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HEY MISTER CAN WE HAVE OUR BALL BACK

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HEY MISTER CAN WE HAVE OUR BALL BACK
 
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 Another Thing (2014)

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Jakeyadventure
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Number of posts : 7687
Age : 23
Favourite Band : Nirvana
Registration date : 2007-12-29

PostSubject: Re: Another Thing (2014)   Wed May 29, 2013 11:06 pm

Mission 075: Searching Far and Wide [Adam Lambert]
"FINALLY I AM OUT OF VICTORY ROAD" "NOPE" "FUCK" Adam Lambert hides his face in his hands. "look can't we just say you win and call it a day" "but i have an entirely new team i want to show off" "what" "well i decided it's not fun if i beat you all the time so i caught completely new Pokémon and haven't even evolved them" "uh fine" Adam Lambert sends out Sceptile, and Jakey sends out Ho-Oh, who blasts Sceptile with scared fire. "..." "..." "jakey why" Adam Lambert sends out Milotic, but Jakey counters with Mewtwo. "jakey pls" Adam Lambert sends out Froslass, but Giratina is there to out-ghost it. "jakey i hate you so much" Adam Lambert sends out Snorlax, but Deoxys is there to pound it into submission. "how did you even find these" "shrug" Adam Lambert sends out Togekiss, but Latios sends it crashing to Earth. "jakey come on this is just stupid" "you sound mad" Adam Lambert sends out his final Pokémon, Gallade, but Jakey sends out Groudon, who causes an earthquake. The cave mouth collapses between Jakey and Adam Lambert. "HAVE FUN GETTING TO THE Pokémon LEAGUE NOW" "I FUCKING HATE YOU" Michelle crawls out of the collapsed cave mouth. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/Deoxys/Groudon/Mewtwo/Latios/Giratina/Ho-Oh]
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Jakeyadventure
apple computers


Male
Number of posts : 7687
Age : 23
Favourite Band : Nirvana
Registration date : 2007-12-29

PostSubject: Re: Another Thing (2014)   Wed May 29, 2013 11:06 pm

Mission 076: Each Pokémon to Understand [Adam Lambert]
"FINALLY I HAVE DEFEATED THE ELITE FOUR AND NOW GET TO FACE THE CHAMPION" "sup" "JAKEY?!" "in the flesh" "b-but i you" "GET OUT YOUR BALLS AND LET'S GO" "no fuck this" Adam Lambert turns around, but the exit has been sealed behind him. "..." Jakey stands in front of Adam Lambert, smiling. "i give up" Adam Lambert hands his Pokémon to Jakey and whites out. "now what" Michelle enters through the challenger's door. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/Sceptile/Togekiss/Froslass/Milotic/Gallade/Snorlax/champion belt]
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Jakeyadventure
apple computers


Male
Number of posts : 7687
Age : 23
Favourite Band : Nirvana
Registration date : 2007-12-29

PostSubject: Re: Another Thing (2014)   Wed May 29, 2013 11:06 pm

Mission 077: The Power That's Inside [Adam Lambert]
"at least jakey won't bother me he-" "HEY ADAM LAMBERT WHAT'S UP" "GODDAMMIT" "what's up" "aren't you supposed to be defending your title" "nah my team is doing it for me" "at least you aren't a frontier brain" "pffyeah right keep thinking that" "goddammit" Adam Lambert battles his way through the battle pike. "HEY BRO WHAT'S UP" "FUCK" Adam Lambert sends out Tyranitar, whipping up a sandstorm. "good job all my Pokémon are STEEL-TYPE" Jakey sends out Metagross, who breaks Tyranitar with his steel fists. "jakey why" Adam Lambert sends out Weeaboo Man, who Lucario takes care of easily. "fucking battle frontier" Adam Lambert sends out Torterra, but Jakey counters with Empoleon, who freezes Torterra out. "goddammit" "try again later" Adam Lambert decides to fight through the battle factory next. "SUP" "WHY ARE YOU TWO FRONTIER BRAINS" "two? try seven" "ARGH" "but hey at least i had to pick my Pokémon from the stock" "yeah i might have a-" Jakey sends out Arceus. "..." "..." "i'm out" Adam Lambert leaps out the window of the battle factory. Michelle rides around in the bucket filled with molten metal. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/Metagross/Lucario/Empoleon/frontier brain frontier pass appears at safehouses]
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Jakeyadventure
apple computers


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Number of posts : 7687
Age : 23
Favourite Band : Nirvana
Registration date : 2007-12-29

