items rectally, and feels much better. Right before entering the Cul-de-Sac of Grove Street, The Sweets tells Loc that he needs a praise band. They roam all over San Fierro, the Badlands and Los Santos, eventually finding six members. One of the members introduces himself as Big Bear, and tells Loc to come work for him after he finishes his contractual obligations with Big Smoke, Ryder, Cesar and Kendl. Loc replies, "o ok". Then Bear tells Loc to take him home.

Mission 041: Back in the U.S.S.R. - Contact: Cesar - Reward: Respect +
Cesar commands Loc to fly to Cuba and get him some nice cigars. Loc flies into Cuban airspace, and the Cubans greet him with a small batallion. Loc slaughters them all, and steals some nice cigars. He flies back to Cesar, who puffs the cigars giddilly and tells Loc to take him home.

Mission 042: Dear Prudence - Contact: Cesar - Reward: Respect +, Cuban cigars spawn at Loc's house on Grove Street
Cesar informs Loc that he picked up the wrong cigars! He sighs, and flies back to Cuba, where they shoot him down with a surface-to-air missle! Loc loses all his weapons except his knife in the crash, and is forced to sneak into Castro's house and steal the cigars. He then runs to the airport, and hops into a plane with all his weapons inside it! Loc gears up, and flies back to San Andreas, where Cesar is waiting at the airport. He commands Loc to drive him home, and puffs his new cigars with glee, again telling Loc to take him home.

Mission 043: Loco Low Co. - Contact: Cesar - Reward: Respect +, McDonalds opens
Cesar orders Loc to destroy a lowrider mod shop, right next to the hospital. He proceeds to do this, and crashes a plane into it. Cesar then calls, asking Loc to pick him up something to eat. Loc drives to McDonalds, and right after he gets his food, some Mexicans drive-by the shit out of his ride! Loc drives like a madman to get away, careful not to destroy his car, as Cesar wanted three tonnes of food, but also careful not to let the food get cold before he gets to Cesar's, and ramps over some houses! Unfortunately, he lands on Cesar's homeboy, Hector! Loc picks him up, and has to decide whether to give Cesar his food or take Hector to the hospital first! They're an equal distance away, so he decides to drop off Cesar's food, so it doesn't get cold. Loc then drives Hector to the hospital to get treated for a broken pinky toe. Then Hector's like "take me home".

Mission 044: Racy Stacy - Contact: Cesar - Reward: Respect +, lame featherless hat
Cesar has entered Loc into a Hydra race! Loc races like there's no tomorrow, and comes out on top. After his acceptance speech, he recieves a lame featherless hat and some lousy respect. Zombie Marc Bolan approaches him, and tells him that if he's ever in Las Venturas, he should look him up, then tells Loc to take him home.

Mission 045: Girls' Night Out - Contact: Kendl - Reward: Respect +, Bananaman costume
Kendl wants Loc to take her shopping. Loc is like "good for you", but Cesar promises to get him a Bananaman costume for Halloween if he does this. Loc merrily skips to his car, yelling "OH BOY OH BOY OH-etc.". Loc takes Kendl to the shops, and decides to blast some fools while Kendl shops. He gets back, and Kendl shows Loc the "wonderful things she purchased". But, just off Lancer Street, a Hydra attacks! Loc gets into a Hydra abandoned at the side of the road, and flies away. Kendl gets so nervous, she proceeds to ingest the lawnmower she purchased. Loc flies between two towers, but the other Hydra crashes straight into one! Kendl orders Loc to take her home, so he flies over Grove Street and pushes her out.

Mission 046: That's Our Ryder! - Contact: Ryder - Reward: Respect +, food for me spawns outside Ryder's pad
Ryder tells Loc that he sold Kendl into slavery to buy food for him. Loc races after the slavers, and gets his woman back. She is in bad condition, and needs transport to the hospital. Loc complies, and the men give her a breath mint, and she comes back to full life. Loc then drives her home at her request.

Mission 047: Booking a Gig - Contact: Ryder - Reward: Respect +
Ryder informs Loc of a book he just finished writing. He asks Loc to take him to the Extreme Biography Publishing Company to get his book published. Once they get there, the manager tells Ryder that his book is lame! In retaliation, Ryder burns down the building, leaving Loc to exit the building on his own! He heads towards the door, but he hears a cry from Steve on the fortieth floor! He yells "help me Loc", and Loc runs up the stairs thirty-five floors and rescues Steve! They head down the stairs, and Steve stubs his toe! Loc then has a minute-and-a-half to drive him to the hospital before he perishes from his fatal wound! Once they get there, Steve is put onto a stretcher, and says to Loc "hey man, I'll call you when I get out, yo", and Ryder tells Loc to drive him home.

Mission 048: Clogging the Server - Contact: Ryder - Reward: Respect +, Anal Magazines and the rolling pin spawn at Loc's house, miner's hat
Ryder informs Loc that his toilet is clogged. He gives Loc a miner's hat, and they plunge into the sewers for a closer look. After taking five steps, they're ambushed by Rifa! After slaughtering them all with a rolling pin Loc found on the ground, they find the source of the problem: a pile of limited edition Anal Magazines! After reading the delightful commentary by E.C. Lewis and J.C. Adjutant, the pair drag them to their respective houses in forklifts.

Mission 049: Two Become One - Contact: Big Smoke - Reward: Respect +, Sin Against God side missions open
A Vago and Smoke's cousin have become one! Loc drives to Fierro and steals a sky crane, and uses it to lift their car in Santos. He then flies them to the Become-Two machine, and drops the sin against god in. Then Smoke says "Thanks Dawg" and asks Loc to fly him and his cousin home. On the way back, the Vago gives chase in a Hydra! It tries to become one with Smoke's cousin again! Once Loc gets back to Smoke's, he presses a button and detonates the Hydra. When questioned as to why he didn't do it earlier, he says "I Thought It Would Be Funny".

Mission 050: Take a Cha-Cha-Chance - Contact: Big Smoke - Reward: Respect +
It's Big Smoke's grandfather's birthday! Loc goes to the party, only to have it attacked by Vagos! Loc gets in the Hunter parked out back, and blows up the bridge! Then he realises that the cake has a bomb in it! Loc sprints out of the Hunter and chucks molotov cocktails through the house windows, burning everyone inside alive! Smoke replies "Thanks Dawg That Could Have Been Ugly", and his grandfather retorts "Yes, Thank You Loc" and he and Smoke proceed to make out. While this is happening, Loc goes to have a tea party with some Rifa, who then tell Loc to take them home.

