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 Hanukkah Special 2017

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Jakeyadventure
TO SEE A MARCHING BAND
Jakeyadventure


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Number of posts : 13790
Age : 30
Registration date : 2007-12-29

Hanukkah Special 2017 Empty
PostSubject: Hanukkah Special 2017   Hanukkah Special 2017 Icon_minitimeMon Dec 25, 2017 3:14 am

HANUKKAH SPECIAL AND SHIT:
"dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to open presents beneath this decorated tree" "wait what how this is decorated?" Svart points to a single red bulb hanging from a branch on the Hanukkah tree. "oh my bad carry on" "hanukkah guy has seen fit to bestow upon each of us one present; i will hand each of you yours individually then we will hold voting on who received the best present" "oh boy i hope i win this year"
Svart hands Jakey his present. "oh boy oh boy" Jakey violently tears open his package. "what'd you get what'd you get" "a uh signed copy of svart's latest novel" "wow that's going to be tough to beat" Svart hands Bran his present. "oh boy oh boy" Bran hands his package to Emelyn, who unwraps it and checks for explosives. "what'd you get" "a uh signed copy of svart's latest novel" "what a coincidence!!!" Svart hands Taylor his present. "..." Taylor unenthusiastically opens his present. "what'd you get" Taylor hucks his signed copy of Svart's latest novel at Svart's head. "what did you do with the real presents?!" "i uh pawned them to buy this printing press" "GODDAMMIT SVART" Jakey puts on his jacket, and he, Taylor, and Bran head for the pawn shop.
Shopkeepour stands behind the counter, chewing a fresh stick of Fruit Stripes chewing gum. "yo ho ho merry hanukkah" "yeah yeah svart pawned all of our hanukkah presents can we have them back" "i lent him A LOT of money on these presents you know; i can't just GIVE them back" "fine fine how much" "100,000$" "WHAT" "who knew large antique machines cost so much money?!" "can we just like open the presents and then decide on an individual basis what we want to pay to get back" "what no hanukkah presents lose all their monetary value when unwrapped!!!" "damn i thought that would work" "hey can we pay you in signed copies of svart's novel" "i've already got hundreds of those" "dammit" Everyone exits the pawn shop, dejected. "well the only solution is to come back here tonight and STEAL the presents" "oh that's much better than my idea" Taylor tucks the stick of dynamite back into his pocket.
"all right lower me down" Jakey and Bran lower Taylor down from the air vent overlooking their presents. "are we sure these are our presents" "well the tags say 'to jakey' 'to taylor' 'to bran' etc." "hmm could just be a coincidence though" "good point but these are the only hanukkah presents around" "all right toss 'em up" Taylor begins tossing presents up into the air vent. "oh boy oh boy i can't wait to open this" "neither can i so i will not" Bran rips open his present, and inside is a signed copy of Svart's latest novel. "..." "..." Jakey opens his own present, and, sure enough, inside is a signed copy of Svart's latest novel. "GODDAMMIT HANUKKAH GUY" "ALL I WANTED WAS SPECIFICALLY NOT THIS HOW HARD WAS THAT" Jakey and Bran storm out of the vent, leaving Taylor trapped inside the pawn shop. "uh guys?!" Taylor shrugs and heads over to the wall, planting his stick of dynamite.
THE END
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