Yu-Gi-Oh! Arc-VI (season 1)

EPYSODE ONE:
"hey dude you are the chosen one and you must save the world by playing cards" "oh shit dog i love poker" "STOP I HEAR YOU ARE IN CHARGE OF SAVING THE WORLD" "well i don't like to brag but-" "I CHALLENGE YOU TO A CARD GAME" "all right" Jakey grabs his deck of cards. "the game is texas hold 'em aces high and-" "dude this is serious" "would you rather play aces low? i'm not picky" Svart slaps the deck of cards out of Jakey's hands and slaps on his duel disk. "oh that kind of card game" "I'LL GO FIRST; I SUMMON THE OBNOXIOUS CELTIC GUARDIAN" "hello" "hello" "then i play two cards face-down and end my turn also" "MY TURN" Jakey draws his card. "NOW I DO A BUNCH OF BULLSHIT TO GET MY ACE MONSTER ON THE FIELD" Svart sweats. "uh boston city rules clearly state that uh ace monsters can't attack the turn they're summoned" "SHIT I'M DOOMED HOW WILL I EVER BEAT HIM"

EPYSODE TWO:
"ahahahahahaha you cannot defeat me and also my cards" "wanna bet?!" "YES and if you lose this card game, i will shoot you with a bullet from my gun, sending your soul to the shadow realm!!!" "oh noooooooo" "my turn!!!" Svart draws his card. "i summon the luminescent celtic guardian!!!" "dude that's not a card that exists" "WHAT IT TOTALLY IS" Svart holds up a card that looks like it was drawn by a five-year-old. "i stand corrected" "WHEN SUMMONED, THE LUMINESCENT CLETIC GUARDIAN DESTROYS ALL OF YOUR MONSTERS" "SHIT" "NOW I ATTACK YOUR LIFEPOINTS DIRECTLY" "YOU CAN'T I uh HAVE A FORCEFIELD" "DAMMIT FOILED AGAIN but i must win because of my tragic backstory" "oh do tell" "my son was playing in traffic but then a car came and..." A single tear streams down Svart's face. "and sent him to the shadow realm!!!" "yeah gotta watch out for those ancient egyptian cars" "i end my turn" "oh no my entire life or something rests on this last card i draw"

EPYSODE THREE:
"AHAHA I DREW THE EXACT CARD I NEEDED" "WHAT" Jakey fumbles with a pen and blank card behind his back. "it's a monster called uh elemental guardian celtic hero of uh luminescent light of the uh guardian" "well my luminescent celtic guardian automatically destroys any card you summon" "oh yeah?! well when it is destroyed my monster can uh" Jakey quickly takes out a pen and scribbles something on his card. "DESTROY ALL YOUR MONSTERS AND ALSO WIPE OUT ALL YOUR LIFE POINTS" "well my luminescent celtic guardian negates all your monster effects" "uh uh" Jakey scribbles on his card again. "ALSO THIS EFFECT CANNOT BE NEGATED" "FUCK" As Svart's life points drain to zero, his body goes limp. "oh no his soul has been sent to the shadow realm" "you did it jakey you have saaaaaaaaaaaved the world" "gee"
THE END