Mission 051: WAKKA-WAKKA-DOODOO-YEAH - Contact: Big Smoke - Reward: Respect +
Smoke sends Loc to the moon to kill aliens because they stole his Steelheart CD! Loc goes to the nearby NASA HQ, and steals the shiniest rocket the have. Fortunately, once ignited, it hones in on the moon and automatically flies there; unfortunately, he has to sit between two large Albanian women with excrutiatingly severe body odour, the kid behind him keeps throwing up the whole time, the flight attendants ran out of Dr. Pepper and salted peanuts, the in-flight movie is BioDome with Polly Shore, and three of the rocket's engines burned out! So they went into a tailspin, and crashlanded on the moon and exploded in a giant fireball and EVERYBODY DIED, except for Loc, because he had his tray table up and his back in the full upright position! He crawls from the twisted burning wreckage for three full days, dragging along his big leather suitcase, garment bag, his tenor saxophone, twelve-pound bowling ball and his lucky, lucky autographed glow-in-the-dark snorkel. But finally he arrives at the world-famous ALIEN MOON BASE, where the towels are oh-so fluffy! And you can eat your soup right out of the ashtrays if you wanna! Don't worry; they're clean! Unfortunately, there were loads of Rifa outside the base. Loc slaughters them, then disguises himself as the pizza guy to get inside undetected. They strip-search him, and find that he's clean, so he puts the pizza on the counter, then pulls his nine out of his anal! He slaughters the aliens, and gets the Steelheart CD back! He steals a UFO and returns the CD to Smoke, who tells Loc to take him home.

Mission 052: Cum! - Contact: Big Smoke - Reward: Respect +
Smoke has opened a portal to the Jurassic period! Loc goes in to close the portal, but Murdock is there, and he has Elizabeth! If Loc blasts Murdock, Elizabeth is sure to die, so Murdock gets away. Chasing after Murdock, Loc meets a Triceratops named Joe. He and Loc ride over to Murdock's sanctuary, and Joe accidentally Elizabeth! Murdock shoots Joe and kills him, leaving Loc open to blast Murdock! But Loc's gun has turned into a stick! Fuck! Realising he can't defeat Murdock, he runs off, finding Gwonam! They then squadala off to Murdock's temple, and Loc calls Murdock not-that-cool! Murdock runs off, crying, and goes an hero! Gwonam and Loc squadala into San Andreas, and Smoke closes the portal by shitting in his pants. Gwonam then flies off to Venturas, telling Loc to call him some time. Then Smoke tells Loc to take him home.

Mission 053: Twisted Metal - Contact: Big Smoke - Reward: Respect +
Smoke wants to start an ice cream truck business, but the only ice cream truck in the country is controlled by the Rifa! Loc goes to the Badlands in Fierro, and fights through a giant fortress filled with auto-turrets and snipers to get the truck, and drives it to the Fierro-Santos bridge, being chased by Rhinos, Hydras and NRGs, but it's blocked by Rifa! Fuck his life! He drives to a lock-up in Northern Fierro, then comandeers a Hydra, which he crashes into the blockade! Unfortunately, he cannot find a car to get the truck with, so he must sprint whilist still being chased! What's more, Heather is being attacked by birds! Loc slaughters the birds, then they run to the lock-up, getting into the ice cream truck and driving to Smoke's house! Once there, Smoke says "Take Me Home", but Loc informs him that he already is home! So Smoke says "Take Me To The Pier, Then Take Me Home", so Loc complies while being chased by Rifa. Before departing, Smoke straps a bomb to Loc to motivate him to do it quickly! Unless Loc gets back in under a minute, Smoke detonates the bomb!

Mission 054: You Can't do That - Contact: Big Bear - Reward: Respect +, cans of Sprite and gel pens spawn at Loc's pad
Big Bear has entered Loc into a jet-ski race! Zombie Marc Bolan is there, and says that Loc won't win so easily this time. Loc wins, and Zombie Marc Bolan is like "look me up some time bro", then asks Loc to take him home.

Mission 055: Clubbin' - Contact: Big Bear - Reward: Respect +
Bear wants to own a night club! the two wait until midnight, and decend through a nightclub's skylight by rope. There are guys in there, so Bear pulls out a flamethrower and torches the place. He then uses his hookshot to pull him and Loc to safety. They go to another night club, which Bear buys with the cans of Spirte and gel pens Loc won in the race. Then Bear's like "drive me home", but Godzilla blocks the way! Loc has to blast Godzilla, then take Bear home.

Mission 056: The-Mission - Contact: Big Bear - Reward: Respect +, Victim opens, Contact: Steve
Big Bear wants to get a haircut, so he has Loc drive him to Old Reece's. When they get there, it's closed! So he has Loc drive him to the Marina Beach hair salon, but it's closed, too! Then, they drive to the one near Emmet's, which is also closed! Bear says that Gay Gordo's in Fierro is their only hope, so Loc drives to it, only to find it closed! Loc hits a ramp, and flies into the desert, heading towards Venturas at an alarming rate! When he gets to the hair salon, several Vagos are there getting their hair permed! Loc kills them all, and he and Bear get expensive haircuts, then Bear tells Loc to take him home.

Mission 057: Clues, Part One - Contact: Steve - Reward: Respect +
Steve tells Loc to find the clue somewhere in San Andreas!

Mission 058: Clues, Part Two - Contact: Steve - Reward: Respect +
Steve tells Loc to find the clue somewhere in San Andreas!

Mission 059: Clues, Part Three - Contact: Steve - Reward: Respect +
Steve tells Loc to find the clue somewhere in San Andreas!

Mission 060: Putting it All Together - Contact: Steve - Reward: Respect +, Contact: The Tea Party Trio
Steve has used the clues to find the location of the evil empire! Loc flies a plane into the evil empire building, and forgets to bail out! He's trapped on the fifty-second floor of the evil empire, and has to fight his way through fifty-two floors of lightsabre-wielding dudes! He goes into the basement, and the leader offers him a donut. He accepts, and they offer him a place in the empire. He asks if his friend Steve can join, and they say yes. Loc pilots a boat to the shore, and Steve is like "take me home".

Mission 061: The Tea Party Trio - Contact: The Tea Party Trio - Reward: Respect +, black Sentinal, Contact: The Truth
Loc arives at Gwonam's cottage, and he, The Truth and Zombie Marc Bolan are having a tea party! They give Loc a black sedan because it's his birthday! Gwonam and Zombie Marc Bolan say they'll be in town, and leave Loc and The Truth to converse, and The Truth requests that Loc take him home.

Mission 062: Leaving Forever - Contact: The Truth - Reward: Respect +, Contacts: Gwonam, Zombie Marc Bolan
The Truth says "take me to the airport (or else)", and Loc takes him to the airport. The Truth then disappears, and is seen on the wing of a plane that is taking off. Then Ryder teleports to Loc's location and says "take me home".

Mission 063: The Faces of Evil, Part One - Contact: Gwonam - Reward: Respect +
Gwonam informs Loc that they have to go to the island of Koridai, and destroy the Faces of Evil! Gwonam also says "it is written: only Loc can defeat Ganon". Loc wants to grab his stuff, but Gwonam informs him that there is no time and his nine will be enough. They get in a plane and squadala to Koridai. Once there, Loc has to destroy Rifa invading the island with a turret! He stands atop the plane, gunning down Rifa. After this happens, Gwonam realises that he forgot the map! He berates Loc, saying "how could you let me forget the map!!!1", and does a barrel roll, which causes Loc to fall off, and he has to swim to Venturas, where Sally is waiting. She tells Loc to take her home.

