"WELCOME TO THE GRAND KNIGHT'S TOURNAMENT; MANY GREAT AND HONOURABLE KNIGHTS ARE HERE TO TOURN BUT ONLY ONE CAN BE CHAMPION; LET THE FIRST ROUND BEGIN" Lady Emelyn blows her horn, signaling the beginning of the first round. "hey wait where are the other knights" "uh they all got slain by the terrible dragon milord so all we have left are these three" Sir Sheriff Antony, Sir Jakey, and Sir Tom Cruise wave at King Bran. "well we can't very well have a tournament without at least a fourth man; get me a peasant and perch him upon a donkey" "right away sir" Lady Emelyn zips off, returning with the peasantiest of peasants. "what's your name peasant" "e-eif sir" "well get ye upon yonder donk and die horribly" "yes sir" The tournament is randomly seeded through an RNG computer programme, and the first match is Eif vs. Sir Tom Cruise. "verily!!!" The knight and the peasant take their places, and charge upon the sound of Lady Emelyn's horn. Eif's stick snaps when it hits Sir Tom Cruise's armour, and Sir Tom Cruise's lance punctures Eif's unarmoured chest, killing him instantly. "THE WINNER OF MATCH ONE IS SIR TOM CRUISE" "verily"