ADVENTURE
HEY MISTER CAN WE HAVE OUR BALL BACK

ADVENTURE

HEY MISTER CAN WE HAVE OUR BALL BACK
 
HomeHome  PortalPortal  GalleryGallery  CalendarCalendar  FAQFAQ  SearchSearch  RegisterRegister  MemberlistMemberlist  UsergroupsUsergroups  Log in  GeraldineGeraldine  WikiWiki  Holiday GuideHoliday Guide  National AnthemNational Anthem  RulesRules  

Share | 
 

 Teh Forum RPG [Reboot] XV

View previous topic View next topic Go down 
AuthorMessage
Jakeyadventure
apple computers


Male
Number of posts : 7685
Age : 23
Favourite Band : Nirvana
Registration date : 2007-12-29

PostSubject: Teh Forum RPG [Reboot] XV   Fri Jun 24, 2016 2:12 pm

CHAPTOUR ONE:
The phone rings. Ainsley Harriott exits the back room, towelling off his scalp, and answers the phone. "sorry, not open for business yet" Ainsley Harriott hangs up his phone. "i haven't even given this place a name yet, and already i'm getting calls" Ainsley Harriott grabs a slice of pizza and grins in a manner that would frighten a small child. Ainsley Harriott takes a bite of pizza and walks over to the kitchen. "stu i didn't know you were coming over" "I'M NOT STU WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA" "AUGH" Ainsley Harriott wakes up with a start and looks over to his half-finished pizza. "never again" Ainsley Harriott finishes his pizza before going to bed like a good boy. "ainsley harriott i am cold" "oh let me turn the heat up margaret harriott" Ainsley Harriott exits the covers and heads to the thermostat. He tries to turn the dial, but it remains locked in place. "so it's going to be like THAT is it" Ainsley steels himself for the coming struggle, but before he can kick off the struggle, he hears a noise coming from his fax machine. Ainsley Harriott spins 180 and grabs his fax. "dear ainsley harriott we have shut off your heat due to unpaid heating bills love the heating company xoxoxo" Ainsley Harriott clenches his fists, crumpling the notice in his hands. He turns to his wife, shivering in bed, and decides to take action. Ainsley Harriott kisses his wife goodbye, and puts on his adventuring vest, exiting his house. That is when he bumps into A HARLEQUIN FOETUS KNIGHT
Sheriff Antony twirls his revolvers. "heh" Bran launches the harlequin foetus knight into the air, and Sheriff Antony shoots it with his revolvers. Taylor leaps into the air and impales the harlequin foetus knight. Taylor leaps off, and Tony runs at the harlequin foetus knight, sword dragging across the floor, and releases it into a deadly spiral of energy. The harlequin foetus knight is launched into the air, and Michelle leaps at it and kicks it at a wall. Amiee :3 makes pastry for Jakey and Eif as they play Strip Tonka Garage. "so like" "yeah?" "what now" "well according to protocol, one of us has to get his/her powers now" "but i already have them" "play along you you not-very-cool guy" "TAKE THAT BACK" "okay yeah that was mean" "OKAY" Jakey runs around aimlessly and gets struck by a bolt of electricity. Electricity shoots from Jakey's left hand and obliterates the harlequin foetus knight. "wow nice job jakey" "yeah you're pretty cool" "you mean it?!" "no" "fuck"
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://www.last.fm/user/Teh_Jakester/
Jakeyadventure
apple computers


Male
Number of posts : 7685
Age : 23
Favourite Band : Nirvana
Registration date : 2007-12-29

