ADVENTURE
HEY MISTER CAN WE HAVE OUR BALL BACK

ADVENTURE

HEY MISTER CAN WE HAVE OUR BALL BACK
 
HomeHome  PortalPortal  GalleryGallery  CalendarCalendar  FAQFAQ  SearchSearch  RegisterRegister  MemberlistMemberlist  UsergroupsUsergroups  Log in  GeraldineGeraldine  WikiWiki  Holiday GuideHoliday Guide  National AnthemNational Anthem  RulesRules  

Share | 
 

 One Thing Leads to Another (2013)

View previous topic View next topic Go down 
Go to page : Previous  1, 2, 3, 4  Next
AuthorMessage
Jakeyadventure
apple computers


Male
Number of posts : 7687
Age : 23
Favourite Band : Nirvana
Registration date : 2007-12-29

PostSubject: Re: One Thing Leads to Another (2013)   Tue Aug 30, 2016 5:54 pm

Mission 025: Too Much Salt [Emelyn]
"jakey i'm so glad that we stole this dog; he is the best dog" "0/10" Jakey steps aside to reveal Scraps, who wags his tail and barks happily. "jakey with all your galavanting around how do you have time to feed your dog" "i set up a rube goldberg device to feed him while i'm gone, and a second rube goldberg device to reset the first device (the first device also resets the second)" "clever; i just pour the food in the bowl" "like some kind of caveman" "yeah i'm planning on discovering fire later tonight" "looks like michelle's beat you to it" "oh goddammit" Michelle walks up to Jakey and Emelyn, on fire. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/Scraps jacket]
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://www.last.fm/user/Teh_Jakester/
Jakeyadventure
apple computers


Male
Number of posts : 7687
Age : 23
Favourite Band : Nirvana
Registration date : 2007-12-29

PostSubject: Re: One Thing Leads to Another (2013)   Tue Aug 30, 2016 5:54 pm

Mission 026: Minute Maid [Emelyn]
"jakey the quadrennial maidery olympics are this year and i have to prepare" "are you competing in the 200m sweeping or the freeform featherdustery" "both and also the cross-country laundry run" "oh that's my favourite" "so is canada entering any maids this year" "nah we swept the first maidery olympics so we decided to retire undefeated" "smart" "so what have you been doing to prepare" "i have been practicing sorting laundry blindfolded; separating the whites from the inferior laundry using only my sense of touch" "a valuable skill to have if the power goes out, you get into an industrial accident, or are the victim of sabotage" "i know right; i have trained all of my senses to razor-sharpness in order to prepare for both the maidery olympics and some form of tragedy" "have you trained your depth perception with just one eye so that you don't end up grabbing at nothing in crucial situations" "yes; that was actually a requirement to be the royal maid" "smart man, that king bran" "i'm just thankful he's giving me time off to train" "well he's counting on you to bring honour and glory to alabama" "AND I WON'T LET HIM DOWN" "that's the spirit" Emelyn gets so into the zone that she tears off Michelle's clothing and begins to fold it. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/Maidery Olympics jacket]
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://www.last.fm/user/Teh_Jakester/
Jakeyadventure
apple computers


Male
Number of posts : 7687
Age : 23
Favourite Band : Nirvana
Registration date : 2007-12-29

PostSubject: Re: One Thing Leads to Another (2013)   Tue Aug 30, 2016 5:54 pm

Mission 027: Embroiled in Obnoxious Celtic Conflict [Obnoxious Celtic Guardian]
"jakey as you may know, my obnoxious celtic people have an ancient obnoxious celtic tradition of obnoxious celtic embroidery, but some absolute fucker has set up his own embroidery shop and it's getting way more obnoxious celtic business than ours" "what why" "people are saying we are too 'obnoxious'" "what's next, they going to say you're too celtic?" "i know right" "do not worry, i will blow up the rival embroidery shop for you with this obnoxious celtic bomb" "thank you, my obnoxious celtic friend" Jakey hops into The Motherfucker, and slaps an Obnoxious Celtic Decal onto the hood, temporarily transforming it into The Obnoxious Celtic Motherfucker. "it's on" Jakey revs up the Obnoxious Celtic Engine and punches the gas, hitting the Obnoxious Celtic Highway to the Obnoxious Celtic Danger Zone. Jakey soon hits the Obnoxious Celtic Exit Ramp and ends up at Robert Truckdriver Embroidery. Jakey whips around so the back of The Obnoxious Celtic Motherfucker is right up to the open door, then hops into the shop, grabbing the Obnoxious Celtic Bomb and strapping it to Robert Truckdriver 799. "bye guys" Jakey leaves as the Obnoxious Celtic Timer ticks down to zero, blowing up Robert Truckdriver 799 and the entire shop. Just after, Robert Truckdriver 801 returns with the groceries. "Nooooo Robert Truckdriver 799; He Was Two Days Away From Retirement" Meanwhile, Michelle is blasted from the burning wreckage right into the Obnoxious Celtic Motherfucker's passenger seat. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/Obnoxious Celtic Motherfucker decals/Obnoxious Celtic Embroidery t-shirt]
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://www.last.fm/user/Teh_Jakester/
Jakeyadventure
apple computers


Male
Number of posts : 7687
Age : 23
Favourite Band : Nirvana
Registration date : 2007-12-29

