Columbus Day Special 2013

COLUMBUS DAY SPECIAL AND SHIT:
"i'm TELLING you the earth is ROUND" "LOOK AT A GODDAMN MAP" "YOU KNOW I HAVE A DISEASE WHICH PREVENTS ME FROM NOT BEING UNABLE TO READ MAPS" "WHAT THAT'S NOT A THING" "IT TOTALLY IS" "NO IT ISN'T I'M A DOCTOR" "YEAH A SHIT DOCTOR" Bran reels back in horror. "TAKE THAT BACK" "okay yeah that was a bit harsh" "thank you" "so can you fund my expedition now" "sure why not"
"oh yeah look at this ship, it is so ship-like in every conceivable way" "everything is... ship-shape" "..." "..." "you're fired" "aw" Michelle walks away, dejected. "COME ON LET'S SAIL TO INDIA" "india?! i thought we were going to disneyworld" "yeah that's not what i signed up for" "boo" "mutiny mutiny" The crew performs a mutiny, throwing Eif overboard. "I REGRET NOTHING" "TO DISNEYWORLD" Jakey sets sail for Disneyworld with his crew.
"HELLO DISNEYWORLD" "i can't wait to ride the log flume" "i can't wait to ride the rollercoasters" "i can't wait to ride the men dressed in giant mickey mouse costumes" "wait where is cinderella's castle" "where are the overpriced souvenir items" "this isn't disneyworld it's just a village full of red people" "GODDAMMIT JAKEY" "YOU ARE THE WORST CAPTAIN EVER" "mutiny mutiny" The crew performs a mutiny, throwing Jakey overboard. "I REGRET a lot of things actually" "TO DISNEYWORLD" Taylor sets sail for Disneyworld with his crew.
"HELLO DISNEYWORLD" "i can't wait to ride the tea cups" "i can't wait to ride the lightning" "i can't wait to ride the men dressed in giant princess ballgowns" "wait where is the park mascot, disney duck" "where are the overpriced photo opportunities with beloved childhood favourites" "this isn't disneyworld it's just A HARLEQUIN FOETUS KNIGHT"
Sheriff Antony twirls his revolvers. "heh" Bran launches the harlequin foetus knight into the air, and Sheriff Antony shoots it with his revolvers. Taylor leaps into the air and impales the harlequin foetus knight. Taylor leaps off, and Tony runs at the harlequin foetus knight, sword dragging across the floor, and releases it into a deadly spiral of energy. The harlequin foetus knight is launched into the air, and Michelle leaps at it and kicks it at a wall. Amiee :3 makes pastry for Jakey and Eif as they play Strip Parcheesi. "so like" "yeah?" "what now" "well according to protocol, one of us has to get his/her powers now" "but i already have them" "play along you you not-very-cool guy" "TAKE THAT BACK" "okay yeah that was mean" "OKAY" Jakey runs around aimlessly and gets struck by a bolt of electricity. Electricity shoots from Jakey's left hand and obliterates the harlequin foetus knight. "wow nice job jakey" "yeah you're pretty cool" "you mean it?!" "no" "fuck"