Mission 064: Singalong Junk - Contact: Gwonam - Reward: Respect +
Ganon is trying to steal Gwonam's collection of Princess Diana commemorative plates! Gwonam tells Loc to get a dumptruck filled with "a volitile substance" to drop on Ganon. Loc retrieves it, and goes to Las Colinas to dump it on Ganon. The substance (which turned out to be shit) is dumped onto Ganon, causing him to say "eeewww". Some Vagos see the dumptruck, and start chasing Loc. Loc evades them by doing a wheelie through an alley, causing all the Ballas to crash. Gwonam is at the other end, and tells Loc to take him home.

Mission 065: The Sixty-Fifth Mission - Contact: Gwonam - Reward: Respect +, princess outfit
Gwonam tells Loc to go to the shops and get a princess outfit. Loc returns with said outfit, and Gwonam tells him to wear it for his amusement. They then go to a nightclub, Loc in full dress, and dance. Loc has to score 15,000,022.5 points to proceed, no more, no less. After the dance, Gwonam says "that was amazing cum fly me home cum". So Loc steals a plane, and flies over Gwonam's house, where he jumps out whilist yelling "squadala". After this mission, Loc recieves six wanted stars.

Mission 066: Under Control - Contact: Gwonam - Reward: Respect +, RATM shirt
Gwonam tells Loc to go to Vice City to get Rage Against the Machine's autographs at a show they're playing. Loc flies to Vice City, and makes it to the show. Once he gets there, security rushes him backstage, and Zach says "Tom! There you are! Come on, we're going on in two minutes!". So they go on, and play an entire set of Beatles covers. After the show, the real Tom Morello shows up, and Zach has security run him out of town. Loc joins in on the fun, and they all run him out of town in go-karts. Gwonam is on the town border, and tells Loc to drive him home. Once home, Gwonam sells the autographs to buy food for him.

Mission 067: Prices to Pay - Contact: Gwonam - Reward: Respect +
Loc walks into Gwonam's hut and Gwonam says "here, have some respect", and Loc replies "thank you for the respect".

Mission 068: Revenge! - Contact: Zombie Marc Bolan - Reward: Respect +
Someone has raped Zombie Marc Bolan's daughter! Fuck! He sends Loc to kill the responsible party. Loc tracks him down to Caligula's, and blasts him. Johnny Sindacco is there, and tells Loc to take him home.

Mission 069: Mistakes - Contact: Zombie Marc Bolan - Reward: Respect +, Contact: Ran Fa Li
It turns out Loc killed the wrong guy! Zombie Marc Bolan has placed a bug on the culprit's bike, but it turns out it's a flying bike! Loc steals a Hydra, and blows the rapist's bike up. The bike can apparently talk, and asks Loc to take it home.

Mission 070: I'm Sailing Away - Contact: Ran Fa Li - Reward: Respect +
Ran Fa Li is starting a cruise shipping business! Of course, Loc has to advertise for the business to be successful! He drives around San Andreas, putting fliers up! But while he's doing this, some Rifa start tagging over the fliers! Loc kills the Rifa, and re-puts up the fliers. Ran Fa Li walks up to Loc to congratulate him, and orders Loc to take him home.

Mission 071: God of the Brocean - Contact: Ran Fa Li - Reward: Respect +
Ran Fa Li tells Loc to go see Neptune, God of the Ocean to make sure he doesn't mess up their plans. Loc drives a flying Rhino up to the Heavens, and blasts Neptune! But, then he trips, and has to deploy his parachute! He has to land in a target; the closer to the centre he gets, the more points acquired. Then Ran Fa Li asks Loc to take him home.

Mission 072: Interviewin' - Contact: Ran Fa Li - Reward: Respect +
Ran Fa Li informs Loc that for the cruise shipping business to succeed, he needs a crew. Loc goes to a building and interviews each candidate, carefully considering the benefits of each one, when suddenly some Rifa jump through the window! Loc shoos them away by wagging a broom in their faces, then decides who to recruit! Then the crew order Loc to take them home, so he makes five trips going to houses all over San Andreas within the time limit!

Mission 073: BEARS - Contact: Ran Fa Li - Reward: Respect +
The Martians have invaded San Andreas! They're trying to get into the Four Dragons, and Ran Fa Li's cruise shipping papers are in there! Loc goes to the top of the casino, and snipes 2,500. If he were to have let one inside, he would have failed the objective and recieved a harsh scolding from Ran Fa Li, who tells Loc to take him home if the objective is completed.

Mission 074: I Knew I Forgot Something - Contact: Ran Fa Li - Reward: Respect +, Contact: Woozie
It's the opening day of Ran Fa Li's cruise shipping business, but Ran Fa Li realises that he doesn't have any ships! He orders Loc to get parts to make one, scattered randomly in San Andreas. He returns, and Ran Fa Li makes a ship out of paper mache. It sails fifty feet out to sea, then explodes, killing everybody on board. Ran Fa Li's then like "oh well it wasn't meant to be" and he and Loc skip in a field of posies until Loc has to take him home.

Mission 075: Screams Break the Silence - Contact: Woozie - Reward: Respect +
Woozie welcomes Loc, telling him they have a lot of serious, boring work to do, when he suddenly turns into a werewolf! He tells Loc to get Jenny, as she's the only one who can cure it. Loc finds Jenny in a randomly-generated kitchen somewhere in Liberty City, and flies her back to San Fierro, where she shits on Woozie's face, instantly curing him! He then states "I can't believe you let Brian die, man", to which Loc retorts "?" "btw I'm blind rofl" "ok" "who cares". Jenny then tells Loc to take her home.

Mission 076: Have You Donated to Haiti Yet?! - Contact: Woozie - Reward: Respect +
Woozie sends Loc to look for property in Haiti. He finds a sweet pad in the downtown area, and goes to city hall to buy it. He buys it with five cans of Sprite and a yellow gel pen. He returns to the pad to fix it up a bit, but it's gone, and in its place is a shoe! Loc flies back to Fierro to give Woozie the shoe, which he chucks through a Rifa's car window! Loc scolds him for abusing a shoe like that! Woozie calmly slaps Loc and tells him to take him home.

Mission 077: Clogging into the System - Contact: Woozie - Reward: Respect +, Navy uniform
Woozie's toilet is overflowing! He sends Loc to fix it, but he gets sucked in! He awakens in Narnia, where the Rifa have kidnapped Mr. Tumnus! Loc starts crying, and enters a ski race. After he wins, he wakes up in the sewers to find a giant rat blocking his way! He blasts it, and climbs up a ladder, and appears in Ryder's toilet! Ryder calls him a busta, and pulls him out. He and Loc go to a Navy base to steal a battleship, and when they get to the captain's cabin, Ryder proceeds to rape the captain! After assuming control of the ship, Admiral Ryder orders Corporal Loc to take him home. Afterward, Loc recieves the Navy uniform which allows him to enter military installations wthout acquiring a wanted level!