PostSubject: Re: Another Thing (2014)   Wed May 29, 2013 11:06 pm

Mission 078: I Saw Mommy Kissing Hanukkah Guy [Hanukkah Guy]
"jakey you need to help me figure out the true meaning of hanukkah" "i have an idea; let's poll random people on the street" "good idea" "HELLO SIR SIR sir what is the true meaning of hanukkah" "uh" Professor Eif sweats. "i uh well uh HEY LOOK OVER THERE" Jakey and Hanukkah Guy turn away while Professor Eif runs off. "hey where'd he go" "probably to cure his sick mother's horrible disease" "oh rip" "SIR HEY YOU SIR sir what is the true meaning of hanukkah" "it is better to give than to receive?" "that's christmas" "oh um" Sheriff Antony shrugs. "how will we ever solve this mystery now" "..." "I SAID HOW WILL WE EVER SOLVE THIS MYSTERY NOW" A taxi stops beside Jakey and Erin hops out. "I'M HERE GUYS I'M HERE" Erin pants uncontrollably. "erin do you know what the true meaning of hanukkah is" "oh that's easy, it's a celebration of the victory of the hanukks over the romans in the war of 1976" "oh" "well that was easy" "let's go get some ramen noodles!!!" "can't we get rice balls instead" "even better" Erin and Hanukkah Guy hop into the taxi. Michelle hops out of the taxi. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/Professor Eif missions/Sheriff Antony missions]
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Jakeyadventure
apple computers


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Number of posts : 7687
Age : 23
Favourite Band : Nirvana
Registration date : 2007-12-29

PostSubject: Re: Another Thing (2014)   Wed May 29, 2013 11:06 pm

Mission 079: All I Really Need is Stu [Stu]
"jakey i have devised a foolproof plan to get a gamecube in this hotel room" "we could always buy one at gamestop" "we'll call that plan b" "but if plan a is foolproof why would we nee-" "JAKEY SILENCE THIS PLAN IS FOOLPROOF IN ITS SIMPLICITY" "o-okay" "first leap out this window" "we're fifty storeys up" "you're immune to physical harm" "THAT DOESN'T STOP IT FROM BEING VERY PAINFUL" "man jakey i thought you were cool" "sigh" Jakey leaps out the window, splattering on the pavement below. Jakey's body then reforms itself. "geronimo" Stu also leaps out the window, but uses a parachute. "WHY DIDN'T I GET A PARACHUTE" "i only had the one" "COULDN'T I JUST HOLD ONTO YOU OR SOMETHING" "jakey that is really gay" "sigh" "NOW TO NINTENDO HEADQUARTERS" The Stu symbol flashes on-screen. "WHY COULDN'T WE HAVE DONE THAT TO START WITH" "jakey i am seriously tired of your shit right now" "hello how may i help you today" "kathy i would like a tour of nintendo headquarters" "sorry but we only serve tours before 10AM" "WHO IS EVEN AWAKE THEN" "shrug" Stu mopes off. "hello i am crazy svart i am going over here now" Crazy Svart wanders off as Stu ducks into a vent. Jakey follows, and the two find the GameCube store room. "QUICK SHOVEL AS MANY GAMECUBES AS YOU CAN INTO YOUR PANTS" Jakey and Stu grab a shitload of GameCubes, then run into The Motherfucker and fly home. Michelle pops out of a GameCube's disc tray. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/GameCubes appear at safehouses/Crazy Svart missions]
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Jakeyadventure
apple computers


Male
Number of posts : 7687
Age : 23
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Registration date : 2007-12-29

PostSubject: Re: Another Thing (2014)   Wed May 29, 2013 11:06 pm

Mission 080: Where Did Stu Sleep Last Night? [Stu]
"stu what are you doing" "making chocolate pudding" "it's four o'clock in the morning why on earth are you making chocolate pudding" "i refuse to be written out because i have my conflict resolved" "you don't mean-" "i've lost control of my life" "goddammit stu you had one job" "i guess i need another character arc to get it back" "stu i can't deal with this now" "oh don't worry you can come back when i do something silly while you're on a job for someone else and we can sort this out" Stu waves as Jakey slams the door behind him. Michelle storms out of Stu's room and slams the door behind her. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/chocolate pudding appears at safehouses]
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Jakeyadventure
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Male
Number of posts : 7687
Age : 23
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Registration date : 2007-12-29