PostSubject: Re: Teh Forum RPG [Reboot] XV   Fri Jun 24, 2016 2:12 pm

CHAPTOUR TWO:
"HALT" "oh hey obnoxious celtic guardian what's up" "this is a no-adventuring zone, as decreed by the obnoxious celtic council of which i am an obnoxious celtic servant" "oh not this shit again" "the obnoxious celtic law clearly states that no adventures may be undertaken in this zone unless the party or parties that wish to adventure pass three obnoxious celtic trials" "yeah yeah whatever" Ainsley Harriott calls his adventure buddies on his adventurephone. "yo dogs we've got an adventure to undertake" "finally" "it's been three thousand years" "sorry guys i can't adventure today my mummy's sick" "dude lame" "way to bail out on us when we need you adam lambert" "soz" "okay team let's each tackle an obnoxious celtic trial in our local area then meet up by the obnoxious celtic checkpoint" "sounds good" Ainsley Harriott heads northeast toward the Mountain Dew Bottling Plant. "ALARM ALARM EVERYONE RUN FOR YOUR LIVES OBNOXIOUS CELTIC BANDITS HAVE ATTACKED THE PLANT" Ainsley Harriott walks right past Jonathan Alarm, who shoots him a nasty glare. Ainsley Harriott throws open the double doors to stare down the Obxious Celtic Bandit Leader. "TELL ME WHY; WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN US" "sir i've told you before the plant has nothing to do with it; the head office in bostonshire deals with the flavours we do and don't sell" "YOU WILL DIE FOR YOUR LIES, HEATHEN" The Obnoxious Celtic Bandit Leader moves to behead the worker, but his axes are blocked by Ainsley Harriott's sword. "not this time" Ainsley Harriott kicks the Obnoxious Celtic Bandit Leader into a vat of Mountain Dew Voltage. "OH GOD BLECH BLECH THIS SHIT IS TERRIBLE I AM LITERALLY THROWING UP RIGHT NOW" Ainsley Harriott unleashes a blast of electricity from his left hand into the Mountain Dew Voltage, which courses through the Obnoxious Celtic Bandit Leader's body, killing him. "EVERYTHING personnel kid" Ainsley Harriott cracks open a fresh bottle of Mountain Dew Voltage, taking in its sweet scent. "those who cannot appreciate the beautiful flavours of mountain dew voltage don't deserve to live" Ainsley Harriott turns his back on the factory and leaves, a hero to the workers. Ainsley Harriott takes a large gulp of Mountain Dew Voltage into his body, giving him the energy he needs to face the rest of the day. The remaining Obnoxious Celtic Bandits scatter, giving up their life of crime for fear of meeting the same fate as their leader. One such Obnoxious Celtic Bandit settles down and buys a farmhouse, where he lives with his children and his beautiful HARLEQUIN FOETUS WIFE
Sheriff Antony twirls his revolvers. "heh" Bran launches the harlequin foetus knight into the air, and Sheriff Antony shoots it with his revolvers. Taylor leaps into the air and impales the harlequin foetus knight. Taylor leaps off, and Tony runs at the harlequin foetus knight, sword dragging across the floor, and releases it into a deadly spiral of energy. The harlequin foetus knight is launched into the air, and Michelle leaps at it and kicks it at a wall. Amiee :3 makes pastry for Jakey and Eif as they play Strip Wii Party. "so like" "yeah?" "what now" "well according to protocol, one of us has to get his/her powers now" "but i already have them" "play along you you not-very-cool guy" "TAKE THAT BACK" "okay yeah that was mean" "OKAY" Bran runs around aimlessly and gets struck by a bolt of ice. Ice shoots from Bran's left hand and obliterates the harlequin foetus knight. "wow nice job bran" "yeah you're pretty cool" "you mean it?!" "no" "fuck"
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://www.last.fm/user/Teh_Jakester/
Jakeyadventure
apple computers


Male
Number of posts : 7685
Age : 23
Favourite Band : Nirvana
Registration date : 2007-12-29