Miision 078: Personal Eradicator of Zordon - Contact: Woozie - Reward: Respect +, giant novelty foam mask of Loc
Woozie greets Loc, telling him to have a seat in his hot tub to bathe with some hot babes, but all of a sudden, he turns into a PEZ dispenser! Loc runs him to the space station, steals a rocket, and flies to the moon, where he finds the item in a random location on the moon! Afterward, he uses it on Woozie, who then turns back to normal! Then he's like "take me home", so Loc complies, but arrives back at Earth to be pelted with fireballs by a giant PEZ dispenser version of Ronald Reagan! He gets into a Dodo and blasts it, causing it to fall on a Grove Street neighbourhood! Ryder then calls, and calls Loc a busta, causing Loc to cry. Then Smoke appears and tells Loc to take him home, and Woozie does the same. Loc stews on which to take home for hours, but eventually decides to flip a coin.

Mission 079: Stayin' Alive - Contact: Woozie - Respect +, Contact: Zombie Marc Bolan
Woozie has signed Loc for a degree in Meteorology from the University of Anal in Chicago! A montage of Loc studying hard for the next six months plays. The montage ends with Loc recieving his degree, and Woozie watching with tears in his eyes. Woozie then tells Loc to take him home.

Mission 080: Kickstart My Marc - Contact: Zombie Marc Bolan - Reward: Respect +, Contact: Guppy
It turns out Zombie Marc Bolan raped Sara! Loc gets in a Hotknife and chases Zombie Marc Bolan in his Mini from the desert to the Venturas airport, where Zombie Marc Bolan crashes into a tree and gets decapitated by branches. Sara appears to thank Loc, and tells him to take her home.

Mission 081: Big Fan - Contact: Guppy - Reward: Respect +, Contact: Gilbert Gottfried
Guppy informs Loc that Gilbert Gottfried is at the Venturas airport. Loc rushes to the airport to get an autograph. But when he gets there, Gottfried has already gotten in his limo! Loc then takes out an RPG-7 and blows up the limo! He goes to call Guppy to tell him the news, but Gilbert Gottfried appears behind him! He tells Loc he likes his style and wants his help protecting him at gigs with his band, The-Great. Then he tells Loc to take him home.

Mission 082: Amplification - Contact: Gilbert Gottfried - Reward: Respect +, $400, silenced shotgun, Contact: Shopkeepour
Gilbert needs some amps before he can go on stage. He gives Loc $400 to acquire a stack of them, but Loc realises that this isn't enough, so he sneaks into the amp store at night with a silenced shotgun, hoping to steal some amps. However, as soon as he steps in the door, he trips over a shoe! Shopkeepour rushes downstairs and says hello. Loc asks politely if he can have some amps, and Shopkeepour shakes his head, saying he needs a couple favours first. The first of which is for Loc to take him home.

Mission 083: Wine is Fine, but Whiskey's Quicker - Contact: Gilbert Gottfried - Reward: Respect +
Gilbert can't take it any more. He's on the Fierro-Venturas bridge, about to jump! Loc wastes no time in jacking a Hydra and flying underneath Gilbert. After this, he is careful not to change in elevation or tilt, as that would kill Gilbert. Loc flies him over the local prison and kicks him in. The prison warden congratulates Loc on his good work, and tells Loc to take him home.

Mission 084: Jubulations! - Contact: Gilbert Gottfried - Reward: Respect +
Gilbert has asked Loc to meet him at the local bowling alley. Gilbert says "oh, Loc, it's good that you're here! Take me home".

Mission 085: Final Preparations - Contact: Shopkeepour - Reward: Respect +
Shopkeepour tells Loc that he's almost completed his Pokedex! He has the first 150 Pokemon, but he still needs Mew to complete it. Loc flies to the S.S. Anne, and pushes the truck, but there's no Mew! Shopkeepour suggests trying the event at the GameStop in Liberty City, so Loc flies there, and is ambushed by skeletons! Loc fights through them, then uses WiFi to download Mew into a Pokeball. Then Shopkeepour tells Loc to take him home.

Mission 086: Gateway - Contact: Shopkeepour - Reward: Respect +
Shopkeepour has perfected drink-holding technology by way of the plastic bottle. Loc rockets up to the moon, where he meets an exact clone of himself, who tells Loc to take him home.

Mission 087: Ticket to Ride - Contact: Shopkeepour - Reward: Respect +
Shopkeepour informs Loc of someone who ripped off some merchandise, and gives Loc his licence plate number. Loc stands in front of the store, waiting to jack the man's car, and shoot him. If Loc lets the car go by, he loses the trail forever. If Loc jacks the wrong car, the man gets scared and runs away. When Loc jacks the car, he finds the man's son in the back seat, who tells Loc to take him home.

Mission 088: Jacques - Contact: Shopkeepour - Reward: Respect +, forklift spawns outside Big Devil's pad, Contact: Tony
Shopkeepour is out of coffee! He sends Loc with Tony to get some coffee from the Pentagon. They fly to the Pentagon and Tony snipes the guards outside while Loc infiltrates the building. There's a guy by the coffee pot, so Loc asks polietely for the coffee, but the guy transports himself into another dimension! As Loc grabs the coffee, Tony calls him requesting back-up! Loc rushes outside to see Tony engaged in a swordfight with the Prime Minister of Ireland! Loc shoots the Prime Minister of Ireland's sword, and the Prime Minister of Ireland turns into a bear with the power to control time! Loc sends out Blaziken, but the Prime Minister of Ireland Bear devolves him into Chikorita! Loc and Tony run to get into the Hotknife, and Tony dives while Loc shoots. Loc shoots water at the Prime Minister of Ireland Bear, causing the Prime Minister of Ireland Bear to fall into a portal to another dimension! Loc and Tony deliver the files to Shopkeepour, and Tony tells Loc to take him home.

Mission 089: Goodnight, Sweet Prince - Contact: Shopkeepour - Reward: Respect +
Shopkeepour informs Loc of a rival store owner. He tells Loc to take pictures of him cheating on his wife, so Loc grabs a camera and takes incriminating photographs of the rival store owner. He runs out, holding a scone, so Shopkeepour pulls up and drives while Loc shoots. Shopkeepour eventually loses control of the car, and Shopkeepour's car careens into a tree and explodes, causing Loc to go into a blind rage and hit the rival over the head with a hammer. A pedestrian then calls an ambulance, and Brock tells Loc that the rival shop owner has permanent brain damage and will never walk again, never realising his dream of becoming a major league baseball star. He then tells Loc to take him home.