PostSubject: Re: One Thing Leads to Another (2013)   Tue Aug 30, 2016 5:54 pm

Mission 028: Obnoxious Celtic Confederacy [Obnoxious Celtic Guardian]
"jakey it's horrible obnoxious celtic steve has rallied up obnoxious celtic followers and incited obnoxious celtic civil war, claiming that his obnoxious celtic confederacy wants to break away from the obnoxious celtic monarchy" "this must have angered the obnoxious celtic king" "oh he is obnoxious celtic pissed right the fuck off and he wants me and a dear obnoxious celtic friend to the obnoxious celtic people to stop this obnoxious celtic uprising with obnoxious celtic violence" "my obnoxious celtic favourite kind of violence" Jakey and Obnoxious Celtic Guardian hop into The Obnoxious Celtic Motherfucker and drive to the Obnoxious Celtic Site of the Obnoxious Celtic Confederacy. "what do we want" "obnoxious celtic independence!!!" "when do we want it" "sometime in the near obnoxious celtic future!!!" Jakey fires an Obnoxious Celtic Bullet from his Obnoxious Celtic Gun right into Obnoxious Celtic Steve's Obnoxious Celtic Head. "anyone else want obnoxious celtic independence" "no" "yeah the obnoxious celtic king is the obnoxious celtic man" "let's go back to our obnoxious celtic homes in the obnoxious celtic heart of the greatest obnoxious celtic nation in the obnoxious celtic world" "word up my obnoxious celtic nigga" The Obnoxious Celtic Strikers leave the area, aside from Michelle, who hucks an Obnoxious Celtic Tomato at Jakey. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/Obnoxious Celtic Monarchy t-shirt]
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://www.last.fm/user/Teh_Jakester/
Jakeyadventure
apple computers


Male
Number of posts : 7687
Age : 23
Favourite Band : Nirvana
Registration date : 2007-12-29

PostSubject: Re: One Thing Leads to Another (2013)   Tue Aug 30, 2016 5:55 pm

Mission 029: Got Milk? [Claire Who is a Ghost]
"jakey it's horrible i'm seven years late for my job at the milk factory" "i thought milk was naturally-occurring?" "someone has to bottle it" "oh right" "but that wasn't my job; i need you to get over there and deliver seven years worth of backmilk please" "can do" Jakey salutes and hops into The Motherfucker, then heads to the milk factory, where Kathy sits at her desk reading the latest issue of Chicago's most popular magazine, Carrie Magazine. "i swear to god i will never understand how this rag is popular in that shithole" "yo kathy i'm here to make the deliveries for claire" "it's about fucking time; we had to devote an entire warehouse to her undelivered milk" Kathy hands Jakey the keys to the warehouse, and he heads inside. "i don't think i've ever seen this much milk in one place before; i mean aside from that one time" Jakey turns The Motherfucker into a dump truck and loads it up with thousands of bottles of milk. Thankfully, all this milk only goes to one residence, as that particular resident drinks a lot of milk. Jakey drives his load down to the resident's residence. "MILK DELIVERY" "oh thank fuck i thought you'd NEVER come i've been waiting seven years three months two days three hours twenty-five minutes two seconds for this shit" Claire motions for Jakey to put the milk in the milk cellar, where it will age to its peak flavour and texture. The 2009 vintage is to die for, or so they say. Michelle sneaks up and grabs a bottle of 2009 milk, and chugs it all down. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/Got Milk? t-shirt]
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://www.last.fm/user/Teh_Jakester/
Jakeyadventure
apple computers


Male
Number of posts : 7687
Age : 23
Favourite Band : Nirvana
Registration date : 2007-12-29

PostSubject: Re: One Thing Leads to Another (2013)   Tue Aug 30, 2016 5:55 pm

Mission 030: Rust in Peace [Claire Who is a Ghost]
"JAKEY IT'S HORRIBLE THEY'RE COMING" "who-" "MILK RUSTLERS; COME TO STEAL ALL MY MILK" "oh nooooooo" "i know right; this milk is the pride and joy of the one who is me" "i-" "the sentence got away from me all right" "anyway what's the plan" "to stop them!!!" "that's not a plan that's a goal" "well-wait what was that" A faint rustling noise is heard from the milk cellar. "FUCK" Claire phases down through the floor, and Jakey takes the stairs downward. "Ah Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Now It Is We Who Will Have All Of The Delicious Milk" "You Said It Robert Truckdriver" "STOP HALT GET BACK MOTHERFUCKER" Claire goes into a fighting stance, but Robert Truckdriver 67 and 79 walk straight through her. "GODDAMMIT" Jakey stands at the bottom of the stairs, preventing the Robert Truckdriver clones from going upstairs. "Excuse Me Sir Could You Please Move" "no" "Could We Perhaps Bribe You With Some Exquisite 2011 Vintage Milk" "no" "Well Shit" "I Did Not Want To Have To Resort To Violence But You Have Forced My Hand" Robert Truckdriver 67 carefully sets down his pallet of milk, and winds up a vicious haymaker. Jakey takes the hit straight to the head and feigns defeat. "Well That Was Easy" Robert Truckdriver 79 sets down his pallet to clap and to cheer, and Jakey takes this moment to strike. Jakey uses the slope of the stairs to launch himself 180 degrees flipways, and plows his fists into the Robert Truckdriver clones. Claire begins to clap and to cheer as Jakey drags the unconscious bodies out to the street. "yo deputy we've got a couple of milk rustlers here" Deputy Orange arrives within the second of hearing of the rustling attempt. "MILK RUSTLING IS A CAPITAL CRIME IN ALABAMA; YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN UNCONSCIOUS" Deputy Orange slaps a pair of handcuffs onto the Robert Truckdriver clones and has his horse drag them down the street to the prison. "jakey we had a message for you at the station from your sister" Deputy Orange hands Jakey a note written in a big flowing script, reading "take me home"
[reward: respect +/Deputy Orange missions]
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://www.last.fm/user/Teh_Jakester/
Jakeyadventure
apple computers


