Runtime Remasters

Subject: Runtime Remasters Mon Jan 16, 2012 2:05 pm

JAKEY and JESSICA are selecting new covers for the Runtime Remasters series, by unanimous vote of "they can do it".
These will be released one year at a time, starting with... 1976. JAKEY and JESSICA have decided not to even look at the original album covers and just go for it.
SO WITHOUT FURTHER ADO
THE REMASTERED ALBUM COVERS
WITH DESCRIPTIONS
AND SHIT

1976
Live in Hobo Alley, 1976
Runtime Remasters 2evqlxt

Svart hides in a box, afraid of being urinated on, while Jakey cautiously attempts to fill his lifelong dream of touching a hobo.

LOOK AT ME GUYS
Runtime Remasters 35mmja8

Jakey stares into the camera, craving the attention he feels he deserves. Previously called 'Fecal Matter'.

FUCK YEAH WE DID IT
Runtime Remasters 2ivd1k0

Svart flies on a geyser of toilet water as Jakey and Eif high-five after days of preparation. Bran reads Eif's copy of Pudding Club Monthly.

Subject: Re: Runtime Remasters Tue Jan 17, 2012 1:10 am

1977
This Album PAILS in Comparison to the Others
Runtime Remasters Waq8pe

Jakey, Bran and Eif attempt to win the heart of a pail. Previously called 'PAIL'.

Old Man Dead on the Ground Next to a Bundle of Sticks
Runtime Remasters 142aps6

During the album cover shoots, the old man died. After grabbing one last picture, everyone ran away soas not to be implicated. Previously called 'Old Man Carrying a Bundle of Sticks'.

Return to Hobo Alley, 1977
Runtime Remasters Mt70bl

Jakey cautiously attempts to fulfill his lifelong dream of urinating on a sleeping hobo.

Runes of Qua'althak
Runtime Remasters J5fuc7

Jakey and Bran uncover strange runes in a tomb. Eif refused to participate, calling their hats silly. He was immediately forced into a five-minute time-out for hurting Jakey's delicate feelings.

Subject: Re: Runtime Remasters Wed Jan 18, 2012 1:23 am

1978
MANIAS Y PHOB
Runtime Remasters 1zwdogw

Showcases many of Eif's worst fears, including: bad proportions, bad foreshortening, cutting off the ends of words, and impossible shapes. Previously called 'MANIAS Y PHOBIAS'.

Savin' for Your Favourite Def Leppard Album
Runtime Remasters 2dqr9rm

Bran looks disappointed that he can't purchase Def Leppard's critically acclaimed album, X. ALSO LOOK AT THAT 'RUNTIME ERROR' THAT TOOK ME FOREVER

The Rise and Fall of Fisher and His Friendly Lamp Post
Runtime Remasters 14kllbo

Guest appearance by Fisher and His Friendly Lamp Post.

Live at the Protest to Revive Hobo Alley, 1978
Runtime Remasters 1z5uqhl

Jakey rallies for Hobo Rights, while Bran is more pragmatic. Eif just wants attention, while Svart is only there for the food.

Shadow of My Former Self
Runtime Remasters Rkv2xf

This album art is a shadow of its former self.

Subject: Re: Runtime Remasters Wed Jan 18, 2012 11:59 pm

1979
The Revenge of Timothy
Runtime Remasters O9fmft

Timothy irritates the SHIT out of Eifion by poking him with a stick, as well as having a hairstyle that won't be fashionable for thirty years.

Live at Leeds '79
Runtime Remasters 15fro7s

GET IT IT'S A PUN Also Eif and Jakey struck oil.

Domesticated House Cats
Runtime Remasters Otqjvd

Bran lies unconscious, as he had to take sir cat's shots for him, as the cat had phased out of this dimension.

Fun Times with Paul Gilbert and Sting
Runtime Remasters 352g5t0

FUN FUN FUN FUN LOOKIN' FORWARD TO THE WEEKEND

Subject: Re: Runtime Remasters Thu Jan 26, 2012 12:55 pm

1980
Int!rgalactic^3
Runtime Remasters S4rr87

??? abducts the shit out of the band and also HENRY who is disguised as a cactus as a prank. Previously called 'Int!rgalactic^2'.

Shoe Defeats Rice
Runtime Remasters 1548ugl

HEY POLITICS LOOK AT ME Previously called 'Voting for Rice'.

Me + a Camel
Runtime Remasters 15rin0y

They're on a camel, if you couldn't tell.

Tambourinist on Chicago Tower
Runtime Remasters 2eojst2

It was like $40000000 to visit the Fjords of Chicago Previously called 'Fiddler on the Mosque'.

Subject: Re: Runtime Remasters Tue Feb 07, 2012 7:48 pm

1981
sell-outs
Runtime Remasters Nnpn5y

Eif drinks a can of Runtime Eroda soft drink.

Great Error: A Tribute to Great White
Runtime Remasters 303jrwi

Misinterpreting the album title given to them by Kellogg's, Eif and Bran sacrifice Jakey to a great white shark.

wait what
Runtime Remasters Nvxh51

They don't know what the fuck Kellogg's told them to do this time. This is their last album for Kellogg's. Previously called 'Fermented Anal'.

We Can't Dance for
Runtime Remasters 2u6d6yh

Jakey, Eif, Bran and Shoeless Bill were going to spell out "WCDF" in semaphore, but decided to go for a more aesthetically-pleasing arrangement of "YMCA".

Subject: Re: Runtime Remasters Tue Jul 30, 2013 1:54 pm

1982
My Proud
Runtime Remasters 2dhi3y1

Eif stands in the mirror, admiring his proud. Unfortunately, prouds do not photograph very well.

Rockin' in East™ Burlap
Runtime Remasters 5lp5l1

There was supposed to be a show in East Berlin, but Bran heard their then-record label, Magnavox, incorrectly, and purchased the band designer burlap sacks to wear while recording the new album. Bran also forgot that he is right-handed. Previously called 'Rockin' in East Berlin'.

The Pipes are Calling
Runtime Remasters 29kun4o

Jakey receives an important call from the pipes, telling him of their many great adventures over the last few years. Jakey stands in awe.

Hypochondriacs
Runtime Remasters Nnrzpx

Toward the end of 1982, an epidemic known as 'The Avian Flu' was going through Delaware. Mishearing the name as 'The Eifion Flu', the band proceeded to run around with their arms above their heads, screaming. In the process, they were severely injured. Previously called 'Hypotheticals'.

Subject: Re: Runtime Remasters Tue Jul 30, 2013 2:56 pm

1983
Gat Her
Runtime Remasters 2l8gpyu

Misreading the note left by then-record label Disney, Eif attempts to 'bust a cap' in 'her ass' with his 'gat'. Previously called 'Gather'.

Shit for Time
Runtime Remasters 8y565c

Realising it's already December, and they haven't even come close to filling Disney's album quota for the year, Runtime Error engage in a race against time to produce three more albums. Previously called 'Time for Shit' due to a typo, left unchecked due to the rush.

Routes
Runtime Remasters Sxcbwl

Needing to get to the recording studio before the end of the month, Bran cannot find it on his map. Jakey and Eif have a slap fight in the backseat over whose turn it is to have the window seat. Previously called 'Roots'.

Worth Your Weight in Runes
Runtime Remasters 209g5mf

Out of time and ideas, the band decided to let oft-forgotten bandmate Svart have an entire album to himself. Svart called in his friend, Crusher, to help record the album. Unfortunately, Crusher was killed in a crushing accident the next day.

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