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HEY MISTER CAN WE HAVE OUR BALL BACK
 
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 Another Thing (2014)

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Jakeyadventure
apple computers


Male
Number of posts : 7687
Age : 23
Favourite Band : Nirvana
Registration date : 2007-12-29

PostSubject: Re: Another Thing (2014)   Wed May 29, 2013 11:11 pm

Mission 100: But it's All Right Now [Professor Eif]
"jakey i am studying hurricanes and their effects on windows and other objects made of glass" "okay" "the problem is there are no hurricanes right now anywhere" "that... sucks?" "yes but i have come up with an ALTERNATE SOLUTION" "uh-oh" "WE MUST CREATE A HURRICANE" "but wouldn't the destruction caused by a hurricane created in the centre of alabama's largest city kill and/or inconvenience millions" "acceptable losses" "uh" "i got a permit from sting" "oh if sting says it's okay i have no problems let's go" Jakey and Professor Eif head to the Sportsball Rink. "i have created here a portable hurricane maker" "if it's portable why don't we drag it to the middle of the ocean" "jakey 'portable' is just an expression that is used for emphasis and doesn't actually mean anything like 'literally' or 'game console'" "actually-" "JAKEY NOW IS NOT THE TIME FOR GRAMMAR 101 IT IS THE TIME FOR HURRICANES" Professor Eif flips the switch on his machine, causing the winds to stir up. "YESSSSSSSS" The machine begins to chug and billow black smoke. Gears pop off as a loud snap is heard. The machine falls into several pieces and the winds die down. "well shit" Professor Eif punches the top of the pile of gears, causing it to sputter for a bit. "damn that usually works" Michelle gets blown by the wind into Jakey's chest, knocking the wind out of him. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/machine parts appear at safehouses]
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Jakeyadventure
apple computers


Male
Number of posts : 7687
Age : 23
Favourite Band : Nirvana
Registration date : 2007-12-29

PostSubject: Re: Another Thing (2014)   Wed May 29, 2013 11:11 pm

Mission 101: In Fact, It's a Gas [Professor Eif]
"jakey since my plan d failed we are now onto plan zed" "but shouldn't plan e come after plan d" "i was never very good at organisation" "o-okay" "since there are no hurricanes we must go to a place where life is LIKE a hurricane" "you don't mean-" "i do" Jakey, Professor Eif, and Rodney hop into The Motherfucker. "jakey this is rodney he is my new window assistant" "it's a pleasure" Jakey drives The Motherfucker and its passengers to Duckburg. "HELLO AND WELCOME TO DUCKBURG" "h-hello" "LIFE IS LIKE A HURRICANE HERE IN DUCKBURG" "uh okay what are your attractions" "RACECARS, LASERS, AEROPLANES" "how fast do these aeroplanes go" "IT'S A DUCKBLUR" "what else can we do" "MIGHT SOLVE A MYSTERY" "MYSTERY?!" Erin falls through the roof of The Motherfucker and lands in Jakey's lap. "OR REWRITE HISTORY" "BORING" Erin honks the horn repeatedly. "COME ON LET'S SOLVE A MYSTERY" "uh any suggestions?" "i think our new king has a mystery" "SOLD" Erin stomps on the gas and crashes through Duckburg Hall. "I HEARD THERE WERE MYSTERIES HERE" "yeah the latest one is who are you" "we are from the distant land of ALABAMA" "and japan" "and we are here to test the effects of hurric-" "WE ARE HERE TO SOLVE A MYSTERY" "yeah the mystery of the effects of hurricanes on windows" "YES LET'S GO" Erin grabs Jakey's and Professor Eif's arms and drags them to the nearest life. "okay rodney stand here" Rodney gets into place in front of the life. "yes yes no ill effects" "YES MYSTERY SOLVED" Erin puts her hands on her hips. "DAMN I'M GOOD" Michelle gets chucked out of Duckburg Hall and hits Rodney full-force in the glass, shattering him. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" Eif falls to his knees to mourn Rodney as Michelle dusts herself off. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/Duckburg t-shirt]
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Jakeyadventure
apple computers


Male
Number of posts : 7687
Age : 23
Favourite Band : Nirvana
Registration date : 2007-12-29