Male
Number of posts : 7687
Age : 23
Favourite Band : Nirvana
Registration date : 2007-12-29

PostSubject: Re: One Thing Leads to Another (2013)   Tue Aug 30, 2016 5:55 pm

Mission 031: Dreaming on My Pillow in the Morning [The Great Cheryl]
"I WAKE UP EVERY MORNING AT THE CRACK OF NOON AND THERE'S ALWAYS LIKE A DOZEN CHALLENGERS AT MY BEDSIDE TRYING TO STRIP ME OF MY CHAMPIONSHIP BELT" "i could never wake up that early" "magic requires dedication jerry" "why don't you create a magical double of yourself and have the double respond to all title fights" "THAT IS A GREAT IDEA; i'm glad i had it" "so am i" The Great Cheryl conjures up a second The Great Cheryl, only with brown hair instead of blonde. "this way we will always know which one is the real me" "unless the double changes her hair colour to blonde magically" "she would never do that; she respects me far too much to" "fair enough" "now go brown-haired the great cheryl; go and defend my title while i sit back and read the latest issue of kathy magazine" "CAN DO" The Great Cheryl's magical double leaves the room and heads to the ring, where she faces her first challenger, Michelle. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/The Great Cheryl Championship t-shirt]
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://www.last.fm/user/Teh_Jakester/
Jakeyadventure
apple computers


Male
Number of posts : 7687
Age : 23
Favourite Band : Nirvana
Registration date : 2007-12-29

PostSubject: Re: One Thing Leads to Another (2013)   Tue Aug 30, 2016 5:55 pm

Mission 032: Never Been Awake; Never Seen the Day Break [The Great Cheryl]
"yo the-" "jerry i'm really busy right now i'm sorry but could you please direct your statements/questions to the magical double" "o-okay i guess" "thanks" The Great Cheryl returns to her delicate magical experiments, and Jakey walks over to the magical double, who is sitting down and staring at the title belt. "did i earn this" "sort of" "i have memories of all of the great cheryl's triumphs, but i am not the great cheryl; i am just a copy" "oh hey speaking of copies there is a clone of me you should totally meet; you and him have a lot in common, especially regarding extistential crisiseseses" "a clone? how do you know which one is the original" "oh that's easy; it's me" "how can you be sure though with no unique physical features" Jakey shrugs. "just this feeling i get; the clone seemed to know what's up as well" "but-" "listen i'll let him explain it to you i'm sure he's thought about it more than i have" Jakey scribbles down his clone's phone number and hands it to The Great Cheryl's magical double. "well uh thanks" The Great Cheryl's magical double grabs her phone and begins to call Jakey's clone, right as the real The Great Cheryl yanks Michelle out of her hat. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/The Great Cheryls t-shirt]
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://www.last.fm/user/Teh_Jakester/
Jakeyadventure
apple computers


Male
Number of posts : 7687
Age : 23
Favourite Band : Nirvana
Registration date : 2007-12-29

PostSubject: Re: One Thing Leads to Another (2013)   Tue Aug 30, 2016 5:55 pm

Mission 033: Comatose [Crazy Svart]
"yo crazy svart how's the coma treating you" Jakey receives no answer. "good good well uh i brought you this 'get well eventually' balloon; i'll just tie it to the bedpost here" Jakey ties the balloon to the bedpost, and the corner of the bed rises into the air slightly. "so uh i'll just be going i suppose" Jakey turns to leave the room as Michelle walks in and ties three more balloons to the remaining bedposts, levitating the bed above the floor. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/balloons jacket]
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://www.last.fm/user/Teh_Jakester/
Jakeyadventure
apple computers


Male
Number of posts : 7687
Age : 23
Favourite Band : Nirvana
Registration date : 2007-12-29

PostSubject: Re: One Thing Leads to Another (2013)   Tue Aug 30, 2016 5:55 pm

Mission 034: Wish I Were with You, but I Couldn't Stay [King Bran]
"jakey in emelyn's absence i have hired temporary help but the woman who responded to my ad seems like she's confused about what a royal maid does could you go and check up on her" "can do" Jakey spins around and heads to the laundry room, where he sees Candice. "yo" "oh hey jakey i saw this ad in the new kathy times about king bran needing a homemaker but i haven't made any homes so far; i've just been folding laundry?" "maybe you're supposed to make the house out of the laundry?" "that doesn't sound very structurally uh sound" "who knows what goes through the heads of royals" "good point" Candice begins to stack the laundry up into a house shape, sticking it all together with caulk. Candice then reaches back into the dryer for more laundry, but grabs Michelle instead. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/Emelyn missions/Construction Candice missions]
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://www.last.fm/user/Teh_Jakester/
Jakeyadventure
apple computers


Male
Number of posts : 7687
Age : 23
Favourite Band : Nirvana
Registration date : 2007-12-29