Mission 090: National - Contact: Shopkeepour - Reward: Respect +, tennis shoes
Shopkeepour is starting a basketball team, and he wants Loc to play forward! The only catch is, Loc is the only player he has! Loc goes to recruit some Rifa for the team, but they start shooting him! Eventually, some Grove Street Families join in, and the Rifa call for back-up! Eventually, large riots start all over Los Santos! Loc realises that the only way he can stop these riots are by creating an alternate universe where he didn't contact the Rifa! Loc does so, and asks some Grove Street Families to be on the team instead. Then Skeeter appears and tells Loc to take him home.

Mission 091: Abort Mission! - Contact: Tony - Reward: Respect +
Tony is pregnant! He and Loc dance in a fountain of aborted foetii and after a couple minutes of this, Tony tells Loc to take him home.

Mission 092: Flyin' Like an Aeroplane - Contact: Tony - Reward: Respect +, airplane schematics appear at Loc's house
Tony says the Rifa have a base in Vietnam! Loc flies a plane to Vietnam, and, all of a sudden, he's surrounded by Rifa! Loc calls for a carpet bombing, but Tony tells him that the airplane hasn't been invented yet! Loc quickly invents the airplane, and the B-52s drop bombs on the area! Unfortunately, the tunnels collapsed around Loc! He digs his way out and retrieves Woozie's money, then Lieutenant Dan tells Loc to take him home.

Mission 093: Ma Belle - Contact: Tony - Rewrard: Respect +, $60, Contact: Tommy "The Nightmare" Smith
Tony tells Loc to get him some peanuts. Loc drives to the Kwik-E-Mart and purchases a good-sized bag. He returns it to Tony, who then eats the peanuts. They're spoiled! Tony tells Loc to blow up the local cotton candy factory, so Loc gets a bomb and destroys the Oreo factory. He then climbs to the top of the tallest tower in San Fierro and snipes Tony! Tony falls, but the bullet also pierces Michelle! Loc parachutes off the tower, and picks up Michelle, then runs her to his car. But inside the car is a bomb! Loc has to rush Michelle to the hospital before the bomb explodes! What's more, he's being chased by clowns on NRG-500s! Loc drops Michelle off at the hospital, where the doctors say she'll make a full recovery in a couple of days. Tommy "The Nightmare" Smith is there, and tells Loc to take him home.

Mission 094: Would You Still Remember Me? - Contact: Tommy "The Nightmare" Smith - Reward: Respect +, $60
Tommy has Freebird's solo on proud display in his office. He tells Loc to guard it while he goes out for a piss. Loc turns on the A/C, then proceeds to turn on the Spectravision, and he's just about to eat that little chocolatey mint on his pillow that he loves so very, very much when all of a sudden, there's a knock at the door. Loc wonders who it could be, and calls out "who is it", but there's no answer. "Who is it?!" No answer. Loc screams "WHO IS IT" at the top of his lungs, but they aren't saying anything. So, finally he goes over, and, just as he suspected, it's a big fat hermaphrodite with a Flock of Seagulls haircut and only one nostril. Oh, how Loc hates it when he's right. So, he bursts into Tommy's office and grabs Freebird's solo, and Loc's like "hey! You can't have that! That solo's been just like a solo to... Tommy", and he's like "tough", so Loc's like "give it", and he's like "make me", and Loc's like "butthurt 'kay". So Loc grabbed his leg, and he grabbed Loc's esophagus, and Loc bit off his ear and he chewed off Loc's eyebrows, and Loc took out his appendix and he gave Loc a colonic irrigation, yes, indeed, you'd better believe it. And, somehow in the middle of it all, the phone got knocked off the hook, and twenty seconds later, Loc heard a familiar voice. It said "if you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again; if you need help hang up and then dial your operator; if you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again; if you need help hang up and then dial your operator". Well, to cut a long story short, he got away with Freebird's solo. Loc made a solemn vow, right then and there that he would not rest; he would not sleep for an instant until the one-nostriled man with brought to justice. But before he can act upon his vow, Tommy comes in and tells Loc to take him home.

Mission 095: Fuck - Contact: Tommy "The Nightmare" Smith - Reward: Respect +, $60, Contact: Michelle, Girlfriend: Michelle
The government has taken Tommy's mummy hostage! Loc quickly drives to the Mulholland Intersection, which they're using as a runway! Loc hops onto a BMX and bikes onto the plane before it takes off, and battles his way up to the cockpit, but no one's there! Loc has to take control of the plane, and fly through a series of coronas before grabbing Ryder and parachuting onto the local Burger Shot! Ryder then says "I can't believe you let Brian die, man", then Tommy calls and thanks Loc for saving his brother. Ryder then tells Loc to take him home. Afterward, Michelle calls, and tells Loc to take her home.

Mission 096: Only You Can Prevent It - Contact: Michelle - Reward: Respect +, scoped squirt gun, Jose's pick-up spawns outside Caligula's Casino
Craig welcomes Loc into the house for tea, when Robert gets a call saying that the forest is on fire! Gary tosses Loc a scoped squirt gun and sends Loc to put out the forest fire. Loc only has five minutes to do so before the entire forest burns down! Harold calls when this is done, and tells Loc that it's time to deliver the package to Marcus. Loc gets into a plane and flies through a corona, throwing the package to Frank. Michelle congratulates Loc on a job well done and tells him to take her home.

Mission 097: These are Words That Go Together Well - Contact: Michelle - Reward: Respect +
Craig welcomes Loc again, but Justin gets a phone call saying that the Pantopicon has been overrun by Rifa, and Henry needs help! Loc runs to the Pantopicon, where Fredrick is defending the area and Hugh is keeping a lookout for Leatherface. Loc takes out his silenced shotgun and blasts 100,000 Rifa. All of a sudden, the Rifa detonate the bomb! Loc turns to find George with a chainsaw in his chest! Benjamin then runs off to join a cult, and Michelle tells Loc to take her home.

Mission 098: Tres Bien Ensamble - Contact: Michelle - Reward: Respect +, cyan clothing
Craig welcomes Loc in, hoping they can finally have some tea, when Jonathan says they have to find the lost city of Atlantis! Loc and Fraibel get into the submarine and drive to it. Just outside, Loc and Hank's submarine is shot down! Loc swims to the edge of the city, but he's lost all his weapons and money! Loc finds a novelty boxing glove on the ground, and proceeds to storm the king's castle! He takes out the king's rhinos, snipers and foot troops with just his novelty boxing glove and golf caddy. When he gets to the king, he wakes up outside Old Reece's in Los Santos wearing cyan! Michelle then tells Loc to take her home.

Mission 099: Variable - Contact: Michelle - Reward: Respect +, Contact: Harvey Kinkle
Craig welcomes Loc in, and Vincent says that some crazy kids popped his car's tyres! Jack throws Loc the keys, and tells him to take it to the garage in Las Venturas. Bradley gives Loc enough money to fix the tyres, but not enough for a new paintjob. Hector won't accept Loc's charity, so he can't scratch the paint at all. When Loc finally gets to the garage, Harvey's there, practicing his licks. Harvey asks Loc if he wants to help around the shop later, and Loc says "sure". Then Michelle tells Loc to take her home.