PostSubject: Re: Teh Forum RPG [Reboot] XV   Fri Jun 24, 2016 2:13 pm

CHAPTOUR THREE:
"okay team let's each tackle an obnoxious celtic trial in our local area then meet up by the obnoxious celtic checkpoint" "sounds good" Stu grabs his adventuring gear, when he is approached by his wife. "stu what are you doing" "going out on an ADVENTURE" "but what about our baby!!!" "sorry wife but some things are more important" "oh okay carry on then" Stu exits his house and heads deep into the suburban wilderness. "hello there adventurer" "oh hey what's up" "would you like to compete in challenging arena battles for FAME and FORTUNE" "fame AND fortune?! i'd be happy with just one" "okay" "wait wait no i mean" "the contract is sealed" "FUCK" "from this day forth, you shall be known as IRON JEFF" "but my name is stu-" "no your name is iron jeff now fuck off and meet the other gladiators" "o-okay" Iron Jeff walks into the arena's dugout. "h-hey guys i'm st-i mean iron jeff" "hello iron jeff i am also called iron jeff" "as am i" "and me" "in fact we are all called iron jeff" "oh hello iron jeffs" "ALL RIGHT YOU IRON JEFFS IT'S TIME FOR YOUR FINAL, MOST DIFFICULT TRIAL YET" "oh boy i've been here for six years and i really should get back home from the store with these cigarettes" "NOW YOU WILL ALL FACE THE DISEMBOWELER" "uh excuse me sir uh i just became an iron jeff and uh-" "oh don't worry it's just a name" "yeah he really goes for more of an evisceration than a disembowelment" "oh phew i was worried for a minute there" "IRON JEFFS MOVE OUT" The squad of Iron Jeffs moves out into the arena, where they face their most powerful opponent yet, The Disemboweler. "CHARGE" The Iron Jeffs charge toward The Disemboweler, and are systematically eviscerated one by one until only three are left. "all right we need a plan to defeat this the disemboweler, as charging in like lemmings isn't exactly working out too well" "luckily, the disemboweler has a weak point" Iron Jeff pulls out a schematic of The Disemboweler. "uh why didn't you show us that BEFORE 75% of our forces were wiped out" "shrug" Iron Jeff points to a large red button on the chest of The Disemboweler. "if we press this big red button, the disemboweler should shut down" "man how were we supposed to figure that out on our own" "i have no clue" "so who will go up and risk evisceration to press the button" "i nominate iron jeff" "seconded" "i-oh" Iron Jeff hangs his head in disappointment. "at least promise me you will deliver these cigarettes to my family for me" "will do iron jeff" "all right" Iron Jeff charges into the fray, leaping headfirst at the big red button. On his approach, The DIsemboweler eviscerates him. "must... press... button... for the iron... jeff... cause..." Iron Jeff, with his final breath, thrusts his mighty index finger into the big red button, shutting down The Disemboweler until the next Annual Iron Jeff Arena Battle. "THE IRON JEFFS HAVE DEFEATED THE DISEMBOWELER" "yay" "hooray" "you're both free to go" "aw yeah" The Iron Jeffs exit the arena, triumphant, and retake their place as two of the heroes of this story, Stu and Gilbert Gottfried. The two nod their heads in agreement, and make a tribute plaque to the Iron Jeff Brigade. The ten Iron Jeffs who gave their lives to defeat The Disemboweler are honoured on this plaque; their names forever inscribed for all eternity: Iron Jeff, Iron Jeff, Iron Jeff, Iron Jeff, Iron Jeff, Jack Black, Iron Jeff, Iron Jeff, [MLG] xXIron Jeff420Xx, and A HARLEQUIN FOETUS KNIGHT
Sheriff Antony twirls his revolvers. "heh" Bran launches the harlequin foetus knight into the air, and Sheriff Antony shoots it with his revolvers. Taylor leaps into the air and impales the harlequin foetus knight. Taylor leaps off, and Tony runs at the harlequin foetus knight, sword dragging across the floor, and releases it into a deadly spiral of energy. The harlequin foetus knight is launched into the air, and Michelle leaps at it and kicks it at a wall. Amiee :3 makes pastry for Jakey and Eif as they play Strip Brain Age: Train Your Brain in Minutes a Day!. "so like" "yeah?" "what now" "well according to protocol, one of us has to get his/her powers now" "but i already have them" "play along you you not-very-cool guy" "TAKE THAT BACK" "okay yeah that was mean" "OKAY" Taylor runs around aimlessly and gets struck by a bolt of wind. Wind shoots from Taylor's left hand and obliterates the harlequin foetus knight. "wow nice job taylor" "yeah you're pretty cool" "you mean it?!" "no" "fuck"
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://www.last.fm/user/Teh_Jakester/
Jakeyadventure
apple computers


Male
Number of posts : 7685
Age : 23
Favourite Band : Nirvana
Registration date : 2007-12-29

PostSubject: Re: Teh Forum RPG [Reboot] XV   Fri Jun 24, 2016 2:13 pm

CHAPTOUR FOUR:
"okay team let's each tackle an obnoxious celtic trial in our local area then meet up by the obnoxious celtic checkpoint" "sounds good" Jack White knows immediately what his Obnoxious Celtic Trial must be. He has already prepared day and night for this journey; the most important of his life. Jack White grabs his gear and heads for the top of Mt. Dew. "oh wise mountain dewde hear me in my hour of need" Jack White places empty cans of all varieties of Mountain Dew on the altar, to prove his dedication to doing the Dew. Mountain Dewde appears in a flash of light. "my child, what is it you desire" "the return of your finest creation, mountain dew pitch black" "the world was not ready for such a drink; they did not and still cannot appreciate it" "b-but i can appreciate it my lord" Mountain Dewde shakes His head. "i am sorry my child; there will be a second coming of pitch black, but not today" Mountain Dewde disappears, leaving behind a single bottle. Jack White, about to erupt into single tears, quickly grabs the bottle. "m-mountain dew pitch black?!" Jack White holds the bottle to his chest, many warm single tears streaming their way down his cheeks. Jack White quickly wraps the bottle in as many layers as he can, trying to disguise its scent from those who might wish to take it. Jack White exits the temple and is spotted by another on his way to summon Mountain Dewde. The other spots the warm, wet streaks on Jack White's cheeks and realises what may have happened. Not willing to let this chance go, the other leaps and attacks Jack White, who now must contend with A HARLEQUIN FOETUS KNIGHT
Sheriff Antony twirls his revolvers. "heh" Bran launches the harlequin foetus knight into the air, and Sheriff Antony shoots it with his revolvers. Taylor leaps into the air and impales the harlequin foetus knight. Taylor leaps off, and Tony runs at the harlequin foetus knight, sword dragging across the floor, and releases it into a deadly spiral of energy. The harlequin foetus knight is launched into the air, and Michelle leaps at it and kicks it at a wall. Amiee :3 makes pastry for Jakey and Eif as they play Strip Virtua Fighter 5: Final Showdown. "so like" "yeah?" "what now" "well according to protocol, one of us has to get his/her powers now" "but i already have them" "play along you you not-very-cool guy" "TAKE THAT BACK" "okay yeah that was mean" "OKAY" Eif runs around aimlessly and gets struck by a bolt of fire. Fire shoots from Eif's left hand and obliterates the harlequin foetus knight. "wow nice job eif" "yeah you're pretty cool" "you mean it?!" "no" "fuck"
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://www.last.fm/user/Teh_Jakester/
Jakeyadventure
apple computers