PostSubject: Re: Another Thing (2014)   Wed May 29, 2013 11:07 pm

Mission 081: Detection [Professor Eif]
"jakey there is a detective here" "what is he doing" "detecting" "oh dear" "well it looks to me like there has been a murder in your lab" "WHAT" Professor Eif heads for his lab, but Detective Boo Radley stops him. "i'm afraid i can't let you in; detectives only" Professor Eif stands on his toes. "damn my lack of verticality" "wait detective i am totally also a detective" "if you are a detective then where is your detective's badge" Jakey searches his pants. "uh here" "detective jakey?! you are a legend in detection" "thanks" "i thought you'd retired" "i got better" "come right this way" Detective Boo Radley leads Jakey to the crime scene, where Kathy is waiting. "OH NO BRAD" Jakey falls to his knees and cradles the shards of Brad in his arms. "the criminal broke this window to get to our victim" "TWO VICTIMS?!" "uh detective jakey it's just a window" "..." "..." "JUST a window?!" Jakey stands up and presses his face to Detective Boo Radley's. "IT IS YOUR DUTY AS A DETECTIVE TO MAKE SURE THAT NO ONE IS HARMED; YOUR BLATANT RACISM IS NOT HELPING YOUR CASE" "but it-" "HE WAS AN UPSTANDING CITIZEN; I WON'T HAVE YOU USE YOUR RACISM TO HURT HIS REPUTATION IN DEATH" "b-" "YOU'RE FIRED" "but you're not my-" Jakey calls Sting. "hey sting can i fire one of your detectives" "only if you get me one of equal or lesser value in return" "deal" Jakey hangs up. "detective boo radley you're fired" Boo Radley stands, shocked, before running off, many single tears working their way down his face. "who will replace him" "it's a mystery" "MYSTERY?!" Erin falls from the chimney. "oh yeah you're fine" "wooh" "so who was the other victim" "uh he's right ov-" Kathy turns to find an outline. "that's odd" "?" "he's disappeared" "oh cool; less work for us" "yeah now all we have to do is track down brad's murderer and everything will be all right" "i think it was that disgraced detective; he was awfully racist" "good idea" Jakey runs towards the log Boo Radley is sitting on, and tackles him. "YOU'RE UNDER ARREST" "on what grounds" "uh the ones we're standing on" "b-" "YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT" "but-" "I SAID SILENT" "b-" "SILENT" "..." Jakey handcuffs Boo Radley and chucks him into the nearby criminal depository. Michelle climbs out of the criminal depository. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/handcuff t-shirt/Sting missions]
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Jakeyadventure
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Number of posts : 7687
Age : 23
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Registration date : 2007-12-29

PostSubject: Re: Another Thing (2014)   Wed May 29, 2013 11:07 pm

Mission 082: Dejection [Professor Eif]
"we are gathered here today to pay respect to our dearly departed friend, brad" A single tear streams down Professor Eif's cheek. "he was an inspiration to us all, a model citizen and a survivor of many battles with careless, or even downright malicious cleaning ladies" Professor Eif blows his nose. "brad meant a lot to us all, and in the end, was always there for us" Brad's coffin begins to lower into the ground. "rest in peace, brad; the best friend anyone could ever hope for" Brad's coffin begins to be covered in dirt as Jakey steps down, done with the eulogy. Everyone marches over to the table to eat Brad's favourite food, eggs benedict, in his honour. "wow these are some really good eggs" "i'm so glad we got chef amiee :3 to cater" Michelle claws her way out of her grave. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/funeral suit/eggs benedict t-shirt]
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Jakeyadventure
apple computers


Male
Number of posts : 7687
Age : 23
Favourite Band : Nirvana
Registration date : 2007-12-29

PostSubject: Re: Another Thing (2014)   Wed May 29, 2013 11:07 pm

Mission 083: Defection [Professor Eif]
"jakey we have to find who did this to brad" "but i already did and he is in jail" "WHAT" "i'm a cop it-" "JAKEY DUE PROCESS WILL LET HIM GO FREE OR SOMETHING" "but alabamanian law is structur-" "FUCK OFF JAKEY" "no" "FUCK" "look why don't we just wait it out and see what the alabamanian courts say" "TOO RISKY; SOMETHING MUST BE DONE NOW" "b-" "JAKEY YOU ARE EITHER IN THIS WITH ME OR YOU ARE A LIABILITY AND MUST ALSO BE KILLED" "how would you go about doing that" "LIKE THIS" Professor Eif stabs Jakey with his knife. Jakey stands perfectly still and cocks his head to the side. "goddammit jakey" "it's not my fault you have small girly wrists" "jakey just let's go" Jakey and Professor Eif hop into The Motherfucker, and head to Alabama National High-Security Prison. "okay first we will climb the building an-" Jakey walks through the front door. "hey jakey" "what's up jakey" "looking good jakey" "having a knife sticking out of your chest is a good look for you jakey" "thanks" Jakey and Professor Eif walk to the solitary confinement area, and open Boo Radley's cell. "oh is it lunch time already" "uh sure" Jakey and Professor Eif lead Boo Radley down the hall. "is it meatloaf day?!" "yeah, it is" "yesssssssss" "just sit here and we will get you your meal shortly" Boo Radley sits in the electric chair. Jakey and Professor Eif sneak over to the lever, and pull it, sending a large number of volts through Boo Radley's body, killing him. "WELL I'M GLAD THAT'S OVER" Professor Eif dusts off his hands and walks out of the prison. Jakey then uses the pentagram app on his phone. "hello jakey what's up" "i want some meatloaf" "oh okay" Satan summons some meatloaf for the two to eat. "what about that guy" "he's kind of dead" "should i revive him" "do what you want" Satan revives Boo Radley, and the three feast on meatloaf. Michelle falls from a ceiling vent. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/meatloaf t-shirt]
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Jakeyadventure
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Number of posts : 7687
Age : 23
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Registration date : 2007-12-29

