Jakey's Angels (season 1)

EPYSODE ONE:
"all right ladies; i have called you all here to form you up as a SUPER-CRIME FIGHTING UNIT known as JAKEY'S ANGELS" "WHAT you told me we'd be called hell's angels!!!" "what he told me we'd be called lunar angels" "and i was told we'd be called 'the motherfuckers'" "you already signed the contract you're called jakey's angels and that is final" "goddammit" Gwendolyn throws her arms in the air in complete frustration. "you have all been individually selected for your unique skills and also because you are cute girls" "finally all that cuteness training pays off!!!" "so if gwendo is a vampire, and i am just all-around great at everything, what is claire here for" "to appeal to demographics that you two won't, obviously" "i can also fit through air vents pretty well" "yeah sure ANYWAY i have found you ladies your first criminal to fight and hopefully defeat: THE OSTRICH" "..." "..." "..." "i-what" "animal-themed supervillains are all the rage these days" "what is this the 1960s" "oh man i can't wait for our next case when we take on THE WALLABY" The three girls laugh their way into the Angelmobile and head off for The Ostrich's last-known location.

EPYSODE TWO:
"all right the ostrich we are here to put an end to your reign of terror or whatever" "SQUAWK" The Ostrich takes flight, pelting the Angels from above with Cadbury Creme Eggs. "DUDE WHAT THE FUCK" "OSTRICHES CAN'T FLY" "THEY CAN NOW MOTHERFUCKERS uh i mean SQUAWK" "i'm glad he kept these delicious eggs in the wrappers or else this would be pretty messy" "yeah now it's just delicious" The Angels sit down, catching and snacking on the delicious candy being thrown at them. Eventually, The Ostrich tires himself out and crashes to the ground, where Claire slaps a pair of handcuffs on him and steals the rest of his Cadbury Creme Eggs for her own personal use. "i liked this villain" "yes i hope they are all like this"

EPYSODE THREE:
"good work angels; you have defeated the bad guy" "yes we did" "but uh i'll need you to deposit the rest of the cadbury creme eggs into the evidence chute so we can uh prove his guilt in the courts" "sorry he threw them all at us so they are all gone" "hilarious joke" "i didn't think it was that funny to be honest" Claire out-turns her pockets and shows that she is not carrying eggs of any sort. "claire listen do not insult my powers of observation; you seem to have gone up two cup sizes since we last spoke" "growth spurt; i am merely a teenager after all" "they also appear to be rather lumpy" "i will have to get checked out for breast cancer; i'll go do that now actually" Claire turns to walk out of the headquarters, but a robotic arm grabs her by the leg and shakes her Cadbury Creme Eggs out into the evidence chute. "GODDAMMIT"
THE END