PostSubject: Re: Another Thing (2014)   Wed May 29, 2013 11:11 pm

Mission 102: But it's All Right [Professor Eif]
"we are gathered here today to pay respect to our dearly departed friend, rodney" A single tear streams down Professor Eif's cheek. "he was an inspiration to us all, a model citizen and a survivor of many battles with careless, or even downright malicious cleaning ladies" Professor Eif blows his nose. "rodney meant a lot to us all, and in the end, was always there for us" Rodney's coffin begins to lower into the ground. "rest in peace, rodney; the third-best friend anyone could ever hope for" Rodney's coffin begins to be covered in dirt as Jakey steps down, done with the eulogy. Everyone marches over to the table to eat Rodney's favourite food, Chex Mix, in his honour. "wow these are some really good mixes" "i'm so glad we got chef amiee :3 to cater" Michelle claws her way out of her grave. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/another funeral suit/Chex Mix t-shirt]
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Jakeyadventure
apple computers


Male
Number of posts : 7687
Age : 23
Favourite Band : Nirvana
Registration date : 2007-12-29

PostSubject: Re: Another Thing (2014)   Wed May 29, 2013 11:11 pm

Mission 103: Jumpin' Jack Flash [Professor Eif]
"JAKEY WE NEED TO AVENGE RODNEY" "but-" "LET'S KILL MICHELLE" "dude she's my sister" "LET'S GO BACK IN TIME AND MAKE IT SO THAT YOUR MOTHER MISCARRIES HER" "but we're twins" "I DO NOT SEE HOW THIS IS RELEVANT" Professor Eif drags Jakey to the time machine and sets the dial for 1990. "remember the '90s" "only half of them" "oh shit there's your mother" "how do-" "THAT IS NOT RELEVANT JAKEY" Professor Eif runs up to Margaret and kicks her in the stomach. "ow" Jakey begins to fade out of existence. "oh professor eif" "SILENCE JAKEY THIS IS A DELICATE PROCEDURE" Professor Eif kicks Margaret in the stomach as hard as he can, causing Jakey to disappear. "where am i" "WELCOME TO THE VOID OF TIME" "uh hello" "YOU HAVE BECOME A LIVING TIME PARADOX" "that sounds less than ideal" "I WILL RECREATE THE CIRCUMSTANCES LEADING TO YOUR BIRTH IF YOU DO ME ONE FAVOUR" "what's that" "MAKE POGS POPULAR FOREVER" "oh man i've been meaning to check that off my bucket list" The disembodied voice deposits Jakey back in 2014. "hey sheriff antony do you like pogs" "I FUCKING LOVE POGS" "can i get that on film" Jakey begins rolling the live feed. "hello my name is sheriff antony and i fucking LOVE pogs" In an instant, the entire population of the world flocks to their local Pogz Я Us, buying all of the pogs and increasing the value of pog stock by 1,000,000%. "JAKEY YOU ARE MY FAVOURITE I HEREBY MAKE YOU EXIST AGAIN" "sweet" Jakey takes out his bucket list and crosses off "bring back pogs", "become a time paradox", and "do a favour for a disembodied voice". "man i am killing it today" Michelle pops into existence. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/pogs appear at safehouses/Sheriff Antony missions]
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Jakeyadventure
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Male
Number of posts : 7687
Age : 23
Favourite Band : Nirvana
Registration date : 2007-12-29

PostSubject: Re: Another Thing (2014)   Wed May 29, 2013 11:11 pm

Mission 104: It's a Gas, Gas, Gas [Professor Eif]
"jakey i left my wallet in 1990" "uh-oh" "can you get it for me" "why can't you do it" "i'm trying to discover a cure for tyrone's streaks" Jakey smiles nervously. "o-okay yeah i-i'll just go right now" Jakey hops into the time machine and heads back to 1990. Jakey grabs the Professor Eif's Wallet Detector from the dashboard and follows the trail to a trailer. Jakey heads for the stairs, but someone gets in before him and shuts the door. Jakey tries to open the door, but to no avail. "sigh" Jakey hops back into the time machine and goes back five minutes, then gets in the door. Seeing someone coming, Jakey quickly shuts the door behind him and boards it up. Jakey checks under the bed, under the couch cushions, and in the stove, but can't find Professor Eif's wallet. "goddammit how will i ever solve this mystery" A time vortex opens up. "MYSTERY?!" Erin falls through the time vortex and lands on Jakey's head, snapping his neck. Jakey falls onto the coffee table, snapping it in half. Jakey's neck heals, and he notices Professor Eif's wallet on the broken coffee table. "oh there it is" "ANOTHER MYSTERY SOLVED BY THE WORLD'S BEST... MYSTERY... SOLVER, ERIN" Michelle falls through the skylight. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/Professor Eif's Wallet Detector appears at safehouses]
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Jakeyadventure
apple computers


