Dragon Age in Space the Third

I guess after the verbal thrashing I gave ME2, the question is: is ME3 shitty?
Well, no. Not yet anyway.
The game gets points for beginning in glorious Canada. Vancouver, to be precise. Also, I started at level thirty. As in, 30. XXX, if you'd prefer.

I absolutely love the references to previous games. Highlights include

Spoiler:

Current squad:

Spoiler:

Yeah.

There's a reporter chick who you can recruit for your crew. She looks like she's in the completely wrong game. She reminds me of Viola.

Also, I encountered a thing. It is a shiny and I don't know what it is.

I found two.

Spoiler:

MEMORIES:



Times changed discs: 2
Game freezes: 1

SO TODAY

Spoiler:

Also, I met the most badass hanar ever.

Times changed discs: 5
Game freezes: 1

Game freezes: 2
Disc changes: 6

Okay, I'm not going to get into specifics, but from conversations with Purple, I've figured out that Bioware are big fans of Katawa Shoujo. Think about it.

Mass Effect 2's entire character development tree for most characters is blocked by "YOU MUST BE FUCKING ME TO CONTINUE". In order to learn about Katawa Shoujo's characters, you must romance them.
Mass Effect 3 features decisions that matter. The smallest detail from all three games can determine a character's fate. The smallest detail from Katawa Shoujo determines Hisao's fate.

Now all we need is Katawa Shoujo II to introduce ME3's combat and we'll be golden.

Before the ending I would have rated this game 10/10, GOTYAY

After the ending, 2/10 and I can never touch the series again until Bioware fix it

Here is how I would have done the ending:

BAD ENDING (low readiness):
The Crucible fails. The races band together to add more information to the plan they found. The reapers wipe out everything. The ending shows an unrecognisable creature finding Liara's box about Shepard.

PARAGON ENDINGS (high readiness):
The Crucible works. All the reapers are disabled. The races use technology scavenged from the reapers to rebuild faster than imaginable.
Shepard either:
BEST ENDING:
Gets rescued by Joker and treated by Chakwas. She makes a full recovery and goes on more adventures with love interest if applicable. Statues are erected of her and her companions throughout the galaxy. The game ends on her and a crew of familiar faces exploring a Prothean ruin. She wears a fedora and carries a whip.
GOOD ENDING:
Gets rescued by Joker, but dies on the Normandy surrounded by her friends. Statues are erected of her and her companions throughout the galaxy, and her name is added to the Normandy's memorial wall, right at the top. The game ends on her gravestone, with love interest or Admiral Hackett leaving flowers by her grave and saluting if applicable.

RENEGADE ENDING (good choices until the very end):
Shepard kills Tim and takes control of the reapers herself. Everyone lives in peace under fear of Shepard's retribution. Shepard rules the galaxy forever.

WHAT THE FUCK SHEPARD ENDING (bad choices):
Tim manages to control the reapers. Everyone is bent to his will. Those who oppose him die. The galaxy is fit for Tim and Tim alone. Shepard rules alongside him as a joke.



Mass Effect: Invisible War would make all five endings canon.















BUT INSTEAD WE GOT

how i would have done it:




then, at E3:




surprise! he was indoctrinated

then michelle's like "take me home"

PARAGON ENDINGS (high readiness):
The Crucible works. All the reapers are disabled. The races use technology scavenged from the reapers to rebuild faster than imaginable.
Shepard either:
BEST ENDING:
Gets rescued by Joker and treated by Chakwas. She makes a full recovery and goes on more adventures with love interest if applicable. Statues are erected of her and her companions throughout the galaxy. The game ends on her and a crew of familiar faces exploring a Prothean ruin. She wears a fedora and carries a whip.
GOOD ENDING:
Gets rescued by Joker, but dies on the Normandy surrounded by her friends. Statues are erected of her and her companions throughout the galaxy, and her name is added to the Normandy's memorial wall, right at the top. The game ends on her gravestone, with love interest or Admiral Hackett leaving flowers by her grave and saluting if applicable.
PRAGMATIST ENDING:
Gets rescued by Joker, but dies on the Normandy surrounded by her friends. Technology from the Collector Base is used to rebuild her. Statues are erected of her and her companions throughout the galaxy. Shepard goes on to become humanity's councilor. The game ends on her smiling at her old uniform as she does paperwork.

Mass Effect: Invisible War would make all five endings canon.

If I make a great joke and no one is around to understand it, is it still fucking amazing?
I say yes.