End of the World Special

END OF THE WORLD SPECIAL AND SHIT:
"jakey what are you doing" "SHUT THE FUCK UP EIF CAN'T YOU FUCKING SEE THAT I AM FUCKING HIDING BEHIND THIS HOUSE PLANT" "what why" "THE FUCKING WORLD IS GOING TO END SOON" "what says who" "THE MAYANS" "who" "..." "..." "good point" "i heard the mayans think people are made of corn" "FUCK OFF SHERIFF ANTONY NO ONE LIKES YOU" "oh right" "hasn't the world ended like eight times already" "shrug" "hey guys i'm here to reupholster the house plant" "that was today?!" "yeah dude we scheduled it weeks ago" "FUCK" The man grabs the house plant and leaves. "where am i going to hide now!!!" "under the bed?" "THERE ARE MONSTERS UNDER THERE YOU FUCKING CUNT" "i'm sure they'd scootch over if you asked" "i'm pretty sure when the world ends the first place that's gonna get hit is under the bed" "fuck" "where can i hide!!!" "the closet?" "no because then you would make mean jokes about me when i emerged and hurt my feelings" "but we'll be dead" "oh right" Jakey walks off to the closet with his hands in his pockets, whistling badly.
"3 2 1 HAPPY APOCALYPSE" Confetti falls from the ceiling. "welp the world hasn't ended" "time to make mean jokes about jakey" The seven walk to the closet and open the door. "hey jakey it's the end of the world as we know it and i feel fine" "fuck" "come on out and join the party" "NO I KNOW YOUR TRICKS" "rats" "I WILL NEVER EMERGE FROM THIS CLOSET BECAUSE THEN YOU WILL BE UNABLE TO MAKE MEAN JOKES ABOUT ME" "untrue" "... what" "i can't believe how insecure jakey is i mean he's still in the closet" "FUCK" Jakey falls to the floor, sobbing. "why" "oh so you've finally come out of the closet" "goddamn you" "i am superior" "we'll see about that after you fight my pet HARLEQUIN FOETUS KNIGHT"
Sheriff Antony twirls his revolvers. "heh" Bran launches the harlequin foetus knight into the air, and Sheriff Antony shoots it with his revolvers. Taylor leaps into the air and impales the harlequin foetus knight. Taylor leaps off, and Tony runs at the harlequin foetus knight, sword dragging across the floor, and releases it into a deadly spiral of energy. The harlequin foetus knight is launched into the air, and Michelle leaps at it and kicks it at a wall. Amiee :3 makes pastry for Jakey and Eif as they play Strip Parcheesi. "so like" "yeah?" "what now" "well according to protocol, one of us has to get his/her powers now" "but i already have them" "play along you you not-very-cool guy" "TAKE THAT BACK" "okay yeah that was mean" "OKAY" Jakey runs around aimlessly and gets struck by a bolt of electricity. Electricity shoots from Jakey's left hand and obliterates the harlequin foetus knight. "wow nice job jakey" "yeah you're pretty cool" "you mean it?!" "no" "fuck"