PostSubject: Re: One Thing Leads to Another (2013)   Tue Aug 30, 2016 5:55 pm

Mission 035: Every Direction Leads Me Away [King Bran]
"jakey this wasn't what i had in mind" King Bran motions to the house made of his own laundry, permanently caulked together. "well-" "IT'S EVEN BETTER"  King Bran motions for Jakey to enter his new house. "she even made WORKING APPLIANCES out of laundry; how did she even do that" "the lady is a professional clearly" "hey want to watch the big sports match with me on my television made entirely out of royal pants" "fuck yes" Jakey and King Bran plop down on the couch made out of royal socks and eat chips from bowls made of royal shirts. "AND FYLLOUR HURLS A BULLET PASS, WHICH SOARS OUT OF THE STADIUM AND MICHELLE IS CHASING AFTER IT" "THE BALL IS HEADING STRAIGHT FOR KING BRAN'S CASTLE BOB" "RIGHT YOU ARE BOB; MICHELLE LEAPS BACKWARD AND CATCHES THE BALL WITH ONE HAND BEFORE IT CAN FALL INTO KING BRAN'S CHIPS" "WHAT A MIRACULOUS SAVE BOB" "NOW DOWN TO KATHY WITH OUR MVP" "thanks steve and bob; michelle, how does it feel to have won the championship for your club" "feels good man" "do you have anything you'd like to say to your fans" Michelle thinks for just a moment. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/Michelle jersey]
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://www.last.fm/user/Teh_Jakester/
Jakeyadventure
apple computers


Male
Number of posts : 7687
Age : 23
Favourite Band : Nirvana
Registration date : 2007-12-29

PostSubject: Re: One Thing Leads to Another (2013)   Tue Aug 30, 2016 5:56 pm

Mission 036: Stacked to the Rafters [Rachel]
"hey rachel i was-" "like oh my god!!! hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!! like long time no see!!!" Rachel glomps onto Jakey. "oh good a hugger" "well of course!!!" "so uh did you get an acting job yet or" "uh no but i've auditioned for several parts!!!" "such as" "oh there was this amazing crest toothpaste commercial!!! i had to like brush my teeth for the camera which suited me fine because i practice twice a day!!!" The doorbell rings. "oh!!! let me get that!!!" Rachel skips over to the door and sees Post Lady Layla leaving, and a bunch of letters in her box. "thank you miss post lady!!!" Rachel rifles through her mail. "oh boy!!! a reply from the toothpaste company!!!" Rachel excitedly opens the letter. "dear ms jackson - that's me!!! we regret to inform you that you did not get the part and we have instead gone with someone else" Rachel looks down at the floor for a moment, sad, but quickly perks back up. "oh that's all right!!! there are plenty of acting jobs for everyone right!!!" "uh right" Just then, Michelle bursts into Rachel's house, plowing Rachel over. "JAKEY JAKEY I GOT THE PART; I AM CREST'S NEW TOOTHPASTE MODEL" Michelle does a little victory dance, as a single tear streams down Rachel's face onto the carpet. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/Crest toothpaste t-shirt]
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://www.last.fm/user/Teh_Jakester/
Jakeyadventure
apple computers


Male
Number of posts : 7687
Age : 23
Favourite Band : Nirvana
Registration date : 2007-12-29

PostSubject: Re: One Thing Leads to Another (2013)   Tue Aug 30, 2016 5:56 pm

Mission 037: Line Up the Bastards [Rachel]
"so any news on the acting front" "i'm waiting for a letter from the hershey candy corporation!!! i have applied to be the lady whose peanut butter is assaulted by a bar of chocolate!!!" "two great tastes that taste great together" "i know right!!!" The doorbell rings. "oh!!! let me get that!!!" Rachel skips over to the door and sees Post Lady Layla leaving, and a fresh letter in her box. "thank you miss post lady!!!" Rachel looks at the letter. "oh boy!!! it's from mr hershey himself!!!" Rachel excitedly opens the letter. "dear ms jackson - that's me!!! we regret to inform you that you did not get the part and we have instead gone with someone else" Rachel looks down at the floor for a moment, sad, but perks back up after a bit. "i-it's okay!!! i'm sure i'll get a part if i keep trying!!!" "th-that's the spirit" Just then, Michelle bursts into Rachel's house a second time, knocking Rachel over again. "JAKEY JAKEY I GOT THE PART; I AM REESE'S NEW PEANUT BUTTER-HOLDER LADY PERSON" Michelle does a little victory dance as a single tear streams down Rachel's face onto the carpet. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/Reese's Peanut Butter Cups t-shirt]
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://www.last.fm/user/Teh_Jakester/
Jakeyadventure
apple computers


Male
Number of posts : 7687
Age : 23
Favourite Band : Nirvana
Registration date : 2007-12-29

PostSubject: Re: One Thing Leads to Another (2013)   Tue Aug 30, 2016 5:56 pm

Mission 038: All I Want is the Truth [Rachel]
"hey rachel you okay" "um yeah totally that's me the okayest in the world" "you don't sound okay; your enthusiasm isn't there" "what it totally is" Jakey shakes his head. "come on; let's get something to eat" "i-i'm not hungry" "oh yes you're so not hungry that your stomach's growling can be heard from a mile away" "it's the tv" "the tv isn't even plugged in" "the other tv" Jakey shakes his head and grabs Rachel by the hand, dragging her out to The Motherfucker. "what you need is a good meal and someone to tell you everything will be all right" "o-okay" Jakey drives out to Brucie's Steakhouse. "yo brucie two of your steakiest steaks; well done" "as it should be; i don't serve undercooked meats" Jakey and Rachel sit down at their table. "jakey do you think i'll ever become an actress" "the road may be hard, but it's very important to chase your dreams; the feeling you'll get when you finally realise your dream will outweigh all the hardships that might happen; you're young and have the time ahead of you to make it count, make it HAPPEN" "you're right!!! i can't let a dozen disappointments get me down!!! there may be several dozen more but they will like me eventually!!! uh right" "right" "so hey!!! you never told me what's your dream" "well i've always wanted to-" Michelle puts her hand over Jakey's mouth. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/Brucie's Steakhouse t-shirt/Brucie missions/vague relationship with Rachel]
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://www.last.fm/user/Teh_Jakester/
Jakeyadventure
apple computers