PostSubject: Re: Another Thing (2014)   Wed May 29, 2013 11:07 pm

Mission 084: Won't Get Fooled Again [Sheriff Antony]
"jakey there is a group of ADOLESCENTS causing a RUCKUS" "DAMN THOSE RUFFIANS" "let's show them the error of their ways" Jakey pulls out his gun. "yessssss" Jakey and Sheriff Antony hop into The Motherfucker and head downtown. "STOP ADOLESCENTS YOU ARE CAUSING A RUCKUS" "don't cry" "don't raise your eye" "it's only teenage wasteland" "fuck off teenagers" "no" "fuck" "what are you ruffians even doing here" "OUT HERE IN THE FIELDS, I FIGHT FOR MY MEALS" "i get my back into my living" "what living" "is this like one of those things where you complain about police brutality" "no" "GOOD because that totally doesn't exist" "but it does though" "FIGHT ME" "i don't need to fight to prove i'm right" "0/10" "dammit" "hey look over there" Jakey looks to his left, and the teenagers start running away. "I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU FOR THIS" "I DON'T NEED TO BE FORGIVEN" Jakey and Sheriff Antony hop into The Motherfucker and chase after the teenagers. "NO FAIR" "DON'T CRY" "DON'T RAISE YOUR EYE" "IT'S ONLY TEENAGE WASTELAND" "ouch he got you good" "damn you jakey" Jakey runs over the teenagers. "ouch" "pain" "help" "oh they'll get you all the help you need IN YOUR NICE WARM JAIL CELL" "nooooooo" "who will take care of teenage wasteland while we're gone" "don't worry i'll put a starbucks here" "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" Sheriff Antony drags the teenagers into his van and rides off. Michelle crawls from the wreckage of Teenage Wasteland. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/Teenage Wasteland t-shirt/Teenage Wasteland safehouse]
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Jakeyadventure
apple computers


Male
Number of posts : 7687
Age : 23
Favourite Band : Nirvana
Registration date : 2007-12-29

PostSubject: Re: Another Thing (2014)   Wed May 29, 2013 11:08 pm

Mission 085: Bargain [Sheriff Antony]
"jakey how do we build a starbucks" "we don't" "but you sa-" "we're going to buy one from the store" "but aren't things more satisfying when you do them yourself" "0/10" "dammit" Jakey and Sheriff Antony hop into The Motherfucker and head to Starbucksez Я Us. Shopkeepour stands behind the counter, admiring a portrait of the inventor of Starbucks, Ken Starbucks. "we'd like one starbucks" "to be put where" "teenage wasteland" "uh you mean baba o'riley?" "fuck off shopkeepour" "no" "fuck" "okay we will deliver this starbucks to baba o'rile-" "TEENAGE WASTELAND YOU UNEDUCATED ASSHOLE" "LET ME FINISH YOU IDIOT WE WILL DELIVER THIS STARBUCKS TO BABA O'RILEY, AT 113 FIELDS ST., TEENAGE WASTELAND, ALABAMA" "oh" Jakey coughs. "yeah" Shopkeepour sends a Starbucks to Teenage Wasteland. "we're all wasted" Michelle rides in on the conveyor belt. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/Starbucks t-shirt]
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Jakeyadventure
apple computers


Male
Number of posts : 7687
Age : 23
Favourite Band : Nirvana
Registration date : 2007-12-29

PostSubject: Re: Another Thing (2014)   Wed May 29, 2013 11:08 pm

Mission 086: Going Mobile [Sheriff Antony]
"jakey i am getting a call from baba o'riley asking what the fuck is happening" "oh dear" "we'd better go see him" Jakey and Sheriff Antony hop into The Motherfucker and head to Teenage Wasteland. "baba o'riley what is wrong" "STRANGE THINGS ARE HAPPENING AND I DON'T LIKE THEM" "such as" "THIS WEIRD STARBUCKS THING" "oh that" "that's just a corporation that sells coffee" "coff-what" "it's a beverage that tastes absolutely horrible that people love" "what kind of sick person would drink something like that" "prosecutors" "jakey stop making jokes only you will understand" "but then there would be no jokes" "good point" "anything else while we're here baba o'riley" "well my sink is clogged" "NOT IT" "dammit jakey" Sheriff Antony shuffles off to unclog Baba O'Riley's sink, his head hung. Sheriff Antony pulls Michelle from the drain. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/Godot t-shirt/Baba O'Riley missions]
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Jakeyadventure
apple computers


Male
Number of posts : 7687
Age : 23
Favourite Band : Nirvana
Registration date : 2007-12-29

