Captain's log, nebula date 5H-03. I have finally gotten out of captaining school, and have been given command of my own vessel. Our mission is to cruise the star systems, make contact with alien lifeforms, and generally have fun with it. Our first destination is the planet Enn Gourjj in the Memm Bour system. The indigenous people of Enn Gourjj have been friendly with humans in the past, but let's see if I can't change that.
"we've arrived, cap" Head Navigator Bendik salutes as Captain Bran leads Junior Vice President Jakey, Medical Officer Brucie, and Ensign Orange down to the teleporter room. "four to beam down, taylor" "right away cap'n" Transportation Officer Taylor flicks a switch, beaming the landing party down to the alien surface, where four little grey aliens are waiting for them. "greetings enn gourjjians" "greetings hu-mans" "here is the mix tape you requested from our higher-ups; only the phattest beats for you" "thank you hu-man; here is your payment of enn gourjjian chocolate" The leader of the Enn Gourjjians hands Captain Bran the box of fine chocolates. "be sure to pay attention to the chocolate key, as the enn gourjjian deathfruit chocolates are deadly to all but the stoutest hu-mans" "sorry what was that" The crew had already devoured the box of chocolates. "uh-oh" Ensign Orange begins to swell to gigantic sizes. "HE'S GONNA BLOW" The crew and the Enn Gourjjians dive behind cover as Ensign Orange explodes. "COOL" "LET'S DO IT AGAIN" "TAYLOR BEAM DOWN ANOTHER ENSIGN" "right away sir" In a moment, Ensign Svart is teleported to the planet's surface. "what did you need me for captain" "we just wanted to share some delicious chocolate with you!!!" "oh boy"