Male
Number of posts : 7685
Age : 23
Favourite Band : Nirvana
Registration date : 2007-12-29

PostSubject: Re: Teh Forum RPG [Reboot] XV   Fri Jun 24, 2016 2:13 pm

CHAPTOUR FIVE:
"we have completed the obnoxious celtic trials" "oh good" Obnoxious Celtic Guardian looks from side to side. "uh can i hang out with you guys for a while" "any time old friend" With the party fully assembled, they decide to head to Obnoxious Celtic Guardian's Onoxious Celtic House for an Obnoxious Celtic Snack. "so where the snacks at yo" "are they in here" "no don't open tha-" Jack White opens the door, causing thousands of cats to erupt from the closet. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" "dude why do you have all these cats" "obnoxious celtic cats" "right why are there so many" Obnoxious Celtic Guardian gives Jack White an Obnoxious Celtic Shrug. "help please" Stu, surrounded by Obnoxious Celtic Cats, swells up to the size of an Obnoxious Celtic Minivan. "oh shit stu's allergic to obnoxious celtic cats" "not regular cats though which is strange" Gilbert Gottfried and Ainsley Harriott roll Stu out of the house to recover, while Obnoxious Celtic Guardian and Jack White raid the Obnoxious Celtic Fridge. "what in the world-" Jack White grabs a bottle of Obnoxious Celtic Dew Pitch Black. "c-could it be" Jack White quickly unscrews the cap of the bottle and begins to excitedly chug its contents. "IT IS" Many single tears of joy stream down Jack White's face as he looks into the Obnoxious Celtic Fridge and sees many more bottles of Obnoxious Celtic Dew Pitch Black. Jack White grabs as many bottles as he can carry and rushes outside to his friends. "GUYS YOU'LL NEVER BELIEVE WHAT OBNOXIOUS CELTIC GUARDIAN HAS IN HIS FRIDGE" Jack White hands a bottle of Obnoxious Celtic Dew to each and every one of his friends. "oh man i haven't had one of these in years" Stu and Gilbert Gottfried twist off the cap and begin to chug a soft drink they haven't tasted in many a moon. Ainsley Harriott, however, is less than impressed. "i can't believe you would willingly drink that swill" The area goes dead silent. "what the FUCK did you just say" "you heard me; pitch black is SWILL compared to mountain dew voltage" Rage wells up inside of Jack White, who pounces on Ainsley Harriott. "YOU TAKE THAT BACK THIS INSTANT YOU ABSOLUTE FUCKING FUCK" "i refuse to take back the truth" Jack White pounds his fist repeatedly into Ainsley Harriott's face. "is that all you've got" Ainsley Harriott slips out from under Jack White and delivers a powerful kick to Jack White's head. "you fight like A HARLEQUIN FOETUS KNIGHT"
 Sheriff Antony twirls his revolvers. "heh" Bran launches the harlequin foetus knight into the air, and Sheriff Antony shoots it with his revolvers. Taylor leaps into the air and impales the harlequin foetus knight. Taylor leaps off, and Tony runs at the harlequin foetus knight, sword dragging across the floor, and releases it into a deadly spiral of energy. The harlequin foetus knight is launched into the air, and Michelle leaps at it and kicks it at a wall. Amiee :3 makes pastry for Jakey and Eif as they play Strip Foosball. "so like" "yeah?" "what now" "well according to protocol, one of us has to get his/her powers now" "but i already have them" "play along you you not-very-cool guy" "TAKE THAT BACK" "okay yeah that was mean" "OKAY" Tony runs around aimlessly and gets struck by a bolt of earth. Earth shoots from Tony's left hand and obliterates the harlequin foetus knight. "wow nice job tony" "yeah you're pretty cool" "you mean it?!" "no" "fuck"
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://www.last.fm/user/Teh_Jakester/
Jakeyadventure
apple computers


Male
Number of posts : 7685
Age : 23
Favourite Band : Nirvana
Registration date : 2007-12-29

