CHAPTOUR ONE:
It was a dark and stormy night, as is the norm for this type of story. Hanukkah was drawing near, and all around the world, children and adults alike hung socks and sandals by the fireplace in the hopes that dear old Hanukkah Guy would fill them with presents. The good children would get toys and candy, while bad children would get coal. Good adults would get tax breaks, while bad adults would get a court summons. This year, however, Hanukkah Guy wouldn't come. The spirit of Hanukkah was as strong as ever, but its champion was not. Weak and ailing in bed, Hanukkah Guy feared that Hanukkah wouldn't come this year. Hanukkah Guy turned to his dear daughter and made of her one request. "take the elves and get out of here while you still can; the angry mobs will be here hanukkah morning with their pitchforks and torches" "uh that's a really good idea and all, but what if i delivered the presents instead of you" "THAT'S AN EVEN BETTER IDEA WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT" As his daughter runs off to prepare Hanukkah Guy smiles, knowing that he now has a scapegoat to blame any and all problems on.