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HEY MISTER CAN WE HAVE OUR BALL BACK

ADVENTURE

HEY MISTER CAN WE HAVE OUR BALL BACK
 
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 Pasta Bolognese

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Jakeyadventure
apple computers


Male
Number of posts : 7685
Age : 23
Favourite Band : Nirvana
Registration date : 2007-12-29

PostSubject: Pasta Bolognese   Mon Apr 08, 2013 7:27 pm

EPYSODE ONE:
A stranger steps into town, his eyes surveying the landscape, and his hands ready to draw his six-shooters at a moment's notice. A man steps out from behind a building, his own hands ready to draw, and his eyes resting steadily on the stranger. "well hello there, stranger" The man steps closer to the stranger. "you best not start any trouble in our fair town" "says who" "the sheriff of this town; sheriff antony" Sheriff Antony stands firm right in front of the stranger. "and who might you be" "i don't have a name" "0/10" "fuck" "your name, stranger?" The stranger sighs. "jakey" "well jakey you're welcome to stay for as long as you'd like so long as you don't cause any trouble" "i figured" Sheriff Antony spins about on one heel and walks back to his office. Deputy Orange trails behind, holding a large stack of papers. Jakey turns and walks into the saloon. "howdy partner i'm eif the bartender what can i getcha" "mountain dew" The entire saloon goes silent, aside from the sounds of glasses hitting the floor and breaking. "a-are ya sure stranger?! only the hardcorest of the outlaws drink that!!!" "i know" Eif swallows hard and begins pouring Jakey a mug of Mountain Dew. "drink it up quick now before it melts through the glass" "this ain't my first rodeo" Jakey gulps down the mug of Mountain Dew without coming up for air, and slams the mug down on the bar. "oh my he is so gruff and handsome" "meh i've seen handsomer" "i do believe i'm gettin' the vapours" Amiee :3 gets the vapours. "i will prove to you that drinking mountain dew does not make you gruff and handsome" Kathy stomps over to the bar. "get me a mountain dew bro" "HA like a lady like you could handl-" Kathy grabs Eif by the shirt. "GO IT" Eif pours another mug of Mountain Dew, which Kathy gulps down without coming up for air. "see" "i don't know kathy you are pretty gruff and handsome" "shit fuck ass fuck"
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Jakeyadventure
apple computers


Male
Number of posts : 7685
Age : 23
Favourite Band : Nirvana
Registration date : 2007-12-29

PostSubject: Re: Pasta Bolognese   Mon Apr 08, 2013 7:27 pm

EPYSODE TWO:
"i'd like to order the fondue" "sir we do not serve that here" "WHAT" "i do not even know what that is" "WHAT" Sheriff Antony flips up a table and stomps out of the saloon. "see you next week then" "it's a date" Sheriff Antony waves and heads back to his office. "sheriff antony profits of this town are down 1,000%" "what" "i think it's time for layoffs" "good idea" Sheriff Antony scribbles something on a piece of paper and hands it to Deputy Orange. "wait what" "the paper says that you are laid off" Sheriff Antony motions towards the door. Deputy Orange sighs and returns home to his family.
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU GOT LAID OFF" "i-it was so sudden" "I KNEW I SHOULD HAVE MARRIED THE BUTCHER" "but butcher bran would never marry someone whose looks are so sub-par" "fuck" Amiee :3 paces around the room. "i do believe i will go after that stranger" "WHAT but he's like super-lame" "even so, he is less lame than you" "fuck" "you have only yourself to blame" Amiee :3 jumps out the window onto her horse. "goodbye, deputy orange" Amiee :3 rides off to find the stranger.
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Jakeyadventure
apple computers


Male
Number of posts : 7685
Age : 23
Favourite Band : Nirvana
Registration date : 2007-12-29

PostSubject: Re: Pasta Bolognese   Mon Apr 08, 2013 7:27 pm

EPYSODE THREE:
"hey amiee :3 what are you doing" "i'm going to find that stranger" "dude he's right over there" Kathy points to Jakey. "oh" Amiee :3 dismounts and walks over to Jakey, with Kathy following close behind. "hey bro you are so handsome and cool will you marry me" "no" "fuck" "hey who's your friend" "wait WHAT" "hello" "um hi" "come on no one wanted to date kathy in high school because she is unattractive + smells bad" "0/10" "fuck" "so are you doing anything tonight" "i was planning on declining all my friend requests on facesaloon" "can i come" "um" Kathy sweats. "... sure?" "yaaayyyyyyyyyyy" Kathy and Jakey mount Amiee :3's horse and ride to Kathy's house. "... what just happened"
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Jakeyadventure
apple computers


Male
Number of posts : 7685
Age : 23
Favourite Band : Nirvana
Registration date : 2007-12-29

