HANUKKAH SPECIAL AND SHIT:
"HAPPY HANUKKAH EVERYBODY" "IT IS TIME TO OPEN PRESENTS" "oh boy" "eif open this one it is from me, jakey" Jakey points at Eif and winks, his teeth a sparkling white. "oh boy" Eif tears into the hastily-wrapped present and takes out a bunch of paper with words on it. "it's a copy of my novel!!!" "oh what a coincidence i also got you a copy of your novel" Eif hands Jakey a present, and Jakey tears into it. "oh wow i bet whoever wrote this novel is very smart + good at writing" "wrong on both counts" "aw" Jakey chucks his novel into the fireplace. "why did you do that!!! it was signed by the author!!!" "oh fuck how am i ever going to get jakey's signature now" Jakey holds his face in his hands. "Jakey Open My Present Next" "okay robert truckdriver 17" Jakey tears into a package and pulls out a handful of toothbrushes. "uh thanks?" "Dental Hygiene Is Important Jakey" "yeah jakey you don't want to end up with..." The camera zooms in on Eif's face as the orchestra swells. "GINGIVITIS" "OH NO" Jakey tears into the toothbrushes and crams them into his mouth. "my turn!!!" Bran rips into his present from Robert Truckdriver 17. "oh boy more toothbrushes" Bran unwraps a toothbrush and runs it through his hair. "what a great multi-purpose tool" "me next me next" Sheriff Antony tears into his gift from Bran, A HARLEQUIN FOETUS KNIGHT
Sheriff Antony twirls his revolvers. "heh" Bran launches the harlequin foetus knight into the air, and Sheriff Antony shoots it with his revolvers. Taylor leaps into the air and impales the harlequin foetus knight. Taylor leaps off, and Tony runs at the harlequin foetus knight, sword dragging across the floor, and releases it into a deadly spiral of energy. The harlequin foetus knight is launched into the air, and Michelle leaps at it and kicks it at a wall. Amiee :3 makes pastry for Jakey and Eif as they play Strip Parcheesi. "so like" "yeah?" "what now" "well according to protocol, one of us has to get his/her powers now" "but i already have them" "play along you you not-very-cool guy" "TAKE THAT BACK" "okay yeah that was mean" "OKAY" Jakey runs around aimlessly and gets struck by a bolt of electricity. Electricity shoots from Jakey's left hand and obliterates the harlequin foetus knight. "wow nice job jakey" "yeah you're pretty cool" "you mean it?!" "no" "fuck"