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remember chuck norris jokes? whatever happened to those

Number of posts : 8885
Age : 24
Registration date : 2007-12-29

PostSubject: films   Sun Mar 26, 2017 3:20 am

It's no secret that I've never been a movies guy. In fact, my experience is pretty much limited to Star Wars, The Lord of the Rings, and superhero movies, with a few extras like Jurassic Park and some assorted Tom Cruise movies. (not Top Gun though that would make too much sense)

Recently, I have attempted to rectify this somewhat by watching two film trilogies on the "I can't believe you've never seen this!!!" list.

1. Back to the Future
I'm just going to say that I'm kind of glad I didn't see these as a kid, because I'm 100% sure I understood more of the period themes and jokes at 23 than I would have at, say, 11.
In videogames and music, I've experienced a lot of, well, games and music where I experienced the first one years late and IMMEDIATELY had to experience more. For videogames, there's Ace Attorney and Pokémon immediately off the top of my head, and for music, it happens a lot, from standards like The Beatles and Radiohead to more recently, Squeeze and uh John Waite
Back to the Future is the first ever film series to do that for me. I watched the original one night, went to bed, then watched the other two the next day. To be fair, though, the way the second one ends makes you pretty much NEED to watch the third one.
My favourite thing about these movies is that nothing's wasted. There's no shot that isn't important. Like, in the second movie, Biff is watching a Clint Eastwood movie where he survives being shot in a duel by tying a boiler plate to his chest. In the third movie, when Marty goes to the wild west, he uses the exact same trick. If I'd watched/been alive when the movies first came out, I might not have remembered that minor detail a year later.
Also amazing:
Twin Pines Mall being renamed to Lone Pine Mall after Marty runs over one of the trees in the 1950s
Clayton Canyon being renamed to Eastwood Canyon after Clara's life is saved and Marty "dies" in the trainwreck

If I had to rank the movies, I'd have to say 1 > 2 > 3, but they're all 10/10s, really. 3 is the worst one because there HAS to be a worst one.

As a side note, I played the Telltale Back to the Future game right after, since it serendipitously went on sale a week after I watched the trilogy, and it fit in perfectly.

2. Indiana Jones
putting snakes on planes before it was cool
I get that the "Jock has a pet snake on his plane" scene was to show that Indy is afraid of them, but it came across as just strangely-placed.
One thing I liked about this trilogy is that none of the adventures relate to eachother. The only recurring characters outside of the university are Indy and Sallah, and I can always get behind John Rhys-Davies (even if the only other thing I've seen him in is The Lord of the Rings).
I'll rank the movies before I get into it this time:
Temple of Doom > The Last Crusade > Raiders of the Lost Ark
(I'll talk about Kingdom of the Crystal Skull later)

So, Nazis. If a writer ever needs a villain that 99% of viewers can immediately rally against, it's the Nazis. This is why I liked the savage native Indians better. (call centre Indians as opposed to American Injuns) They felt much more intimidating than just Germans with guns. Like, if Indy is tied to a chair or being held at gunpoint by Nazis, I just know he can get out. Whatever, right? Being brainwashed by drinking tainted blood and forced to burn Willie alive? That's a bit tougher.
As a note, I was kind of proud of myself when I realised the Nazis got the head of the staff design from the burnt-in imprint on Elton John Nazi's hand.

I don't know if I'm going against the grain here, but I also thought Temple of Doom had the best supporting cast. I liked Willie better than Marion or Elsa, and I absolutely LOVED Short Round. He was just such a fun sidekick, and I legit shed a single tear (no memes please) during the scene where he had to un-brainwash Indy. "INDY I LOVE YOU YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND" just got me okay
The one thing that really bothered me about the movie was how Lao Che was completely forgotten about after they land in India.

That isn't to say that Sean Connery wasn't a 10/10, but I wasn't really into parts of The Last Crusade. I felt that the fight in/on/around the tank went on for a bit too long, and that the "women ruin everything" ending was just preaching to the choir

Now, let's talk about Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.
It wasn't bad.
It was better than The Force Awakens, for sure, and probably The Phantom Menace.
Yes, the Commies felt like "Nazis 2.0", but whatever. Yes, Shia LeBouf went crazy recently, but that's fine. I still liked Holes. The very beginning with the Elvis road scene went on too long, sure.
My main complaint about this movie was just aliens? really? ALIENS?
The first and third movies basically confirmed that God exists in Indy's world at least, what with the Lost Ark and the Holy Grail. But, uh, yeah, aliens. Sure.
I'm kind of disappointed that Commie Lady didn't die as graphic a death as the Nazis in 1 and 3, though.
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