Male
Number of posts : 7687
Age : 23
Favourite Band : Nirvana
Registration date : 2007-12-29

PostSubject: Re: One Thing Leads to Another (2013)   Tue Aug 30, 2016 5:56 pm

Mission 039: You Made a Fool of Me [Sheriff Antony]
"jakey we've gotten reports of EVIL terrorising an alabamanian citizen" "we've got no time to lose" Jakey and Sheriff Antony hop into The Motherfucker and drive off for the source of the distress call. "HAVE NO FEAR CITIZEN" "oh thank fucking christ / i have had it up to here / arrest this lady" "i haven't done anything wrong / don't shoot me down like king kong / i'm just here minding my own / this ain't a yumi-free zone" "did she uh do anything illegal" "she is committing / domestic disturbances / keeping me awake" "that sounds damning; your rebuttal" "art should never be silenced / especially not through violence" "this isn't violent though" "yet" "find me another word that rhymes with silence / you'll find nothing but violence" "maybe you should have thought of another word to use in the first line" Sheriff Antony slaps handcuffs onto Yumi. "since your defense was woefully inadequate, you're going to have to stand trial for your misdeeds; you have the right to remain silent" Jakey slaps some duct tape onto Yumi's mouth. "just so you're not tempted" "tempted by the fruit of another" "tempted but the truth is discovered" Sheriff Antony loads Yumi onto the back of his horse and rides off, singing to himself. "thank you for the save / i am very grateful now / appreciation" "appreciation to you too ma'am" "APPRECIATE GOOD TIMES COME ON" Michelle appears through a mass of balloons and confetti. "i especially appreciate when you take me home"
[reward: respect +/Yuko missions]
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://www.last.fm/user/Teh_Jakester/
Jakeyadventure
apple computers


Male
Number of posts : 7687
Age : 23
Favourite Band : Nirvana
Registration date : 2007-12-29

PostSubject: Re: One Thing Leads to Another (2013)   Tue Aug 30, 2016 5:56 pm

Mission 040: But Them Broken Dreams Have Got to End [Sheriff Antony]
"jakey that bad poetry from the last suspect left an awful taste in my mouth; i believe it is time for a second 2013 annual poetry slam" "if you're not careful people will begin to believe it's a biannual event" "good point; i'd better sustain a head injury first" Sheriff Antony hands Jakey a bat. "okay hit me as hard as you can in the head" "note that i am doing this for the love of poetry slams rather than the love of hurting sheriff antony" "noted" Jakey winds up and bludgeons Sheriff Antony in the head repeatedly. After a few minutes of unconsciousness, Sheriff Antony awakens. "what month is it" "december" "OH FUCK I HAVEN'T DONE A POETRY SLAM THIS YEAR" Sheriff Antony hastily scrawls some banners and blows up some balloons. "okay so it's just us but that's fine; lay a poem on me" "but you haven't done the intro" "RIGHT SORRY" Sheriff Antony clears his throat. "COME ON AND JAM AND WELCOME TO THE POETRY SLAM" Jakey nods, contented. "perpetuity / snow falls, beautiful and white / each and every year" Sheriff Antony claps and readies his own haiku. "in winter's cold grasp / hanukkah guy will soon come / delivering gifts" Jakey claps as Michelle takes the stage for her haiku. "brown and barren trees / nakedly dotting the land / as you take me home"
[reward: respect +/2013 Annual Poetry Slam jacket]
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://www.last.fm/user/Teh_Jakester/
Jakeyadventure
apple computers


Male
Number of posts : 7687
Age : 23
Favourite Band : Nirvana
Registration date : 2007-12-29

