Band Hiroshima

So, I own every Guitar Hero game now. $5 is my sweetspot, and goddamn, did I find a sweet spot to get these games. i'm so sorry
These means I will be posting my impressions on every game in release order at a reasonable pace. Here is the list:
Guitar Hero: World Tour
Guitar Hero Metallica
Guitar Hero: Skipped Numbers are Edgy
Band Hero
Guitar Hero Van Halen
Guitar Hero: Warriors of Rock


Band Hero was released in 2009 as a "kid-oriented" Guitar Hero game. It was in direct competition with Harmonix's kid-oriented Rock Band game, LEGO Rock Band. I think Harmonix have it just by the LEGO thing, but let's see where this goes anyway.

The gameplay is ripped from SNAE, so.
All the characters have received new outfits that completely ruin them, but, luckily, you can switch back to their normal SNAE outfits. A game where Izzy isn't blonde with huge hair is a bad game.
They brought back Midori, though, and her outfits aren't as outlandishly Japanese any more, so I can finally accomplish my dream of having a band made entirely out of cute girls.

The DS version has different songs, which is bullshit. I want to play all of these songs:
Avril Lavigne/"Girlfriend"
Fall Out Boy/"Thanks for the Memories"
Kaiser Chiefs/"I Predict a Riot"
Kasabian/"Club Foot"
The Last Shadow Puppets/"The Age of the Understatement"
Lenny Kravitz/"Fly Away"
The Rolling Stones/"Under My Thumb"

FUCKING FLY AWAY
This isn't even counting Harmonix GH/RB repeats that are all better than a lot of what we got.

Cold War Kids/"Hang Me Up to Dry": D
Obviously, the best way to start your game is with a bad song by a band I've never heard of. This song is VERY bad, just so you know. The vocalist might be dying during it.

Culture Club/"Do You Really Want to Hurt Me": D
This is also a bad song. There are only like two lines, and they repeat over and over and over and fuck you. They should have gone with Karma Chameleon.

The Turtles/"Happy Together": A-
Finally, a good song. And not just a good song, a great song. The chart's fine, I guess.

OK Go/"A Million Ways": C+
I think Here it Goes Again was a fluke. This isn't a very good song. The chart's kind of fun, though.
After redoing the song for the bass challenge, I retract my earlier statement. It's a pretty good song.

Evanescence/"Bring Me to Life": D+
Colloquially known as "Wake Me Up Inside". Mediocre as shit song, mediocre as shit chart. But, hey, I hit the secret notes, whatever those were.

David Bowie/"Let's Dance": A-
This song was in LEGO Rock Band, too. It's much better than I remember it being, on all fronts.

Roy Orbison/"Oh, Pretty Woman": B+
Another great song with a fun chart. No complaints, even if I'd played it in Rock Band before.

Hilary Duff/"So Yesterday": C+
Kind of a boring chart, but it's a nice song.

The Bravery/"Believe": B-
The chart isn't bad (the solo's cool), and neither is the song. The bass riff at the beginning is where it's at. In fact, the bass part is a B+, if not an A-.

Hinder/"Lips of an Angel": D
Boring song with bad singing.

N.O.E.R.D./"Rock Star": F
What the fuck even was that?
Despite N.O.E.R.D.'s claims that "it's almost over now", it never fucking was.

The Go-Gos/"Our Lips are Sealed": C-
This girl's voice doesn't work for any song that isn't We Got the Beat.

Marvin Gaye/"I Heard it Through the Grapevine": A
I'm pretty sure not all of those instruments were guitar, but whatever. This shit is pure gold.

The Jackson Five/"ABC": D B
LEGO Rock Band had I Want You Back, which is the better song, and it has a more interesting chart and whatever, but it's hard to deny the charisma of a young Michael Jackson.

The All-American Rejects/"Dirty Little Secret": C-
Generic in every way possible.

Santigold/"L.E.S. Artistes": F
This song is horrible in every way. It's beyond me how two people got into a room and decided it was a good idea to give this chick a microphone.

Spice Girls/"Wannabe": A+
Look, I can't. Just, it is, okay?

Tonic/"If You Could Only See": B-
A mediocre chart, but a good song. It could do with being just a bit shorter, though.

Everclear/"Santa Monica": B-
This song is pretty good, and has some neat licks near the end. It doesn't overstay its welcome at all.

Lily Allen/"Take What You Take": B-
A pretty good song with a pretty good chart. I was skeptical at the name, but I was pleasantly surprised.

Joan Jett/"Bad Reputation": B-
This song was also in Rock Band 2. I prefer the way Harmonix charted the solo.

Devo/"Whip It": A+
This song was also in Rock Band 3. I prefer the way Harmonix ended the song.
But it's still fucking Whip It.

The Last Good Night/"Pictures of You": C
Did they seriously SERIOUSLY censor the word "gun"? SERIOUSLY?

Snow Patrol/"Take Back the City": C-
Super-mediocre.

Ben Harper and the Innocent Criminals/"Steal My Kisses": C-
Even mediocrer. It gains points for the bassline, but loses them immediately from the bad beatboxing.

Taylor Swift/"Love Story": D
Taylor Swift herself joins you onstage. By which I mean Taylor Swift joins a bunch of generic backing guys rather than your band.
I don't know why, but Taylor's model looks kind of dumpy. They managed to capture how she looks like a total bitch when you can see her eyebrows, so that's nice. Maybe it's the eye makeup or the way she sculpts her eyebrows, but she looks totally mean most of the time pre-Red.
Oh, the song? It's generic teen bullshit. I love holding down the blue button and strumming for an entire song.

The Rolling Stones/"Honky Tonk Woman": C+
You have the run of The Rolling Stones' discography, and you choose fucking Honky Tonk Woman. Fucking why? It's not the worst song to play or hear, but fucking really?

Styx/"Mr. Roboto": A+
Has a more perfect song ever been created? I think not.

Poison/"Every Rose Has its Thorn": A+
The best glam metal ballad that isn't by Night Ranger. Or Skid Row. Or Winger. Or Motley Crue. Okay, maybe it's not that great.
The chart is really fun, though.

Yellowcard/"Ocean Avenue": B-
The chart is fun, but the song isn't their best. R.I.P. Agnew

Pat Benatar/"Love is a Battlefield": C
It just kind of drags on, and it's not as good a song as Heartbreaker or Hit Me with Your Best Shot.

Corinne Bailey Rae/"Put Your Records On": D-
People perform this shit every year on those talent shows, and this is my first time hearing the original.
Holy shit, it's bad. The way the chick pronounces her words is horrible, and her voice isn't very good. Kids these days, I swear.

Maroon 5/"She Will be Loved": D-
Adam Levine himself joins some random schmucks on stage to sing this song.
Apparently, Adam sued Activision over his appearance in this game. Hell, I'd sue, too, if they made me sing this piece of shit song.

Janet Jackson/"Black Cat": B+
This song has a fun guitar solo, and is pretty good in general.

Fall Out Boy/"Sugar, We're Goin' Down": C+
It's a good enough song, but kind of boring for the game.

3 Doors Down/"When I'm Gone": B-
This is how you do forgettable modern-ass rock music in these games. The chart was interesting, even if the song wasn't.

Duffy/"Warwick Avenue": B
Why does Duffy sound like she has a cold? That's my only complaint, because the guitar part gets really neat toward the end. That's probably not actually guitar, but I don't give a shit.

Big Country/"In a Big Country": B+
Just like in Rock Band 3, this song surprised me with how fun it is. It's just a shame that it's not a very good song.

Finger Eleven/"Paralyser": B
The chart has its good moments and bad, but it's a good song either way.

Cheap Trick/"I Want You to Want Me": A+
Holy shit, that fucking everything. I knew it was a great song, but I hadn't realised how fucking great that guitar part is.

Katrina and the Waves/"Walkin' on Sunshine": A+
Out of fucking principle.
The fact that this song was in both this and LEGO Rock Band only shows that both sides have taste. If you can seriously not smile when this song comes on, you have no soul. This might be the greatest song ever fucking written.

Angels and Airwaves/"The Adventure": D-
Blink-182 - anything that makes them not horrible = Angels and Airwaves

Counting Crows/"Angels of the Silences": C-
If LEGO Rock Band's Accidentally in Love set any expectations, disregard them. This song is incredibly generic and boring unlike Accidentally in Love.

Jesse McCartney/"Beautiful Soul": B+
I'm actually impressed. Roxas is a better singer than I'd thought, and the guitar-playing was great. I don't know if that was him, but whatever.

Alphabeat/"Fascination": C-
Kind of generic, but decent enough.

Filter/"Take a Picture": D
No matter what you say, I've got better chords to play.

No Doubt/"Don't Speak": D-
The entire band makes an appearance, but Gwen Stefani should really follow her own advice.

Nelly Furtado/"Turn Off the Light": D-
Speaking of horrible singers.

The Village People/"YMCA": YMCA+
THEY ANIMATED YOUR SINGER DOING THE YMCA GESTURES
GAME OF THE YEAR
ALL YEARS

Dashboard Confessional/"Hands Down": D+
Hands down, the most mediocre song in the game.

Carl Douglas/"Kung Fu Fighting": A+
THEY ANIMATED YOUR WHOLE BAND DOING KUNG FU MOVES
GAME OF THE YEAR
ALL YEARS

Aly and AJ/"Like, Woah!": B+
Like, woah!

Taylor Swift/"Picture to Burn": B
I was prepared to write this one off, but that chart is SUPER-fun. Shame about the song beneath it and the dumpy Taylor Swift model. At least we got a nice close-up on her ass.

Taylor Swift/"You Belong with Me": D+
What the fuck is there even left to say? Dumpy-ass Taylor Swift is here for a third time to play generic-ass country-ass music-ass bullshit for us.

Duran Duran/"Rio": D
I'm sure the drummer and bassist are having fun, but I'm sure not.

K.T. Tunstall/"Black Horse and the Cherry Tree": B+
Both a better and more fun song than LEGO Rock Band's Suddenly I See. They're both great, though.

Robbie Williams and Kylie Minogue/"Kids": C
The guitar part sounds really nice and almost groovy, but the rest of the song is just boring.

Parachute/"Back Again": C+
Kind of generic.

No Doubt/"Just a Girl": F
GET HER AWAY FROM THAT MICROPHONE
PLEASE

Papa Roach/"Lifeline": C-
Pretty fucking generic.

The Airborne Toxic Event/"Gasoline": C-
LIKE BULLETS FROM A *CENSORED*

The Kooks/"Naive": C+
This song was in LEGO Rock Band, also. The guy is still annoyingly British.

Joss Stone/"You Had Me": A-
The guitar chart is fucking great. I didn't like Joss's voice at first, but it grew on me.

The Mighty Mighty Bosstones/"The Impression That I Get": B-
Their song in Rock Band 2 was so much better, it isn't even funny.
THAT WAS THE FINAL ENCORE?
HOLY SHIT

Don McLean/"American Pie": A+
What even is there to say about American Pie? They probably should have saved it for Warriors of Rock, honestly. It seems kind of odd after playing so much not-rock.
Also, they apparently censored "whiskey". I couldn't tell because I was singing along.

Overall, this game is underrated as fuck. I'd recommend it to anyone.




As a recap, here are the stats of "same band different song":

(band): (bh song) / (lrb song): (game that won)

The All-American Rejects: "Dirty Little Secret" / "Swing, Swing": BH
Counting Crows: "Angel of the Silences" / "Accidentally in Love": LRB
The Jackson Five: "ABC" / "I Want You Back": LRB
K.T. Tunstall: "Black Horse and the Cherry Tree" / "Suddenly I See": BH