pokeman designs i have a PROBLEM with

i'd like to make an addendum to this post
i realise looking back that at this point i had a huge vendetta against Gen VII
so i'd like to try this again
(not going to give reasons this time; i think the new ones are self-explanatory)

Gen I (2/151) - Blastoise / Gloom
Gen II (1/100) - Igglybuff
Gen III (0/135)
Gen IV (2/107) - Buneary / Rhyperior
Gen V (10/156) - Wotter / Palpitoad / Cancertoad / Whimsicott / Jellicent / Cubchoo / genies / Keldeo
Gen VI  (4/72) - Fennekin / Braixen / Delphox / Goodra
Gen VII (15/88) - Dartrix / Incineroar / Brionne / Primarina / Mudsdale / Shiinotic / Salazzle / Pyumukyu / Type: Null / Sylvally / Turtonator / Bruxish / Guzzlord
ALOLAN FORMS (1/18) - Raichu
Gen VIII (11/87) - Inteleon / Eldegoss / Chewtle / CARKOL / COALOSSAL / Hatterene / Grimmsnarl / Obstagoon / Eiscue / Arctozolt / Duraludon
GALARIAN FORMS (2/18) - Rapidash / Weezing












ORIGINAL OP:
so the recent shit about gen vii and its piss-poor designs have made me want to compare it to old generations and see how many of those i hate
this has nothing to do with usability, just the design
let's watch as i tell you how much i hate your favourite guy

i'm not going to list nitpicky shit like
"graveller looks lame compared to geodude"
or
"machamp's lips are weird"
just 100% hatred



GEN I:

BLASTOISE
okay so squirtle has this tail that's meant to look like a wave
wartortle continues the wave theme by making its tail DEFINITELY UNMISTAKABLY look like a wave, and adding waves to its head
then
blastoise
has a normal-ass tail
and guns
WOW
WAY TO THROW YOUR DESIGN THEME OUT THE WINDOW FOR NO GOOD REASON
note: this is by far the least terrible on this list

JIGGLYPUFF
nauseatingly "cute"
artificial cuteness is cancer
the "pink ball" design was done better by kirby, who is legit cute
the eyes, the curly whirly, and the ears are just obnoxious

GLOOM
that drool trail makes me sick
i get why it's terrible
but it's still terrible


GEN II:

IGGLYBUFF
those eyes make it look really fucking creepy
harlequin foetus-tier shit


GEN III:

N/A


GEN IV:

BUNEARY
the asymmetry makes me want to die
fuck you and your one midget ear

RHYPERIOR
i think we all understand this one
it's ugly as fuck when rhydon was cool as fuck


GEN V:

WATER STARTER
another example of "trying too hard to be cute", except this time it isn't cute at all
this is the single ugliest starter in the series (it's a miracle they saved the design by the last stage)

PALPITOAD
DUH-HUH LOOK AT ME I'M RETARDED AND HAVE TUMOURS ALL OVER

SEISMITOAD
would be pretty cool if not for the tumours

WHIMSICOTT
that fucking green thing on the back of this little nigger girl is obnoxious and i hate it

VANILLUXE
ice creams aren't SIDE-BY-SIDE, they're STACKED ON TOP

JELLICENT (FEMALE)
those lips and that weird pink fluffy band are really unsettling

CUBCHOO
remember that little faggot in wind waker
with the snot running down his nose 24/7
fuck you that's gross get a tissue faggot

TORNADUS
THUNDURUS
LANDORUS
three nearly identical-looking creatures in the exact same pose
fuck you

KELDEO
is it just me
or are those cartoon horses all the paedophiles masturbate to
really ugly
the artstyle is horrible and it doesn't help that i see it EVERYWHERE


GEN VI:

FENNEKIN
tries way too hard to be cute, and the hair in its ears looks stupid as fuck

BRAIXEN
DELPHOX
such obvious furrybait
hair in the ears

GOODRA
this one was ruined for me by an outside source
so i don't know if i truly hate it
or if i've been conditioned to hate it

GEN VII:

YUNGOOS
those teeth just make it look stupid as fuck

BRUXISH
the faggot Pokémon

BEWEAR
PRE-EVOLUTION
dumb pun name to start
the black body/pink head looks dumb as fuck
the whole thing looks like a "this should sell a lot of stuffed animals" deal

BOUNSWEET
WHY
IS
IT
WEARING
A
DIAPER

PYUKUMYUKU
asshole for a face






TOTAL SHIT DESIGNS:
GEN I: 3/151
GEN II: 1/100
GEN III: 0/135
GEN IV: 2/107
GEN V: 11/156
GEN VI: 4/72
GEN VII: 6/40


GEN VII IS ON TRACK TO BE THE WORST YET
WITH ONLY 40 DESIGNS SO FAR
IT IS ALREADY SECOND-WORST

DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN NIGGA

I have big issues with most of the new evos introduced in Gen IV.

Magmortar, Rhyperior, Tangrowth, Lickilicky, Magnezone, Togekiss, Electivire....they're all just fat versions of the previous Pokémon. Mamoswine was the only good one of the new evos. (weavile is debatable, but just adding new spikes on his head is hardly a creative idea). I'd agree Rhyperior is the worst of the new ones.

Double cones are definitely a thing.

Whimsicott is one of my favorite Pokémon of all time, and the surprise of the green thing on its back was an added bonus

I can forgive the ass-for-a-mouth Pokémon, because it reminds me of this scene from a chinese cartoon. Also, pyukumyuku is a cool name.

As far as starters go, I've always had beef with Feraligatr. Such a boring final stage.
All of the Gen II starters have super boring middle and final stages, but feraligatr takes the cake for least creativity.



I have a much shortened list:


GEN I
Pinsir
That stupid mouth
and the pointless spikes on his horns/pincers
and that terrible color scheme (which is somehow made WORSE with his mega)
I'm so happy for Vikavolt to save the stag beetle image from this atrocity

Dugtrio (in X/Y)
Dugtrio on it's own is cool
Dugtrio MOVING, all 3 at varying directions and speeds, is disturbing


GEN II
See above

GEN III
Huntail / Gorebyss
They look like stock enemies from a water level in any bad RPG. They're such filler Pokémon it hurts
not to mention, functionally, they're trade evolution and look nothing like Clamperl.

GEN IV
See above

GEN V
There were a lot of Pokémon that were just there, but none that stood out to me as being truly awful.

GEN VI
Slurpuff
just a gross Pokémon to look at
I don't know why anyone thought it was a good idea
and a bad example for the exploration of the new fairy type

GEN VII
There are some really bad ones, but I don't know the names. Let me go by descriptions
Lip Fish
The Stupid Old Dragon
Trump Weasel
Red Panda + Red Panda's dad
Sandhouse + Sandcastle

It's funny because half of Gen VII is GREAT while the rest are just there (at best).

OLD MAN DRAGON IS THE BEST YOU TAKE THAT BACK


also togekiss and electivire are LEGIT in my top ten dudes
and i'm not a fan at all of togetic/electabuzz