Mission 100: Beat the Record - Contact: Harvey Kinkle - Reward: Respect +, record-breaking suit
Harvey tells Loc to beat the record! Loc puts on his record-breaking suit and beats the record! Then Michelle's like "take me home".

Mission 101: Take All You Need - Contact: Harvey Kinkle - Reward: Respect +
Harvey is filming a movie! He asks Loc to be the star, and Loc readily accepts. Harvey takes Loc to the dojo in San Fierro to film the martial arts scene. Loc has to defeat 100 gun-weilding robbers with his bare hands! Harvey then moves the set to Caligula's Casino, where Loc has to blast 100 armed robbers coming at him from all angles without getting shot! Harvey then shifts the scene to Liberty City's airport, where Loc has to jack a plane as it's taking off! Harvey's next scene involves Loc flying said plane into the Twin Towers! Harvey then takes Loc to Vice City's Starfish Island, where Loc has to bounce a beachball in the air 100 consecutive times! The next shot is of a car chase through the streets of Vice City's mainland with a six-star wanted level. Loc can not destroy his vehicle until 100 vehicles join the chase, after which he has to fly through the airport terminal's windows. The final shot takes place at Harvey's garage, where Loc finds a dead body, and makes a terrible pun before donning a pair of sunglasses, and shouting "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHH". Afterward, Michelle's like "take me home".

Mission 102: Building - Contact: Harvey Kinkle - Reward: Respect +, oscillating fan, Contact: Mr. Roboto
Harvey has invented a new invention! He calls Loc over to see the invention, and goes with Loc to deploy it in the centre of the house. All of a sudden, the cops invade Harvey's truck! The invention violates federal law, so Loc and Harvey hop in a vortex and drive to Los Santos with a two-star wanted level. Then they hop into a Super GT, and drive to San Fierro with four stars. Then they proceed to hop in a plane and fly to Liberty City with six stars. The plane spontaneously combusts, and Loc wakes up in a jail cell with an oscillating fan in his hand with Brock at his side. Colton then tells Loc to take him home.

Mission 103: Out of Town - Contact: Mr. Roboto - Reward: Respect +, bar of soap spawns at Loc's house, Contact: OG Loc
Mr. Roboto tells Loc he has a plan to escape from prison. First, he gives Loc a bar of soap, then tells him to lather, rise AND repeat before crawling through the thin bars of the airvent. This will allow Loc to drop into the generator room to cut power to the orphanage. He shoots the generator with his nine, which disables it, cutting power to the orphanage. A red alert is sounded, and all the doors and vents seal, so Loc hops into the BF Injection with Phylyp and drives to the ice cream parlour. Phylyp informs of a buy one, get one free offer at the ice cream parlour that ends in four minutes. Loc has to drive to the ice cream parlour while being chased by Grove Street Families with PEZ Uzis on Faggios in four minutes. Once they get there, the clerk gives them their ice cream, but when they take it, the clerk turns into a blue alien! They leave the ice cream parlour, and Phylyp is snyped! Loc must find the snyper somewhere in Hoenn before he escapes in a Super GT! Once Loc killed the snyper, Mr. Roboto challenges him to a race! Mr. Roboto hops into a Bullet with nitro, and Loc must hop into the snyper's Super GT with hydroulics! Loc is unable to damage the snyper's Super GT, because that would just be rude. The pair try to see who can get to Little Havana from Salvatore's house. After Loc wins the race, Mr. Roboto says "take me home". Loc hops into a boat, and gladly takes him home, as he is happy to have earned his freedom. However, Mr. Roboto needs to get home by 7:30, which gives Loc two minutes to get him home.

Mission 104: Oops. - Contact: OG Loc - Reward: Respect +, Contact: Harvey Kinkle
Loc is sitting on a park bench, pondering life and death. Suddenly, he gets a great joke that he could've said in the last mission. He gets into The Doctor's TARDIS, and travels to the beginning of the game, and re-does everything he's done so far in the game in a musical montage, to the tune "People" by Barbra Streisand. At the last exchange, he yells out "NO U", and the room explodes with laughter. Afterward, Michelle tells Loc to take her home.

Mission 105: Leaving Forever Again - Contact: Harvey Kinkle - Reward: Respect +, Zelda II spawns at Harvey's old house
Harvey is moving to a new place. Loc helps Harvey load boxes into the moving van, then Loc drives the van to Harvey's new place of residence. Michelle then tells Loc to take her home.

Mission 106: Running in My Soul - Contact: Harvey Kinkle - Reward: Respect +, Contact: Fyllour
Harvey and Loc are discussing politics, when a car full of Rifa swims by and takes out Plounk! Harvey rips off his shirt and runs to the hardware store to buy a lawnmower, which he promptly uses to clean his carpet. Loc goes to Cesar's and buys a nice suit, with which he takes Michelle out on a date. Loc must score over 9,000 points, or else Michelle storms out, crying. Then Loc tells Michelle to take him home. On the way home, a Vago jumps onto the hood of the car, and gives Michelle a diamond ring. Loc rips the Vago off the hood and beats him to death. Michelle then tells Loc to take her home.

Mission 107: Ventreloquism - Contact: Fyllour - Reward: Respect +, Loc gains the gynecologist's office as a safehouse
Loc meets Fyllour at his home in Las Venturas, when Loc mentions on how Loc wants revenge on the Rifa for killing his fathour. Fyllour suggests going to a psychiatrist to talk it out. Loc goes to the optomitrist like Fyllour suggested, and works out his problems through a series of increasingly difficult quick-time events. Afterward, Loc decides to buy out the dentist that he is currently seeing to use as a base for the planning of the big bank robbery. Michelle then tells Loc to take her home.

Mission 108: Fixing a Hole - Contact: Fyllour - Reward: Respect +, money continuously spawns at the movie theatre
Fyllour and Loc decide that the first step to avenging Loc's brouthour is to get the map. Fyllour has determined that the map is at Michelle's house. Loc drives to Michelle's house, and Craig welcomes him in for tea. They're about to sit down when Falkner gets a call saying there's trouble at the library! Loc bikes to the library, and finds out that they don't have enough employees to maintain a pediatrician's office! Loc takes a part-time job at the hair salon to rectify this situation. While on his first day of the job at the fire department, Loc gets a call from Joshua saying to check his locker at the local elementary school. At his locker, he finds the container of baby powder he needs to avenge his ouncle! Michelle then tells Loc to take her home.