PostSubject: Re: Another Thing (2014)   Wed May 29, 2013 11:08 pm

Mission 087: But Maybe I'm Crazy [Crazy Svart]
"WELCOME TO THE GRAND OPENING OF MY NEW SHOP, CRAZY SVART'S USED Pokémon" "oh wow" "jakey man the register" "can do" Jakey hops behind the register as a man walks in, his arms full of Pokeorbs. "I WOULD LIKE TO TRADE IN THESE LEVEL 100 EV-TRAINED GARCHOMPS" "let me see th-" "NO THEY ARE GARCHOMPS STOP NOT BELIEVING ME" "i believe you less and less the longer this takes" "okay fine they're not level 100, or ev-trained" The man sweats. "or garchomps" "then wha-" The man drops a Pokeorb on the counter, bringing out a level 5 Magikarp. "uh" "they are all level 5 magikarps" "well i can't actually buy these" "what why not" "because we don't accept trash" "WHAT IN FIFTEEN LEVELS THEY WILL BE UNSTOPPABLE GYARADOSES" "but the time and effort required to do that makes the expense not actually worth it" "goddamn you, you fucking capitalist" "thank you come again" The man storms off. "sir you forgot your-" The man's tyres screech as he races out of the parking lot. "hey jakey how's-" Crazy Svart sees the Magikarp flopping around on the counter. "welp" "don't worry i have a plan" Jakey dumps the Magikarps into a box that says "FREE" and puts them out by the side of the road. Michelle grabs the box of Magikarps. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/Magikarp]
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Jakeyadventure
apple computers


Male
Number of posts : 7687
Age : 23
Favourite Band : Nirvana
Registration date : 2007-12-29

PostSubject: Re: Another Thing (2014)   Wed May 29, 2013 11:08 pm

Mission 088: Maybe You're Crazy [Crazy Svart]
"hello clerk i am here to sell a shiny garchomp" "let's see it" The man throws his Pokeorb at the floor, causing the room to fill with sparks and shines, and a Garchomp to pop out. "SIR WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO PULL HERE" "... ?" "THIS IS A REGULAR GARCHOMP" "wha-no it isn-" "LOOK AT THE DAMN THING" Jakey pulls out a Pokeorb containing another Garchomp. "THEY LOOK EXACTLY THE SAME" "but how do you explain the sparks" "defective pokeorb" "but this really is a shin-" "NO IT ISN'T YOU COLOSSAL RETARD" "bu-" "GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY STORE" The man and his Garchomp slink away with their heads hung low. Jakey returns to his filing and accidentally drops a Pokeorb, causing Michelle to pop out. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/Garchomp]
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Jakeyadventure
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Number of posts : 7687
Age : 23
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Registration date : 2007-12-29

PostSubject: Re: Another Thing (2014)   Wed May 29, 2013 11:09 pm

Mission 089: Maybe We're Crazy [Crazy Svart]
"hello clerk i am here to sell a shiny garchomp" "wait you aren't that last guy are you" "did this 'last guy' have such a sweet moustache" "no he didn't; okay show me what you've got" The man drops his Pokeorb on the floor, causing the room to fill with sparks and shines, and a Garchomp dripping with pink paint pops out. "NOW THIS IS A SHINY GARCHOMP" Jakey admires the shiny Garchomp. "how much you want for it" "how much will you give me" "that depends; how much do you want for it" "that depends; how much will you give me" "that depends; how much do you want for it" "that depends; how much will you give me" "that depends; how much do you want for it" "that depends; how much will you give me" "that depends; how much do you want for it" "that depends; how much will you give me" "that depends; how much do you want for it" "that depends; how much will you give me" "that depends; how much do you want for it" "that depends; how much will you give me" "that depends; how much do you want for it" "that depends; how much will you give me" "that depends; how much do you want for it" "that depends; how much will you give me" "that depends; how much do you want for it" "that depends; how much will you give me" "that depends; how much do you want for it" "that depends; how much will you give me" "that depends; how much do you want for it" "that depends; how much will you give me" "that depends; how much do you want for it" "that depends; how much will you give me" "that depends; how much do you want for it" "that depends; how much will you give me" "that depends; how much do you want for it" "that depends; how much will you give me" "that depends; how much do you want for it" "that depends; how much will you give me" "that depends; how much do you want for it" "that depends; how much will you give me" "that depends; how much do you want for it" "that depends; how much will you give me" "that depends; how much do you want for it" "that depends; how much will you give me" "that depends; how much do you want for it" "that depends; how much will you give me" "that depends; how much do you want for it" "that depends; how much will you give me" "that depends; how much do you want for it" "that depends; how much will you give me" "that depends; how much do you want for it" "that depends; how much will you give me" "that depends; how much do you want for it" "that depends; how much will you give me" "that depends; how much do you want for it" "that depends; how much will you give me" "that depends; how much do you want for it" "that depends; how much will you give me" "i'll give you fifty alabama fun bux" "deal" Jakey and the man shake hands and Jakey gives the man his money and prominently displays the shiny Garchomp in the store. Michelle exits the backroom with a crate of Luxrays hidden under her shirt. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/Luxray]
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Jakeyadventure
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Male
Number of posts : 7687
Age : 23
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Registration date : 2007-12-29