PostSubject: Re: One Thing Leads to Another (2013)   Tue Aug 30, 2016 5:56 pm

Mission 041: The Duty of a Deputy [Deputy Orange]
"jakey today is the annual 'deputy-off' in which i must defend my title as deputy against other deputy hopefuls" "who did you defeat to become deputy" "johnny depputy, but he's back for revenge" "THAT'S RIGHT; i've been training for years to get my title as deputy back, and i will stop at NOTHING to defeat you, orange" "oof he didn't even refer to you by your title; that must sting" "more than you know jakey" A single tear streams down Deputy Orange's cheek. "more than you know" Deputy Orange and Johnny Depp take their places in the line-up of deputy hopefuls as King Bran heads to the podium. "HELLO ALABAMA AND WELCOME TO THIS YEAR'S ANNUAL DEPUTY-OFF; i have lost track of how many years we've been doing this for, but it is irrelevant; ONLY ONE WILL LEAVE HERE TODAY AS THE DEPUTY OF ALABAMA; WILL IT BE OUR CURRENT DEPUTY, DEPUTY ORANGE" The crowd gives Deputy Orange a lukewarm reception. "THE PREVIOUS DEPUTY, JOHNNY DEPP" The crowd hoots and hollers for Johnny Depp. "ROBERT TRUCKDRIVER 27" The Robert Truckdriver section of the crowd hoots and hollers for Robert Truckdriver 27. "JAKEY'S CLONE" The crowd erupts in concentrating booing at Jakey's clone, with a few stragglers cheering. "OR ONE OF THESE OTHER LOSERS I DON'T KNOW THE NAME OF" Jakey stands straight up from his seat. "WOOH YEAH LOSERS" "let the deputy-off COMMENCE" King Bran fires the starting pistol into the air, and the prospective deputies take off from the line, except for Deputy Orange. "I-I-I CAN'T MOVE" Deputy Orange tries his hardest, but his socks and sandals are stuck to the tar. Deputy Orange quickly tears off his socks and sandals, exposing his bare feet to the winter chill, and sprints to catch up with the pack, led by Johnny Depp. Luckily, Deputy Orange's best segment is up next: the 100m ice slide. Unluckily, Deputy Orange's feet are bare, and he is risking frostbyte even without stepping on the ice. For the sake of his job and very way of life, Deputy Orange dives onto the ice and slides on his stomach, spinning 90 degrees to knock out three fellow competitors, including Robert Truckdriver 27. "Oh Darn" Deputy Orange slides straight into his sled, beginning the downhill portion, where the fact that he is already on his stomach saves him time in mounting the sled. His sled plows straight through Jakey's clone, sending him flying into the snowbank headfirst. As Jakey's clone flails to get out of the snowbank, Deputy Orange closes in on Johnny Depp. Slightly impressed at Deputy Orange making it this far, Johnny Depp grabs a handful of snow, places his knife into it, and hucks it straight at Deputy Orange's face. The snowball hits its mark, and the knife embeds itself in Deputy Orange's left eye. Fighting through the pain, Deputy Orange receives a bump from behind by another hopeful, speeding him up and allowing him to pass Johnny Depp at the last second. Deputy Orange collapses, having won back his title. Johnny Depp smirks as he crosses second, as the poison on the blade will do its work in time. Unfortunately, Jakey is there to remove the knife and bleed into the wound, rendering the poison inert and granting Deputy Orange his eye back. "NOOOOOOOOO" Johnny Depp falls to the ground and pounds the cold snow. Deputy Orange walks over to Johnny Depp and extends his hand, feigning friendship. Johnny Depp tries to smack the hand away, but is handcuffed before he can do so. "you're under arrest for being a cheating fucker; you have the right to remain salty - anything you say can and will be used against you every time i see you for the rest of your life" The final few hopefuls finish their slide down the hill, and Michelle plows Jakey straight over. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/2013 Deputy-Off t-shirt/King Bran missions]
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://www.last.fm/user/Teh_Jakester/
Jakeyadventure
apple computers


Male
Number of posts : 7687
Age : 23
Favourite Band : Nirvana
Registration date : 2007-12-29

PostSubject: Re: One Thing Leads to Another (2013)   Tue Aug 30, 2016 5:56 pm

Mission 042: Olympus Mons [Emelyn]
"HELLO AND WELCOME TO THE MAIDERY OLYMPICS; I'M STEVE" "AND I'M STEVE" "LET'S WASTE NO TIME AND GO DOWN TO KATHY WITH THIS YEAR'S FAVOURITE TO SWEEP THE GAMES" "thank you steve and bob; i am here with uh" Kathy squints to read Emelyn's nametag. "emelyn?, who is in prime form here tonight folks; emmy, tell us about your strategy going forward" "i aim to score more points than the other guy" "sound strategy; you cannot win if you score less points than your opponent, unless you are playing golf; back to you steve and bob" "THANK YOU KATHY; THE MAIDS ARE LINED UP AND ARE READY TO GO IN OUR FIRST EVENT, THE 200m SWEEPING" "THERE ARE 200 METRES OF DUST AND DIRT ON THAT TRACK, AND IT IS UP TO THE MAIDS TO SWEEP IT ALL UNDER THE OLYMPIC REGULATION-SIZED RUG" "AND THEY ARE OFF BOB" "RIGHT YOU ARE BOB; EMELYN IS OUT TO A COMMANDING EARLY LEAD" "BUT ROBERT TRUCKDRIVER 57 IS CATCHING UP SWIFTLY" "AND IN THIRD IS FLOOR SWEEPOUR, LIVING UP TO HIS NAME" "IT DOESN'T MATTER, THOUGH, ALL OF EMELYN'S DIRT IS SWEPT UNDER THE RUG AND ALABAMA WINS THE GOLD" "THE SILVER GOES TO ROBERT TRUCKDRIVERLAND, AND THE BRONZE GOES TO ALABAMA" "ROBERT TRUCKDRIVERLAND IS NOT A NATION RECOGNISED BY THE ALABAMANIAN GOVERNMENT, SO THE SILVER DEFAULTS TO ALABAMA" "GOD BLESS THIS COUNTRY" The press swarms up to Emelyn, but Michelle manages to make it there first, saying what is on everyone's mind. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/Maidery Olympics Emelyn t-shirt]
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://www.last.fm/user/Teh_Jakester/
Jakeyadventure
apple computers


Male
Number of posts : 7687
Age : 23
Favourite Band : Nirvana
Registration date : 2007-12-29