Male
Number of posts : 7687
Age : 23
Favourite Band : Nirvana
Registration date : 2007-12-29

PostSubject: Re: Another Thing (2014)   Wed May 29, 2013 11:12 pm

Mission 105: Witticism [Sheriff Antony]
"jakey i need you to guard me from projectiles while i run my new comedy routine at the sides club" "sounds good" Sheriff Antony hops onstage and adjusts his microphone. "hello i am sheriff antony and i am here to tell jokes which you will hopefully laugh at" "we know" "o-okay, well here is the first joke: why did the chicken run away from the pavement" "why" "because he crossed the road" A drum roll is heard. "get it, crossed as in 'betrayed' not 'walked across'" "oh" "that was a bit obtuse don't you think" "w-well i have a second joke" "tell us the second joke" "how many lightbulbs does it take to change a dollar" "how many" "i don't know; they still won't give me my deposit back" "what" "you don't pay a deposit on lightbulbs" "boo" "you suck" A man in the back chucks a tomato at Sheriff Antony, but Jakey shoots it down. "cut that out" "OKAY THIRD TIME'S THE CHARM; what's the difference between an episode of the simpsons and 9/11" "what" "9/11 was funny" The crowd roars and hollers with laughter. "THANK YOU GOOD NIGHT" The audience throws roses at Sheriff Antony, except one man, who throws Michelle. Michelle hits Sheriff Antony square in the chest. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/9/11 t-shirt]
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Jakeyadventure
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Male
Number of posts : 7687
Age : 23
Favourite Band : Nirvana
Registration date : 2007-12-29

PostSubject: Re: Another Thing (2014)   Wed May 29, 2013 11:12 pm

Mission 106: Monasticism [Sheriff Antony]
"jakey we need to infiltrate a monastery because the monks are awfully suspicious" "cool" Jakey and Sheriff Antony hop into The Motherfucker and head to Calming Utopia Networking Temple. "i'm pretty sure they only named it that for the acronym" "yeah the name doesn't even make sense" "sounds awfully suspicious" Jakey and Sheriff Antony don their monk outfits and head to the temple garden. "HELLO FELLOW MONKS WHAT A BEAUTIFUL DAY TO BE A MONK" "You Said It Brother Monk" A gong rings out. "Oh Shit It Is Time For Morning Prayer" "Fuck Yeah I Love Morning Prayer" Robert Truckdriver 4 and Robert Truckdriver 17 head for the temple proper, and Jakey and Sheriff Antony follow. "Greetings Brothers; It Is Time For Our Prayer; Who Would Like To Lead Us" "OOH ME ME ME" "You There In The Stylish Hat" Sheriff Antony hops up to the podium. "dearly beloved we are gathered here today to join these MOTHERFUCKERS WITH MY BULLETS" Sheriff Antony draws his two revolvers and opens fire upon the congregation. Jakey flips up to the stage and grabs Robert Truckdriver 2 before taking out his gun and firing upon the congregation himself. Jakey throws Robert Truckdriver 2 into the podium and puts his gun to his head. "WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF THIS CULT" "Cult? This Is A Monastery" "STOP ARGUING SEMANTICS" Jakey cocks the hammer on his gun. "You Do Realise That Cocking The Hammer On An Automatic Provides No Tactical Advantage Whatsoever Right" "fuck off robert truckdriver 2" "No" "fuck" "Anyway The Purpose Of This Monastery Is To Discuss And Praise The Beauty Of Life Itself" "YOU ARE A CUNT OF THE HIGHEST ORDER" "Well, I Don't Like To Brag, But..." Jakey holsters his gun and walks out of the temple before flicking a match behind him. The gasoline Sheriff Antony poured all over the temple ignites, causing a roaring flame. Michelle runs out of the temple, on fire. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/monk outfit]
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Jakeyadventure
apple computers


Male
Number of posts : 7687
Age : 23
Favourite Band : Nirvana
Registration date : 2007-12-29