PostSubject: Re: Another Thing (2014)   Wed May 29, 2013 11:09 pm

Mission 090: Probably [Crazy Svart]
"jakey we just got in a shipment of eevees" "oh boy" "whatever you do DO NOT let them get near my stock of evolution stones; they are worth more unevolved" "got it" Crazy Svart leaves the room, and the Eevees instantly stampede toward the evolution stones. "NO WAIT NO" Jakey dives in front of the Eevees, but they climb over him. "DAMMIT" Jakey rolls into the large pile of evolution stones and hastily constructs a wooden barrier. The Eevees begin clawing at the barrier, trying to get to the evolution stones. Jakey dives behind the barrier and begins piling evolution stones on high tables, but the Eevees begin gnawing on the legs of the tables. "OH NO" Jakey drops a few evolution stones, causing three of the Eevees to evolve. "FUCK SHIT NO FUCK" "hey jakey i'm ba-" Crazy Svart looks around the room at the chaos. "... why didn't you just put them back in their pokeorbs" "..." "..." "fuck you" "jakey i do not appreciate that tone of voice; i was just getting you your employee appreciation gift" "oh" Jakey sweats as Crazy Svart hands him his gift. "uh thanks" Crazy Svart packs up the Eevees and Jakey opens his gift, revealing a box of pre-evolved Eevees and Michelle. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/Jolteon/Vapoureon/Flareon/Espeon/Umbreon/Leafeon/Glaceon]
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PostSubject: Re: Another Thing (2014)   Wed May 29, 2013 11:10 pm

Mission 091: Can't Stand Losing You [Sting]
"jakey we have a missing person have you seen him" Sting hands Jakey a picture of a man wearing red and white stripes. "white... stripes... maybe it's jack white" "no we found him last week" "oh" "jakey i want you on MANWATCH for this... man" "GOT IT" Jakey heads to Manwatch Tower and searches high and low after setting up a radio to talk to Sting. "keep your eyes peeled; he could be anywhere" Jakey gets out a potato-peeler and begins working on his eyes. "OH SHIT THERE HE IS" Jakey leaps over the side of Manwatch Tower and grabs the hangglider on top of Manwatch Tower with his hookshot. Jakey grabs the hangglider and glides out to the man he saw. "HEY YOU" "..." "YOU WITH THE STRIPES" "..." "YOU'RE UNDER ARREST FOR BEING MISSING" Jakey grabs the man, but the man winks and dissolves in front of Jakey's eyes. "WHA" Sting rides up to Jakey on his tricycle. "damn we almost had him" Sting throws his hat at the ground. Michelle rises out of the ground under Sting's hat. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/Sting's hat]
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PostSubject: Re: Another Thing (2014)   Wed May 29, 2013 11:10 pm

Mission 092: No Time This Time [Sting]
"JAKEY THE MISSING MAN HAS ESCAPED INTO THE TIME STREAM; YOU MUST GO BACK TO THE DISTANT PAST TO RETRIEVE HIM" "how distant" "2011" Jakey recoils in horror. "jakey you must do it for the good of the land" "if i must" Jakey hops into Sting's time machine and heads back to 2011. "excuse me sir what year is it" ">2011 >not knowing what year it is I seriously hope you guys don't do this." "okay have you seen this man" Jakey holds up a picture of the missing man. ">2011 >searching for a missing person I seriously hope you guys don't do this." "OH SHIT THERE HE IS" Jakey runs after the man, who escapes into the crowd. ">2011 >announcing your intent to capture I seriously hope you guys don't do this." Jakey shoves his way through the crowd, never losing sight of the red and white-striped cap. Jakey climbs onto a street vendor and runs across countertops before he tackles the man in the red and white-striped cap. "hello" "goddammit jack white what is your problem" "my problem?! you totally just tackled me bro" "fuck off jack white" "no" "fuck" Jakey looks all around, but doesn't find his target. "goddammit" Michelle pops up from a pile of watermelons. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/red and white-striped cap]
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PostSubject: Re: Another Thing (2014)   Wed May 29, 2013 11:10 pm

Mission 093: Contact [Sting]
"jakey we have devised one final gambit to catch our missing man" "tell me the gambit" "we have made him really angry" "how so" "we slept with his girlfriend, ran over his dog, and supported his arch-rival's campaign for the presidency" "he must be pissed" "i would hope so" "oh shit there he is" Jakey and Sting hide under a table. "we've found him" "DON'T FUCK THIS UP JAKEY" "i-i won't" The man walks up to the door of The Police Station and nails a note to the door. Jakey uses this opportunity to push the table out the window onto the man's head. "MOVE MOVE MOVE" Jakey leaps from the window, and lands on the broken table. "where did... ?" "goddammit we lost him" "at least we have the not-... where did the note go" "goddammit" Sting hangs his head in shame and locks himself in his bedroom. Michelle crawls out from under the remains of the table. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/wanted posters appear at safehouses]
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Jakeyadventure
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PostSubject: Re: Another Thing (2014)   Wed May 29, 2013 11:10 pm

Mission 094: Demolition Man [Sting]
"jakey sting won't come out of his room" Jakey knocks on Sting's door. "hey sting are you going to come out any time soon i mean your dinner's getting cold" "go away" "i'll let you eat extra death by vanilla ice cream for dessert" "go away" "man he is really in deep" "how will we get him out" "with this" "A BOMB" "uh yeah" Jakey plants bombs on all of Sting's room's support beams while JC Denton stands still with his mouth agape. Jakey detonates all of the bombs, and Sting falls out of his room. "goddammit jakey" "now sit down and eat your dinner" Sting shuffles off to the dinner table while Michelle feeds all of her broccoli to the dog. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/broccoli t-shirt]
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Jakeyadventure
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Registration date : 2007-12-29

PostSubject: Re: Another Thing (2014)   Wed May 29, 2013 11:10 pm

Mission 095: Out Here in the Fields [Baba O'Riley]
"jakey i can't take the fact that people enjoy such horrible beverages" "come with me i know how we can make you feel better" Jakey and Baba O'Riley hop into The Motherfucker and head to Therapyz Я Us, located between two Starbuckses. Shopkeepour motions the two in. "hello i'd like to buy the big bucket o' therapy for my friend" Shopkeepour nods and sets Baba O'Riley down in the Big Bucket o' Therapy. "now what's your problem" "i can't handle the fact that people actually enjoy coffee" "have you ever tried coffee" "no but i've heard that it's awful" "maybe you should try it for yourself" "i'd... rather not" "it appears to me that you have anxiety over trying new things" "why would i buy a new thing i might not like when i know i enjoy a different thing" "but what if you enjoy the new thing more" "that never happens" "give me an example" "i remember one time the vending machine was out of freshing pepsi-cola so i bought a royal crown cola instead and it was horrible" "well nothing can beat the cool freshing taste of pepsi cola" "see" Shopkeepour grabs his stamp and stamps the word "SANE" on Baba O'Riley's forehead. "wooh" Michelle walks into Therapyz Я Us drinking her Starbucks coffee. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/Big Bucket o' Therapy appears at safehouses/Sane t-shirt]
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PostSubject: Re: Another Thing (2014)   Wed May 29, 2013 11:10 pm

Mission 096: I Fight for My Meals [Baba O'Riley]
"jakey let's take in a show" "good idea" Jakey and Baba O'Riley hop into The Motherfucker and head to the Performers' Guild Hall. "WELCOME TONIGHT WE WILL BE SHOWING A SHOW FULL OF MYSTERY A-" "MYSTERY?!" Erin falls from the stage lights. "uh yeah" "where" "on this stage as soon as you get off of it" "... okay" Erin sits down next to Jakey and Baba O'Riley. "FULL OF MYSTERY AND SUSPENSE; WELCOME EVERYONE'S FAVOURITE MAGICIAN, THE GREAT CHERYL" "hello" "hello the great cheryl" "i will need a volunteer to work my MAGIC on" "OOH ME ME ME" "you there; the lady next to the big scary guy" "i'm a boy" "sure whatever" Jakey hops up onstage. "what is your name madam" "... sir, you mean" "sure" "my name is jakey" "lay down in this box, hank" "jakey" "sure whatever" Jakey lays down on a table and The Great Cheryl covers him in a box. "NOW I WILL DEFY DEATH ITSELF BY SAWING THIS WOMAN IN HALF" "but i-" "fuck off gerald" "no" "fuck" The Great Cheryl saws Jakey in half, and wheels away his torso. His legs, however, fly at his torso and merge. "... ta-da?" "wooh yeah" "the great cheryl is the best" "NOW FOR MY FINAL TRICK" The Great Cheryl runs in front of Michelle and causes her to levitate. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/The Great Cheryl t-shirt/The Great Cheryl missions]
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PostSubject: Re: Another Thing (2014)   Wed May 29, 2013 11:10 pm

