BLACK FRIDAY SPECIAL AND SHIT:
"oh boy oh boy i can't wait to get into this best buy store and purchase a large-screen television for only $19.95" "how will you even get it back home; you don't have a truck" "with my hands?" "yeah jakey come on this is obvious" "s-sorry" "why are you guys even here if you are not going to buy a television" "but we are here to buy a television" "but that is impossible" "what why" "because i am going to buy all of the televisions" "WHAT" "NO FAIR" "WHY DO YOU NEED MORE THAN ONE" "so that i can watch multiple programmes at once" "yeah jakey come on this is obvious" "s-sorry" "despite the logic in your statement, it is unfair for you to buy more than one television when we are all here for one" "that's not true; i'm just here for the experience" "the... experience?" "yeah this shit only happens once a year; i need to experience it with all my might" "I NOW DECLARE THIS BLACK FRIDAY SALE OPEN" Customers storm through the doorway, trampling Jakey. "haha yes this is great!!! trample me more!!!"
"GET BACK HERE" "I'D RATHER NOT" Eif barrels down the aisles, chasing after Svart. Svart leaps over a Mac display without much effort. Eif runs straight at it, but slides under at the last second. Svart weaves his way through the crowd and makes it to the television section. "OH NO YOU DON'T" Svart grabs the first television, but Eif leaps onto a counter, then leaps high into the air over Svart and rips the television from his hands. "NOOOOOOOO MY OPTIMAL VIEWING EXPERIENCE" "HAHA NOW I WILL BE ABLE TO WATCH MY STORIES IN GLORIOUS MEDIUM DEFINITION" "DAMN YOU" Svart bangs on the floor as more people take televisions. "DAMN YOOOOUUUUUUUUUU" Svart tears off his shirt as he kneels on the floor, a single tear streaming down his cheek. Eif exits Best Buy, triumphant, stepping over Jakey. "HEY YOU DON'T STEP OVER ME; TRAMPLE ME" "uh-" "DIG YOUR HEEL INTO MY SKIN AND MAKE IT HURT SO GOOD" "uh bye jakey" "COME BACK" Eif begins the trek home while Jakey gets trampled by A HARLEQUIN FOETUS KNIGHT
Sheriff Antony twirls his revolvers. "heh" Bran launches the harlequin foetus knight into the air, and Sheriff Antony shoots it with his revolvers. Taylor leaps into the air and impales the harlequin foetus knight. Taylor leaps off, and Tony runs at the harlequin foetus knight, sword dragging across the floor, and releases it into a deadly spiral of energy. The harlequin foetus knight is launched into the air, and Michelle leaps at it and kicks it at a wall. Amiee :3 makes pastry for Jakey and Eif as they play Strip Parcheesi. "so like" "yeah?" "what now" "well according to protocol, one of us has to get his/her powers now" "but i already have them" "play along you you not-very-cool guy" "TAKE THAT BACK" "okay yeah that was mean" "OKAY" Jakey runs around aimlessly and gets struck by a bolt of electricity. Electricity shoots from Jakey's left hand and obliterates the harlequin foetus knight. "wow nice job jakey" "yeah you're pretty cool" "you mean it?!" "no" "fuck"