Columbus Day Special 2014

COLUMBUS DAY SPECIAL AND SHIT:
"men we are assembled here today to voyage to india for i hear that they alone can quell our beef shortage" "yes yes let's just go; every moment i spend without a delicious juicy steak in my mouth is a moment WASTED" "well said; ONWARD" The crew hoists anchor and sets sail for India. "GUYS I KNOW A SHORTCUT" "oh boy" Navigator Bran steers the ship due west. "we are going to be rolling in SO MANY STEAKS" "word up nigga"
Many months pass as the ship sails across the ocean, but eventually they strike land. "YESSSSSSSSSS" The crew exits the ship with force, carrying with them their favourite cutlery. "uh" "where are all the beefs" "yeah where's the-" "HOLY SHIT THIS ISN'T INDIA" "no you can't mean-" "WE'VE ACCIDENTALLY DISCOVERED AMERICA" "NO NO I DIDN'T WANT TO DISCOVER THAT" "yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeehawwwwwwwwwwww" Three Americans ride up in their pick-'em-up trucks. "looks like we've got a couple of foreigners here clem" "what're we gonna do rufus" "we're gonna have a barbeque, otis!!!" "yeeeeeeeeeeeehawwwwwwwwwwww" Rufus, Otis, and Clem swing their partners 'round and 'round. "we've got to get out of here" "word" The crew of the S.S. Loveboat sneak back onto their ship and sail away, hoping to find India some other way. "aw mannnnn otis they've left us" "well shucks rufus guess we'll have to eat the old standby" "aw man i'm tired of eating A HARLEQUIN FOETUS KNIGHT"
Sheriff Antony twirls his revolvers. "heh" Bran launches the harlequin foetus knight into the air, and Sheriff Antony shoots it with his revolvers. Taylor leaps into the air and impales the harlequin foetus knight. Taylor leaps off, and Tony runs at the harlequin foetus knight, sword dragging across the floor, and releases it into a deadly spiral of energy. The harlequin foetus knight is launched into the air, and Michelle leaps at it and kicks it at a wall. Amiee :3 makes pastry for Jakey and Eif as they play Strip Parcheesi. "so like" "yeah?" "what now" "well according to protocol, one of us has to get his/her powers now" "but i already have them" "play along you you not-very-cool guy" "TAKE THAT BACK" "okay yeah that was mean" "OKAY" Jakey runs around aimlessly and gets struck by a bolt of electricity. Electricity shoots from Jakey's left hand and obliterates the harlequin foetus knight. "wow nice job jakey" "yeah you're pretty cool" "you mean it?!" "no" "fuck"