Mission 097: Strange Magic [The Great Cheryl]
"jeffrey i am out of my most important spell component" "uh it's jakey" "whatever; just go get me some buffalo hides" "but buffalo are endangered and are all held in wildlife preserves" "then be careful" "sigh" Jakey hops into The Motherfucker, turns it into a dirtbike, and drives through the woods behind the Alabama National Wildlife Preserve. "oh shit look at all the buffalo" "i know right" "oh uh hello sheriff antony what are you doing here" "i got a call from the great cheryl saying that these buffalo were going to be skinned alive, which is apparently illegal" "wh-who would do such a thing" "someone who isn't up-to-date with our laws i guess" "well to save time we should totally transport these buffalo from here to safety in the motherfucker" "good idea" Jakey and Sheriff Antony herd the buffalo into The Motherfucker, which Jakey converted into a semitruck. "thanks a lot sheriff antony" "don't mention it; i'm just doing my job" Sheriff Antony wanders off with his hands in his pockets, whistling badly. Jakey drives back to The Great Cheryl's house. "WHY DID YOU CALL THE SHERIFF" "i 'thought it would be funny'" "damn your impeccable sense of humour and amazing comedic timing" "it's a gift" Jakey unloads the buffalo into The Great Cheryl's garage, and notices Michelle riding a buffalo. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/buffalo t-shirt/Sheriff Antony missions]
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PostSubject: Re: Another Thing (2014)   Wed May 29, 2013 11:11 pm

Mission 098: Black Magic Woman [The Great Cheryl]
"gerry i am out of my most important spell component" "it's still jakey" "sure whatever" "and i already got you all the buffalo that exist" "buffa-what i am talking about THE most important spell component; a piece of the AGGRO-CRAG" "but there's only one way to get a piece of the AGGRO-CRAG" "better get going; the next show is in five minutes" "OH SHIT" Jakey hops into The Motherfucker and turns it into a jet, flying to Nickelodeon Studios and diving into the locker room. "HELLO" "GET OUT THIS IS THE GIRLS' LOCKER ROOM" "i have a better idea" Jakey rams into the contestant, knocking her out. Jakey steals her blue uniform and runs out as his colour is called. "WELCOME TO NICKELODEON GUTS LET'S MEET OUR CONTESTANTS" "hi i'm jakey i'm from canada" "i thought you were supposed to be a girl" "WELL I NEVER" Jakey slaps Mike O'Malley with his handbag. "how about you in the red" "hi i'm sheriff antony from the eternal abyss of nothingness" "o-okay... and you in the purple?" "hi i'm professor eif i'm from greenland" "AND NOW WE HAVE QUADRUPLED THE SIZE OF THE AGGRO CRAG SO IT IS ALL WE HAVE TIME FOR TODAY" "how convenient" "LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT THE POINTS, MO" "uh they all have zero points mike" "NOW ON YOUR MARK GO" Jakey does a handstand and flips over to Sheriff Antony's segment of the Aggro Crag, where he climbs on a box and flips onto his first button. Jakey then takes out his hookshot and hooks to each of the buttons in sequence before reaching the top. Jakey hammers down on his final button. "hey no fair" "yeah he cheated" "does it say anywhere in the rules that i can't use a hookshot" "uh no" "then i won fair and square" "damn you jakey and your incredible foresight" "AND WE HAVE A NEW CHAMPION GIVE IT UP FOR JAKEY" "wooh" Jakey receives his gold medal and piece of the Aggro Crag. The piece of the Aggro Crag disappears from Jakey's hands. "WHAT" Jakey calls The Great Cheryl. "uh did you take my chunk of the AGGRO CRAG" "no, i took MY chunk of the AGGRO CRAG" "o-okay" Michelle leaps from the top of the Aggro Crag and lands on Jakey's shoulders. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/blue GUTS suit/gold GUTS medal/Professor Eif missions]
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Jakeyadventure
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Number of posts : 7687
Age : 23
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Registration date : 2007-12-29

PostSubject: Re: Another Thing (2014)   Wed May 29, 2013 11:11 pm

Mission 099: The Colour and the Shape [Sheriff Antony]
"jakey someone has stolen jakey's colour-change knob" "what how co-" Jakey begins changing colour. "how did-" "THERE IS NO TIME FOR QUESTIONS WE MUST ACT" "but-" "ACT jakey" "bu-" "ACT YOU RETARD" "sigh" Jakey and Sheriff Antony hop into The Motherfucker and head to Televisionz Я Us. "hello how may i serve you" "have you seen my knob" "uh no?" "well keep an eye out" Jakey leans toward Shopkeepour. "it could be anywhere" Jakey spins around and browses the televisions. "man this one has horrible reception" Jakey turns the dial on the television, and begins changing colour. "hey it's my knob" Jakey takes his colour-change knob off the television and resets himself to his original skin tone. "shopkeepour why did you take my knob" "what no i-" "THEN WHY WAS MY KNOB ON TELEVISION" "look i don't know what you do with your spare time but-" "ADMIT IT SHOPKEEPOUR YOU GRABBED MY KNOB AND PUT IT ON THAT TELEVISION" "I HAVE NEVER TOUCHED ANOTHER MAN'S KNOB" "you are a liar" "do you have any proof" "my knob was on that television!!!" "circumstantial" "damn he's good" "i guess i'll have to live with the fact that we have recovered my knob but will never find the culprit" Michelle crawls out of a television. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/televisions appear at safehouses]
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Another Thing (2014)
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