Mission 109: High on It - Contact: Fyllour - Reward: Respect +, Jetpack spawns at Tommy "The Nightmare" Smith's house
Fyllour and Loc notice a gaping hole in their plan. Fyllour is a heavy smoker, and will obviously need to smoke during the invasion. Spreading ashes on the Rifa's floor would be rude, so Fyllour has Loc get an ashtray. Loc calls everyone he knows in the pursuit of a decent ashtray. Big Smoke has an ashtray, but he isn't willing to part with it. Ryder is out of town on a business trip, so Loc sneaks into his house, and attempts to steal it. However, Big Bear has rigged up a laser defense system, Loc trips the laser, causing Kendl to leap out at him. Loc then calls The Sweet, who responds with "I can't believe you let Brian die, man". Loc then tries Shopkeepour, but his store was closed due to a mass outbreak of the common cold. Loc gets to the end of his contact list, and calls Claude. Jizzy tells Loc to hand over the diamonds. Loc refuses, and he hops into the Rhino, and steamrolls Gwonam's hut. A hand appears and tells Loc that he can give him the keys if he steals four cop motorcyles for him. There are only four in San Andreas, each at the four corners of San Andreas, and Loc has to drive them onto the back of a truck driving around San Andreas within three minutes. Loc complies, and Cesar gives him the greatsword. Michelle then tells Loc to take her home.

Mission 110: Going to Applebees - Contact: Fyllour - Reward: Respect +, priceless vase spawns at GameStop, Contact: OG Loc
Loc and Fyllour attempt to draw out the plan to avenge Loc's grendfathour, but the realise they can't write out a plan without 4x8 notecards! Fyllour sends Loc to get some, so Loc goes to Toys 'R' Us, and asks if they have any manylla fouldours left, but they respond in the negative. They do say, however, that the Vice City branch of Sears has toothpaste, so Loc hops into his Hydra and bikes to Liberty City, but on the way, he is chased by a bunch of cowboys riding mechanical bulls on top of Hydras. Loc arrives at the Carcer City branch of 7-11, and purchases some nice socks. He then flies back to the dermitologist's office and gives Fyllour the drumset. This means Loc has collected the muffler, the fuzzy dice, the toenail clippers, the ammo, the bag of zipties, the mopeds, the no. 2 pencils and the Denver Post. He and Fyllour can use these items to storm the Rifa hideout and avenge Loc's daughtour. Michelle then tells Loc to take her home.

Mission 111: You Never Give Me Your Money - Contact: OG Loc - Reward: Respect +, president suit, pirate costume, Didier Sachs opens, Contact: Shopkeepour
Loc is sitting in a bar, drinking his sorrows away, when Shopkeepour asks Loc what happened to his dream. Loc replies "ever since Big and Little Devil died... I don't know, man. I just haven't been into it. They were the only ones who believed in me". Shopkeepour replies, "I believe in you, Loc. I believe that you can become president". Suddenly, he and Loc engage in a passionate kiss, and Loc goes off to Didier Sachs to obtain a suit. However, Abraham Lincoln has sent his goons after Loc! Loc hops into his silver bullet, and drives to the Gant bridge, where Max takes the wheel and Loc has to fire his PEZ Uzi at the goons, hoping to make them choke! When Norman gets to the the second bridge, built in 1963 to Los Santos from the Badlands, they find that the road has been bent into millions of tiny circles! Ernie carefully navigates these circles, until they get to the airport! Loc and Jay sigh in relief, as they think they've lost Lincoln's goons, when all of a sudden, a sniper from a passing plane kills Dexter! Loc hops into a Dodo and chases after the plane. Just outside of Vice City, Loc hops onto the plane, pulls out his RPG-7 and blows up the plane! However, this causes Loc to fall into the ocean! Loc must swim to the Burger Shot in San Fierro, where Michelle tells Loc to take her home.

Mission 112: Sun King - Contact: Shopkeepour - Reward: Respect +
Shopkeepour tells Loc that if he wants to become president, he needs to get votes. Loc starts scratching this down in a notebook. Shopkeepour says to go to all his friend's houses and request their vote. Shopkeepour then tells Loc to take him home. Loc then asks Shopkeepour whether he will vote for Loc or not. Shopkeepour agrees, but on one condition. Loc needs to pick up a pizza for him at the Well-Stacked Pizza. Loc complies, and delivers the pizza to Shopkeepour, then heads over to Ryder's house to get his vote. Loc then asks Ryder whether he will vote for Loc or not. Ryder agrees, but on one condition. Loc needs to pick up a pizza for him at the Well-Stacked Pizza. Loc complies, and delivers the pizza to Ryder, then heads over to Big Smoke's house to get his vote. Loc then asks Big Smoke whether he will vote for Loc or not. Big Smoke agrees, but on one condition. Loc needs to pick up a pizza for him at the Well-Stacked Pizza. Loc complies, and delivers the pizza to Big Smoke, then heads over to The Sweet's house to get his vote. Loc then asks The Sweet whether he will vote for Loc or not. The Sweet agrees, but on one condition. Loc needs to pick up a pizza for him at the Well-Stacked Pizza. Loc complies, and delivers the pizza to The Sweet, then heads over to Fyllour's house to get his vote. Loc then asks Fyllour whether he will vote for Loc or not. Fyllour agrees, but on one condition. Loc needs to pick up a pizza for him at the Well-Stacked Pizza. Loc complies, and delivers the pizza to Fyllour, then heads over to Big Bear's house to get his vote. Loc then asks Big Bear whether he will vote for Loc or not. Big Bear agrees, but on one condition. Loc needs to pick up a pizza for him at the Well-Stacked Pizza. Loc complies, and delivers the pizza to Big Bear, then heads over to Harvey's house to get his vote. Loc then asks Harvey whether he will vote for Loc or not. Harvey agrees, but on one condition. Loc needs to pick up a pizza for him at the Well-Stacked Pizza. Loc complies, and delivers the pizza to Harvey, then heads over to Gwonam's house to get his vote. Loc then asks Gwonam whether he will vote for Loc or not. Gwonam agrees, but on one condition. Loc needs to pick up a pizza for him at the Well-Stacked Pizza. Loc complies, and delivers the pizza to Gwonam, then heads over to Michelle's house to get her vote. Loc then asks Craig whether he will vote for Loc or not. Jason agrees, but on one condition. Loc needs to pick up a pizza for him at the Well-Stacked Pizza. Loc complies, and delivers the pizza to Quintin, then heads over to Tommy "The Nightmare" Smith's house to get his vote. Loc then asks Tommy "The Nightmare" Smith whether he will vote for Loc or not. Tommy "The Nightmare" Smith agrees, but on one condition. Loc needs to pick up a pizza for him at the Well-Stacked Pizza. Loc complies, and delivers the pizza to Tommy "The Nightmare" Smith, then heads over to Jizzy's house to get his vote. Loc then asks Jizzy whether he will vote for Loc or not. Jizzy agrees, but on one condition. Loc needs to pick up a pizza for him at the Well-Stacked Pizza. Loc complies, and delivers the pizza to Jizzy, then heads over to Woozie's house to get his vote. Loc then asks Woozie whether he will vote for Loc or not. Woozie agrees, but on one condition. Loc needs to pick up a pizza for him at the Well-Stacked Pizza. Loc complies, and delivers the pizza to Woozie, then heads over to Guppy's house to get his vote. Loc then asks Guppy whether he will vote for Loc or not. Guppy agrees, but on one condition. Loc needs to pick up a pizza for him at the Well-Stacked Pizza. Loc complies, and delivers the pizza to Guppy, then heads over to Ran Fa Li's house to get his vote. Loc then asks Ran Fa Li whether he will vote for Loc or not. Ran Fa Li agrees, but on one condition. Loc needs to pick up a pizza for him at the Well-Stacked Pizza. Loc complies, and delivers the pizza to Ran Fa Li, then Michelle's like "take me home".

Mission 113: Mean Mr. Mustard - Contact: Shopkeepour - Reward: Respect +
Shopkeepour tells Loc that to become president, he must remain professional at all times. However, as he says this, some of George Washington's goons on Freeways splash mud on Loc's suit! Loc runs to the drycleaner's and hops into his sky crane, and calls Graeme, who is tailing the thugs. Loc must pick up each Freeway indiviually and dump them into a deep hole which he fills with cement. However, the goons are shooting at Graeme, and Loc must bury all of them before Graeme dies! Loc then climbs a tower outside George Washington's house, and waits for him to come out so Loc can snipe him. Loc then takes the briefcase to Ryder, who's like "I can't believe you let Brian die, man". Then Michelle's like "take me home".

Mission 114: Polythene Pam - Contact: Shopkeepour - Reward: Respect +, Benjamin Franklin's mansion, pendant of destiny, Contact: OG Loc
Shopkeepour tells Loc that a key tactic in winning anything is intimidation. Loc takes Howard and storms Benjamin Franklin's mansion. They fight through the entire mansion, when Benjamin Franklin shoots Howard! He then jumps out the window and detonates the bomb! A single tear streams down Loc's cheek. Loc dons Howard's pendant of destiny, and swears to continue Howard's quest. Loc first, however, needs to give his best friend Howard a proper burial. All of Loc's friends attend the funeral, after which Loc hops on an NRG and chases Benjamin Franklin! As Benjamin Franklin's NRG catches fire, he jumps up and activates his jetpack! Loc throws a tracking device onto the jetpack, and Benjamin Franklin starts flying aimlessly around San Andreas! Loc hops into a plane, and crashes into Benjamin Franklin! Then impact forces both transportation devices into a tower, after which they explode! Loc lands on The Sweet's car, and The Sweet rushes out and says "I can't believe you let Brian die, man". Then Michelle's like "take me home".

Mission 115: She Came in Through the Bathroom Window - Contact: OG Loc - Reward: Respect +, the Stone of Getting Votes spawns at Loc's mansion
Loc sits in his bedroom watching his soaps, when a commercial comes on advertising the Stone of Getting Votes! Loc ventures to the Las Venturas volcano and finds the stone! However, it's encased in glass! Loc takes a picture of the stone in its case, and takes the picture to Fyllour. Fyllour tells Loc he's been working on a machine to get around this, but he needs Loc to sneak into National Inventors United's HQ and takes pictures of their classified documents. Loc does so, and gives the pictures to Fyllour. Fyllour then invents the Un-encasing Machine. Loc uses this to un-encase the stone, but it's a fake! Loc sneaks into the back rooms with his silenced shotgun, and gets a glass of water from the cooler. Loc then goes to the front desk and begs for the stone. The receptionist gives Loc the location of the stone at the cost of his mortal coil. Loc goes to Fyllour's garage and retrieves the stone. Michelle then tells Loc to take her home.

Mission 116: Golden Slumbers - Contact: OG Loc - Reward: Respect +, The Truth's UFO spawns at Loc's mansion
Loc decides that the easiest way to win an election is to make people like him. Loc decides the best way to do this is to win the Super Bowl, so Loc enters the World Series, where John Adams does a PIT Maneuver on Loc, so Loc passes the puck to Shopkeepour who throws it through the hoop for a touchdown! However, Gerald Ford pops Loc's tyres! Loc takes a pit stop, where John Cole "F" Kennedy's goons steal Loc's car! So Loc gets into a Hydra and nukes the rink! Ronald Reagan's men get into their own Hydras, and Loc must fly away, trying to get them to crash into tall towers. Loc then parachutes out onto an NRG and chases Franklin Roosevelt's thugs! Loc takes them out and does a barrel roll, landing on the back of a train. The train goes under a low bridge, which causes Loc to fall off, onto Big Smoke's dirtbike! Loc must drive alongside the train so that Big Smoke can take out Thomas Jefferson's goons before the train gets enough of a straightaway to blast off into space! Afterward, Big Smoke says "I Can't Believe You Let Brian Die, Man", and they jump off a ramp and land in Oklahoma, where The Truth greets Loc! The two get into The Truth's UFO and use its cannon to blow up Bill Clinton's base! Loc parachutes out of the UFO, and lands in the centre of a red marker for more points! This causes Loc to win the Stanley Cup! Michelle then tells Loc to take her home.

Mission 117: Carry That Weight - Contact: OG Loc - Reward: Respect +, torch spawns at Loc's mansion
It's the night before the election results are revealed. Loc sits in his mansion, reflecting on all the good times he's has since he got out of prison. A single tear streams down his cheek. All of his friends walk through his door, singing "Hey Loc". Loc breaks out into tears of joy, and embraces all of them in sequence. The group then marches down Grove Street holding torches singing the coda. A parade gathers around them with Loc-related floats. Sabastian Bach joins in the coda. One by one, everybody goes into their homes as the march goes on. By the end, only Loc and Craig are left. The sing the refrain one more time, and embrace. Craig walks off to the distant horizon, leaving Loc to reflect on how great his friends are. Then Michelle's like "take me home".

Mission 118: The End - Contact: OG Loc - Reward: Respect +
Loc steps up to the podium. After a long delay, it is time for his speech. Loc starts saying the State of the Union address, when suddenly, Matthew crashes through the window on a rhino! "So, President Loc! We meet at last!" "MATTHEW! Why must your try to foil everything I do?!" "Because I 'thought it would be funny'" Loc runs up to Matthew, and stabs him with the bayonette on his M4, then unloads a clip into him. Loc then kicks Matthew into a wall, then slides to Matthew's new location, reloading as he does so. He re-stabs Matthew, and unloads another clip into him, then uppercuts him into the air. Loc then reloads again, then unloads yet another clip into Matthew while he's airbourne. Matthew lands on Loc's bayonette, and Loc reloads, afterward pouring another clip into Matthew. Loc then slams Matthew to the ground, and reloads. Before he can pour another clip into him, Craig says that he's already dead. He and Loc walk off out of the hole created by the Rhino into the sunset, and Michelle says "take me home".

Mission 119: Her Majesty - Contact: OG Loc - Reward: Respect +
The credits are rolling down the screen! As each name comes to the centre of the screen, Loc must drive the person whose name it is home before the next name comes to the centre of the screen! If he fails to do this, an image from the Pain Series is attatched to the screen for the remainder of the credits! While Loc is doing this, an acapella version of Bob Dylan's "All Along the Watchtower" is playing on loop!

This is so amazing. The ending made me jizz <3