PostSubject: Re: Another Thing (2014)   Wed May 29, 2013 11:12 pm

Mission 107: Fanaticism [Sheriff Antony]
"JAKEY JEFFREY JELLYFISH IS IN TOWN THIS WEEK" "o-okay" Sheriff Antony grabs Jakey's shoulders and shakes him. "I HAVE TO TOUCH HIM" "uh okay" "LET'S GO THERE IS NO TIME TO WASTE" Jakey and Sheriff Antony hop into The Motherfucker and head for the Bi-Annual Jellyfishing Convention. "hello and welcome to the bi-annual jellyfishing convention" "KATHY WHICH WAY TO JEFFREY JELLYFISH" Kathy points East, and Sheriff Antony sprints and tackles Jeffrey Jellyfish. "touch" A security guard grabs Sheriff Antony and boots him back to the entranceway. "man why are they so uptight about touching things" "it's a mystery" "MYSTERY?!" Erin swings from a rope, but spots Kevin C. Cucumber mid-swing. "HI KEVIN" Erin leaps off of the rope and heads for The Jellyspotters' booth. "HI KEVIN" Michelle swings from a rope and hits Dr. Manowar in the sting wound. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/Jeffrey Jellyfish t-shirt/Big Lenny t-shirt/The Jellyspotters t-shirt]
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Jakeyadventure
apple computers


Male
Number of posts : 7687
Age : 23
Favourite Band : Nirvana
Registration date : 2007-12-29

PostSubject: Re: Another Thing (2014)   Wed May 29, 2013 11:12 pm

Mission 108: Romanticism [Sheriff Antony]
"jakey i have been tasked with entertaining sting's wife while sting is away" "sounds difficult" "that's why they sent the best" "but i thought sting WASN'T going to be there" "no i meant me" "you're giving yourself a bit too much credit" "fuck off jakey" "no" "fuck" Jakey and Sheriff Antony hop into The Motherfucker and head to Sting's house. "hello mrs sting we're here" Sting's wife quickly grabs Sheriff Antony and locks the door. Jakey hears screaming and the sound of fingernails scraping against hardwood floors, then up stairs. Jakey tries to kick the door in, but is unable to. Jakey walks to the end of the walkway and runs and jumps through a window. Jakey's momentum carries him into the door leading to the basement. The door shatters from the force of Jakey's leap, and Jakey falls down the stairs. Every bone in Jakey's body breaks and is healed instantly. Jakey brushes himself off and attempts to run back up the stairs, but the stairs keep looping. "YOU NEED MORE POWER STARS TO REACH THE TOP" "okay how much" Jakey gets out his chequebook. "sting's wife locked them away in the paintings in this basement" "jesus fucking christ" Jakey leaps into Starry Night and chases down a few Power Stars. Jakey leaps back out of the painting and runs up the stairs, rounding the corner to the second staircase. Jakey attempts to ascend the second staircase, but it too reaches into infinity. Jakey runs back down the stairs and jumps into the Mona Lisa. "hey baby got any power stars" "well i never" Mona Lisa slaps Jakey with her handbag. "i need them to rescue my friend" "oh why didn't you say so" Mona Lisa reaches into her handbag, pulls out ten Power Stars, and hands them to Jakey. "thanks!!!" Jakey leaps out of the painting and sprints upstairs. "HELP HELP" Jakey runs for the end of the hall and busts through the door. "STOP RIGHT THERE STING'S WIFE" "NEVER" Sting's wife draws her scimitar. Jakey looks around and grabs a katana off the wall. "USE YOUR GUN" "DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW DRAMATIC FINAL BATTLES WORK" "sigh" Jakey leaps over Sting's wife and stabs her in the back. "ow" Jakey unties Sheriff Antony. "dude we are so going to get fired" "uh-oh" Jakey and Sheriff Antony quickly remove the katana from Sting's wife's back and prop her up in a chair. "dude she's bleeding everywhere" "CALM DOWN YOU'RE HYSTERICAL" "honey i'm home" Sting enters the room. "UH SHE WAS TIRED SO SHE DECIDED TO GO TO BED" "oh good job guys" Sting climbs into bed. "good night" Sting shuts off the light. "good night sting" Michelle runs into the room and slips on the blood. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/Mona Lisa t-shirt/Starry Night t-shirt/Sting missions]
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Jakeyadventure
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Male
Number of posts : 7687
Age : 23
Favourite Band : Nirvana
Registration date : 2007-12-29