PostSubject: Re: One Thing Leads to Another (2013)   Tue Aug 30, 2016 5:56 pm

Mission 043: Medal Ceremony [Emelyn]
"IN CASE YOU MISSED IT FOLKS, EMELYN HAS SWEPT THE MAIDERY OLYMPICS; HERE IS KATHY WITH AN INTERVIEW" "thank you bob and steve; emmy, you have won gold in the 200m sweeping, the freeform featherdustery, the cross-country laundry run, the 50m patch-sewing, the out-of-milk store run, and even the pole vault; how does it feel to be the ultimate maid" "feels okay i guess" "there you have it; look forward to an in-depth interview in this week's kathy magazine; for sale soon on newsstands for just $12.95; back to you bob and steve" "AND THERE YOU HAVE IT; TWELVE MAIDS ENTERED FOR THE CHANCE AT GLORY, AND ELEVEN FUCKED IT UP" "INDEED, BOB, INDEED" "SIGNING OFF, I'M STEVE" "AND I'M STEVE" Michelle wanders up into the booth. "hey can i get a hot dog" Jakey turns Michelle around, pointing her at the food stand, where she does order her hot dog. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/2013 Maidery Olympics jacket]
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://www.last.fm/user/Teh_Jakester/
Jakeyadventure
apple computers


Male
Number of posts : 7687
Age : 23
Favourite Band : Nirvana
Registration date : 2007-12-29

PostSubject: Re: One Thing Leads to Another (2013)   Tue Aug 30, 2016 5:57 pm

Mission 044: Drinks Soft as a Pillow [Construction Candice]
"jakey i have been commissioned by the pepsi cola corporation to build their new pepsi cola restaurant" "what are you waiting for go go do this so we can eat there" "i've already built it; now director bendik is going to dedicate the building to the founder of the pepsi cola corporation, pepsi jones, and i will be the guest of honour; me and my +1 will be the first to sample the delectable cuisine" "who's-" Candice frowns and grabs Jakey's arm, dragging him into the recently-dedicated restaurant. "hello!!! how may i help you!!!" "i'd know that overly enthusiastic voice anywhere" "you caught me!!! i took this job while waiting for my big break!!!" "how pragmatic" "can i get you anything to drink!!!" "i'll have a standard mountain dew" "i will have pepsi-brand hard liquor" "coming right up!!!" Rachel dashes back to the kitchen, the immediately returns to the table with the drinks. "what will you be having to eat today!!!" "i'll have the pepsi-battered haddock" "i'll have the t-bone steak with the tangy pepsi glaze" "coming right up!!!" Rachel takes away the menus and returns seconds later with the food. "how-" "it's a company secret!!!" "mmm i love a good mystery" "MYSTERY?!" A mysterious lady falls from the ceiling, smashing and breaking the table. "um!!! good job i hadn't set down the food yet!!!" "SORRY NEED THIS AS EVIDENCE" The mystery lady grabs the plates and runs off to inspect them more closely in the employee lounge. "uh-" "that is so rude!!! i'll go get you two another meal!!! i'm so sorry about this!!!" "it's fine; take your-" By the time the words leave Jakey's lips, Rachel is back with two more plates. "if the food is half as good as the service, i'm rating this place five stars" Jakey and Candice dig into their meals while Rachel checks up on the mystery lady. "um!!! you can't be back here!!! employees only!!!" "why can't i" "i-" "sounds like a MYSTERY to me" The lady begins tearing up the employee lounge. "no!!! not the couch!!! it was so young!!!" Meanwhile, Jakey and Candice finish their meals and make out their restaurant review cards. "10s all around" "definitely; the pepsi glaze added a new dimension of flavour i didn't think was possible" "word up" The two finish making out their cards and hand them to Michelle. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/Pepsi Cola Restaurant t-shirt/Director Bendik missions/Rachel missions]
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://www.last.fm/user/Teh_Jakester/
Jakeyadventure
apple computers


Male
Number of posts : 7687
Age : 23
Favourite Band : Nirvana
Registration date : 2007-12-29

PostSubject: Re: One Thing Leads to Another (2013)   Tue Aug 30, 2016 5:57 pm

Mission 045: Obnoxious Celtic Surf's Up! [Construction Candice]
"jakey i have been commissioned by the obnoxious celtic council to create an obnoxious celtic beach for obnoxious celtic families and obnoxious celtic surfers to enjoy" "watch out for obnoxious celtic sharks" "that's why i'm notifying you; i would like you to protect me while i build the obnoxious celtic beach" "can do" Jakey and Candice hop into The Motherfucker and head to the Obnoxious Celtic Country. "all right you do your thing while i do mine" "sounds good" Candice gets to work on building the Obnoxious Celtic Beach with her mighty Obnoxious Celtic Hammer. Meanwhile, Jakey twirls his Obnoxious Celtic Guns around and does cool poses. As soon as the first few feet of Obnoxious Celtic Beach are built, Obnoxious Celtic Sharks come to have a snack, as Obnoxious Celtic Sharks know that Obnoxious Celtic Beaches are an Obnoxious Celtic Buffet for them. Jakey quickly stops acting like an Obnoxious Celtic Idiot and pumps the Obnoxious Celtic Sharks full of Obnoxious Celtic Lead. The Obnoxious Celtic Sharks laugh off Jakey's attempt at killing them, and continue to close in on Candice, as she looks delicious and tender. "augh what is that obnoxious celtic smell" "that's what you call OBNOXIOUS CELTIC SHARK REPELLENT" "oh well shit then" The Obnoxious Celtic Sharks turn their attention to Jakey, and bite off his limbs in perpetuity until Candice finishes the Obnoxious Celtic Beach. "OBNOXIOUS CELTIC SURF'S UP DUDES" The Obnoxious Celtic Surfers bumrush the Obnoxious Celtic Beach, trampling Jakey and the Obnoxious Celtic Sharks to death. Jakey is healed quickly, but the memory of the incredible pain will never cease. "that went well" "all's well that ends well i suppose" Michelle gets wiped out by a huge wave and washes ashore. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/Obnoxious Celtic Beach t-shirt/Obnoxious Celtic Shark jacket]
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://www.last.fm/user/Teh_Jakester/
Jakeyadventure
apple computers


