TAX DAY SPECIAL AND SHIT:
"JAKEY I DIDN'T DO MY TAXES" "yeah, i can imagine it would be hard to have carnal relations with an entire state" "..." "i mean it's even the largest one so" "okay 1: texas is not the largest state; 2: i said 'taxes'" "uh i don't know what that is" "but you have to do it every year or you will go to jail" "sounds serious; what does it entail" "basically you give money to the government" "..." "..." "eif what you are suggesting is robbery and that is illegal" "but the government says-" "OF COURSE THE PEOPLE ROBBING YOU WILL SAY THAT IT ISN'T A CRIME; WAKE THE FUCK UP" "y-you're right" Eif tears up his tax form. "i am going to not do my taxes" Sheriff Antony runs into the house, handcuffs Eif, and runs out, shoving Eif into his squad car. "you get one phone call" Eif picks up the phone and dials. "JAKEY YOU CUNT" "i never said you wouldn't get arrested, just that you should have the moral high ground to stand up for what you believe in" "but-" "grow a spine for fuck's sake" Jakey hangs up and goes back to his favourite television programme, A HARLEQUIN FOETUS KNIGHT
Sheriff Antony twirls his revolvers. "heh" Bran launches the harlequin foetus knight into the air, and Sheriff Antony shoots it with his revolvers. Taylor leaps into the air and impales the harlequin foetus knight. Taylor leaps off, and Tony runs at the harlequin foetus knight, sword dragging across the floor, and releases it into a deadly spiral of energy. The harlequin foetus knight is launched into the air, and Michelle leaps at it and kicks it at a wall. Amiee :3 makes pastry for Jakey and Eif as they play Strip Parcheesi. "so like" "yeah?" "what now" "well according to protocol, one of us has to get his/her powers now" "but i already have them" "play along you you not-very-cool guy" "TAKE THAT BACK" "okay yeah that was mean" "OKAY" Jakey runs around aimlessly and gets struck by a bolt of electricity. Electricity shoots from Jakey's left hand and obliterates the harlequin foetus knight. "wow nice job jakey" "yeah you're pretty cool" "you mean it?!" "no" "fuck"