PostSubject: Re: Another Thing (2014)   Wed May 29, 2013 11:12 pm

Mission 109: Secret Journey [Sting]
"jakey i want you to infiltrate a human trafficking ring" "if we know they're trafficking humans can't we just arrest them now" "but we need proof that they are trafficking humans" "but how can you know without proof" "fuck off jakey" "no" "fuck" Sting sighs. "if you infiltrate the human trafficking ring i will give you that bronze statue of me that you've always wanted" "DEAL" Jakey sprints into The Motherfucker and drives to a large warehouse. Jakey dons his slave trader disguise and casually strolls through the front gate with his hands in his pockets, whistling badly. "HIDELY-HO SLAVERINO" "h-hello" "WHAT A GREAT DAY TO BE SHIPPED OFF TO MAKE SHOES IN FACTORIES FOR LESS THAN TWO CENTS A DAY" "uh sure" The slave trader shuts the gate on the back of the moving truck, and the truck takes off with the slaves inside. Jakey runs after the truck and hops on back. Jakey kicks the door in, and runs to free the slaves. "are you here to save us?!" "uh well not exactly" "what" "you see getting off the truck at this speed would kill you" "why not shimmy around to kill the driver" "SIR DO NOT TELL ME HOW TO DO MY JOB" "but-" "FUCK OFF SLAVE" "no" "FUCK" Jakey plants a tracking device and a listening device in the truck, then repairs the door. Jakey leaps off the back of the truck and splatters on the windshield of the car in back of him, driven by Michelle. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/slave trader outfit]
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Jakeyadventure
apple computers


Male
Number of posts : 7687
Age : 23
Favourite Band : Nirvana
Registration date : 2007-12-29

PostSubject: Re: Another Thing (2014)   Wed May 29, 2013 11:12 pm

Mission 110: Every Little Thing She Does is Magic [Sting]
"jakey we have traced the slave car to a shack downtown" "let's go then!!!" Jakey and Sting hop into The Motherfucker and follow the tracking device to a shack. "FREEZE YOU'RE UNDER ARREST" "whatever did i do officer" "FOR BUYING SLAVES" "what they're not slaves; they're just magicians' assistants" The Great Cheryl taps one of the slaves on the head with her wand and he becomes drenched in water. "help" "help she is enslaving us and forcing us to come up with magic tricks" "THIS SOUNDS INCRIMINATING" "oh well i tried hey look over there" Sting and Jakey turn their heads while The Great Cheryl makes her slaves disappear. "UH-OH LOOKS LIKE ALL THE WITNESSES ARE GONE" "goddammit" Sting throws his arms up in the air and stomps out of the shack. The Great Cheryl pulls Michelle out of a hat. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/The Great Cheryl missions]
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Jakeyadventure
apple computers


Male
Number of posts : 7687
Age : 23
Favourite Band : Nirvana
Registration date : 2007-12-29

PostSubject: Re: Another Thing (2014)   Wed May 29, 2013 11:12 pm

Mission 111: Spanish Castle Magic [The Great Cheryl]
"jared i am going to perform for the king of alabama!!!" "my name is still jakey" "fuck off jason" "who" "fuck" Jakey and The Great Cheryl hop into The Motherfucker, which has been converted into a limousine, and head to Alabama Hall. "HELLO KING BRIAN" "uh it's king bran" "WHATEVER" The Great Cheryl pulls some rabbits out of some hats. "wow" "how does she do it" "rabbits don't live in hats" "she is so amazing" "THANK YOU GOOD NIGHT" The Great Cheryl dissolves through the floor. "wow" Michelle dissolves through the ceiling. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/King Bran missions]
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Jakeyadventure
apple computers


Male
Number of posts : 7687
Age : 23
Favourite Band : Nirvana
Registration date : 2007-12-29