Male
Number of posts : 7687
Age : 23
Favourite Band : Nirvana
Registration date : 2007-12-29

PostSubject: Re: One Thing Leads to Another (2013)   Tue Aug 30, 2016 5:57 pm

Mission 046: Guerilla Marketing [Brucie]
"jakey the sale of my junk hasn't been going so well the past couple months so i'd like you to try out some new marketing tactics" "can do" Jakey grabs a bunch of junk out of the yard and hangs it inside of a trenchcoat, which he then puts on. Jakey stands and waits at the edge of a dark alley for someone to pass by. "hey hey what's the hurry miss; i've got some good shit" Jakey opens his trenchcoat, revealing a line of junk. "we've got whosits and whatsits galore yo; all good quality shit" "well i have been looking for a new whatever this is to replace mine that broke" Gwendolyn hands Jakey twenty Alabama Fun Bux in exchange for whatever that is. "yo thank you for your patronage and shit; come again soon" "will do" Gwendolyn half-asses a salute and walks off as the next person approaches the alley. "hey hey yo yo stop a while see anything you like whatever you need girl i'm your man" Michelle thinks for just a moment. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/Gwendolyn missions]
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://www.last.fm/user/Teh_Jakester/
Jakeyadventure
apple computers


Male
Number of posts : 7687
Age : 23
Favourite Band : Nirvana
Registration date : 2007-12-29

PostSubject: Re: One Thing Leads to Another (2013)   Tue Aug 30, 2016 5:57 pm

Mission 047: It Ain't Easy [Brucie]
"good job on the small items jakey but i need someone to rent out these appliances" "i've got just the idea for that" Jakey puts on a long fuzzy purple coat and hat, as well as gold-rimmed sunglasses and gold chains and rings. "hey hey yo the finest appliances this side of canada; right here" "i need to do a load of laundry real quick - urgent-like" "just insert your coin yo" Grace puts her coin into the slot and quickly washes all the blood out of her clothes. "thank you sir" Grace takes her clothes and scampers off. "all right washie; where's my money" Jakey tries to open the money drawer, but the drawer is stuck. "WHERE'S MY MONEY BITCH" Jakey backhands the washer, causing the drawer to pop right out. Jakey pulls out the single coin and kisses it. "hey wait there's something else in here" Jakey rummages through the drawer and pulls out Michelle. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/appliance salesman outfit/Special Agent Grace missions]
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://www.last.fm/user/Teh_Jakester/
Jakeyadventure
apple computers


Male
Number of posts : 7687
Age : 23
Favourite Band : Nirvana
Registration date : 2007-12-29

PostSubject: Re: One Thing Leads to Another (2013)   Tue Aug 30, 2016 5:57 pm

Mission 048: Funeral for a Friend [Yuko]
"jakey i am sad / my dear pet goldfish just died / RIP in peace swimmy" "come; he deserves a proper burial" Jakey grabs Swimmy's fishbowl and walks Yuko out to the backyard. Jakey picks a spot under a beautiful sakura tree, places Swimmy into a nice matchbox, and places a single cherry blossom petal onto Swimmy's body. "we are gathered here today to mourn the loss of a beloved pet and friend, swimmy the goldfish" "there is no justice / why must the good die so young / i miss him so much" "swimmy had a beautiful golden coat of scales, and was a champion swimmer in the goldfish league, winning many gold medals for his native japan" "he dies a legend / no star ever shone brighter / his name immortal" "it is important that here today we do not just mourn his death, but also celebrate his life and the joy he brought to us all" Jakey slowly shuts the lid of the matchbox, and places it into a small hole. "return to the earth / as we all must do someday / we'll never forget" "amen" Jakey covers the hole, sending Swimmy to his final rest. Michelle cries on Yuko's shoulder and blows her nose loudly. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/Swimmy memorial t-shirt]
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://www.last.fm/user/Teh_Jakester/
Jakeyadventure
apple computers


Male
Number of posts : 7687
Age : 23
Favourite Band : Nirvana
Registration date : 2007-12-29

PostSubject: Re: One Thing Leads to Another (2013)   Tue Aug 30, 2016 5:57 pm

Mission 049: Baby Hold On [Yuko]
"hey yuko how are you holding up" "coping with this loss / every day is a struggle / but i will survive" "good to hear, i suppose" "in his memory / i've started a charity / swimmy foundation" "what does the charity raise money for" "to help young goldfish / that wish to achieve their dreams / just like swimmy did" "a noble goal; i will pledge a thousand canada fun bux" Jakey writes Yuko a cheque for 1,000 Canada Fun Bux. "thanks for your support / it means a whole lot to us / me and my swimmy" "any time" Michelle also hands Yuko a cheque for 1,000 Canada Fun Bux. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/Swimmy Foundation t-shirt]
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://www.last.fm/user/Teh_Jakester/
 
One Thing Leads to Another (2013)
View previous topic View next topic Back to top 
Page 2 of 4Go to page : Previous  1, 2, 3, 4  Next
 Similar topics
-
» San Japan (Aug 16-18 2013) San Antonio, TX
» What Is the Best Thing You Ever Did?
» Next best thing to a time machine...if you're from Boston anyway
» "Just one last thing..." Columbo's last exit: Peter Falk RIP
» Warner Bros. moves Superman to 2013

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
ADVENTURE :: high tier :: the a thing series-
Jump to: