Beauty and the Uncool Guy

EPYSODE ONE:
"have you heard about that uncool guy who lives in the treehouse on the hill" "oh yeah he is such a drag" "he will never be able to get a date to prom" "especially not with the most beautiful girl in school, grace" "most certainly not, for I, eifion, the coolest guy in school, will be taking grace to the prom" "yeah no" Eifion recoils in horror. "the fuck did you-" "i have no interest in dating someone who does not share my passion for books" "... what the fuck is a books" "goodbye eifion" Grace walks away, hoping to find a quiet place to read her newest novel, Svartilocks and the Three Guys. Eifion sits down in the corner of the senior lounge, sulking. "gosh it disturbs me to see you eif'yon, looking so down in the dumps" "yeah whatever anyway help me to capture grace and stuff her in this bag so i can drag her to prom" "... but but i had a whole little musical number lined up to cheer you up" "i don't care" "goddammit" Orange walks away, dejected, with his head down.

EPYSODE TWO:
"this looks like a nice place to read a nice book" Grace sits down beneath the shade of a treehouse. There is a slight cooling breeze, but not enough of one to make reading more difficult. Jakey peers down from inside his treehouse, and Grace notices his stare. "o-oh sorry was this your treehouse" "u-um yeah b-but you c-can read here i-if you'd like" "oh thank you; do you like to read books" "oh yes there's not much else to do in this treehouse" "may i see your collection" "o-oh yeah t-totally" Jakey lets down the rope ladder, and Grace climbs up. "i can't say i've ever heard of any of these books" "they're uh not from here" Grace grabs a copy of the first volume of the Sailor Moon manga from a shelf composed almost entirely of manga. "this looks interesting" "oh it's a great read; very hard to come by around here" "may i borrow it" "o-of course j-just be sure to take good care of it" "oh definitely" Grace waves goodbye and climbs back down to head for home as the sun sets.

EPYSODE THREE:
"hey baby reconsidered the prom thing" "no" "shame" Eifion leans against his locker and whistles for his boys, who grab Grace and shove her into a giant burlap sack. "HELP I AM ALLERGIC TO BURLAP" Hearing Grace's screams, Jakey rushes up to Eifion and his posse. "p-please let her go" "no" "p-pretty please?" "i said no faggot" Eifion flicks his cigarette at Jakey, who immolates immediately. "I KNEW I SHOULDN'T HAVE BOUGHT ALL THAT EXTRA-FLAMMABLE CLOTHING AT 50% OFF" Jakey's body burns to a crisp almost instantly. "well that went better than expected" Eifion begins to whistle as he pulls Grace behind him.
THE END