PostSubject: Re: Another Thing (2014)   Wed May 29, 2013 11:13 pm

Mission 112: That's Life [King Bran]
"JAKEY THERE IS A HORRIBLE NEW FAD THE KIDS ARE INTO" "OH NO" "I MUST PUT A STOP TO IT" King Bran whips out his favourite pen and grabs some royal paper. "uh king bran it is illegal to sign decrees with your favourite pen" "WHAT" Jakey shows King Bran the law he signed to ban the use of his favourite pen for the purpose of signing decrees. "WHAT BUT BUT BUT WHY" "just use a different pen" "A DIFFERENT WHAT" Jakey takes out a blue clicky pen and offers it to King Bran, who smacks it out of Jakey's hand. "I GUESS WE JUST HAVE TO LET THESE UNGRATEFUL KIDS RUIN OUR COUNTRY" "what have i done" A single tear streams down Jakey's cheek as he realises the sheer magnitude of his crimes. "HERE YE PEOPLE OF ALABAMA THIS FAD WILL NEVER END" "WHAT" The citizens of Alabama enter Riotz Я Us and grab pitchforks and torches. They begin razing Alabama to the ground. Michelle sets fire to an Alabamanian flag. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/Alabamanian flag t-shirt]
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Jakeyadventure
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Male
Number of posts : 7687
Age : 23
Favourite Band : Nirvana
Registration date : 2007-12-29

PostSubject: Re: Another Thing (2014)   Wed May 29, 2013 11:13 pm

Mission 113: That's What All the People Say [King Bran]
"king bran are you sure you won't use a different pen" "buh" "that's not a word" "muh" Jakey clenches his fist, resolving to fix the horrible fate he has brought upon Alabama. Jakey hops into The Motherfucker and flies to an uninhabited island in the Kingbranandjakeybestfriendsforever Ocean. Jakey converts The Motherfucker into a large tower, decorated with the flags of the world. "I DECLARE THIS ISLAND HEADQUARTERS OF THE COALITION OF UNITED NATIONS TOGETHER" Jakey signs a law forbidding laws that forbid pens from being used. "SO IT IS WRITTEN, SO THAT THING WILL HAPPEN" Jakey reconverts The Motherfucker into a jet and flies off to Alabama Hall. "KING BRAN THE COALITION OF UNITED NATIONS TOGETHER HAS MADE A LAW VOIDING THE LAW THAT PROHIBITS USE OF YOUR FAVOURITE PEN" "YESSSSSSSS" King Bran signs the law to ban the use of yo-yos. Michelle is flung back and forth from the ceiling by a string. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/Coalition of United Nations Together t-shirt]
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Jakeyadventure
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Number of posts : 7687
Age : 23
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Registration date : 2007-12-29

PostSubject: Re: Another Thing (2014)   Wed May 29, 2013 11:14 pm

Mission 114: You're Ridin' High in April [King Bran]
"jakey my approval rating has SKYROCKETED and it is all thanks to you" King Bran hands Jakey the local newspaper. "'evil baron takes power with ancient pen that had been sealed away for years; only one pen known to be able to defeat it'" "no not that the other one" "but this seems important" "what could be more important than my approval rating?!" "good point" Jakey reads the article about King Bran before reading about the evil baron. "we should probably stop this evil baron" "how would we do that" "it says there is a pen that can defeat him" "what kind of pen could even have that kind of power" King Bran twirls his favourite pen between his fingers. "i have no clue" Michelle pops out of the newspaper. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/newspaper appears at safehouses]
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Jakeyadventure
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Number of posts : 7687
Age : 23
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Registration date : 2007-12-29

PostSubject: Re: Another Thing (2014)   Wed May 29, 2013 11:14 pm

Mission 115: Then Shot Down in May [King Bran]
"hey king bran can i borrow your favourite pen to defeat the evil baron" "no" "damn foiled again" Michelle peeks up from behind the throne. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/respect + t-shirt]
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Jakeyadventure
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Number of posts : 7687
Age : 23
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Registration date : 2007-12-29

PostSubject: Re: Another Thing (2014)   Wed May 29, 2013 11:14 pm

Mission 116: But I Know I'm Gonna Change Their Tune [King Bran]
"hey king bran check out this fucking AMAZING PEN" Jakey holds up a pen he found by the side of the road. "it looks like it got run over by a semi-truck" "BUT IT SURVIVED AND STILL WRITES" Jakey grabs a piece of paper and begins scribbling. "GODDAMMIT WORK DAMN YOU" Jakey holds a lighter up to the tip of the pen and begins scribbling. After a few seconds, ink comes out. "SEE IT IS SO MUCH COOLER THAN YOUR FAVOURITE PEN" "cool i hope you enjoy it" "wanna trade" "nah" "curses" Michelle springs to life from Jakey's scribbles. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/fucking amazing pen appears at safehouses]
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Jakeyadventure
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Number of posts : 7687
Age : 23
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Registration date : 2007-12-29

PostSubject: Re: Another Thing (2014)   Wed May 29, 2013 11:14 pm

Mission 117: When I'm Back on Top in June [King Bran]
"hey king bran check out the latest issue of faux news weekly" Jakey passes King Bran the latest issue of Faux News Weekly. "my favourite pen is in the child porn industry?!" "sad but true" "my favourite pen voted to make the aggro crag illegal?!" Jakey nods solemnly. "shame the only magazine i trust is kathy magazine" "dammit" Jakey walks over to Kathy. "kathy you've got to print a smear article against king bran's favourite pen in tomorrow's issue of kathy magazine" "sorry jakey but i only print the stories people care about" Kathy goes back to writing her latest story, 'Paisley Socks and Sandals: The New Wave of Fashion'. "goddammit" Michelle climbs out of Kathy's computer screen. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/Faux News Weekly t-shirt/Faux News Weekly appears at safehouses]
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Jakeyadventure
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Number of posts : 7687
Age : 23
Favourite Band : Nirvana
Registration date : 2007-12-29

PostSubject: Re: Another Thing (2014)   Wed May 29, 2013 11:14 pm

Mission 118: I Said That's Life [King Bran]
"hey king bran have you heard of this new religion (that i am not the founder of honest) that claims that your favourite pen was forged by satan himself in the fires of hell" "oh cool" "and now all of the people who follow this religion (which is totally a number that is greater than one) want it burned at the stake" "uh-oh" King Bran quickly organises a television appearance to disprove the religion's statement. "how do you respond to the allegations that your favourite pen was forged by satan himself in the fires of hell" "i deny them vehemently" "but the allegations have never lied to me before" "but neither have i" "just because you have not lied to me before does not mean that you are not lying to me now or will not lie to me in the future" "but i have satan here to confirm my claims" "HELLO I DID NOT FORGE KING BRAN'S FAVOURITE PEN" "how do YOU respond to the FACTS" Reporter falls to the floor. "why" A single tear streams down Reporter's face. "why did you lie to me, the allegations" Reporter draws his gun and aims at his head, realising that he has been blind this whole time. Reporter pulls the trigger, ending his life once and for all. Backstage, another Reporter exits the cloning vats with Michelle in his arms. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/Reporter t-shirt]
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Jakeyadventure
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Male
Number of posts : 7687
Age : 23
Favourite Band : Nirvana
Registration date : 2007-12-29

PostSubject: Re: Another Thing (2014)   Wed May 29, 2013 11:14 pm

Mission 119: And as Funny as it May Seem [King Bran]
"hey king bran have you heard the news reports that say pens have been getting haunted lately" "OH NO" King Bran whips out his cellphone and calls an exorcist. "king bran i am here to exorcise your favourite pen?" "he's right here" King Bran lays his favourite pen on a table, and Crazy Svart begins exorcising it. A malevolent spirit shoots out of King Bran's favourite pen, and Crazy Svart rubs some Ghost-B-Gone on it. "thanks jakey you're a big help" "goddammit" Michelle catches the malevolent spirit in a vacuum cleaner. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/Ghost-B-Gone t-shirt]
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Jakeyadventure
apple computers


Male
Number of posts : 7687
Age : 23
Favourite Band : Nirvana
Registration date : 2007-12-29

PostSubject: Re: Another Thing (2014)   Wed May 29, 2013 11:14 pm

Mission 120: Some People Get Their Kicks [King Bran]
"hey king bran check out this new pen i just invented" Jakey sets up a television display, which plays an infomercial. "hi, i'm sheriff antony; you may remember me from such endorsements as 'spider-man' and 'camel cigarettes'; but today i'm here to talk about this pen" Sheriff Antony holds up a pen. "but sheriff antony, i hear you say, that's just a regular ordinary pen!!! well, you're wrong" Sheriff Antony clicks in the button on the pen. "this pen also functions as a syringe, a battering ram, an ironing board, a lighter; it slices, it dices, and it certainly entices" Sheriff Antony winks. "how much does this wonderful pen cost, you ask? a hundred dollars? TWO hundred dollars? why, no!!! it is absolutely free from a representative!!! get yours today!!!" "so what do you think" "it sounds cool but i think i'll stick with my favourite pen for now" "FUCKING FUCK ASS COCK SHIT FUCK" Michelle accidentally cuts her hand off with Jakey's new pen. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/shipment of pens appears at safehouses]
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Jakeyadventure
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Male
Number of posts : 7687
Age : 23
Favourite Band : Nirvana
Registration date : 2007-12-29