PostSubject: Re: Pasta Bolognese   Mon Apr 08, 2013 7:27 pm

EPYSODE FOUR:
"i just don't know what i'll do without my job guys" "but your job was horrible" "TAKE THAT BACK" "i'd rather not" "fuck" "I Can Empathise With Deputy Orange's Plight; I Know That If I Lost My Job, I Would Be A Wreck" "you said it robert truckdriver" "but honestly who wants to sit around licking sheriff antony's boots all day" "someone has to; those ground-in stains won't clean themselves" "apparently they will since sheriff antony just got rid of you" "times are hard eif!!!" "yes, they are so hard that sheriff antony was able to buy himself a new horse" "what" Eif points to Sheriff Antony's new horse in the stable. "the old one was getting on in years; can't fight crime on an old horse" "yawn" "Well I Should Be Getting To Bed" "but it's only six-thirty" "I Do Not See How This Is Relevant" Robert Truckdriver 23 leaves. "look 'deputy', i'm only saying this because it's totally true: sheriff antony doesn't care about you; also full house aces over sevens" "FUCK" Deputy Orange gives all of his money to Eif. "this is the best day" "more like the worst day" "0/10" "not even trolling" Deputy Orange solemnly leaves the saloon as it starts to rain.
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Jakeyadventure
apple computers


Male
Number of posts : 7685
Age : 23
Favourite Band : Nirvana
Registration date : 2007-12-29

PostSubject: Re: Pasta Bolognese   Mon Apr 08, 2013 7:27 pm

EPYSODE FIVE:
"sheriff antony can i have a word" "oh sure" Sheriff Antony nervously repositions himself so as to hide his new secretary. "can i please come back on board i will work for half of my normal pay" "tempting" Sheriff Antony considers it. "make it a quarter and you have a deal" "deal" Sheriff Antony and Deputy Orange shake hands, and Deputy Orange heads to his desk. "wait that's not where your desk is any more" "wat" "i converted that area into a home gym" "..." "..." "okay" "your desk is over here next to kathy's" "wait what" "hello" "how much are you getting paid" "a lot" "fuck" "but hey deputy orange now you get to do harder, more dangerous jobs" "fuck" A worried man rushes in. "SHERIFF IT'S AMIEE :3 SHE IS IN TROUBLE" "deputy orange you handle it" "but-" "DO IT OR YOU'RE FIRED" "fuck" Deputy Orange hops onto his mule and heads off to the edge of town.
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Jakeyadventure
apple computers


Male
Number of posts : 7685
Age : 23
Favourite Band : Nirvana
Registration date : 2007-12-29

PostSubject: Re: Pasta Bolognese   Mon Apr 08, 2013 7:27 pm

EPYSODE SIX:
"amiee :3 don't do this thing" "oh it's you" Amiee :3 continues affixing her rope to a tree branch. "what are you doing with that rope" "killing myself dog" "b-but" "since you lost your job and the stranger doesn't think i'm cool i have decided the best course of action is death" "but i got my job back" "really" "yeah and for a quarter pay" "..." "..." "so yeah goodbye cruel world" Amiee :3 ties the noose around her neck. "JAKEY COME HERE" "hey what's up bro" "my wife is going to kill herself!!!" "oh you mean that fat chick?" "WHAT" Amiee :3 looks down at her stomach. "fuck my life" "jakey she will kill herself if you do not run away with her and give her at least 75% of all your money" "why the FUCK would i want to do that" Deputy Orange sweats. "besides i'm in a vague relationship with kathy anyway" "OH THAT IS THE LAST STRAW" Deputy Orange stomps into the office, enraged.
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Jakeyadventure
apple computers


Male
Number of posts : 7685
Age : 23
Favourite Band : Nirvana
Registration date : 2007-12-29

PostSubject: Re: Pasta Bolognese   Mon Apr 08, 2013 7:27 pm

EPYSODE SEVEN:
"KATHY YOU HAVE RUINED MY LIFE FOR THE LAST TIME" "doubt it" "AAAAAAAAAAAAA" Deputy Orange reaches for Kathy's throat. Kathy nonchalantly pulls out her gun and shoots Deputy Orange between the eyes without looking up from her paperwork. "hey kathy what's up" "i finished the paperwork" "you have exceeded expectations; i am giving you a raise and the rest of the day off" "wooh" Kathy flips up her desk and rushes outside. "oh hey amiee :3" "oh hey kathy how's ruining my life going" "pretty well you know" "well now to kill myself" "what why" "because jakey called me fat" "oh that sounds logical" "Wait Amiee :3 You Are Not Fat You Are In Fact A Bit Too Thin" "what" "You Look Kind Of Annorexic; You Should Really Eat More" "but i have no money or objects to sell to buy food for me" "I Will Give You All Of That And More If You Will Only Come Down" "WOOH" Amiee :3 tears off her noose and leaps into Robert Truckdriver 23's arms. "all's well that ends well?" "sure why not"
THE END
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