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HEY MISTER CAN WE HAVE OUR BALL BACK

ADVENTURE

HEY MISTER CAN WE HAVE OUR BALL BACK
 
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 Teh Forum RPG [Reboot] [Remaster] VII

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Jakeyadventure
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PostSubject: Teh Forum RPG [Reboot] [Remaster] VII   Sun Aug 21, 2016 11:45 pm

CHAPTOUR ONE:
"so uh hey i'm calling about this weird portal that's opened in my living room" "do you know where the portal leads sir" "uh no i haven't stepped through" "oh so it doesn't show you?" "no, it's just swirly and pink" "magenta or fuchsia" "more rose pink than anything" "oh dear what you've got there is a portal to the eighth dimension" "oh dear" "the best course of action to take right now is to surround it with refrigerators or other tall, heavy appliances" "uh why" "because you don't want the residents of the eighth dimension to exit through the portal and take over our world" "oh good call" Bran surrounds the portal with appliances. "good now make sure that you have plenty of garlic in your fridge" "a-are the residents of the eighth dimension vampires?!" "no, but garlic is the natural predator of HARLEQUIN FOETUS KNIGHTS"
Sheriff Antony twirls his revolvers. "heh" Bran launches the harlequin foetus knight into the air, and Sheriff Antony shoots it with his revolvers. Taylor leaps into the air and impales the harlequin foetus knight. Taylor leaps off, and Tony runs at the harlequin foetus knight, sword dragging across the floor, and releases it into a deadly spiral of energy. The harlequin foetus knight is launched into the air, and Michelle leaps at it and kicks it at a wall. Amiee :3 makes pastry for Jakey and Eif as they play Strip Downhill Domination. "so like" "yeah?" "what now" "well according to protocol, one of us has to get his/her powers now" "but i already have them" "play along you you not-very-cool guy" "TAKE THAT BACK" "okay yeah that was mean" "OKAY" Jakey runs around aimlessly and gets struck by a bolt of electricity. Electricity shoots from Jakey's left hand and obliterates the harlequin foetus knight. "wow nice job jakey" "yeah you're pretty cool" "you mean it?!" "no" "fuck"
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Jakeyadventure
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PostSubject: Re: Teh Forum RPG [Reboot] [Remaster] VII   Sun Aug 21, 2016 11:45 pm

CHAPTOUR TWO:
"man working to build this gigantic skyscraper builds up a real hunger" "luckily, i've brought a minifridge; help yourself to whatever you'd like" "oh fuck yes" Jakey runs over to the minifridge and grabs out a Mountain Dew Livewire and a stick of butter. "delicious" Taylor grabs next, and takes out a whole plate of already-cooked bacon. "oh man, chewy bacon; the best possible consistency" "what the fuck man bacon should be CRISPY" "0/10" "please stop we're trying to eat here" "we haven't installed toilets yet, so we'd have to throw up off the side of the building, which would probably kill someone" "or at least make them disgusted and traumatised" Eif snatches the plate out of Taylor's hands and throws it into the EZ-Bake Oven. "DON'T YOU DARE" Taylor leaps and plows Eif, over, sending him tumbling off the side of the building, and rescues the bacon before it is burnt. "it's still good guys" "hooray" "we saved the day" Eif hits the ground, landing on top of and killing A HARLEQUIN FOETUS KNIGHT
Sheriff Antony twirls his revolvers. "heh" Bran launches the harlequin foetus knight into the air, and Sheriff Antony shoots it with his revolvers. Taylor leaps into the air and impales the harlequin foetus knight. Taylor leaps off, and Tony runs at the harlequin foetus knight, sword dragging across the floor, and releases it into a deadly spiral of energy. The harlequin foetus knight is launched into the air, and Michelle leaps at it and kicks it at a wall. Amiee :3 makes pastry for Jakey and Eif as they play Strip Wii Fit U. "so like" "yeah?" "what now" "well according to protocol, one of us has to get his/her powers now" "but i already have them" "play along you you not-very-cool guy" "TAKE THAT BACK" "okay yeah that was mean" "OKAY" Bran runs around aimlessly and gets struck by a bolt of ice. Ice shoots from Bran's left hand and obliterates the harlequin foetus knight. "wow nice job bran" "yeah you're pretty cool" "you mean it?!" "no" "fuck"
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Jakeyadventure
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Registration date : 2007-12-29

PostSubject: Re: Teh Forum RPG [Reboot] [Remaster] VII   Sun Aug 21, 2016 11:45 pm

CHAPTOUR THREE:
"hey jakey i just got my new website in the email" "oh fuck i love websites" "hey why don't we start our OWN website" "that is a brilliant idea what should our website be about" There is a slight pause as the two ponder the question put forth by Eif. At once, both utter the same word. "WEBSITES" "yes website dot com will be the best website about websites in the world!!!" "yeah, by default, even!!!" "fuck yeah default!!!" "the website world will be turned on its head once we release website dot com; the only website about websites in the world" "just imagine the sheer coverage; bandwidth and bandwidth of our website dedicated to guiding avid website-readers on their journey to reach website nirvana" "imagine reviews of websites; previews of websites; question + answer about websites" "my penis is engorged at the thought of website dot com's in-depth website coverage" "as is mine re:website dot com and its website coverage" "but who should we get to code website dot com" There is a slight pause as the two ponder the question put forth by Eif. At once, both utter the same words. "A HARLEQUIN FOETUS KNIGHT"
Sheriff Antony twirls his revolvers. "heh" Bran launches the harlequin foetus knight into the air, and Sheriff Antony shoots it with his revolvers. Taylor leaps into the air and impales the harlequin foetus knight. Taylor leaps off, and Tony runs at the harlequin foetus knight, sword dragging across the floor, and releases it into a deadly spiral of energy. The harlequin foetus knight is launched into the air, and Michelle leaps at it and kicks it at a wall. Amiee :3 makes pastry for Jakey and Eif as they play Strip Freecell. "so like" "yeah?" "what now" "well according to protocol, one of us has to get his/her powers now" "but i already have them" "play along you you not-very-cool guy" "TAKE THAT BACK" "okay yeah that was mean" "OKAY" Taylor runs around aimlessly and gets struck by a bolt of wind. Wind shoots from Taylor's left hand and obliterates the harlequin foetus knight. "wow nice job taylor" "yeah you're pretty cool" "you mean it?!" "no" "fuck"
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Jakeyadventure
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Registration date : 2007-12-29

PostSubject: Re: Teh Forum RPG [Reboot] [Remaster] VII   Sun Aug 21, 2016 11:45 pm

CHAPTOUR FOUR:
"yo dogs i just had the greatest idea" "that is impossible, for i just had the greatest idea" "maybe they're the same idea in which case it would not be impossible" "fair point; what is your idea" "we should form a band" "no that's not what my idea was" "it was probably really shitty then" "probably" "so what should our first hit single be called" "tubthumping" "isn't that illegal" "yeah i don't know if that's a good look for us" "come on; african americans write music about shooting cops and other african americans, dealing drugs, and whatever else; why can't we cash in on the tubthumper market" "i am not compromising my christian values to sell a few plastic discs" "yeah we should write music about A HARLEQUIN FOETUS KNIGHT"
Sheriff Antony twirls his revolvers. "heh" Bran launches the harlequin foetus knight into the air, and Sheriff Antony shoots it with his revolvers. Taylor leaps into the air and impales the harlequin foetus knight. Taylor leaps off, and Tony runs at the harlequin foetus knight, sword dragging across the floor, and releases it into a deadly spiral of energy. The harlequin foetus knight is launched into the air, and Michelle leaps at it and kicks it at a wall. Amiee :3 makes pastry for Jakey and Eif as they play Strip Sonic Rush Adventure. "so like" "yeah?" "what now" "well according to protocol, one of us has to get his/her powers now" "but i already have them" "play along you you not-very-cool guy" "TAKE THAT BACK" "okay yeah that was mean" "OKAY" Eif runs around aimlessly and gets struck by a bolt of fire. Fire shoots from Eif's left hand and obliterates the harlequin foetus knight. "wow nice job eif" "yeah you're pretty cool" "you mean it?!" "no" "fuck"
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Jakeyadventure
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Number of posts : 7677
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PostSubject: Re: Teh Forum RPG [Reboot] [Remaster] VII   Sun Aug 21, 2016 11:45 pm

CHAPTOUR FIVE:
"hey bros check out my boogieboard tricks" Taylor gyrates his hips as he stands on a large hunk of plastic on the beach. "uh isn't that supposed to be in the water" "what no how am i supposed to properly boogie if i have to worry about drowning and being eaten by sharks" "yeah jakey don't be stupid" "s-sorry" "i know it's hard for you but" "i know i know" Taylor continues to gyrate as Sheriff Antony walks up to the group. "wow sweet moves bro" "thanks; i've been working on them for a while" "unfortunately, it is illegal in alabama to have moves that sweet" Sheriff Antony handcuffs Taylor and drags him away to be driven to jail by A HARLEQUIN FOETUS KNIGHT
Sheriff Antony twirls his revolvers. "heh" Bran launches the harlequin foetus knight into the air, and Sheriff Antony shoots it with his revolvers. Taylor leaps into the air and impales the harlequin foetus knight. Taylor leaps off, and Tony runs at the harlequin foetus knight, sword dragging across the floor, and releases it into a deadly spiral of energy. The harlequin foetus knight is launched into the air, and Michelle leaps at it and kicks it at a wall. Amiee :3 makes pastry for Jakey and Eif as they play Strip MLB The Show 16. "so like" "yeah?" "what now" "well according to protocol, one of us has to get his/her powers now" "but i already have them" "play along you you not-very-cool guy" "TAKE THAT BACK" "okay yeah that was mean" "OKAY" Tony runs around aimlessly and gets struck by a bolt of earth. Earth shoots from Tony's left hand and obliterates the harlequin foetus knight. "wow nice job tony" "yeah you're pretty cool" "you mean it?!" "no" "fuck"
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Jakeyadventure
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PostSubject: Re: Teh Forum RPG [Reboot] [Remaster] VII   Sun Aug 21, 2016 11:46 pm

CHAPTOUR SIX:
"i can't do this man" Jakey begins to hyperventilate. "I CAN'T DO THIS MAN" Eif slaps Jakey across the face. "JAKEY YOU CAN'T BACK OUT NOW, AT THE WEDDING" "yeah you were chosen 'second best man' for a reason" "because sheriff antony couldn't make it" "and taylor is in jail after a horrific boogieboarding accident" "and the cast of rpgboot v hasn't been seen since" "i know there is a huge burden on my shoulders but i will prevail" Jakey heads to the side of the room, where he stands in wait should the best man be declared unfit for his duties. He is not, and the wedding goes off without a hitch. Jakey's day could not have gone any better, as not only was no responsibility thrust upon him, but he also got to eat some cake and have a fun discussion with A HARLEQUIN FOETUS KNIGHT
Sheriff Antony twirls his revolvers. "heh" Bran launches the harlequin foetus knight into the air, and Sheriff Antony shoots it with his revolvers. Taylor leaps into the air and impales the harlequin foetus knight. Taylor leaps off, and Tony runs at the harlequin foetus knight, sword dragging across the floor, and releases it into a deadly spiral of energy. The harlequin foetus knight is launched into the air, and Michelle leaps at it and kicks it at a wall. Amiee :3 makes pastry for Jakey and Eif as they play Strip Fire Emblem: Shadow Dragon. "so like" "yeah?" "what now" "well according to protocol, one of us has to get his/her powers now" "but i already have them" "play along you you not-very-cool guy" "TAKE THAT BACK" "okay yeah that was mean" "OKAY" Michelle runs around aimlessly and gets struck by a bolt of light. Light shoots from Michelle's right hand and obliterates the harlequin foetus knight. "wow nice job michelle" "yeah you're pretty cool" "you mean it?!" "no" "fuck"
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Jakeyadventure
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Number of posts : 7677
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PostSubject: Re: Teh Forum RPG [Reboot] [Remaster] VII   Sun Aug 21, 2016 11:46 pm

CHAPTOUR SEVEN:
"berrrrrrrrowwwwwwwwwwww OH NO WE'VE BEEN HIT NOOOOOOOOO" Jakey makes a large wave in the bathtub as the door opens and Sheriff Antony walks in. "DUDE WHAT THE FUCK YOU CAN'T JUST INTERRUPT BATHTIME" "i've got a warrant" Sheriff Antony hands Jakey his warrant as he urinates in the toilet. "fair enough" "so what's going on" "well uh the russians have sank the alabamanian ship with their torpedoes" Sheriff Antony zips back up and turns to Jakey. "unfortunately, the russians are about to be attacked by A GIANT SQUID" Sheriff Antony drops a giant squid toy onto the Russian ship. "OH NO COMRADE WE'VE BEEN BEING HIT BY SQUID" "BE TO FOR RELEASING DUCKY" Jakey pulls out a big rubber ducky, which valiantly attacks the giant squid. "OH NO COMRADE GIANT SQUID IS BEING CALLING IN BACKUP" Sheriff Antony grabs puts into the tub a RUBBER HARLEQUIN FOETUS KNIGHT
Sheriff Antony twirls his revolvers. "heh" Bran launches the harlequin foetus knight into the air, and Sheriff Antony shoots it with his revolvers. Taylor leaps into the air and impales the harlequin foetus knight. Taylor leaps off, and Tony runs at the harlequin foetus knight, sword dragging across the floor, and releases it into a deadly spiral of energy. The harlequin foetus knight is launched into the air, and Michelle leaps at it and kicks it at a wall. Amiee :3 makes pastry for Jakey and Eif as they play Strip U.S.S.R. Roulette. "so like" "yeah?" "what now" "well according to protocol, one of us has to get his/her powers now" "but i already have them" "play along you you not-very-cool guy" "TAKE THAT BACK" "okay yeah that was mean" "OKAY" Amiee :3 runs around aimlessly and gets struck by a bolt of pastry. Pastry shoots from Amiee :3's right hand and obliterates the harlequin foetus knight. "wow nice job amiee :3" "yeah you're pretty cool" "you mean it?!" "no" "fuck"
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Jakeyadventure
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Registration date : 2007-12-29

PostSubject: Re: Teh Forum RPG [Reboot] [Remaster] VII   Sun Aug 21, 2016 11:46 pm

CHAPTOUR EIGHT:
"arrrgh bogeys on the starboard bow cap'n" "that's port" "no, i'm pretty sure it's starboard" Bran and Jakey look through the owner's manual for their ship. "huh; it's actually stern" "i'll be damned" "oh no we've been boarded by the dread pirate captain frank" "oh no not the dread pirate captain frank" "just ignore him and maybe he'll go away" "good idea" Bran and Jakey stand stonefaced by the ship's wheel, while Taylor does the same in the crow's nest. Sheriff Antony is still asleep in the sheriff's cabin. "arrrgh give us your treasure or be cast to the briny deep" Jakey and Bran don't budge and inch. "h-hello?" No answer. "come on you can't just ignore me" They do. "FUCK YOU GUYS I'M GOING HOME" Dread Pirate Captain Frank runs off, crying, and takes his ship off to his home on Skull Peninsula. "we did it!!!" "jakey wins by doing absolutely nothing!!!" "roll your dice block already" "yeah i'm super-close to the star" Jakey rolls his die and lands on the Bowser space. "OH NO" "GWAHAHAHAHAHA IT'S TIME FOR BOWSER ROULETTE" The Bowser Roulette spins round and round, and eventually stops on the event for A HARLEQUIN FOETUS MINIGAME
Sheriff Antony twirls his revolvers. "heh" Bran launches the harlequin foetus knight into the air, and Sheriff Antony shoots it with his revolvers. Taylor leaps into the air and impales the harlequin foetus knight. Taylor leaps off, and Tony runs at the harlequin foetus knight, sword dragging across the floor, and releases it into a deadly spiral of energy. The harlequin foetus knight is launched into the air, and Michelle leaps at it and kicks it at a wall. Amiee :3 makes pastry for Jakey and Eif as they play Strip Burgertime 2: Revenge of the Lettuce. "so like" "yeah?" "what now" "well according to protocol, one of us has to get his/her powers now" "but i already have them" "play along you you not-very-cool guy" "TAKE THAT BACK" "okay yeah that was mean" "OKAY" Sheriff Antony runs around aimlessly and gets struck by a bolt of imagination. Imagination shoots from Sheriff Antony's left hand and obliterates the harlequin foetus knight. "wow nice job sheriff antony" "yeah you're pretty cool" "you mean it?!" "no" "fuck"
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Jakeyadventure
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Age : 23
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Registration date : 2007-12-29

PostSubject: Re: Teh Forum RPG [Reboot] [Remaster] VII   Sun Aug 21, 2016 11:46 pm

CHAPTOUR NINE:
"hello and welcome to olive garden; dining alone?" "no i'd like to rent a room please" "..." "..." "sir we uh we don't rent rooms" "what" "this is a restaurant" "yeah, exactly; it's a RESTaurant and i'm looking for a place to REST for the night" "hey now that you mention it that is weird; stay here a moment while i get the manager" "thank you" Bran waits patiently for Jakey to return with Manager Taylor. "so like i said boss this guy wants to rent a room to rest for the night" "but we-" "are a RESTaurant and REST is in the name" "oh you're right; come this way sir you can sleep in the employee lounge, and i'll call the construction company to build us a second storey with rooms" "thank you; you are most accomodating" "boss a second customer wants a room as well" "oh uh mistour bran are you comfortable sharing a room with A HARLEQUIN FOETUS KNIGHT"
Sheriff Antony twirls his revolvers. "heh" Bran launches the harlequin foetus knight into the air, and Sheriff Antony shoots it with his revolvers. Taylor leaps into the air and impales the harlequin foetus knight. Taylor leaps off, and Tony runs at the harlequin foetus knight, sword dragging across the floor, and releases it into a deadly spiral of energy. The harlequin foetus knight is launched into the air, and Michelle leaps at it and kicks it at a wall. Amiee :3 makes pastry for Jakey and Eif as they play Strip Mongolian Checkers. "so like" "yeah?" "what now" "well according to protocol, one of us has to get his/her powers now" "but i already have them" "play along you you not-very-cool guy" "TAKE THAT BACK" "okay yeah that was mean" "OKAY" Kathy runs around aimlessly and gets struck by a bolt of knives. Knives shoots from Kathy's right hand and obliterates the harlequin foetus knight. "wow nice job kathy" "yeah you're pretty cool" "you mean it?!" "no" "fuck"
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Jakeyadventure
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Age : 23
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Registration date : 2007-12-29

PostSubject: Re: Teh Forum RPG [Reboot] [Remaster] VII   Sun Aug 21, 2016 11:46 pm

CHAPTOUR TEN:
"okay i couldn't sell you on a little more baklavaaaaaaaaaaaa, but how about these LEGENDARY WEAPONS" "well uh" "they don't look so legendary to me" "but they were used to slay the horrible monster!!!" "what horrible monster" "you know that one that was terrorising that nation" "what nation" "uh zimbabwe" "what was the beast's name" "uh desean" "oh yeah, that guy" The five pay for their legendary swords and exit the factory, and are immediately eaten by a giant plant. "aw we didn't even have time to make snide comments" "and i had the best one lined up!!!" "really what was it" "nah the moment's passed" "come on tell me" "no" "please" "okay, it was 'that-'" "no you have to do the voice" "the... voice?" "you know the bran voice" "you mean... my voice?" "no i mean the 'oh look i am bran rargh'" "oh right; ahem: 'that is the third-largest plant i have ever seen'" "..." "..." "better than last time at least" "anyway now how do we get out of here" "taylor, use your grass powers!!!" "i have wind powers" "goddammit" "why are you so useless taylor" "hey i have an idea" "tell me the idea" "let's BURN the plant" "..." "..." "EIF THIS IS NO TIME FOR YOUR SHITTY JOKES" "HEY MY JOKES ARE GREAT" "0/10" "FUCK" "guys let's ICE the plant" "great idea bran!!!" "but guys fire-" "eif stop being mad just because your power is shitty and not very effective against grass" Bran blasts the planet with ice, freeing the five. "it sure is cold here in the vacuum of space" "i've been colder" Suddenly, someone changes the bag. "oh no i did not see this coming" The five are emptied into a trash can, where they find A HARLEQUIN FOETUS KNIGHT
Sheriff Antony twirls his revolvers. "heh" Bran launches the harlequin foetus knight into the air, and Sheriff Antony shoots it with his revolvers. Taylor leaps into the air and impales the harlequin foetus knight. Taylor leaps off, and Tony runs at the harlequin foetus knight, sword dragging across the floor, and releases it into a deadly spiral of energy. The harlequin foetus knight is launched into the air, and Michelle leaps at it and kicks it at a wall. Amiee :3 makes pastry for Jakey and Eif as they play Strip Monopoly: Zimbabwe Edition. "so like" "yeah?" "what now" "well according to protocol, one of us has to get his/her powers now" "but i already have them" "play along you you not-very-cool guy" "TAKE THAT BACK" "okay yeah that was mean" "OKAY" Mr. Sock runs around aimlessly and gets struck by a bolt of sandals. Sandals shoots from Mr. Sock's right hand and obliterates the harlequin foetus knight. "wow nice job mr sock" "yeah you're pretty cool" "you mean it?!" "no" "fuck"
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PostSubject: Re: Teh Forum RPG [Reboot] [Remaster] VII   Sun Aug 21, 2016 11:46 pm

CHAPTOUR ELEVEN:
"man my feet are so cold and unstylish" "just like the rest of you" Bendik slaps Orange across the face. "i deserved that" "SOUNDS LIKE YOU'RE IN A PREDICAMENT" A sock puppet sits behind a little stall. "FOR JUST $19.95 YOU TOO CAN HAVE WARM-ISH AND STYLEFUL FEET WITH THE POWER OF" Mr. Sock makes sandals rain from the sky. "SANDALS" "can't i just have these-" Mr. Sock bites Bendik's hand. "NO $19.95 OR GET OUT" "i hope having too many of these mystical artefacts doesn't cause cancer" Bendik hands Mr. Sock the money and receives a compact disc. "here we go again" Bendik inserts the disc into his laptop, but it is infected with A HARLEQUIN FOETUS TROJAN
Sheriff Antony twirls his revolvers. "heh" Bran launches the harlequin foetus knight into the air, and Sheriff Antony shoots it with his revolvers. Taylor leaps into the air and impales the harlequin foetus knight. Taylor leaps off, and Tony runs at the harlequin foetus knight, sword dragging across the floor, and releases it into a deadly spiral of energy. The harlequin foetus knight is launched into the air, and Michelle leaps at it and kicks it at a wall. Amiee :3 makes pastry for Jakey and Eif as they play Strip Maths Blaster. "So Like" "yeah?" "What Now" "well according to protocol, one of us has to get his/her powers now" "But I Already Have Them" "play along you you not-very-cool guy" "Take That Back" "okay yeah that was mean" "Okay" Robert Truckdriver runs around aimlessly and gets struck by a bolt of Damage Inc.. Damage Inc. shoots from Robert Truckdriver's right hand and obliterates the harlequin foetus knight. "wow nice job robert truckdriver" "yeah you're pretty cool" "You Mean It?!" "no" "fuck"
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PostSubject: Re: Teh Forum RPG [Reboot] [Remaster] VII   Sun Aug 21, 2016 11:46 pm

CHAPTOUR TWELVE:
"hey look it's our ball!!!" Tony grabs the ball. "okay we got what we came for let's go home!!!" "okay" "sounds good" The five go home.
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Jakeyadventure
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Number of posts : 7677
Age : 23
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Registration date : 2007-12-29

PostSubject: Re: Teh Forum RPG [Reboot] [Remaster] VII   Sun Aug 21, 2016 11:46 pm

CHAPTOUR THIRTEEN:
"mother i have returned" "who are you" "your son, tony" "i don't have a son" "but wait that means..." Tony fades from existence. "..." "..." "how did" "lo all" Stevman teleports in on his time machine, does a kneeslide, and plays a powerchord. "THAT'S OUR STEVMAN" Michelle walks up to the group and rests her arms on their shoulders. "take me home"
THE END
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