Jakeyrella

CHAPTOUR ONE:
"CLEAN THIS SHIT UP NIGGA" "YEAH DOG IT'S GOTTA BE SPOTLESS WHILE WE'RE AT THE ANNUAL TABLE TRADE SHOW" "man i want to go to the annual table trade show" A single tear streams down Jakey's face. "i fucking love tables" Eif slaps Jakey across the face. "CLEAN THIS SHIT UP" Eif slams the door. "well at least i have your company, chip" Jakey stares fondly at a potato chip. "oh man chip you're a riot" Jakey cocks his head to the side. "what? you made me a fancy tuxedo to wear to the annual table trade show?! you shouldn't have!!!" Jakey dons his new tuxedo. "oh thank you chip" Jakey embraces Chip. Eif slams open the door. "WHAT IS THIS" Eif rips off Jakey's sleeves. "good call; this looks great as a vest" Eif rips off the rest of the tuxedo. "shit” "YOU ARE NOT GOING TO THE ANNUAL TABLE TRADE SHOW" Eif slams the door on Jakey, and he and Bran hop into their sweet-ass sports car and drive to the Annual Table Trade Show.

CHAPTOUR TWO:
"man i am so done" Jakey ties a noose around a support beam. "WAIT DON’T" "don’t try to stop me now chip i- wait you’re not chip" "I AM YOUR FAIRY GODMOTHER" "oh cool nice to meet you well if you don’t mind-" "no wait i will TOTALLY get you to the annual table trade show" "go on" "BIP BIP BOOP MOTHERFUCKER" Jakey’s ripped tuxedo turns into a long, flowing ballgown. "uh" "oops wrong spell" Amiee :3 waves her wand around a bit more, and Jakey’s ballgown turns into a nice pettycoat. "sweet" "also i have arranged transport" Jakey looks out the window to see a large pineapple. "uh that’s a fruit" "IT IS ALSO YOUR RIDE NOW GO GO" "thanks bro!!!" "ALSO you have to be back by midnight or all of this will disappear" "BUT THAT’S WHEN THEY REVEAL THE BEST TABLES" "shrug" Jakey hops into his pineapple and rides to the Annual Table Trade Show.

CHAPTOUR THREE:
"hello and welcome to the annual table trade show; i am james hetfield" "hello james hetfield; where is this year’s table" "I AM THE TABLE" "uh" "I AM THE TABLE" "o-okay dude" James Hetfield sets himself up, and Jakey sits at him. "wow you’re the perfect height" Jakey sets his Mountain Dew on James Hetfield. A bell is heard. "OH NO MIDNIGHT" Jakey runs away, leaving his drink behind. "WAIT YOU FORGOT YOUR DRINK"

CHAPTOUR FOUR:
"i want a NATION-WIDE SEARCH for the owner of this soft drink" "but it could be any-" "it’s mountain dew" "oh" Lars Ulrich sweats. "i-" "please; it is important to me to find the man who was such a good sitting-at-a-table... guy" "oh come on; anyone can sit at a table" James Hetfield sets himself up, and Lars Ulrich sits down at him. "ow my knees" "SEE" "i’ll get right on that, sir"

CHAPTOUR FIVE:
"well chip i guess it just wasn’t meant to be" "HELLO SIRS WE ARE GOING THROUGH THE NATION TRYING TO FIND WHOSE DRINK THIS IS" Lars Ulrich hands Eif the can of Mountain Dew. Eif takes a sip, and his internal organs rupture. Bran takes a sip, and his internal organs rupture, also. "WAIT WAIT FOR ME" Jakey slides down the bannister. "it was me" Jakey grabs the Mountain Dew and chugs. "oh dear come with me" Lars Ulrich leads Jakey to James Hetfield, who sets himself up. Jakey sits down and puts his feet up on James Hetfield.
THE END