A Thing Gaiden 10: Resistance Leadour (2017)

CHAPTOUR ONE:
On a quiet night in northern Alabama, the sky suddenly lights up as unknown creatures beam down from strange flying machines. "HU-MANS OF EARTH; WE HAVE COME TO TAKE OVER YOUR PATHETIC PLANET; RESISTANCE IS FUTILE" "WANNA BET?!" Out of nowhere, a heroic human named Resistance Leadour comes forth to resist the alien menace. Resistance Leadour sits down in front of the aliens, Injun-style, and begins to resist. "HA HA PATHETIC" The head alien fires his disintegrator ray at Resistance Leadour, but she remains very much integrated. "WHAT" The alien continues to plug Resistance Leadour full of disintegration pellets, but she just smirks. "INCONCEIVABLE; NO LIVING BEING HAS EVER RESISTED DISINTEGRATION BEFORE" "YOUR DISINTEGRATION RAY MUST BE MALFUNCTIONING" Two more aliens fire rays at Resistance Leadour, but the results are the same. "THESE HU-MANS ARE STRONGER THAN WE IMAGINED" "DO NOT WORRY ZOLBLORG, I HAVE A BACKUP PLAN" An alien walks up to Resistance Leadour and kicks her in the head. She is unfazed. "OH NO" "LET'S GET OUT OF HERE; THESE HU-MANS ARE OBVIOUSLY NOT TO BE TRIFLED WITH" "I CALL SHOTGUN" "YOU ALWAYS FUCKING DO THAT XYBLORX IT'S LIKE ALL YOU THINK ABOUT IS RIDING SHOTGUN" "COME ON HURRY UP WE WILL NOT HESITATE TO LEAVE YOU BEHIND" "GAH" Xyblorx and Zelblornax hustle to board their ship, and Xelablornag punches the ignition. Xyblorx gets the coveted shotgun seat, but Zelblornax and Zigablor begin to plot his downfall; wishing to call the coveted shotgun seat FIRST. They will have their revenge, someday.
THE END