PostSubject: Re: Another Thing (2014)   Wed May 29, 2013 11:15 pm

Mission 121: Stomping on a Dream [King Bran]
"hey king bran i am holding your favourite pen hostage" "YOU FIEND WHAT DO YOU EVEN WANT" "your favourite pen" "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO" King Bran hops into the kingly limousine and races to the warehouse Jakey is hiding in. "GIVE ME BACK MY FAVOURITE PEN YOU FIEND" "do you have the payment" "no because you have my favourite pen" "well i guess we're at a standstill then" "wait you should give me my favourite pen so that i can give it to you for the safe return of my favourite pen" "oh that sounds logical" Jakey hands King Bran his favourite pen, then King Bran hands Jakey his favourite pen. "ah yes that will do nicely" Jakey hands King Bran back his favourite pen. "thanks" King Bran skips merrily out of the warehouse. Jakey exits the warehouse smiling, for noew he has what he desires. "wait... fuck" Michelle bursts out of a shipping crate. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/knock-off t-shirts]
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Jakeyadventure
apple computers


Male
Number of posts : 7687
Age : 23
Favourite Band : Nirvana
Registration date : 2007-12-29

PostSubject: Re: Another Thing (2014)   Wed May 29, 2013 11:15 pm

Mission 122: But I Don't Let It [King Bran]
"hey king bran the newspapers say that your favourite pen killed six men in boston" "OH NO" "the trial is today" "SHIT" King Bran quickly writes up a pardon for his favourite pen with his favourite pen. "there now everything is fine" "goddammit" Jakey solemnly walks away, his hands dripping blood. Michelle runs straight into Jakey. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/murder victims' clothing]
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Jakeyadventure
apple computers


Male
Number of posts : 7687
Age : 23
Favourite Band : Nirvana
Registration date : 2007-12-29

PostSubject: Re: Another Thing (2014)   Wed May 29, 2013 11:15 pm

Mission 123: Let it Get Me Down [King Bran]
"hey king bran i found this note; i think it was written by your favourite pen" Jakey hands King Bran the forged note. "'goodbye, cruel world'... OH NO" King Bran rushes to his favourite pen's bedroom to see it covered in blood. "oh no no no no" Many single tears stream down King Bran's face as he mourns the death of his favourite pen. "he will be cremated" "wait what" King Bran carries his favourite pen over to the royal furnace. "you were the best pen a man could hope for" King Bran closes his eyes and drops his favourite pen into the furnace. "NO SHIT FUCK" Jakey sprints over to the furnace and prevents King Bran's favourite pen from falling in by leaping into the furnace itself. "THIS IS THE WORST PAIN I HAVE EVER EXPERIENCED" "me too jakey... me too" King Bran solemnly walks off, his eyes unleashing a torrent of single tears. Jakey grabs King Bran's favourite pen with his melting hand and struggles to get out of the furnace. Jakey shuffles outside, his flesh unmelting as he walks. "you'd think it would hurt less when you're un-melting" A single tear streams down Jakey's mostly-healed cheek. "you'd be wrong" Michelle slowly rises from in front of King Bran's favourite pen's grave, a single tear slowly working its way down her cheek. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/King Bran's favourite pen/The Evil Baron missions]
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Jakeyadventure
apple computers


Male
Number of posts : 7687
Age : 23
Favourite Band : Nirvana
Registration date : 2007-12-29

PostSubject: Re: Another Thing (2014)   Wed May 29, 2013 11:15 pm

Mission 124: Because This Fine Old World [The Evil Baron]
"hey the evil baron i finally have the power to stop you" "oh hey jakey actually just before you got here i realised that i had gone mad with power and am now turning myself in to the local authorities" "but but" "i'm glad we could resolve this with minimal bloodshed jakey" The Evil Baron walks out in handcuffs, escorted by Andy Summers and Stewart Copeland. "but but" Michelle breaks through The Police tape. "take me home"
[reward: respect +/The Police tape t-shirt/Sheriff Antony missions]
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Another Thing (2014)
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