Hanukkah Special 2014

HANUKKAH SPECIAL AND SHIT:
"oh honey i am so glad you are home from work for the year now we need to buy hanukkah presents for the kids" "yeah uh about that; i kind of spent all the hanukkah money on soft pretzels at the carnival" "oh well uh did you at least get me one" Bran smiles sheepishly at Amiee :3. "out" "but-" "OUT" Bran exits the house, dejected. "mummy where's my presents" "yeah mummy hanukkah is tomorrow and if i don't get my ez-bake oven deluxe i will be FURIOUS" "did you get one of those last year" Jakey covers his face with his hands. "that was LAST YEAR'S MODEL YOU STUPID FUCKING CUNT PIECE OF SHIT USELESS HOW CAN I TRUST YOU TO GET GIFTS FOR ME THIS IS FUCKING BULLSHIT" Jakey storms out of the house, shoving Bran in a snowbank as he passes. "so uh what do you want for hanukkah kids so i can make a facsimile out of sticks and bubblegum" "I WANT A UNICORN" "i want a rocket ship" "i just want a cure for my disease" "OH FUCK OFF TINY TIM" "YEAH TINY TIM STOP BEING SO SELFISH" "s-sorry" "kids in order to afford these things we will have to sell one of you into slavery" "I VOTE FOR TINY TIME" "SECONDED" "sorry tiny tim the mob has spoken" "it's okay; i'm just glad you guys could have a merry hanukkah" "OH FUCK OFF YOU FUCKING SELFISH PIECE OF SHIT" "s-sorry" Amiee :3, Eif, and Taylor take Tiny Tim and head to ChildStop. "hello and welcome to childstop would you like to preorder our newest model, jerry" "wasn't that last year's model" "no that was gerry" "oh sorry" "i'd like to trade in this child" Amiee :3 drops Tiny Tim on the counter. "well uh i can't give you too much for it as it is damaged" "it was like this when i bought it" "then i'm sorry you're shit at purchasing children" Sheriff Antony inspects Tiny Tim from top to bottom. "i'll give you a quarter for him" "DEAL" Sheriff Antony flicks a quarter at Amiee :3, and she wanders off to the pawn shop. Sheriff Antony slaps a sticker on Tiny Tim, pricing him at $25, and slaps him on the shelf next to two other children no one wanted, Orange and A HARLEQUIN FOETUS KNIGHT
Sheriff Antony twirls his revolvers. "heh" Bran launches the harlequin foetus knight into the air, and Sheriff Antony shoots it with his revolvers. Taylor leaps into the air and impales the harlequin foetus knight. Taylor leaps off, and Tony runs at the harlequin foetus knight, sword dragging across the floor, and releases it into a deadly spiral of energy. The harlequin foetus knight is launched into the air, and Michelle leaps at it and kicks it at a wall. Amiee :3 makes pastry for Jakey and Eif as they play Strip Parcheesi. "so like" "yeah?" "what now" "well according to protocol, one of us has to get his/her powers now" "but i already have them" "play along you you not-very-cool guy" "TAKE THAT BACK" "okay yeah that was mean" "OKAY" Jakey runs around aimlessly and gets struck by a bolt of electricity. Electricity shoots from Jakey's left hand and obliterates the harlequin foetus knight. "wow nice job jakey" "yeah you're pretty cool" "you mean it?!" "no" "fuck"