PostSubject: Re: Teh Forum RPG [Reboot] XV   Fri Jun 24, 2016 2:13 pm

CHAPTOUR SIX:
"i got here as fast as i could jack white" "ah adam lambert this is good we needed you to fight this war" "uh dude isn't your mother sick" "NOTHING IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN DEFENDING THE HONOUR OF MOUNTAIN DEW PITCH BLACK" "s-sorry" "it's okay we all make mistakes" Jack White peers across the way at Ainsley Harriott's fort. "it looks like he has four friends of his own who presumably have elemental powers like we do" On the side of Mountain Dew Pitch Black, Jack White, Stu, Obnoxious Celtic Guardian, Gilbert Gottfried, and Adam Lambert stand ready to defend the dark. On the side of Mountain Dew Voltage, Ainsley Harriott, Jack Black, Jaleel White, Kris Allen, and Adam Sandler are prepared to ride the lightning for their soft drink. "now, who will fire the first shot" "on it" "wa-" Stu fires a sniper bullet straight into the chest of Jaleel White. "damn missed his heart by an inch" "THE ENEMY HAS OPENED FIRE" "COMMENCE BOMBARDMENT" The mortars fire at the Pitch Black fort. "AND GET JALEEL WHITE A MEDIC" Adam Sandler grabs his tweezers and attempts to remove the bullet from Jaleel White's chest. "SIR WE'RE BEING FIRED UPON" "I CAN SEE THAT" Jack White is dropped to the floor by the shockwave from a mortar blast. "PREPARE THE NUCLEAR MISSILE" Gilbert Gottfried and Obnoxious Celtic Guardian stand on opposite sides of the room with their keys, and turn them, launching the missile. It is intercepted by the other fort's laser turrets. "DAMN THEY'VE GOT TOO MUCH TECHNOLOGY" "should i send out the ufos" "YES THROW EVERYTHING WE'VE GOT THAT THEM" Adam Lambert runs over to the cages and unleashes the HARLEQUIN FOETUS KNIGHTS
Sheriff Antony twirls his revolvers. "heh" Bran launches the harlequin foetus knight into the air, and Sheriff Antony shoots it with his revolvers. Taylor leaps into the air and impales the harlequin foetus knight. Taylor leaps off, and Tony runs at the harlequin foetus knight, sword dragging across the floor, and releases it into a deadly spiral of energy. The harlequin foetus knight is launched into the air, and Michelle leaps at it and kicks it at a wall. Amiee :3 makes pastry for Jakey and Eif as they play Strip NFL GameDay 2003. "so like" "yeah?" "what now" "well according to protocol, one of us has to get his/her powers now" "but i already have them" "play along you you not-very-cool guy" "TAKE THAT BACK" "okay yeah that was mean" "OKAY" Michelle runs around aimlessly and gets struck by a bolt of light. Light shoots from Michelle's right hand and obliterates the harlequin foetus knight. "wow nice job michelle" "yeah you're pretty cool" "you mean it?!" "no" "fuck"
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://www.last.fm/user/Teh_Jakester/
Jakeyadventure
apple computers


Male
Number of posts : 7685
Age : 23
Favourite Band : Nirvana
Registration date : 2007-12-29

PostSubject: Re: Teh Forum RPG [Reboot] XV   Fri Jun 24, 2016 2:13 pm

CHAPTOUR SEVEN:
"men we have a new objective: tunnel underneath the earth and launch a sneak attack on the enemy fortress from below" "they'll never expect this" The Pitch Black Army grab their drills and shovels and begin to dig for all they're worth. "men we have a new objective: tunnel underneath the earth and launch a sneak attack on the enemy fortress from below" "they'll never expect this" The Voltage Army grab their drills and shovels and begin to dig for all they're worth. Soon, the Pitch Black Army arrives in the Voltage base. "they don't seem to be in" "PLANT THE CHARGES" Stu quickly wires an explosive device to the minifridge, then the Pitch Black Army runs away before it detonates, destroying the Voltage Army's supply of Mountain Dew Voltage. The Pitch Black Army then returns home to have their hearts broken. "THOSE FUCKERS THEY JUST DID THE EXACT SAME THING WE DID" "I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY'D STOOP SO LOW; MOUNTAIN DEW PITCH BLACK IS AN ENDANGERED SPECIES" Jack White pounds on the wall, many single tears of rage and fury streaming down his pale face. "this means war" "uh sir we're already at war" "GOOD" Jack White storms back to his quarters to devise a new plan with his advisor, A HARLEQUIN FOETUS KNIGHT
Sheriff Antony twirls his revolvers. "heh" Bran launches the harlequin foetus knight into the air, and Sheriff Antony shoots it with his revolvers. Taylor leaps into the air and impales the harlequin foetus knight. Taylor leaps off, and Tony runs at the harlequin foetus knight, sword dragging across the floor, and releases it into a deadly spiral of energy. The harlequin foetus knight is launched into the air, and Michelle leaps at it and kicks it at a wall. Amiee :3 makes pastry for Jakey and Eif as they play Strip Japanese Roulette. "so like" "yeah?" "what now" "well according to protocol, one of us has to get his/her powers now" "but i already have them" "play along you you not-very-cool guy" "TAKE THAT BACK" "okay yeah that was mean" "OKAY" Amiee :3 runs around aimlessly and gets struck by a bolt of pastry. Pastry shoots from Amiee :3's right hand and obliterates the harlequin foetus knight. "wow nice job amiee :3" "yeah you're pretty cool" "you mean it?!" "no" "fuck"
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://www.last.fm/user/Teh_Jakester/
Jakeyadventure
apple computers


Male
Number of posts : 7685
Age : 23
Favourite Band : Nirvana
Registration date : 2007-12-29

PostSubject: Re: Teh Forum RPG [Reboot] XV   Fri Jun 24, 2016 2:13 pm

CHAPTOUR EIGHT:
"we are gathered here today to mourn the loss of the 144 bottles of mountain dew pitch black that valiantly gave their lives in this war" "they died so young" "the explosion did not leave any remains to bury, but we have prepared a tombstone, and we will pour this 40oz liquor out onto the curb in fond remembrance of the departed" An explosion is heard, and chunks of the beautifully-carved tombstone fly in all directions. "you would DARE to attack a funeral?! HAVE YOU NO SHAME" Jack White pounces on Ainsley Harriott, infused with the strength of 144 men. Jack White punches and punches and punches until Ainsley Harriott's face is unrecognisable. "mmm good work; shame that was just a decoy" "wha-" Jack White is felled by a blade striking out from behind, before any of his friends could react. "JACK WHITE NO" "let this serve as a warning to all who worship that false god" "YOU ABSOLUTE FUCK" Stu leaps onto Ainsley Harriott, surprising him for just a moment, but a moment is all Stu needed. Stu plunges his knife deep into Ainsley Harriott's chest, sending both of them off the cliff edge. "STU" Adam Lambert, Gilbert Gottfried, and Obnoxious Celtic Guardian rush to the edge to see Ainsley Harriott falling to his death, and Stu desperately clinging onto a branch. "GRAB MY HAND" Gilbert Gottfried reaches down as far as he can, and Stu grabs his hand just before the branch is torn out of the cliffside. Gilbert Gottfried pulls Stu up onto the ledge. "thanks, gilbert gottfried" "don't mention it" "uh guys new problem" Adam Lambert points at a stampede of HARLEQUIN FOETUS KNIGHTS
Sheriff Antony twirls his revolvers. "heh" Bran launches the harlequin foetus knight into the air, and Sheriff Antony shoots it with his revolvers. Taylor leaps into the air and impales the harlequin foetus knight. Taylor leaps off, and Tony runs at the harlequin foetus knight, sword dragging across the floor, and releases it into a deadly spiral of energy. The harlequin foetus knight is launched into the air, and Michelle leaps at it and kicks it at a wall. Amiee :3 makes pastry for Jakey and Eif as they play Strip Prince of Persia: Warrior Within. "so like" "yeah?" "what now" "well according to protocol, one of us has to get his/her powers now" "but i already have them" "play along you you not-very-cool guy" "TAKE THAT BACK" "okay yeah that was mean" "OKAY" Sheriff Antony runs around aimlessly and gets struck by a bolt of imagination. Imagination shoots from Sheriff Antony's left hand and obliterates the harlequin foetus knight. "wow nice job sheriff antony" "yeah you're pretty cool" "you mean it?!" "no" "fuck"
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://www.last.fm/user/Teh_Jakester/
Jakeyadventure
apple computers


Male
Number of posts : 7685
Age : 23
Favourite Band : Nirvana
Registration date : 2007-12-29

PostSubject: Re: Teh Forum RPG [Reboot] XV   Fri Jun 24, 2016 2:13 pm

CHAPTOUR NINE:
"we are gathered here today to mourn the loss of our fearless leader, jack white, who gave his life for our cause" "he was truly the best of us" "we have delivered the final vengeance of our dear leader, and are ready to turn the page on a fresh chaptour of our adventuresquad" Stu sweeps his hand across a line of severed heads. "though we are down to four, we will find another fifth member and carry on anew" "amen" "amen" "amen" "let's go" Stu, Gilbert Gottfried, Adam Lambert, and Obnoxious Celtic Guardian begin the interview process for the fifth member of their adventuresquad. With Jack White's valuable ice powers missing, they know this mission is of vital importance. The first to be interviewed is A HARLEQUIN FOETUS KNIGHT
Sheriff Antony twirls his revolvers. "heh" Bran launches the harlequin foetus knight into the air, and Sheriff Antony shoots it with his revolvers. Taylor leaps into the air and impales the harlequin foetus knight. Taylor leaps off, and Tony runs at the harlequin foetus knight, sword dragging across the floor, and releases it into a deadly spiral of energy. The harlequin foetus knight is launched into the air, and Michelle leaps at it and kicks it at a wall. Amiee :3 makes pastry for Jakey and Eif as they play Strip Mario Party 10. "so like" "yeah?" "what now" "well according to protocol, one of us has to get his/her powers now" "but i already have them" "play along you you not-very-cool guy" "TAKE THAT BACK" "okay yeah that was mean" "OKAY" Kathy runs around aimlessly and gets struck by a bolt of knives. Knives shoots from Kathy's right hand and obliterates the harlequin foetus knight. "wow nice job kathy" "yeah you're pretty cool" "you mean it?!" "no" "fuck"
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://www.last.fm/user/Teh_Jakester/
Jakeyadventure
apple computers


Male
Number of posts : 7685
Age : 23
Favourite Band : Nirvana
Registration date : 2007-12-29

PostSubject: Re: Teh Forum RPG [Reboot] XV   Fri Jun 24, 2016 2:14 pm

CHAPTOUR TEN:
"hey look a factory i wonder if they have any legendary weapons" "but my shelves are full of legendary weapons" "i barely have room for my mountain dew pitch black collector's plates" "and my mountain dew voltage collector's plates" "FOR THE LAST GODDAMN TIME YOUR GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKING VOLTAGE COLLECTOR'S PLATES ARE FUCKING WORTHLESS LIKE THE FUCKING SWILL PICTURED ON THEM" "TAKE THAT BACK" "NEVER" "anyway it's time to wander aimlessly" "oh, so business as usual then?" The eight run straight into a giant plant. "woah deja vu" "taylor use your grass powers!!!" "i have wind powers" "oh right but surely amiee :3 has grass powers" "no because you guys said i should have pastry powe-" "THAT IS NO EXCUSE FOR YOUR LACK OF FORESIGHT" The giant plant devours the seven intrepid adventurers, as well as Jakey. "welp" "guys i have an idea" "if it involves using fire, eifion, i swear to fucking god" "um... no..." Eif sweeps aside a flamethrower with his foot. "guys i have an idea" "i'm listening" "fucking ICE" "brilliant; run with it" "okay" Bran runs to the other end of the plant, ice cube in hand. "..." "..." "that is not what i had in mind" "but i can only ascertain what you have in mouth" "..." "..." "fair enough" Bran blasts his way out of the giant planet. "uranus isn't that big" "compared to the rest of the cold vaccuum of space, it's actually pretty small" Suddenly, someone changes the bag! "oh i get it; vacuum as in vacuum cleaner" "it is a pun" "a shit pun" "TAKE THAT BACK YOU YOU YOU NOT THAT COOL GUY" "TAKE THAT BACK" "NOT UNTIL YOU TAKE BACK WHAT YOU SAID THREE LINES AGO" "NEVER" "well then it seems we are at an impasse" "nothing that can't be resolved by A HARLEQUIN FOETUS KNIGHT"
Sheriff Antony twirls his revolvers. "heh" Bran launches the harlequin foetus knight into the air, and Sheriff Antony shoots it with his revolvers. Taylor leaps into the air and impales the harlequin foetus knight. Taylor leaps off, and Tony runs at the harlequin foetus knight, sword dragging across the floor, and releases it into a deadly spiral of energy. The harlequin foetus knight is launched into the air, and Michelle leaps at it and kicks it at a wall. Amiee :3 makes pastry for Jakey and Eif as they play Strip Burger Time. "so like" "yeah?" "what now" "well according to protocol, one of us has to get his/her powers now" "but i already have them" "play along you you not-very-cool guy" "TAKE THAT BACK" "okay yeah that was mean" "OKAY" Mr. Sock runs around aimlessly and gets struck by a bolt of sandals. Sandals shoots from Mr. Sock's right hand and obliterates the harlequin foetus knight. "wow nice job mr sock" "yeah you're pretty cool" "you mean it?!" "no" "fuck"
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://www.last.fm/user/Teh_Jakester/
Jakeyadventure
apple computers


Male
Number of posts : 7685
Age : 23
Favourite Band : Nirvana
Registration date : 2007-12-29

PostSubject: Re: Teh Forum RPG [Reboot] XV   Fri Jun 24, 2016 2:14 pm

CHAPTOUR ELEVEN:
"oh look it's JOHNNY DEPP" "oh fuck i love johnny depp" "johnny depp is great!!!" "well johnny depp is pretty good" "johnny depp is just okay" "that might be going a bit far" "we'll have to do a peer study to determine the overall quality of johnny depp" "that is a good idea"
"after years of research, we have determined that the overall quality of johnny depp is 'pretty good'" "nice" "twenty million dollars well-spent"
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://www.last.fm/user/Teh_Jakester/
Jakeyadventure
apple computers


Male
Number of posts : 7685
Age : 23
Favourite Band : Nirvana
Registration date : 2007-12-29

PostSubject: Re: Teh Forum RPG [Reboot] XV   Fri Jun 24, 2016 2:14 pm

CHAPTOUR TWELVE:
"yo bran i've got four tickets to tonight's queen + carly rae jepsen show; how about we both round up a lady each and make it a double-date" "sounds like a plan"  Jakey and Bran both round up their dates and head for the concert grounds. "here are our tickets my good man" Jakey stuffs the four tickets into the pocket of a manequin wearing a suit, and he, Gwendolyn, Bran, and Grace head in to see the show. "not much of a turnout tonight" "ahahaha i, PATRICK, have trapped you all h-wait where are the other two and who are these women" "these are our dates" "but i wanted to trap you two AND eif and taylor" "we don't hang out with eif any more" "he's fallen in with a rough crowd" The scene briefly cuts to Eif at an underground elderly fighting ring. "GO AGNES TEAR MILDRED LIMB FROM LIMB" The scene cuts back to the concert. "no matter; i will crush them later; NOW YOU AND YOUR DATES WILL FACE MY WRATH" "BO-RING" Gwendolyn turns into a bat and flies around Patrick's head. "hey patrick how are you nice death beam are you gonna fire it huh huh who you gonna fire it at huh huh" "hey quit it i can't aim my death beam if you're buzzing around my head" A gunshot rings out from the balcony, striking Patrick straight between the eyes. Jakey and Bran look up to see Grace standing behind a sniper rifle. "score one for the ladies" "shame that's all you'll score" Patrick appears behind Grace and takes her hostage. "oh and i've also got your bat friend in this little cage" "not for long" Gwendolyn turns back into her human-esque form, shattering the cage and knocking Patrick down. Grace and Gwendolyn then high-five and hop down to the lower level. "so uh boys do us a favour and finish the job" "we'll be waiting in the car" "ALL RIGHT PLAYTIME'S OVER" Patirck leaps down and lands right on top of Bran. "CAN'T YOU SEE THAT I AM INVINCIBLE AND CANNOT BE DEFEATED" "i can totally defeat you" "how so" "with updog" "..." "..." "what's updog" "nothing much; you?" "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" Patrick melts away to nothing, his pride shattered. "that went well" "i didn't even have to do anything which was nice" "now let's get back to the girls and go for some plain hamburgers" "the best kind of hamburgers"
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://www.last.fm/user/Teh_Jakester/
Jakeyadventure
apple computers


Male
Number of posts : 7685
Age : 23
Favourite Band : Nirvana
Registration date : 2007-12-29

PostSubject: Re: Teh Forum RPG [Reboot] XV   Fri Jun 24, 2016 2:14 pm

CHAPTOUR THIRTEEN:
"IT'S TIME FOR THE SAME ENDING AS ALWAYS BITCHES" "..." "..." "FUCK" "welp" "that's it, rpgboot is over" "i'm so sorry" "sorry doesn't cut it" The actors leave the set in shame. "what have i done" Eif turns and heads to the janitor's closet, head held in shame. "goodbye... cruel world" Eif hits himself over the head with a mop repeatedly. "ow" "lo all" Stevman does a kneeslide onto the set, shredding the shreddiest solo ever heard by mortal ears. "..." "..." "okay rpgboot's not over any more" "ow" "eif you can stop hitting yourself with that mop" "must atone for sins" "take me home" "NO MICHELLE IT IS TIME YOU LEARNED WHERE HOME IS" "but then my catchphrase would be meaningless" "we survive just fine without catchphrases!!!" "YOU HAVE NO SOULS" Michelle turns and heads for home. "where do i live" "sigh" Jakey and Michelle head home. "where's og loc when you need him"
THE END
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://www.last.fm/user/Teh_Jakester/
 
Teh Forum RPG [Reboot] XV
View previous topic View next topic Back to top 
Page 1 of 1
 Similar topics
-
» Teh Forum RPG [Reboot] VIII: A Choose-Your-Own Adventure
» Defining Superman's powers for reboot!
» Joey Wheeler Reboot Deck
» Mai-Multiverse Forum: Regeln und Richtlinien DEUTSCH
» Kara's Mai-Multiverse Forum Banner

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
ADVENTURE :: high tier :: rpgboots-
Jump to: