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 Teh Forum RPG [Reboot] Halloween Special Part Seven

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Jakeyadventure
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Registration date : 2007-12-29

PostSubject: Teh Forum RPG [Reboot] Halloween Special Part Seven   Tue Oct 31, 2017 1:49 pm

HALLOWEEN SPECIAL AND SHIT:
"hey bran what are you going as for halloween this year" No one responds. "come on dude i know it's you in that jakey costume again" "uh no it's actually me this time" Jakey unzips his skin to reveal that it is actually Jakey inside. "..." "..." "what is even the POINT of that?!" "i wanted to go as something cool + handsome and what is more cool + handsome than myself?!" "just about anything" "you're looking positively green with envy, eifio" "no i'm looking green because i'm frankenstein this year" "an envious frankenstein" Eif grimmaces as Bran and Taylor enter the room, ready to roll. "nice honda civic costume guys" "it would be better if i didn't have to be the trunk" "oh quit your whining" "hey where's michelle" "i'm right here" Everyone except Jakey leaps up in fright as the recliner begins to move. "wait did you HOLLOW OUT OUR RECLINER?!" "yeah? it's HOLLOW-ween after all" Eif smacks his forehead, and they all go to the party at Svart's house, where they are greeted by Big Ben. "glad you could make it" "greetings friends!!! enjoy the party!!!"
01:
Taylor approaches Sophia, who is dressed as a potato farmer. "hey baby wanna hop into my back seat and plant some seeds with me" "inside a car?! nothing will grow if i do that!!!" "really taylor? THAT'S your pick-up line?" "oh like you could do better" "watch me" Bran moves the car costume over to Grace, who is dressed as a scarecrow. "hey baby how about i ram you from behind"
02:
"hey bendik i really like your jeff lynne costume" "jeff l-what?! my costume is of lindsey buckingham!!!" "oh sorry my bad"
03:
"yo rachel what are you supposed to be" "a book about irrigation techniques!!!" "but the cover of your costume says 'advanced astronomy'" "pfft!!! pfft, i say!!! you cannot judge a book by its cover!!!" "the last time you said that, you drank from a bottle plainly labeled 'bleach' and insisted that it would never harm you as it is a good fluid" "i survived didn't i!!!" "you were in the hospital for six months" "BUT I SURVIVED, DIDN'T I?!"
04:
"..." "..." "okay what the FUCK are you supposed to be" "well i wanted my costume to be of something or someone who is amazing at resistance and then it hit me; what in the world is more resistant than FLEX TAPE?!" "so you just covered yourself from head to toe in flex tape" "yes" "how are you breathing" "i am in the process of resisting suffocation" "can you even see" "i am resisting blindness and can see better than you can probably" "won't all that tape rip all your hair out when you take it off" "pfft i'd like to see it try; hair-related resistances are my best kind" "so um does that tape actually work" "oh yes; i use it for everything" Ressie holds up one of Svart's vases she stumbled into and broke, then fixed with Flex Tape. "oh wow you can hardly even tell that it was broken" "yes and it is even more beautiful for having BEEN broken and repaired with flex tape" "hey wait i thought you said you could see perfectly why did you bump into a vase" "i uh can't really move my legs very well"
05:
"aw man i can't believe we both went as a sheet ghost this year" "oh gwendolyn, poor, naive gwendolyn; your costume may just be a mere bedsheet with eye holes cut into it, but MY costume is a designer costume!!! it cost 10000$ at retail!!!" "for a sheet?" "a DESIGNER sheet" "i thought you jews were against spending money; why did you buy a sheet for ten grand" "i used a coupon to get it 100% off" "ah"
06:
Emelyn, exhausted after pushing a boulder up the stairs for the last several hours for her Sisyphus costume, takes a seat upon a recliner. "HEY GET OFF" "GAH" The recliner bucks Emelyn off, and Michelle glares at her from inside.
07:
"so let me get this straight, you BOTH came as toilet paper mummies?" "well yes but there is a WORLD of difference between the two of us!!!" "really?" "oh definitely; i am of superior construction, as i used only the finest 2-ply paper" "that is a waste!!! you do not need all those plys!!! 1-ply is objectively superior for this job!!!" "we'll see if you're saying the same thing by the end of the night when your costume is destroyed by a slight breeze" "and we'll also see if YOU'RE saying the same thing when your costume is impossible to get off!!!" Brooke and Hattie stomp off, both convinced that their mummy costume is superior.
08:
"hey bendik i really like your lindsey buckingham costume" "lindsey b-what?! my costume is of jeff lynne!!!" "oh sorry my bad"
09:
"so um what are you supposed to be" "i'm a pile" "..." "what" "you can't-you can't just be a PILE" "i'm doing it right now though" "so you just gathered a bunch of junk and glued it onto yourself?" "yeah for my pile costume" "i suppose it's better than jakey coming as himself" "HEY I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW THIS COSTUME WAS VERY EXPENSIVE" "you're just wearing your normal-" Jakey unzips his skin to reveal an identical Jakey underneath. Brucie throws up in his mouth a little, but chokes it down so he doesn't soil his priest costume, or Julia's pile costume.
10:
"so are you supposed to be some sort of medieval knight or something" "v-VERILY!!! I-I-I-I A-AM QU-QUESTING F-FOR THE G-GRAIL!!!" "oh and how's that going for you" "n-not so g-good" "did you check between the couch cushions" "w-well i-i t-tried that ch-chair over there b-but it b-bit me s-so i-i-i-i k-kind of d-don't want t-to risk it" "your bravery truly knows no bounds, miss sir knight" "F-FORSOOTH!!!"
11:
Kathy hangs her designer ghost costume on a hook as she heads into the bathroom. Gwendolyn sneaks up, and swaps her own costume with the one on the hook, then blends into the crowd wearing a $10,000 costume. Kathy exits the bathroom, and puts on Gwendolyn's costume without even realising.
12:
"HEY YOU" "me?" "YEAH WHERE DO YOU GET OFF, DRESSING UP IN NOTHING BUT FLEX TAPE" "excuse me?" "THAT TAPE HAS DESTROYED MANY BLUE COLLAR JOBS; MY COUSIN IS A BOAT REPAIRMAN AND WENT OUT OF BUSINESS DUE TO EVERYONE REPAIRING THEIR BOATS WITH FLEX TAPE" "that's great!!! now everyone can fix their own boats to a seaworthy level if they accidentally get sawed in half!!!" "NO IT'S TERRIBLE; MY COUSIN IS ON THE STREET BEGGING FOR CHANGE BECAUSE OF THIS" "what kind of change? like, lower taxes?" "C O I N S" "oh why doesn't he ask for bills instead" Candice slaps herself on the face. "that tape is sent here from SATAN HIMSELF to destroy the blue collars once and for all!!! plumbers, carpenters, no one is safe!!!" "and this is a good thing!!! people will be self-sufficient!!!" "NO IT'S NOT!!!" "get with the times gramma" "oh you'll pay for this you'll all pay for this" Candice backs away, shaking her cane at Ressie.
13:
"ALL ABOARD; NEXT STOP THE KITCHEN" Natalie yanks the chain, sounding the train's whistle. "oh man i can use a snack" "then hop aboard!!!" Sara climbs onto the train, setting down her bindle in the car. "wow these seats are so nice" "i just got them coated with the finest crushed velvet upholstery!!!" "UPHOLSTERY?!" Erin falls from the ceiling onto one of the seats of the train. "..." "..." "listen i have been waiting all night for someone to mention upholstery so i could debut my upholsterer costume without someone asking 'what are you supposed to be??? some kind of sherlock holmes???'" "oh i hate when that happens" Natalie sounds the whistle again, and the train departs for its next stop.
14:
"hey uh are you dressed as a chicken wrap" "yes!!! want a taste?!" "wha-" "it's all real chicken!!!" Svart reluctantly reaches into Piper's costume and grabs a handful of chicken. "oh wow this is really good" "i could have bought the rubber costume for 2$ but for just 3$ more i sprung for the real ingredients" "you got all that chicken for just five dollars?!" "what can i say; i've always been very shifty" "thrifty" "yeah that"
15:
Tired from standing on the ground so much for her Elvis Presley costume, Amber sits down on the couch. "ow what in the world-" Amber pulls out from between the cushions a golen goblet encrusted with gems. "did someone lose this?" "H-HUZZAH!!! SH-SHE HAS F-FOUND THE H-HOLY GRAIL!!! SH-SHE IS TH-THE TRUE K-KING!!!" "psst i'll buy that from you for five bucks" "deal" Julia pulls a crisp five dollar bill from within her pile and hands it to Amber, receiving the Grail in return. "H-HUZZAH!!! SH-SHE HAS B-BOUGHT THE H-HOLY GRAIL!!! SH-SHE IS TH-THE TRUE K-KING!!!"
16:
"chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga tssssssssssss HERE WE ARE; THE KITCHEN PLEASE BE CAREFUL AS YOU DISEMBARK" Sara grabs her bindle and walks over to the fridge, grabbing a nice holiday-themed can of Candy Corn Mountain Dew. As she goes to leave the room, the can is snatched from her by Azalea, and scanned at the register. "that will be 1.99$" Sara out-turns her pockets. "sorry then i'll have to put this back" Sara's eyes widen, and, thinking quickly, she snatches back the can and hops aboard the moving train as it heads back to the living room. "SECURITY WE HAVE A CODE MAUVE I REPEAT CODE MAUVE" "hup hup hup" Orange runs out after the train aboard his hobby horse, but stops in the dining room when he gets tired. "sorry miss azalea my horse ran out of gas" "sigh" Azalea puts up a poster, telling all the employees to not allow Sara back into the store.
17:
"so uh claire what are you" "i'm a ghost" "no i mean like for halloween" "OH right sorry my costume is of the pot of greed" "never heard of it what does it do" "uh that's a good question; my mother taught me a song about it but i can't figure out what it means" "oh boy sing to me the song" "ahem: i'm a little greed pot, short and stout; here is my handle, here is my mouth; when you're in a great bind, just play me and draw two cards" "'draw two cards'? like, get out some lined paper and make a drawing?" "yeah i don't get it what good does that do, and further, why is it on the banlist" "the world may never know"
18:
"aw man i hate when this happens" "explain to me the problem olivia" "okay so i'm dressed up as a fisherman right" "right" "and i was just chilling in my boat until all of a sudden it became two half-boats!!! my costume makes no sense without one whole-boat!!!" "i have got just the solution to your boat-related problems!!!" Ressie pulls out a roll of Flex Tape and begins taping the shit out of Olivia's boat. "wow it's as good as new!!!" "no, it's BETTER than new!!!" "thanks flex tape!!!" "do not mention it, especially not to the crazy old lady"
19:
"well i've met and gret with everyone here but i still haven't seen the great cheryl" "i guess she just didn't come" "oh, didn't i?!" Svart looks up to see the chandelier smiling at him smugly. "jesus how did you do that" "magic" "oh right" "so i'm going to win best costume right" "not really; using magic is grounds for disqualification" "WHAT" Svart holds up the rule book. "AW FUCK AND I'VE BEEN HANGING HERE FOR THREE HOURS" "oh well there's always next year" "fuck this i'm going home"
FINALE:
"thank you all for coming but it's time we got to the most important part of the night: THE AWARD FOR BEST COSTUME GOES TO" Svart presses a button on the tape recorder, playing a drumroll. "MICHELLE" Svart hands Michelle the trophy. "i am so honoured and-" Just then, Jakey crashes through the door, dressed up as a medieval knight. "hey guys sorry i'm late" "j-jakey?!" "then who the FUCK is that in the jakey costume in the jakey costume?!" Jakey unzips his skin to reveal an identical Jakey underneath, then unzips that skin to reveal Sheriff Antony. "..." "..." "give me that" Svart yanks the trophy away from Michelle, and gives it to Sheriff Antony. "you like me; you really like me!!!" Michelle stomps over to Jakey, upset. "take me home"
THE END
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Teh Forum RPG [Reboot] Halloween Special Part Seven
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